When India chased 350+ with Australia, again!

Aussie jugalbandi…
Batsmen: Aaj phir jeene ki tamanna hai!
Bowlers: Aaj phir marne ka iraada hai!

PJ of the day…
Hamne ek virat score khada kiya hai: Aussies.
Hamne Virat ko hi khada kar diya: Indians.

Kohli ke khilaaf 300 ko defend karna mushkil hi nahi namumkin hai.
Iska hal saare mulko ke coaches dhoond rahe hain.

Aussie fielders Darr gaye and the bowling stuttered…
I hate you K… K… K… K… Kohli.

The series is now tied at 2-2-2.
In Bengaluru, rain always has the advantage.

Batting ke Shikhar par ek Dhanwaan baitha hua hai.

Indian bowling….
Isssshhhhhh! Sharma ke bina bhi sharma raha hai!

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Why you can’t “punish” an Indian politician…

It’s tough to catch an Indian politician committing a crime.

If caught, tougher to chargesheet him.

If chargesheeted, even tougher to convict him.

If convicted, even more tough to uphold conviction in all higher courts.

Finally, even if the Supreme Court convicts him, then all he has to do his convert his prison cell into a virtual hotel room and bide his time to enjoy a relaxed retired life with all that black money.

In all of this where’s the punishment and where’s the reform?

So the question is, why won’t an Indian politician scam, loot, murder and be super arrogant?

© Sunil Rajguru

Raaj karega Pappu…

India invented the Zero.
Then it re-invented it with Pappu.

Advisor: Every time you open your mouth, we lose 1000 votes.
Pappu: So what do I do now?
Advisor: No problem. You reached zero long back. There’s no negative voting, so lage raho Pappubhai!

The man who is writing Pappu’s speeches is killing him.
If he writes his own speeches then it’s a case of suicide.

In 2009, most constituencies Pappu visited voted for the Congress.
In 2014, most constituencies Pappu will visit will never vote for Congress ever again.

Pappu just gave his greatest speech ever on TV channels.
(Since there was no audio, no-one could quite find any fault with it)

Pappu has set the bar so low for himself that if he becomes PM, then his every little achievement will be celebrated with pomp.
Nice strategy!

Q: Pradhan Mantra kaisa ho?
A: Narendra Modi jaisa ho!
Q: Aur Pradhan Mantra kaisa na ho?
A: Pappu.

Diggy Raja’s foot partially eclipsed his mouth.
If Pappu becomes PM, eclipse will be total!

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

The Chief Minister’s Speech…

In terms of drawing crowds at rallies at least, Modi is a Lakhpati.
Now he has to be a Crorepati at the ballot boxes to come to power.

Blockbuster of 2010…
The King’s Speech.
Blockbuster of 2013-14…
The Chief Minister’s Speech.

Most pro-Modi trolls are anonymous goodness knows who people.
Most anti-Modi trolls are public (and allegedly responsible) figures.

Use Feku kahate hai kyunki usne Pappu ke PM chances ko totally fek diya.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Pappu will probably boast next…

My great great grandfather founded Congress.

My great grandfather founded India.

My grandmother founded Bangladesh.

My uncle founded the Indian automobile industry.

My father founded the Computer Age.

My mother founded a poverty free India.

I will found Paradise.

The next Nehru-Gandhi generation will found Heaven itself.

© Sunil Rajguru