Kohli-Kumble-CT musings

cricket-players-2027502_640Gavaskar fought with Kapil.
Kapil fought with Sachin.
Sachin fought with Azhar.
Ganguly fought with Chappell.
Kohli fought with Kumble.
Same old same old.

What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas.
Kohli—What happens in the dressing room, stays in the dressing room.

Kapil Vs Sachin Vs Azhar = Everyone quit as coach/captain.
Chappell Vs Ganguly = First Chappell went, then Ganguly.
Kumble Vs Kohli = Kumble quit.

Indian cricket has currently many masters…
BCCI.
Supreme Court.
CoA.
Sachin-Dada-Laxman panel.
Kohli.
Coach just went, but will be replaced.

Politics cut short…
Kapil’s coaching.
Sachin’s captaincy.
Chappell’s coaching.
Ganguly’s captaincy + career.
Dravid’s captaincy.
Kumble’s coaching.

Most Indian captains have at least one tournament final crash…
Kohli = 158 all down, 2017 CT.
Dhoni = 173 all down, 2008 Asia Cup.
Ganguly = 54 all down, 2000 Sharjah.
Jadeja = 168 all down, 1999 Pepsi Cup.
Azhar = 125 all down, 1999 Sharjah.
Kapil = 187 all down, 1986 Benson & Hedges.

Virat Kohli has 76% ODI wins as captain, unheard of in India.
In Tests he has a 16-3 W-L record.
No replacement in sight.
He’s captain till the 2019 ODI World Cup.

Fact of the day.
Yuvraj Singh, Harbhajan Singh and Virender Sehwag became the first players to win the ICC troika of ODI + T20 World Cups and Champions Trophy.
MS Dhoni joined them in 2013—the first as captain.
Kohli needs a T20 World Cup to join the club.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Indian Presidential election musings…

ballot-1294935_640The President’s post is a formality.
Kovind’s election is a formality.
Yet we are wasting so much time discussing it.

1947: Jagjivan Ram is Labour Minister.
70 years later…
2017: Jagjivan Ram’s daughter is candidate for President.
Congress: Doomed to live in the past.

1. DynasT.
2. LoyalT (to the DynasT of course).
The only 2 Ts that work in the Congress party.

It would have been great if Advani became either Prime Minister or President.
But he is already 89.
He should be happy that he saw a BJP 272+ mandate and BJP President in his lifetime.
He laid the foundations.

2014, Advani looks at Modi and thinks…
Kaash main hota!
2017, Advani looks at Kovind and thinks…
Kaash kam se kam yahi mujhe milta!

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

When Modi surprised everyone with Kovind

questions-1922476_640Past.
The entire media and liberal ecosystem didn’t have the foggiest idea that Modi would win.
Present.
The entire media and liberal ecosystem doesn’t have the foggiest idea what Modi is doing.

If the common man hasn’t heard of Ram Nath Kovind, it’s OK.
But for a journalist or politician to boast he or she hasn’t heard of a 2-time Rajya Sabha MP and national spokesperson turned Bihar Governor is quite ridiculous.

Modi aage kya karne waala hain, isko samajhna mushkil hi nahin, naamumkin hai.
#SurgicalStrike #DeMo #UPYogi #RamNathKovind

From 1947-2017, every President of India has either been Congress, ex-Congress or Independent.
#RamNathKovind set to make history.

BJP Lok Sabha.
BJP President.
BJP Vice President and Rajya Sabha chief.
Majority BJP+ States.
Modi is just getting started.

BJP Lok Sabha.
BJP President.
BJP Vice President and Rajya Sabha chief.
Majority BJP+ States.
Modi is just getting started.

Who should be the next President of India?
Best thing would be to introduce amendment to abolish this useless ceremonial post and save money.

The Right, the Left and the media

journalist-985075_640Every mainstream media analysis and opinion poll is virulently pro-Left and anti-Right.
In 2014 they said it was impossible for the Right (Modi) to get 272+ seats.
Failed prediction.
In 2015 they said the Right (Netanyahu) would lose.
Failed prediction.
In 2015 they said the Right (Cameron) would see a hopelessly hung Parliament or the Left (Labour) would inch ahead.
Failed prediction.
In 2016 they said the Right-leaning Brexit couldn’t happen.
Failed prediction.
In 2016 they said the Right (Trump) couldn’t win, some put his chances at below 1%!
Super failed prediction.
They got Macron right, but then mainland Europe heavily leans Left and you can’t get them wrong all the time!
Basically they see the chances of the Left and add 5-10% to that randomly and predict accordingly in order to influence the outcome.
That is why the mainstream media is dying.

Qatar has the most powerful Arab media house: Al Jazeera.
And yet it finds itself totally isolated in the Arab world.
Another example of how media has become a paper tiger.

Old media saying…
There is no Freedom of the Press in India.
There is only Freedom of the Proprietors of the Press.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

The tremendous bias against Trump…

donald-trump-2333743_640Bill Clinton was highly divisive.
The House of Representatives impeached him, but the Senate saved him.
George W Bush was highly divisive.
His opponents always called him an illegitimate President and said he lost 2000.
Barack Obama was highly divisive.
The Republicans hated him, the boisterous Tea Party couldn’t stand him and under him bipartisanship and race relations reached record lows.
Hillary Clinton is highly divisive.
Half the country absolutely abhors her.
Yet the international media keeps bandying about “divisive Trump” 24X7 as if it’s a title and something totally new.
That’s why the mainstream media is dying.

There has been great Political Climate Change in the post-Trump era and a severe Global Warming of Liberal-Left brains leading to their meltdown.

They impeached Bill Clinton.
They tried to impeach George W Bush.
They tried to impeach Obama.
They’re trying to impeach Trump.
Nothing new.

Those saying Comey is the biggest thing since Watergate forget that Bill Clinton was actually impeached by the House of Representatives in 1998, the second time such a thing happened in America’s 200+ year history.

In the nineteenth century, an American politician spelt coffee as kaughi.
Even now Trump is not everyone’s cup of covfefe.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Of exits and referendums…

westminster-1472807_640Going in circles…
2014: Scottish referendum.
2015: General elections.
2016: Brexit.
2017: General elections.
2018: Another Scottish referendum or general election or Brexit referendum?

So Spain joins in the party.
#CataloniaExit #CatExit
Europe seems to be steadily disintegrating.

2014: Scottish Exit fails.
2015: Cameron wins surprisingly.
Conservatives: Stability is boring. Kucch toofani karte hai!
2016: Brexit.
2017: Snap poll.
Bang! Hello darkness my old friend!

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

General political musings…

nehru-2361331_640Great great grandson of Motilal, great grandson of Nehru, grandson of Indira and son of Rajiv-Sonia blasts dynastic politics in Telangana.

With the way they are still being unearthed, if Modi wins in 2019, then I have a feeling that we will still be discussing UPA scams till 2024

Politics is the only place where education is irrelevant.
Delhi CM is an IITian.
Bihar Dy CM is 9th pass.
Both are equally useless.

1984: Rajiv takes charge.
1986: Bofors.
1999: Vajpayee re-elected.
2001: Operation West End.
2009: Manmohan re-elected.
2011: August Kranti.
Modi escapes 2-year itch.

In 1990 Lalu became Bihar Chief Minister and immediately brought in Jungle Raj and became the worst politician.
After 27 years he is still being “raided” and “charged” and ruling Bihar quite comfortably.

Tea Party kicked Angrez out of American politics.
Beef Party will kick out Congrez from Indian politics.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Dangal Baahubali musings…

film-2233656_6402017 beginning, zero Indian movies in Global 1000 box office list.
Now both Baahubali 2 and Dangal in Top 500.

Dangal made Rs 1000 crore in China.
Baahubali 2 is planning a big China launch.
Tubelight heroine is the Chinese Zhu Zhu.
2017 Bollywood’s year of “Hindi Chini” bhai bhai?

All time blockbuster Indian movie.
Hindi: Baahubali 2.
India: Baahubali 2.
US: Baahubali 2.
China: Dangal.
Worldwide: Dangal (Till Baahubali 2 is released in China).

Dangal joins the ¥1 Billion Club in China.
(That’s in the region of Rs 1000 crore)
P.S. Baahubali 2 releasing soon in China.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Baahubali musings…

cinema-2093264_640Baahubali 2 enters $Quarter-Billion Club.
(500 odd global movies in that club)

Aamir—Big Khan.
Salman—Middle Khan.
SRK—Little Khan.
#BoxOffice
Then there’s Baahubali!

Bahubali 2 + Dangal have crossed Rs 3000 crore worldwide.
That’s more than the lifetime gross of many Bollywood stars.

The times have changed…
Shah Rukh Khan’s last 5 movies…
Raees Rs 272 crore
+ Dear Zindagi Rs 139 crore
+ Fan Rs 188 crore
+ Dilwale Rs 389 crore
+ Happy New Year Rs 343 crore
= Rs 1331 crore
Baahubali 2 alone beats that.

After #Baahubali2, Bollywood should start releasing their movies dubbed simultaneously in regional and foreign languages.

#Baahubali2 makes Rs 100 crore in a day.
In the future it will be asked…
How many hours did this film take to join the Rs 100 crore club?

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

The truth about the Congress party…

india-1293882_640Netaji gave us Independence.
Patel unified India.
Shastri laid foundations of modern India.
Rao reformed economics and foreign policy.
#GandhiNehruSham

The man with no spine…
Rao: Bring in reforms.
Manmohan: Yes, sir.
Sonia: Destroy the country.
Manmohan: Yes, madam.

#RememberingRajiv
Bofors
Anti-Sikh riots
Bhopal tragedy
Shah Bano
LTTE mess
Defamation Bill
HDW scam
Black money
KGB links
Crony capitalism
Gift of Sonia to the nation

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Trump and media musings…

trump-2372132_640NYT: Never Yield to Trump.
CNN: Coup Now or Never.
BBC: Bring Back Clinton.

US media today…
According to anonymous sources, an anonymous person close to Trump has done an undisclosed thing that warrants his impeachment.

Tonnes of fake Trump revelations have come and gone.
That’s why when a real one will come, it too will go and not stick.

Today I have to do something that will start impeachment proceedings against Trump.
(What most American journalists think when they get up in the morning)

2015: He is not serious. Will withdraw.
2016: Can’t get nomination. Will lose.
2017: Will get impeached. Will resign.
#Trump

In the kangaroo courts of American media, Trump has already been impeached a 100 times.

If” Russia hacked elections.
It means…
1. Crime done on Obama’s watch.
2. Obama did nothing from November to January too.

2014-16: Fellowship of the Right.
Modi-Netanyahu-Brexit-Trump.
2017: Twin Towers of defeat: Wilders and Marine.
Coming soon…
Return of the Right.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Pakistan terror state musings…

pakistan-895319_640We lose one life, we outrage.
Pakistan loses thousands, they don’t even claim the bodies.
#AmanKiAsha for such a cruel enemy?

Pakistan has been training anti-India terrorists since the 1990s.
And here in the 2010s we are still merely debating it.

Pakistan’s non-stop covert-overt war with India will enter it’s 71st year soon.
We are still waiting for Godot.

In pursuit of Kashmir, Pakistan lost…
High ground in 1947.
East Pakistan in 1971.
Economic progress in 1990.
Peace in 2001.
What next?

Pakistan 0% wants Kashmir.
They want 100% destruction of India.
(That they will be completely destroyed in the process is a totally different story)

Pakistan is the weaker country.
Always the aggressor.
Yet it is India that behaves like the weaker country.
Kucch nahin ho sakta.

The biggest tragedy of 2001 for India was 5000+ dying in terrorism-Naxalism-Kashmir.
Yet most Indians still think it’s 9/11.

Pakistan.
Hame Kashmir chahiye!
East Pakistan gaya.
Hame Kashmir chahiye!
Economy gayi.
Hame Kashmir chahiye!
Aman-Shanti gayi.
Hame Kashmir chahiye!
Ab Balochistan etc bhi jaayega.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru