The Indian Lords of Twitter…

Here’s looking at some Indian Twitter millionaires who have emerged as the most followed in their particular field…

Bollywood: Amitabh Bachchan.
@SrBachchan, 20.7 million followers.
Amitabh made his filmi debut in 1969 and became a superstar in the 1970s. The Grand Old Man has been around for ages, but he is no fossil. He was one of the first people to jump on the blogging bandwagon and did it quite regularly. He is a regular Tweeter too and has notched close to 50,000 Tweets till date.

Politics: Narendra Modi.
@narendramodi, 19.6 million followers.
So the Indian Twitterverse produces its first ever Prime Minister. That may be a bit of a hyperbole, but Twitter has a big role in Modi’s rise to the top spot of India. No Indian politician comes close. (Many years ago @ShashiTharoor was the leader though). But more than anything is how Modi has used Twitter to fire his ambitions. He has connected with the young in social networking and Modi’s army regularly ReTweet him and fight for him. There are also handles which translate his Tweets into various Indian languages.

Spirituality: Dalai Lama.
@DalaiLama, 12.7 million followers.
The Dalai Lama came to India in 1959 and since then has been a resident here calling himself a “son of the soil”. His Tweets are inspiring and spread a great deal of goodwill and harmony. Incidentally, he is following exactly zero people. He was India’s leader till 2014 but since then has fallen way behind.

Official account: PMO India.
@PMOIndia: 11 million followers.
There was hardly any traction to this account when Manmohan Singh was in charge. However it has zoomed ahead after Modi took over. It’s also always buzzing with activity a sort of government news feed and a lit of achievements. On Twitter Modi + PMO amounts to 30 million plus followers!

Cricket: Sachin Tendulkar.
@sachin_rt, 10.7 million followers.
When Sachin joined Twitter, the Indian Twitterverse went berserk. He picked up tens of thousands of followers in no time. He soon became the first Indian to notch up 1 million followers. However since then many Bollywood stars have left him way behind. That’s probably because of his lacklustre form towards the end of his career and subsequent retirement. Sachin is erratic in his Tweets, but still writes enough to keep his die-hard fans engaged. Virat Kohli is close on his heels with 10.5 million followers.

PIO: Aziz Ansari.
@azizansari10.5 million followers.
Indian Americans are doing very well and on Twitter at least, Aziz is the clear leader. He has his roots in Tamil Nadu and is stand-up comedian who has been part of many tours. He has acted in many TV shows with the most prominent being Parks and Recreation. Aziz visited India a few years back and joked that he could act in a Tamil action movie. Indians may not be familiar with him but may have heard his voice in Hollywood movies like Ice Age: Continental Drift (Squint) and Epic (Mub).

News handle: The Times of India.
@timesofindia: 6.9 million followers.
India’s oldest newspaper and the English daily with the most circulation manages to hold its ground on Twitter too. With close to a quarter of a million Tweets, it continues to pull its weight in the Indian Twitterverse.

Authors: Chetan Bhagat.
@chetan_bhagat, 6.9 million followers.
You’ve got to hand it to Bhagat: Whether you like his books or not, he definitely has built himself as a big brand. Twitter plays an integral part in that. Out of all the celebrities, Bhagat is probably the most active and interactive. He never shies from controversies and his Tweets always make news. Once when he blocked a few people many years back, #ChetanBlocks became a top trend. His open support for Modi got him many bouquets and brickbats. AAP followers also keep attacking him from time to time.

Industrialists: Ratan Tata.
@RNTata2000, 6.1 million followers.
Everybody Loves Ratan Tata! In real life too and also on Twitter. This despite the fact that he’s hardly active on this medium. For ages it used to be @TheVijayMallya who is much more active but has since fallen on bad times.

Comedians: Kapil Sharma.
@KapilSharmaK9: 5.2 million followers.
Comedy Nights With Kapil saw a meteoric rise and its hero became one in Bollywood movies too. Kapil is a superstar in his own right and was a late entrant on Twitter (he came in June 2013), but he’s on top here too.

Worldwide…

Indians are rising in in the Global Top 100 list and we currently have Amitabh, Modi, Shah Rukh Khan, Salman Khan, Aamir Khan, Deepika Padukone, Priyanka Chopra and Hrithik Roshan. In mid-2014 from Bollywood there was only Amitabh, but with 7 more apart from him and more in the next 100, they are taking over Twitter! Priyanka has a great chance to go even further thanks to her exposure to the West.

While Ashton Kutcher narrowly went past CNN to become the first with 1 million followers, the landmarks of 10 million and 25 million were first breached by Lady Gaga.

The current leader is Katy Perry, the first to get 50 million followers, narrowly edging out Justin Bieber in the race for that landmark. She’s close to 88 million and must be eyeing the 100 million mark.

As far as the next Indian landmark is concerned, it remains to be seen who reaches 25 million followers first.

In terms of ReTweets, Ellen DeGeneresOscar selfie not only became the first to get 1 million ReTweets, but also crossed 3 million later on!

Modi’s victory Tweet got 80,000+ RTs.

© Sunil Rajguru

(This post first came on May 26, 2014. This is the updated version with a lot of changes.)

Some political musings…

Kanhaiya is Trainee Kejri.
Kejri is Trainee Lalu.
Lalu. Lalu Jr. Lalu Jr Jr. Pasand ‪#‎AdarshLiberals‬ ki!

It takes roughly ten thousand hours of practice to achieve mastery in any field.
—Malcolm Gladwell.
FYI, I’ve been an MP for more than one lakh hours now!
—Pappu.

Gandhi

They ask: When will we have a woman on Indian currency note.
I ask: When will we have any man other than the Mahatma?
Right now he’s on Rs 10 right through Rs 1000!

Isn’t it Odd that AAP ads concerning only Delhi are appearing Evenly all across every State in India?
AAP = Aam Aadmi Pays for these ads.

Congress sinking.
Bihar, WB, UP, Delhi in a mess.
Their verdict: Modi will lose 2019.

Whatever anti-Congress revelations are coming out post-2014, everyone knew anyway.
Therein lies the real tragedy.
‪#‎UPADebacle‬

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

RCB musings…

Photo0635

The “Challengers” in RCB is a problem.
For 8 seasons they’ve only been “challenging”, nothing else.
Make it Royal Champions Bengaluru.

When RCB bat second…
We can chase even 225 with 8 wickets to spare.
When RCB bat first…
Nothing less than 200 will do.
‪#‎IPL2016‬

RCB make…
160: Will lose.
180: Close match.
200: Might win.
220: If they bowl well, they’ll win.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Surge pricing began long back in India…

Cinema tickets…
1.5x to 2x (in black) after House Full board is put outside the cinema hall.
3x to 4x for superhit movies and those of superstars.

Photo0589

Auto rickshaw rates…
1.5x if the autowallah doesn’t feel like going.
2x to 3x at night.
4x to 5x during crises.

Vegetables and fruits…
2x to 3x depending on scarcity.
Onions went up to 10x in the past.

Railway tickets…
1.5x through touts.
Even Tatkal could be called a form of surge pricing.

Bringing in luxury goods in India till the 1980s…
2x to 10x depending on the whims of the customs department.

Government services…
1.5x to 5x depending on the difficulty of getting the service after including bribes.

© Sunil Rajguru

Shah Rukh Khan’s career through trilogies…

The Debut With Senior Citizen trilogy…
Deewana (1992) (Rishi Kapoor).
Chamatkar (1992) (Naseeruddin Shah).
Dil Aashna Hai (1992) (Jeetendra-Mithun).

The Bhootnike trilogy
Chamatkar (1992).
Paheli (2005).
Bhootnath (2008).

The Debuted and Soon Died Playing Villainous Role trilogy…
Baazigar (1993).
Darr (1993).
Anjaam (1994).

The Rakesh Roshan Mixed Bag trilogy…
King Uncle (1993).
Karan Arjun (1995).
Koyla (1997).

The Kajol Young Jodi Trilogy…
Karan Arjun (1995).
Dilwale Dulhania Le Jayenge (1995).
Kuch Kuch Hota Hai (1997).

The Aditya Chopra trilogy…
Dilwale Dulhania Le Jayenge (1995).
Mohabbatein (2000).
Rab Ne Bana Di Jodi (2008).

What He Acted In Those Films? trilogy…
Zamaana Deewana (1995).
Guddu (1995).
Chaahat (1996).

The Yash Chopra Romantic trilogy…
Dil To Pagal Hai (1997).
Veer-Zaara (2004).
Jab Tak Hai Jaan (2012).

The Karan Johar Fluffy Romance trilogy…
Kuch Kuch Hota Hai (1997).
Kabhi Khushi Kabhie Gham… (2001).
Kal Ho Naa Ho (2003).

The Aziz Mirza trilogy…
Yes Boss (1997).
Phir Bhi Dil Hai Hindustani (2000).
Chalte Chalte (2003).

The Serious Cinema Trilogy…
Aśoka (2001).
Swades (2004).
Chak De! India (2007).

The Kajol Oldie Jodi Trilogy…
Kabhi Khushi Kabhie Gham… (2001).
My Name Is Khan (2010).
Dilwale (2015).

The Farah Khan Mindless Superhit trilogy…
Main Hoon Na (2004).
Om Shanti Om (2007).
Happy New Year (2014).

The Major trilogy…
Main Hoon Na (2004).
Veer Zaara (2004). (Major equivalent Squadron Leader)
Jab Tak Hai Jaan (2012).

The Deepika Padukone Mindless Blockbuster trilogy…
Om Shanti Om (2007).
Chennai Express (2013).
Happy New Year (2014).

The Playing a Superstar Like Himself trilogy…
Om Shanti Om (2007).
Billu (2009).
Fan (2016).

© Sunil Rajguru

Nehru—The great collapser…

This autocratic leader’s fake consensus collapsed in the 1950s.

His war machinery collapsed in 1962.

His socialist economy collapsed in 1991.

His best friend USSR collapsed in 1991.

His Dynasty started collapsing from 2014.

His Congress started collapsing from 2014.

His #AdarshLiberals started collapsing from 2014.

In fact his entire legacy started collapsing from 2014.

© Sunil Rajguru

The #PanamaPapers

Panama canal: A conduit to carry black money.
Panama disease: A financial disease involving offshoring.
Panama hat: Income Tax department ko topi pahanana with offshoring firms.
Panama cocktail: To mix white and black money in your financials.

1996: The Tailor of Panama.
20 years later…
1996: The Launderer of Panama.

Hamaam main sab nanga goes international.

Picchle saalo main itna leak ho chuka hai ki samundar bhar gaya hai, par mushkil se boond bhar arrests hi hue hai.

Looks like a lot of people are more interested in shouting Panama Mata ki Jai.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

#BharatMataKiJai @ #NITSrinagar

The irony…
JNU students raised anti-India slogans and were arrested after due procedure.
NIT students raised pro-India slogans and were beaten up.

BJP leaders goofing up day in and day out. Alarming part is that they still look dazzlingly brilliant when compared to AAP-Congress leaders.

New term: “Mild lathi charge”.
Was the lathi mild?
Was the police charge mild?
Did they hit the students mildly?
‪#‎NITSrinagar‬

Bharat tere tukde honge = FoE = Freedom of Expression.
Bharat Mata ki Jai = FoE = Fascism of Extremists.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

The latest round of Modi musings…

Supporters of Sonia: Neutral.
Supporters of Kejri: Neutral.
Supporters of Lalu: Neutral.
Supporters of Modi: Fill in blanks with expletives.

Who is greater? Sachin or Kohli? At least that’s a debate.
What of ‪#‎AdarshLiberals‬ who still think Pappu-Kejri-Kanhaiya each is greater than Modi?

Pappu will challenge Modi! (44 LS seats)
No Kejri will challenge Modi! (4 LS seats)
Errr Kanhaiya will challenge Modi! (CPI 1 LS seat)

The man* who does things makes many mistakes, but he never makes the biggest mistake of all: Doing nothing**!
—Benjamin Franklin
*Modi **MMS

Media…
Before: Don’t put caste or religion in headline, makes it look bad.
Now: Don’t put caste or religion in headline, unless it makes Modi look bad.

Modi to launch Stand Up India.
Pappu launched Stand Up Comedy India many years back.

Most ‪#‎OpinionPolls‬ in…
2002: Modi will lose.
2004: NDA will win.
2007: Modi will lose.
2009: UPA-NDA neck and neck, UPA slightly ahead.
2012: Hung Assembly in UP.
2014: BJP will not get 272.
2015: Some polls said Mahagatbandhan would win clearly. Some said NDA would win clearly. One gave such a range that MGB win, NDA win and hung Assembly was in a single poll!
Yet we fall for them every time.
Every single time!
#99%Failure

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Political musings of the day…

Lalu is India’s worst politician.
Kejri is Junior Lalu.
Kanhaiya is Junior Kejri.

India—Pappu se chahiye azaadi.
Bihar—Lalu se chahiye azaadi.
WB—Jungle Raj se chahiye azaadi.
JNU—Kanhaiya se chahiye azaadi.

The Rolling Stones debuted when Nehru was Prime Minister.
With the way they’re going, they might be performing even (if and) when Nehru’s great grandson becomes PM.

Nitish…
P for Prohibition.
P for Peace.
Jungle Raj criminal…
B for Bihar.
B for Bootlegging.

Lalu ne Bihar ki waat laga di.
Ab gham main daru bhi nahin pee sakte wahan ke log!
‪#‎JungleRajWithProhibition‬

Empty vessels (bartan) make loud noise.
Pori-bartan makes even louder noise with its empty promises.
‪#‎WBPolls2016‬

Congress totally destroyed West Bengal by 1977.
Since then, for the last 39 years, it has been “Under Construction”.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

#2016T20WorldCup musings

Glory days of West Indies cricket of the 1970s-80s in ODIs and Tests won’t return, but they’ve come back at least in international T20s!

Dhoni has been doing unconventional things for 9 years.
With that he’s won 3 ICC Trophies and 2 Asia Cups.
So you can’t say that he’s gone wrong suddenly.

Sehwag didn’t get his 3rd Test triple.
Dhoni isn’t getting his 3rd World Cup.
But Rohit will get his 3rd ODI double.

1975-Hockey-Indira.
1983-ODI-Indira.
2007-T20-Manmohan.
2011-ODI-Manmohan.
All 4 World Cups under Congress Prime Ministers.

1983 World Cup final…
183 in 60 overs enough with West Indies.
2016 World Cup semi-final…
192 in 20 overs not enough with West Indies.

1979—Eng-WI final.
Since then from 1983-2015 all World Cup (ODI + T20) finals (14 in all) had at least one team from Australasia
Full circle…
2016—Eng-WI final.

Greatest fighter: Bruce Lee.
Greatest villain: Christopher Lee.
Greatest cricketer: Virat Koh Lee.

Teacher…
Every day is not a Sunday.
Kohli…
Every day is an MC-BC chakka-chauka maaro day.

Kohli ko neend main se utha ke bat thama do to fir bhi kisiko bhi 6 maarega.

The England riddle…
Great Test and T20 team.
Rubbish ODI team.

Sachin was declared a better batsman than Gavaskar.
ODIs had a great role in that.
Kohli will surpass Sachin.
iT20s will ensure that.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

March 2016 Status Updates

Strange…
The foreign media appears more shocked over the protests against the terror attacks rather than the attacks themselves.
‪#‎Brussels‬

(March 28)

Yesterday…
This is life. We are all just passing time here.
Today…
This is the Internet. We are all just passing time here.

(March 27)

You don’t need a Home Page any more.
A website can post just links of its articles via social media and still go viral and get a zillion hits.

(March 26)

No one ever really dies on X-Files.
Afridi never really retires.

If Tintin was a real person, he would go after all the terrorists and catch them one by one.
He wouldn’t be crying like that cartoon which went viral.
‪#‎Brussels‬

(March 25)

Pakistan’s golden age with cricket against India started with Miandad’s last ball 6 in Sharjah in 1986 and ended with the 1992 World Cup loss at Sydney.

(March 20)

English schoolkids wore ties.
Indians copied them.
Most English schoolkids stopped wearing ties.
Indian schoolkids still wear them.
(Despite India being much hotter than UK!)

Madame Tussauds made a statue of Manmohan Singh but it was immediately transferred to another Madam who used it to run the nation for 10 years.

(March 19)

The Left may kill a million and at the same time scream from the rooftops over an alleged unproven act of violence by their opponents.
‪#‎LeftistTerror‬

Ministers make editorial changes in their documents.
Editors make political changes in their reports.
‪#‎Ishrat‬

We are exercising our FoE¹.
—Kanhaiya and students.
We are also exercising our FoE².
—JNU authorities.
¹=Freedom of Expression.
²=Freedom of Expulsion.

(March 15)

They should just rename the Newshour to APL or Arnab Premier League.
Arnab wins every time.
Other 10 participants to battle for Runners Up trophy.

(March 12)

Maal-laaya.
Maal-liya.
Maal-le gaya.

RJ: Rich Joke
MCJ: Middle Class Joke
PJ: Poor Joke
RPJ: Really Poor Joke
BPLJ: Below Poverty Line Joke
DCJ: Destitute Class Joke

The exact yoctosecond you were born, you held the world record for being the youngest human being on Earth.

(March 10)

SWAK = Sealed With A Kiss.
SWAS = Sealed With A Six.
‪#‎Dhoni‬ ‪#‎AsiaCup‬ ‪#‎6KaBadshaah‬

(March 7)

These versions by Sunil Rajguru