Monthly Archives: April 2010

The Social Butterfly Effect…

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The Butterfly Effect
The flapping of a butterfly’s wings in Brazil can set off a tornado in Texas.

The Social Butterfly Effect
The flapping of a social butterfly’s wings in Dubai can set off a political tornado in India.

Explanation
A social butterfly flaps her wings in Dubai.
Gets sweat equity in a club cricket team in Kochi.
Leads to the resignation of the Minister of State for External Affairs.
Makes a Maharashtrian central minister squirm along with his colleagues.
Results in unprecedented Income Tax raids at the offices of the premier cricket body.
Checkmates a high-flying cricket club league chairman and commissioner.
Has industrialists scrambling for records of agreements and bids.
Brings to light government eavesdropping on the high and mighty of the land.
Gets the political Opposition screaming and shouting, only to fall flat on a Cut Motion.
Puts the Queen of Uttar Pradesh and the Queen of India together at last.
Ends up in making a Jharkhand politician forget which side he is voting for.
Infuriates a leading political party into withdrawing support to the forgetful politician.
…
Itna political tornado kaafi nahin kya?
…but the effects are still being felt and will be felt for some more time…

© Sunil Rajguru

1000 corrupt politicians sitting on the wall…

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1000 corrupt politicians sitting on the wall,
1000 corrupt politicians sitting on the wall,
And if one corrupt politician should accidentally fall,
There’ll be 1001 corrupt politician sitting on the wall.

1001 corrupt politicians sitting on the wall,
1001 corrupt politicians sitting on the wall,
And if one corrupt politician should accidentally fall,
There’ll be 1002 corrupt politician sitting on the wall.

1002 corrupt politicians sitting on the wall,
1002 corrupt politicians sitting on the wall,
And if one corrupt politician should accidentally fall,
There’ll be 1003 corrupt politician sitting on the wall…

Notes:

1. For every corrupt politician who is exposed or caught in India, two take his place thereafter.
2. India has been playing this game since 1947.
3. If you pay good salaries, you may or may not get corrupt politicians.
If you pay abysmally low salaries, you will definitely get near 100% corruption.
Our founding fathers chose the second option.
Post-1991, the private sector is competing with the world, while the average Indian politician compares nowhere with his Western counterpart.
4. If you pay peanuts, you get monkeys.
If you pay peanuts to politicians, then you get a monkey political system where the common man ends up being the real monkey.

This Version By Sunil Rajguru

Ring a-ring o’ roses Cricket League

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(When two elephants fight on the cricketing grass, both slip and fall down and flatten Indian cricket)

Ring a-ring o’ roses,
Pocketsful of paisa.
a-tishoo!, a-tishoo!.
They both fall down.

Brand name in the water,
Brand name in the sea,
Will it all righten up…
With a one-two-three?

Picking up the pieces,
picking up the pieces,
Atishoo!, Atishoo!
We all cover up.

Ring a-ring o’ roses,
Pocketsful of paisa.
a-tishoo!, a-tishoo!.
And cricket falls down…

This Version By Sunil Rajguru

IPL ki Paatshala, Masti ki Paatshala…

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Please sing to the tune of Loose Control from Rang de Basanti…

Lost control,
Lost control,
One more time,
Indian cricket’s lost control.

IPL’s a rebel,
IPL’s a rebel.

Na koi poochne wala, na koi check karne wala,
Na koi rokne wala, na koi hisaab lene wala,
Apni to paatshala, masti ki paatshala,
IPL ki paatshala, masti ki paatshala.

Lost control!

Paise ki boriyan hain, ham woh khaane aate hai,
Ye IPL hain sabki mobile money factory,
Deals ka equation hain, gadbad ka multiplication hain,
Jisne sabko lapeta hain,
Woh game hara, paisa jeeta hain,
Woh game hara, paisa jeeta hain,
Woh game hara, paisa jeeta hain.

Lost control,
Lost control,
One more time,
Indian cricket’s lost control.

IPL’s a rebel.

Talli hoke girne se samjhi cricketing economy,
Iska practical kiya tab bana IPL ka reality,
Na koi poochne wala, na koi check karne wala,
Naata ye cricket, politics, bollywood aur industry ka lamba hain,
Har dil dakh dakh kar raha hain ab dar se…
Na koi rokne wala, na koi hisaab lene wala,
Apni to paatshala, masti ki paatshala,
IPL ki paatshala, masti ki paatshala.

IPL’s a rebel.
Lost control!

Spoof By Sunil Rajguru

(Original song: Paatshaala
Film: Rang De Basanti
Year: 2006)

Overheard… IPL Chapter

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Where’s the star reporter?
Covering the IPL…
Where’s the local reporter?
IPL matches shifted out of city, looking into that.
Where’s the business reporter?
Multi-billion dollar IPL industry, business leaders, I-T raids…
Where’s the international affairs reporter?
Australian, English, Pakistan boards keenly looking at the IPL crisis…
Where’s the environment reporter?
Some green initiatives announced by IPL got buried…
Where’s the film reporter?
SRK premises raided, Preity promises to talk…
What about other news?
Is there any other news happening? Oh yeah, Sania is landing in Pakistan! Our Pakistan correspondent will handle that one!

***

Hey you’re back from the stadium!
Yeah it was awesome!
B…
Wow those cheerleaders sure are hot!
Bu…
I saw SRK, Juhi and Preity in the crowds. Great man!
But…
They’ve really made a great giant screen.
But w…
3 sixes actually went out of the stadium.
But wh…
You saw the dug-out. Players and head honchos…
But who…
Firecrackers. Music. The atmosphere is electric.
But who won?
Eh? Hmmm. I don’t remember!

***

Regular speaker: I’m going to have a nervous breakdown. So busy.
Why what happened?
4 chat shows, 7 interviews on 8 news channels in 24 hours! I don’t know how much longer I can handle this IPL crisis!

***

Minister: We’re thinking of having IPL-style premier leagues for all Indian sports!
Official: Why? Do you want corruption, sleaze, controversy and hungama to spread to all the other sports too?

***

Mate, I think I’ll be retiring soon!
Why?
Do you think the IPL will last? There may be no IPL4. I’ll be out of a job…

***

© Sunil Rajguru

Random Thoughts 15

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How many controversies nowadays start with:
In the beginning was the Tweet.

To put the old joke in reverse, who would have thought that with Twitter, you could have a constipation of words along with a diarrhoea of ideas.

I think the good ole Barney Song can be suitably modified to suit Facebook:
I Like you,
You Like me,
We’re all friends like friends should be,
With a great big Comment,
And a Poke from me to you,
Won’t you say you Like me too?

This Version By Sunil Rajguru