Congress crisis musings…

If you support Kejri, you are an honest sincere human being.
If you support Pappu you are neutral.
But if you support Modi you are communal, Fascist and irrational.

Congress workers renamed a toilet after Rishi Kapoor under the following scheme…
Rajiv Gandhi Shauchalya Ka Naam Badlo Yojana.

Modi approval ratings 2014-19…
Aam junta: 2/3rds approve.
‪#‎AdarshLiberals‬: 2/300ths approve.

The Congress Priyanka ‪#‎2019Polls‬ dilemma…
Get her in too soon and she gets exposed.
Get her late and voters already decided to give Modi second term.

A severe Congress reshuffle would mean…
Senior President: Sonia.
Senior Vice President: Rahul.
Junior Vice President: Priyanka.
Mascot: Vadra.

In 2009 they told us Sonia best bet for India.
In 2014 they told us Mera Pappu Mahaan.
In 2019 they’ll say Priyanka greatest ever.

Congress then…
How can Amitabh share the stage with a person like Modi!
Now…
How can Modi share the stage with a person like Amitabh!

I am ready to die for Sonia.
I pledge allegiance to Sonia.
Madamji at your feet.
Arundhati isn’t an independent and mobile republic, Sonia is!

Madhavrao Scindia-Rajesh Pilot left us.
Pranabda is Prez.
No really strong Chief Minister.
Let’s face it. Pappu’s still the best bet.

1885-1920: Indian National Congress
1920-48: Congress (Mahatma)
1948-66: Congress (Nehru)
1966-2014: Congress (Indira)
2014-__: Congress (Pappu)

Dare to think beyond Dynasty?
Sonia should retire. Who should take over?
Pappu!
But Pappu has failed.
Priyanka?
Kucch naya socho!
Vadra?

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Really bad governance musings…

Congress unleashed violence on CPM.
CPM unleashed violence on Trinamool.
Trinamool unleashing violence on BJP.
Looks like the way to pass on power.
BJP looks good for 2021.

Reduce power bills.
Mismanage to ensure power cuts.
Penalize power cos and compensate consumers.
In the process run out of both electricity and money.
‪#‎Kejri‬

Emergency protests produced some politicians worse than Indira’s lackeys.
2011 protests produced some politicians worse than Sonia’s lackeys.

Emergency protests.
Campus protests.
Anti-corruption protests.
They all end up being political recruitment camps.

Lalu-Rabri created the Jungle Raj of 1990-2005.
They loved him then, so why will they condemn Nitish-Lalu’s Jungle Raj 2?
‪#‎JungleRaj2‬

2015: Choose AAP, Save Delhi.
2020: By the time AAP is finished choosing its nonsense strategies, Delhi will be in need of saving.
2017: Choose AAP, Save Goa…

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Yet more RCB IPL musings…

Ashes to ashes and dust to dust.
If Gayle don’t get you, Kohli must.
If Kohli should fall, ABD will make you go bust.
#Qualifier1

Gayle gaya. Kohli gaya. Watson gaya. Rahul gaya. Binny gaya. Baby gaya.
ABD: Picture abhi baaki hai mere dost!
#Qualifier1

Sau sonaar ki, ek lohaar ki.
‪#‎IPL‬ ‪#‎RCB‬…
Teen sau sonaar ki, teen lohaar ki.
‪#‎Gayle‬ ‪#‎Kohli‬ ‪#‎ABD‬

Bengaluru boy/girl: Say the 3 magic words!
‪#‎RCB‬ fan: Say the 3 magic letters…
A B D !

Other players…
Gotta try to keep asking rate below 10 runs an over.
ABD…
I am in control till asking rate is upto 16 runs an over.

ABD and RCB bowlers finally telling Kohli…
Tu kucch jyaada hi batting kar liya boss!
Ab thoda araam karle!
#Qualifier1

How do we stop Gayle?
Gayle out of form. So now how do we stop ABD?
Before you sort out ABD, Kohli goes berserk.
And then Gayle comes back in form!

There should be a Yellow Cap or something for the fielder with the most wickets.

Changing times…
VVS Laxman in his 220 international matches career hit 10 6s.
Brendon McCullum in the very first ‪#‎IPL‬ innings hit 13 6s.

Kohli.
Century: Yawn!
Fifty: Underperformed.
Zero: Aaj sooraj kahan se nikla!

Hurricane Kohli.
Gayle Storm.
ABD Cyclone.

Sir, right now Kohli can emerge victorious from any hopeless situation!
Mallya: Then should we make him in-charge of UB?

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

The truth about Indian Communism

What our history books don’t tell you…
1946—Communist Telangana Rebellion.
1948—CPI President calls for armed struggle.
1967—Communist West Bengal violence.
2004—Communist Maoist violence.
There’s no such thing as Naxalism.
It’s Communism plain and simple.

© Sunil Rajguru

Modi to Trump—Spectacular rise of the global Right

Can you feel the global Right resurgence? Actually you probably can’t because the global intellectual and media space still leans firmly Left and it is being severely downplayed. However the 2010s have already proved to be momentous for the Right and we could be witnessing the beginning of a brand new era.

Communism was unleashed on the world in 1848 by Karl Marx and since then it was seen as the utopia to end all ills. When the largest country (Russia) and the most populous (China) switched to Marx’s manifesto, many predicted a Communist globe.

That’s a pipe dream now. However despite the utter collapse of Communism in 1991, the ruling powerful global Left lobby marched on well into the 2000s. In the 2010s, the Left’s hold on the world is fast collapsing like a pack of cards.

You could say that the first domino was our very own Prime Minister Narendra Modi. If first Prime Minister Jawaharlal Nehru was a pseudo-Communist then his current successor Congress President Sonia Gandhi could be called a pseudo-Communist on steroids.

Schemes like NREGA and bills like the one on food security were supposed to get her a third term or at least give Modi a fractured mandate to exploit. However the Right thrashed the Left a whopping 282-44 in the May 2014 Lok Sabha polls. Absolutely nobody saw that coming.

Modi first occupied the Far Right space and then moved Centre-Right. If he wins against in 2019, then he may move back to Far Right. Who knows? So far the BJP has won most of the Assembly elections after 2014 and the Leftist Congress party is fast shrinking.

Many consider Benjamin Netanyahu the most Right-leaning Israeli Prime Minister ever and he was supposed to lose in the March 2015 polls. In a shocker he actually won and is gaining strength to this present day.

England has been one of the biggest opponents of Communist Russia in the past as their MI5 successes have shown. However their intellectuals and media have absolutely no problem leaning Left.

We saw a Battle Royale between the honourable Right David Cameron and Left Ed Miliband. All the analysis saw Cameron either being slightly ahead or a hung House with everyone flocking towards Miliband to form a government.

In another shocker Cameron won 330-232 in the House of Commons. Even Labour bastions were breached. That sent shockwaves in the English intellectual space and has pushed Miliband into oblivion. Labour has picked up the far Left Jeremy Corbyn who will struggle to get the common voter aboard with his extremist views. In fact Corbyn couldn’t nail Cameron on the Panama Papers scam and people have forgotten it now.

Now it is the turn of America. If you listen regularly to billionaire Donald Trump, then you’ll think “Far Right”. That’s why nobody gave him a chance and he was seen as a maverick who would go nowhere in the US presidential race.

Trump kept doing well and America’s ruling Left-leaning commentators kept dismissing him. When Trump made the infamous statement about keeping Muslims out of American the Left establishment started jumping in delight and attacked him virulently in a hope of landing the knockout punch.

It is a testimony of the declining influence of the Left that Trump’s popularity ratings, far from being severely dented, actually went up. Then one major media house actually did a bizarre story that Trump’s backers weren’t real voters.

Now he has clinched the Republican ticket and it is his rival Hillary Clinton (of the Leftist Democratic Party) who is looking quite jaded. It remains to be seen whether Trump can produce a shocker like Modi, Netanyahu and Cameron in the final polls.

Then there’s Europe. All the Right-wing parties have been simmering for decades and they have finally stumbled upon a tinder—Migrants. As instances of crime and terrorist attacks increase, the Right gets stronger.

Peculiarly, the global Left hates the Christian Right, Jewish Right and Hindu Right. But they seem to have entered into an unofficial alliance with the Muslim Right.

That’s why you’ll find the global Left attacking the likes of Trump, Netanyahu and Modi regularly, but going soft on Muslim fundamentalists. However the situation in Europe is changing and the Left is being marginalized.

In Germany Pegida (Patriotic Europeans Against the Islamisation of the Occident) is becoming more powerful and the government is bringing in legislation to deport immigrants easily, something which the Left is against.

The Right-wing National Front of France made impressive gains in the municipal elections elections held some time back. Ran a Reuters headline…

Far-right National Front stuns French elite with EU ‘earthquake’.

Denmark made an asset seizure law that enables the government to seize cash and valuables of migrants to fund government schemes for them. The Leftist intellectuals are up in arms, but they are finding their influence greatly reduced.

The Right-wing Law and Justice party in Poland has captured power and in almost every European country the Right is rising steadily.

The latest news comes from the Austrian elections. We almost had the first Far Right head of State in Europe. Norbert Hofer of the Far Right Freedom Party won the first round of Presidential elections and lost by a whisker in the final round. But too many people voted for Hofer to brush it under the carpet. The Right will only get stronger.

So what are the reasons for this? For one the Left should have collapsed in 1991. But it’s not that easy. The Left occupied powerful positions in government and academia and instead of seeing the writing on the wall, they fought tooth and nail for the Leftist establishment to survive.

However those who grew up in the 1990s onwards and entered various institutions saw no appeal in Communism and the Left. They are slowly occupying positions of power now. Secondly, is the rise of the social media.

While the Left could still maintain a stranglehold over traditional media—That is not the case with social media where every idea and every ideology has equal chance to succeed. In fact social media hates any form of control and the Left’s efforts to control it have backfired spectacularly.

Finally, it is the world leaders themselves. Modi is dismantling the Leftist establishment in India and getting virulently attacked for it. Cameron was targeted by the Left and will feel no love for them. The Left have virtually given up in Israel on Netanyahu.

But the rise of the European Right will be key in the years to come.

We are entering a new era and it will be quite interesting to see how things pan out.

(This is an updated version of something that came in January 2016)

Also read…

Why Trump Haters Could Well End Up Making Him President

8 things you should know about India’s Left

Yes, it’s Left wing extremism!

AAP and the Communist Revolution of 2014!

 

A Djoko Slam and he’ll have FedEx and Nadal in his sights!

If World No. 1 Novak Djokovic wins French Open 2016, he’ll achieve something which neither Andre Agassi nor Roger Federer nor Rafael Nadal achieved: Holding all four singles Grand Slams simultaneously. The last time such a thing happened was way back in 1969, a feat achieved by Rod Laver. Imagine achieving that after a whopping 47 years!

Djoko stood at the brink of this when he won Australian Open 2016 which was an unprecedented 6th title for anyone in Open men’s tennis and his 11th Grand Slam overall. He is already tied with the great Bjorn Borg and also in touching distance of a whopping $100 million in terms of career prize money which he will get if he enters the finals.

Djokovic owned 2015 by winning 3/4 Grand Slams (a repeat of 2011). Djokovic ended 2015 on a real high winning an unprecedented fourth straight ATP World Tour Final by thrashing all-time great Roger Federer 6-3, 6-4. Head to head he leads 23-22. But currently Djoko totally dominates Federer winning 6/8 of their last encounters including the Wimbledon and US Open 2015 finals. The ageless Fed can answer every question except the Djoko one.

Interestingly with the other great Rafael Nadal also Djoko leads 26-23 and he currently ruthlessly dominates winning 11/12 of their last encounters. So he is the present leader of the greatest trivalry of all time! US Open 2015 was Djokovic’s 10th Grand Slam and with that went ahead of Jimmy Connors, Ivan Lendl and Andre Agassi.

In the world of men’s singles Grand Slam tennis played in the Open Era (from 1968 onwards), Federer has the most Wimbledon (7) and US Open (5) titles ever. Nadal has the most French Opens (9). Djokovic has the most Australian Opens (6).

(While Nadal and Djokovic are outright leaders, Federer shares his records with Americans Pete Sampras and Jimmy Connors.)

Once Agassi said that if the “freak” Nadal hadn’t been there, then Federer would have won many more titles; but that applies to all three and not just Federer. Anyone without the other two would have steamrolled his opponents in the current era.

Federer burst into the scene by winning his first Grand Slam title at Wimbledon in 2004. From that tournament onwards, the three greats have won a whopping 42 of the 51 odd men’s Grand Slams played or about 80%. What’s more, from the French Open 2005 to Wimbledon 2014, at least one of them has featured in a Grand Slam final.

Federer leads the pack with 17 Grand Slam titles. Nadal is at second place with 14. His chance of getting even with Federer is severely hampered by his recent injuries. Djokovic in comparison has just 11, but he is 29 and could just about go ahead of Nadal by the time he’s done.

When it comes to the World Number 1 rankings, while Federer dominated in the initial stages of his career, in the last 3 odd years it has been by and large Djokovic.

Apart from the French Open, another thing Djokovic is behind is winning an Olympic Gold medal (both Federer and Nadal have it). He has a bronze and Rio 2016 may be his last chance.

All three are from Europe and ended the dominance of USA (think Sampras and Agassi) and together they have won in the region of 2300 matches for about 200 tournament titles.

From 2013-14 Djokovic had lost in three Grand Slam finals and had started doubting himself. But after getting the German great Boris Becker (who has 6 Grand Slam titles along with an Olympic Gold medal), his fortunes seem to have turned.

When Croatian Marin Čilić beat Japanese Kei Nishikori in the final of the US Open of 2014, a lot of commentators predicted a new era without the Big 3.

Čilić and Nishikori failed to do anything great after that. Even Andy Murray has been lacklustre. Nadal has simply nosedived and Fed has been stellar, but he has fumbled against Djoko.

Djoko is currently the last man standing.

2016 will be a crucial year for Djoko.

Can he win his first French Open and hold all four Grand Slams at once?

Can he win his first Olympic Gold?

Can he match his 2015 form?

Djoko is finally in touching distance of both Nadal and Fed.

A great 2016 and the Fed-Nadal-Djoko trivalry would be almost equalized!

(This is an updated version of something written before Australian Open 2016)

Pappu banayega #CongressMuktBharat…

In 1915, Mahatma “the first” Gandhi came to India and freed us from the Angrez.
A 100 years later Rahul “the last” Gandhi will free us from the Congrez.

Pappu and Modi are actually brothers in arms doing a joint operation called ‪#‎CongressMuktBharat‬
One from the inside and the other from the outside.

If Congress will win in 2019, India will be renamed Pappu Pradesh and the capital will be Vadra Nagar.

If the Congress had ruled continuously from 1947-2016, India would have been renamed Nehrudesh, the capital Indirabad and the moon would have been called Rajivchand.

You can go from Kasturba Gandhi Marg near Rajiv Chowk (within Indira Chowk) to Indira Gandhi Airport cutting the Mahatma Gandhi Ring Road for a flight to Rajiv Gandhi Airport and onto another Mahatma Gandhi Road there.
There are thousands of such route possibilities in India.

Online, Twitter wit finished off the Congress.
Offline, a bunch of Twits finished off the Congress.

In 2013 they declared Pappu as the future of Congress and proceeded to lose Rajasthan, Delhi, Maharashtra, Andhra Pradesh, Haryana, Telangana, Kerala, Assam (and of course Lok Sabha polls) since then!

IND(ira & son)IA

Congress Lok Sabha seats…
Nehru: 364, 371, 361.
Indira: 283, 352, 189, 374.
Sympathy waves: 404, 244.
Rajiv: 197.
Rao: 140.
Kesri: 144.
Sonia: 114, 145.
MMS: 206.
Pappu: 44.
In 2019 they can have Priyanka lead to ensure at least 20 seats.

#‎CongressMuktBharat‬ was actually launched by DMK’s CN Annadurai in Tamil Nadu in 1967.
They kicked out the Congress permanently that year.

Congress was the king of MLAs-MLCs from 1947 (with a brief blip in 1977) till Modi fully hit them.
Now BJP leads Congress 1147 to 972.

Time to rename ‪#‎GrandOldParty‬ as the ‪#‎PappuParty‬.
‪#‎CongressSinking‬ ‪#‎DynastyDaysEnd‬

Nehru ek. Gandhi anek.
Things named after Nehru-Gandhi anek X 1000.

#‎SoniaPappuBail‬
‪#‎IshratRevelations‬
‪#‎AgustaScam‬
‪#‎PCinSoup‬
‪#‎25terroristsFreedDisclosure‬
‪#‎2002AccusedNabbed‬
Paasa palating and how!

If the Congress comes back to power in 2019, it’ll be with a vengeance.
Forget Gandhi-Nehru, they may even start naming things after Vadra.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Kejri Delhi dubaayega musings…

AAP should change name to BAAP.
So many AAP leaders/MLAs out on bail.
Bail Aam Aadmi Party.
They also think that they are everyone’s baap.
(Delhi will also need a bail-out with the way they are governing)

Piyush Goyal: Mere paas reforms hai, high productivity hai, rural electrification hai, solar augmentation hai, wind power hai. Tere paas kya hai?
Kejri: Mere paas danda hai!

Delhi ke bagal main UP ke bagal main Bihar ke bagal main WB.
Chaar Mukhya Mantri.
Chaar Modi Haters.
Chaar governance debacles.
Chaara Ghotala Guru.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

#2016AssemblyPoll musings…

1952: CPI is Opposition in West Bengal.
1967: CPM single largest party.
1977: CPM comes to power.
2016: ‪#‎EndOfLeft‬ After 64 years, no power, no opposition!

Voting choices in West Bengal…
1. Dead fossil Congress.
2. Pathetic has-been CPM.
3. Abysmal ruling TMC.
4. Non-existent BJP.

Voting choices in Kerala…
1. Left behind Front.
2. United in corruption Front.
3. Building a Front for 2021.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

#ExitPoll musings…

Exit polls.
Tamil Nadu: It could be Jaya or Karuna or hung House.
Assam: BJP could win big or scrape through. One puts Congress ahead.
Kerala: LF could win big or scrape through. One puts Congress ahead.
West Bengal: Mamata could scrape through or get a landslide.
And people actually pay money for these polls?

#‎ExitPolls‬ should be renamed ‪#‎ExitTrolls‬.
X may win.
X may lose.
It could be a hung House.
Sab kucch predict kar diya hai!

Exit Poll for 100 seats…
Party A: 50 seats. (± 50 seats)

The Romantic…
There’s a suitable girl for every boy!
The Indian pollster…
There’s a suitable prediction for every party!

The amazingly wide range that all Indian Opinion and Exit Polls predict nullifies the need to have such polls in the first place.
It’s a joke.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Trump is the enemy musings…

Q: What did Obama do for refugees in his 8 years?
A: Trump will build a wall.
Q: How did Obama help African Americans in 8 years?
A: Trump is a bigot.
Q: Did Obama really change America in any way in 8 years?
A: Trump will destroy America.
Q: Was Obama’s foreign policy a disaster?
A: Trump’s foreign policy will be a disaster.

Sanders supporters are typically doing what all Communist supporters do.
Verbal abuse, throwing of chairs, disruption…
They now have targeted both Trump and Hillary.

Had the super delegates backed Sanders, then he would have been ahead.
If Trump beats Hillary, then the Democrats only have themselves to blame.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Kohli-RCB-IPL musings…

You need stitches!
Kohli: Wait. Let me first stitch up victory, then you can treat me.

Bruce ka bhai Koh Lee.
Cool-he.
K007hli.
SabKiLeLi.

Kohli to his bowlers…
Tum runs dete raho, main runs lete rahunga.

Kohli ko out karna mushkil hi nahin, namumkin hai.
Nau international teams aur saat IPL franchisees iska hal dhoond rahe hai.

Kohli singing…
Saare RCB bowlers ka bojh hum uthaate hai.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru