Monthly Archives: November 2011

With allies like these…

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Pakistan is the drug addict. America is the drug.
Pak knows that the US is destroying it, but can’t do without it.
Or…
America is the drug addict. Pakistan is the drug.
The US knows that Pak is destroying it, but can’t do without it.
Whatever!

The US-Pak Barney song

Please sing to the tune of Barney…

I hate you,
You hate me,
We’re an alleged happy family,
With a great big deception,
And a threat from me to you,
Won’t you say you hate me too?

An old one…
US-Pak ties are like a terribly failed marriage where both parties are petrified of divorce.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

The Sachin Tendulkar “99To100 Era”…

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So much time is passing between Sachin’s 99 and 100th international century, that we can now officially call it the “99To100 Era”.

Let’s take a look at the earth-shattering events have already taken place in this Era so far…

India wins World Cup after 28 years… Osama finally captured and killed… Gaddafi toppled and killed after 42 years… Left rule ends in West Bengal after 34 years… Anna Hazare Lokpal Revolution… Djokovic becomes No. 1 to end Federer-Nadal Era … F1 comes to India… Amitabh becomes grandfather… Will-Kat wedding… Indian bowler takes fiver and scores century in Test after 40 years… The following people pass away… Sathya Sai Baba, Steve Jobs, MAK Pataudi, Jagjit Singh, Bhupen Hazarika, Shammi Kapoor, Joe Frazier, MF Hussain, Elizabeth Taylor, Amy Winehouse, Suresh Tendulkar…

Sachin Mahashatak Misses #16 & #17
Fact of the day: There have been close to 75 international centuries after Sachin Tendulkar scored his 99th international century.
Thought of the day: Will Sachin at least hit the world’s 100th international century after his own 99th?

Sidelight of India-West Indies Third Test at Wankhede Stadium:

The amazing consistency of R Ashwin…
Day 4: Hum match haar rahe hain!
Ashwin: Don’t worry main draw karata hu…
Day 5: Hum match jeet rahe hain!
Ashwin: Don’t worry main draw karata hu…

© Sunil Rajguru

The Facebook Ilu Ilu song…

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Please read to the tune of the song Ilu Ilu from the film Saudagar…

Ilu…
Ilu ilu…
Ye ilu ilu kya hai yeh ilu ilu,
Jab news feed main koi status message aaya to dost ne kaha,
Ilu ilu… ilu ilu…
Picture dekh ke aaya dher saara maja, to bola ye samaa,
Ilu ilu… ilu ilu…
Jab koi virtual cheez achhi lagti hai, badi pyaari pyaari lagti hai,
To dost click karta hai,
Ilu ilu… ilu ilu…
Ye ilu ilu kya hai ye ilu ilu,
Ilu ka matlab I l you, I l you,
Ilu ka matlab I like you, I like you,
Hey I like your status, I like your pix, I like your comment…

Ilu…
Ilu ilu…
Ye ilu ilu kya hai ye ilu ilu,
Jab meethe status koi lagaye misri ki meesri ki meethi daliyon se,
Jab mast baharon ka mausam ka koi picture lagaye,
Jab link se aaye koi gyaan guru,
To dost click karta hai,
Ilu ilu… ilu ilu…
Ye ilu ilu kya hai ye ilu ilu,
Ilu ka matlab I l you, I l you,
Ilu ka matlab I like you, I like you,
Hey I like your status, I like your pix, I like your comment…

(Original song: Ilu Ilu.
Film: Saudagar.
Year: 1991.)

This spoof by Sunil Rajguru

The A to Z of Chak de India…

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Every Indian citizen has his own Chak de India type of slogan to go along with his or her life…

Ask de India: The RTI activist: Asking a lot of questions. Getting some answers. Creating a lot of scams!

Buck de India: Your average Indian government official asking you for a bribe.

Chuck de India: What you feel like doing at times: Simply emigrating.

Dhak de India: Hide all the dirt and poverty and everything will be fine!

EMI ek ek karke de India: How the housing car and electronics industries are booming.

F1 de India: Asking for the moon and getting it! One of the world’s most expensive sports comes to (not so poor) Uttar Pradesh.

Geek de India: What the rest of the I-T world is asking of us.

Haq de India: The common harassed citizen always asking for his rights. A more potent form of this is Saadda Haq de India.

Ishq de India: Are we a nation starved of love?

Jhak de India: Sab Jhak hi to maarte rahate hai!

Khan de India: Whether it’s SRK, Salman or Aamir, Bollywood can’t do without any of them.

Luck de India: We are a nation that still believes in fate.

Music de India: Whether it’s Bollywood, award shows, talent hunts, school programmes… India just can’t seem to do without music.

Newsbreak de India: What all the news channels want 24X7.

Overtake de India: The slogan of all Indian roads, everyone wants to get ahead no matter what.

Puke de India: What some foreigners feel like doing when they visit some of the dirtier zones of the country.

Quick de India: Everyone is in a tearing hurry, but still things happen slowly.

Rs 32 prati din de India: Our wise men at the top think that only this much is enough to be “unpoor”.

Sachin de India: No matter how many records he makes, runs and centuries he scores, media coverage he gets, people still want more…

Thrash de India: What everyone wants to do to politicians nowadays.

Up de India: The government’s apparent slogan. Inflation, petrol prices, vegetable rates… everything seems to be going up.

Vote de India: The politician’s perpetual war cry.

Work de India: There is still a good number of unemployed in the land.

XXX de India: One of the most prudish nations of the world experiencing a sexual revolution?

Youth de India: Most of the posts are held by old fogies, when will the young take over? (No, we are not referring to Rahul Gandhi!)

Zzzzzz de India: In a developing and growing economy, everyone is overworked, stressed and starved of sleep.

© Sunil Rajguru

Sachin Mahashatak in Hollywood titles

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Damn99! … How Rampaul Stole the Mahashatak … The Day the Stadium Stood Still … Players of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Mahashatak … Close Encounters of the 99 Kind … Mission: Impossible 100 … Transformers: Turning 99 into 100 … The Lost World: Century Park … SRT and the Last Century Crusade … 99 is Not Enough … Catch the Mahashatak if You Can … Gone in 1 Ball … District 99… Mahashatak Wars: The Bowler Strikes Back … Dr. Shataklove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the 99th Century … Dial 100 for Nirvana …

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Some Sachin Mahashatak musings…

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∙ There’s many a slip between the 99th and 100th century.

∙ Like the Y2K problem, this is the 0.1K problem.
No-one has ever scored 100 international centuries so the counter keeps going to 00 after 99!
Someone up there better fix that counter fast!

∙ Here’s one record that Tendulkar will absolutely hate.
He’s already scored a quarter-century of international 90s.

∙ The Darren Sammy Catch had much more sting than the Sharad Pawar Slap.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru