Many a slip between the Lokpal Bill and Act…

The Lokpal Bill was presented in Parliament in 1968.

Since then… man walked on the moon, Pakistan was split into two, India and Pakistan became nuclear powers, the PC entered households, BJP created, an Indian entered space, the Russian Communist Empire collapsed, we entered the Internet age, 9/11 happened, India saw 10 more people become PMs, an African American became US President, Anna Hazare brought India to a standstill over the Lokpal Bill, Sachin debuted and scored his 1st and 100th international century and retired, India launched Mars probe…

Alternatively…

When the Lokpal Bill was presented in Parliament, Anna Hazare was in the army.

Since then… Anna served in the 1971 war, quit service, transformed his village Ralegan Siddhi, started a Grain Bank, launched many anti-corruption movements in Maharashtra, was jailed in Yerawada (Pune), got State ministers indicted, spearheaded RTI movement in State, helped pass Act stopping arbitrary transfers of officials, launched a campaign against Pawar, spearheaded August Kranti, was jailed in Tihar, saw the launch and electoral success of the Aam Aadmi Party…

Though some things never change…

In 1968 Pappu didn’t have any achievements because he wasn’t born.
In 2013 Pappu still doesn’t have any achievements.

Theme song…
Aayega aayega aayega aayega Lokpal ek din, aayega..

© Sunil Rajguru

More Arvind Kejriwal musings…

Debut: KejriWah!
For BJP in Delhi: KejriWall.
Power promises: KejriWatt.
For Anna Hazare: KejriWar.
In case of repoll: KejriWas?

Jab Anna-Cong-BJP raazi, to kya karega Kejri?
#Lokpal

Anna Hazare: Pahale aap bahut acche the, abhi AAP bahut boore hai.
Arvind Kejriwal: aap ka kasoor nahin hai, par AAP ka kasoor hai.

AAP ka BAAP (BJP + Anna Agitation + Pappu).
#Lokpal

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Arvind Kejriwal musings…

Avtomat Kalashnikova 1947: AK-47.
Avtomat Kalashnikova 1956: AK-56.
Arvind Kejriwal 2013: AK-13.

Then: Advani an alternative to Modi!
Now: Advani, who?
Then: Pappu an alternative to Modi!
Now: Pappu, ha ha!
Then: Nitish an alternative to Modi!
Now: Bihar bhi jar aha hai.
Latest: Kejriwal an alternative to Modi!

Jab Anna-Cong-BJP raazi, to kya karega Kejri?
#Lokpal

In retrospect, we now have August Kranti (Anna) and August Kranti (Kejriwal) agitations of 2011.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Contemporary Knock Knock Jokes 17

Knock Knock.
Who’s there?
Laxman.
Laxman who?
Lax man the judicial system is, but the conviction finally came!

Knock Knock.
Who’s there?
Lokpal.
Lokpal who?
Look politicians will keep scuttling the bill again and again!

Knock Knock.
Who’s there?
AMS.
AMS who?
MMS ke baad AMS, that’s what!

Knock Knock.
Who’s there?
Modi.
Modi who?
Muddy his name is still to some despite all the development and international accolades.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

2012 New Year Musings…

∙ All the politicians of all the political parties in India have wished each other an extremely happy new year by soundly trashing the Lokpal Bill…
“No Lokpal! Happy New Year!”

∙ Cyclone Thane has wished South India a very Wet and Windy New Year.

∙ I would have wished all my fellow Indians a scam-free new year, but for all practical purposes it will be just another Scammy New Year!

∙ In 1752, the calendar went straight from September 3 to 13 to adjust the calendar.
Protest the lost days!
Celebrate New Year on January 12!

2011: The Year of The Lemon

After looking at all the implications of the events that took place in the year, it has been decided to name 2011 as the “Year of The Lemon”.

That’s because while everybody was celebrating the many changes that were taking place, in effect nothing really changed.

(Other names suggested were The Year of the Kela and the Year of the Bakra)

A look at the lemony series of unfortunate events…

1. The Lokpal Lemon: Anna Hazare fasted. His team fumed. Lakhs protested. Millions cheered in their living rooms. Parliament united in August. The result? No Lokpal Act by December 31!

2. The Arab Spring Lemon: People thundered and kicked out the dictators. But who’s coming in their place? Inexperienced fundamentalist parties! Take Egypt: Revolution 1: Kick out the British. Revolution 2: Kick out monarch. Revolution 3: Kick out the dictator. Revolution 4: Coming soon in the future for complete democracy?

3. Cricket Team Lemon: India won the World Cup after 28 years. But no time to celebrate. No victory parades. Immediately play IPL and get fatigued and injured and get thrashed in England. Crash in Melbourne too. Do we really feel like champs?

4. The Sachin Tendulkar Lemon: It’s so glorious to score 99 international centuries. However most fretted and fumed over the 1 century that was not scored for 10 odd months.

5. The Europe Lemon: Heads of states were sacked. But do the new leaders have magic wands to solve the grave financial crisis?

6. The Kudankulam Lemon: Construction on the nuclear plant began in 1997. So what changed in 2011? Fukushima in Japan! So how does that affect Kudankulam?

7. The Mullaperiyar Lemon: The dam is more than 100 years old. So what changed in 2011? A movie called Dam999. Eh?

8. The Andhra Pradesh Lemon: AP won the maximum number of Lok Sabha seats for the Congress in 2009. The reward? In 2011, the Centre fiddled while Telangana was burning!

Of course, most of the events spill into the next year, so there is still time to make lemonade and 2012 could well be The Year of the Lemonade!

© Sunil Rajguru