#Demaunetization: When the silent one spoke!

If Einstein was alive, he would have said of Manmohan…
Generations to come will scarce believe that such a one as this ever in flesh and blood walked upon this earth without a spine.

Sonia released Robot 1.0 in 2004, it ran till 2009.
Sonia released Robot 2.0 in 2009, it ran till 2014.
Even Rajinikanth can’t beat that!

Manmohan as The Trinity…
1991-96: The Creator.
2004-09: The Preserver.
2009-14: The Destroyer.

Manmohan Singh taught me…
1. Money doesn’t grow on trees.
2. #TheekHai.
3. In the end we are all dead.

Modi doesn’t know what he’s saying before a speech.
(Because it’s extempore.)
Manmohan also doesn’t know what he’s saying before a speech.
(Because someone else has written it and he’s given it at the last moment.)

His multiple choices …
a) First Manmohan Singh became Economist.
b) Second he became Bureaucrat.
c) Third he became Politician.
d) Finally he became “None of the Above”.

SINGH is King!
S = Spectrum, coal and many other scams.
I = Internet Emergency.
N = No spine whatsoever.
G = Gayab. (Awaaz, governance, etc…)
H = Home and abroad both equal failures.

A movie on Manmohan Singh’s life would be called O.H.M.S.
On Her Majesty’s Service.
He has been serving the Dynasty and not the nation since 1998.

Everyone knew Manmohan was a tubelight.
He started speaking about 2004-14 misrule only in 2016.

The problem with watching Manmohan Singh’s speech is that I funnily get the feeling that any time now he’s going to burst into tears.

Manmohan Singh…
The only man to have given 1300 official speeches and still said nothing.

Sanjaya Baru calls Manmohan Singh an accidental Prime Minister.
Par accident to India ka hua na?
MMS = Minion of Madam Sonia.

Madam: #Demonetization kaisa hai?
Puppet: #TheekHai!
Madam: Kya!!! Aaj RS main blast karna hai!
Puppet: #TheekHai! (I’ll just describe UPA)

Even at the age of 84, after his speech he’ll have to go to her and say…
Madam! Main theek bola na? Aap khush to ho na?

Under the Manmohan regime, crooks freely converted white money to black with impunity.
He’s upset it’s all being undone by #Demonetization.

Manmohan Singh: The Father of Polinomics.
Half (Politicize economics)
+ Half (Economize politics)
= Zero.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

How Oxbridge (Oxford + Cambridge) totally destroyed India…

oxford-2368748_640Manmohan Singh: Worst Prime Minister in India’s history. Most spineless. Masterminded inaction. Presided over the most corrupt government in Independent India’s history.
Alma Mater: Oxford. Cambridge.

Jawaharlal Nehru: First Prime Minister laid down totally useless economic and foreign policy foundations that went bankrupt in decades. Established an intolerant Communist Coterie that calls the shots to this very day.
Alma Mater: Cambridge.

Indira Gandhi: The only Indian leader to have imposed dictatorship (Emergency) in India.
Alma Mater: Oxford.

Fakhruddin Ali Ahmed: The President who signed the above Emergency proclamation without a second thought.
Alma Mater: Oxford.

Rajiv Gandhi: Took intolerance and coterie to a new level and Bofors still remains arguably the biggest scam brand. Squandered the greatest Lok Sabha mandate ever.
Alma Mater: Cambridge.

Rahul Gandhi: One of the worst Prime Ministerial candidates around who could still make PM in the future.
Alma Mater: Cambridge.

Lord Curzon: Implemented the Partition of Bengal, the ultimate Divide and Rule trick which laid the foundations for communal tensions and the eventual Partition of India.
Alma Mater: Oxford.

Mani Shankar Aiyar: India’s greatest political Sycophant and the greatest lackey of the Nehru-Gandhi Dynasty.
Alma Mater: Cambridge.

Salman Khurshid: India’s worst Foreign Minister.
Alma Mater: Oxford.

© Sunil Rajguru

Manmohan Singh and Narendra Modi are same to same…

Manmohan and Modi did the same number of foreign trips in a year.
The former’s trips were just formalities however.

Manmohan and Modi gave the same number of official speeches in a year.
You just didn’t hear the former however.

Manmohan and Modi both worked in office all day.
The former just worked like a glorified clerk and not a CEO however.

Manmohan and Modi both didn’t take money.
The former allowed everyone else to take but.

Manmohan (2009) and Modi (2014) both won mandates for their party.
The former handed it on a platter to Pappu but.

Manmohan and Modi both sat on the nation’s highest chair.
The former handed over the authority to someone else but.

© Sunil Rajguru

Whatever happens, Manmohan is Mr Clean, OK?

When a fake story of a PM wearing a Rs 10 lakh suit came, tremendous outrage.
When a real story came of a PM causing a loss of Rs 2 lakh crore—well that’s OK!

Corrupt (adjective): Having or showing a willingness to act dishonestly in return for money or personal gain.
(Sticking on to PM’s chair = Personal gain.)
Usage: Manmohan Singh is corrupt to the core.

CWG scam—Off with Kalmadi!
2G scam—Off with Raja!
Coalgate—Err… ummm… the Coal Minister/Prime Minister is such a sweet fellow na?

Bolo Manmohan beta, C for Coalgate.
Manmohan: Nahin! C for Clean chit from madam. So there!

Pahele chori. (UPA2’s Coalgate, 2G, CWG, etc etc etc)
Fir seena zori. (‪#‎MarchForManmohan‬ ‪#‎IStandWithMMS‬)

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Latest Indian political musings…

The 71-0 rule…
71% illegal coal block allocations took place under Coal Minister Manmohan Singh and yet most news reports gave him 0% coverage.

Sequels are rarely better than the original.
Pappu: But we had planned a threequel where I was to come at the end!
‪#‎UPA1‬ ‪#‎UPA2‬ ‪#‎UPA3‬‬‬‬

Very soon, all Indian bookshops will have a separate section on UPA exposes.
‪#‎Baru‬ ‪#‎Parakh‬ ‪#‎Natwar‬ ‪#‎Rai‬‬‬‬‬

Advani looked retired in 2004.
Virtually retired in 2005.
Should have retired in 2009.
Looks fully retired in 2014.
‪#‎2019Polls‬ ‪#‎IllBeBack‬‬‬

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

The end of Manmohan Singh’s Prime Ministerial term…

The story of Manmohan’s power as Prime Minister…
A 10-year-long power cut.

After May 16…
Manmohan to Modi: Can I continue hanging out at the PMO? Nobody ever notices me anyway.

Time to declare Manmohan the most powerful statue ever in our history and build a statue in the statue’s honour.

Manmohan: How will history remember me?
Citizen: Remember? Most of the times we forgot we even had a Prime Minister for the last 10 years!

The 10-year-term of the most power-fool leader in India’s history is coming to an end on May 16.

Sigh! My 10 years paid vacation is coming to an end.
#MMS #TheekHai

These versions by Sunil Rajguru