25 great stories out of #Demonetization…

1. Black money economy severely hit.
2. Corrupt people finally lose their money by dumping or burning.
3. Poor get some commission for conversion, benefits them.
4. Push towards more and more bank accounts.
5. Cashless economy push.
6. Counterfeit notes checked.
7. Terrorist funding checked.
8. Dawood funding checked.
9. Hence Pakistan checked (6. to 8.). Financial terrorism stops.
10. Underworld funding checked.
11. Naxalism funding checked.
12. More Naxalites being arrested.
13. India’s mindset changed, habits will change.
14. Black money folks finally afraid and things will become more difficult.
15. Black money political funding hit, especially during elections.
16. White economy boosted.
17. India now seen as a less corrupt country in the world.
18. Tracking black money made easier.
19. Money laundering under sharp focus.
20. Government tax revenue increases.
21. Hawala industry under sharp focus.
22. Circulation of money increases in India, black money hoarding stagnation hit.
23. Utilities flooded with old notes and become flush with funds.
24. Temporary normalcy in Kashmir showing how unrest was funded with black money.
25. Advance tax up and many get salaries in advance.

2 main focus areas of #AdarshLiberals and mainstream media…
1. Queues. Queues. Queues. Queues. Queues. Queues. Queues. Queues. Queues…
2. Modi will lose 2019.
(After shouting from rooftops that he will lose 2002, 2007, 2014 etc)

(C) Sunil Rajguru

Yet more #Demonetization musings…

Roti, kapada, makaan, bijli aur bandwidth.
—Late NASSCOM chief Dewang Mehta.
Now “bandwidth” is the key for our march to cashless economy.

Most people in India must be thinking that cashless economy simply means no availability of hard cash.

IAF.
We fight wars.
We go in overdrive during earthquakes and floods.
We also fly money during #Demonetization to sort out cash crunch!

Ask not what you can do for the country but what the country can do for you in terms of looted money.
—Politicians in the Pre-#Demonetization era.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

And they will continue hating Modi…

Kejriwal: Vote for anyone but BJP.
One interpretation: Vote for Congress.
Anna Hazare, tu to Congress agent nikla!

Kejri.
The man with a million mistakes, a million baseless allegations and a million nautankis.
Plus he’s chanted Modi’s name million times.

Lalu
Accused✔
Convicted✔
Disqualified✔
Incompetent✔
Jungle Raj✔
Casteist✔
Dynasty✔
#AdarshLiberals: He’s as white as snow! We hate Modi!

1970s: Too many bad politicians debut.
1980s: Mamata becomes MP.
1990s: Lalu becomes CM.
2000s: Pappu becomes MP.
2010s: Kejri becomes CM.

Congress once had all the talent, all the leaders and all the ideas.
Today it has all the stupidity, all the bankruptcy and all the Pappus.

Next they will complain that their vote bank got hacked and emptied in 2014 and they are unable to get new voting currency.
#OfflineCongress

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

The effects of the US Presidential elections…

Left ecosystem has total meltdown.
Dems running like headless chickens.
US companies trying to stay.
He’s not even President yet.
#Trump

Till 2013 Left held upper hand.
2014-16—Right won it all.
2017—Uncharted territory.
#FrançoisFillonVsMarineLePen #RightVsFarRight
#France

If California secedes within the next 4 years, then Hillary will become the founding President of the new country.

If California seceded within the next 4 years, Trump’s Electoral College vote victory becomes 306-177 and popular vote 58.3-56.6 million.

Jill Stein just got Democrat supporters to fund the Green Party.
She’s a genius.
#RecountDrama #USPolls

If Romney becomes Secretary of State, it’ll be a hat-trick of…
Failed Presidential bid–>Secretary of State.
#Kerry2004 #Hillary2008 #Romney2012

After Republican party was formed, 4 Presidents have lost the popular vote but won the Electoral College.
All 4 were Republicans.
#Hayes #Harrison #Bush #Trump

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

November 2016 Status Updates

Parthiv: Forever young.
Rohit: Forever talented.
Openers: Forever changing.
Kohli: Forever angry.
#TeamIndia #Tests #IndVsEng

(November 30)

Queen, Bob Marley, Oasis, Guns N’ Roses, Janis Joplin, Velvet Underground, The Who… didn’t win a Grammy.
Hillary got one.
Bill got two.

(November 29)

It is an era of increasing waste and garbage…
WastAge.
GarbAge.
WastAgeGarbAge.

(November 28)

#DeGlobalization

#ClimateLaissezFaire

#NeoLocalization

#NeoIsolation

#UnfreeBorders

#AntiLiberalism

#AntiCommunism

#AntiMSMedia

(November 17)

How Colonialism began.
A—We have the wonders of science and technology. Lets share it with the world.
B—Let’s attack and kill instead!
A—Yeah, sounds more fun!

(November 16)

Paper Tigers @ Home!
The last Australia beat South Africa at home: 2005.
The last South Africa beat Australia at home: 1970.
#AusVsSA

(November 15)

Best chacha…
Chacha Chaudhary.
Worst chacha…
Chacha Nehru.
#NehruJayanti

(November 14)

In 1991 during the campaign one smart alec quipped…
Get three Presidents for the price of one.
#Bill #Gore #Hillary
Close!
One President and two Presidential candidates.

Amitabh: Kucch din to guzaaro Gujarat main.
English cricket team: OK, we’ll make sure the Test lasts 5 days.
#IndVsEng #Rajkot

(November 12)

#Akhilesh
2011: Humble cycle yatra.
2016: High-tech Mercedes bus yatra.
Development for Mulayam’s child, but not for UP’s children.
#UPPolls

(November 8)

Post-Apartheid, South Africa have won exactly 0/7 Test series against Australia at home.
Greatest travelers, but worst home record this.
#AusVsSA

(November 3)

Pakistan got Independence in August and attacked Kashmir in October and has been plotting since.
It is a War Nation.
Talk peace at your peril.

(November 1)

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

The 5 stages of grief for Trump haters…

…after he became President elect of America…

1. Denial: He can’t have been elected. Hillary won the popular vote. That’s not fair! There’s been some mistake. This can’t be happening. Why have all the voters been fooled in this manner? The Electoral College sucks. It must be done away with. #NotMyPresident. We need a recount! A recount might just overturn the verdict! What if the Electoral College voted by conscience. There’s still a chance! Cry. Sob! Sob! Boo hoo! How have we become such a racist country?

2. Anger: He’s a dictator who will destroy America and the world. There will be a dictatorship. He will turn America into a Fascist State! There will be no rights for anyone. Freedom of speech and expression won’t exist! Protest! Rant! Rage! Riot on the streets. Beat up Trump supporters. Bully Electoral College members and threaten them.

After January 20, 2017 when he’s inaugurated…

3. Bargaining: We will accept him if he does this, this, this, this and this and this and…this and this and… a list which will never end and will never be satisfied…

After a few months into 2017 when he’ll be doing a pretty decent job…

4. Depression: The Great Depression. The delusional media will cope by continuing to manufacture outright lies. Liberals, Hollywood stars, Silicon Valley czars and so-called intellectuals cope by trivializing Trump’s every move. A schizophrenic dichotomy will be created where in the real world Trump will be doing pretty well but in the virtual world he’ll be a total disaster.

5. Acceptance: May come only if Trump is re-elected in 2020—Till then it’s only depression and depression and depression upon depression.

© Sunil Rajguru

Oh those liberals…

Castro. Stalin. Mao.
The bigger the mass murderer, the bigger the admiration from liberals, intellectuals and Leftists.

#Liberalism101
Democratically elected Capitalists are tyrants.
Mass murdering Communist despotic tyrants are angels.

United States of Deplorables.
Dis-United Kingdom.
European Dis-Union.
Modified India.
#LiberalNightmares

#AdarshLiberals
1984-89: Bronze Age.
1975-77: Silver Age.
1947-64: Golden Age.
2004-14: Diamond Age.
2016-__: Deep Dark Age.

For #AdarshLiberals, #Demonetization is the new Godhra.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Yet more Trump victory musings…

Freedom of Speech.
Followers of Obama, Hillary, Sonia etc can abuse as much as they want.
Followers of Trump, Modi etc can’t criticize.

Same to same.
In 2008, Americans voted against the establishment.
In 2016, Americans voted against the Obama establishment.

Trump was attacked and abused 24X7.
His Presidency will be smooth for him because he’s already used to it.

Billionaire Trump ridiculed globally.
Billionaire Thiel ridiculed in Silicon Valley.
Shows how powerful Hillary was.
“was”.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Yet more #Demonetization musings…

America: Credit is king.
India yesterday: Cash is king.
India today: Cashless is king.

Modi—Cashless.
Kejri—Useless.
Pappu—Brainless.
Mamata—Witless.
Sonia—Powerless.
Opposition—Purposeless.
Ole black money—Worthless.

Sonia agitating in the streets and giving interviews.
Pappu standing in ATM lines.
Both already appeared in court like commoners.
#AccheDin

By the time the Opposition finishes with its nautanki and the courts finish analyzing it, #Demonetization would have been fully implemented.

For most Opposition parties, Demonetization is nothing but Demoralization.

Take news channels seriously and it’ll appear that in the last 10 days, 100 crores have been standing in line for 10 hours a day.

During recession…
“No vacancy” at offices.
During #Demonetization…
“No cash” at ATMs.

Khokas and Petis.
Post #Demonetization
Petis become khokla.
Khokas become petty.

Dear Mamata,
Widespread 2002 “pakki khabar” headline…
Vajpayee will remove Modi from politics.
Uske baad na jaane kitne aaye aur gaye hai!

When you try to dress up black money as white…
Kaale kaale mukhde pe gora gora chasma.

Sad to see Opposition leaders press the self-destruct button one by one.
They are bent on making Modi a dictator post-2019.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

#Demaunetization… when the silent one spoke…

If Einstein was alive, he would have said of Manmohan…
Generations to come will scarce believe that such a one as this ever in flesh and blood walked upon this earth without a spine.

Sonia released Robot 1.0 in 2004, it ran till 2009.
Sonia released Robot 2.0 in 2009, it ran till 2014.
Even Rajinikanth can’t beat that!

Manmohan as The Trinity…
1991-96: The Creator.
2004-09: The Preserver.
2009-14: The Destroyer.

Manmohan Singh taught me…
1. Money doesn’t grow on trees.
2. #TheekHai.
3. In the end we are all dead.

Modi doesn’t know what he’s saying before a speech.
(Because it’s extempore.)
Manmohan also doesn’t know what he’s saying before a speech.
(Because someone else has written it and he’s given it at the last moment.)

His multiple choices …
a) First Manmohan Singh became Economist.
b) Second he became Bureaucrat.
c) Third he became Politician.
d) Finally he became “None of the Above”.

SINGH is King!
S = Spectrum, coal and many other scams.
I = Internet Emergency.
N = No spine whatsoever.
G = Gayab. (Awaaz, governance, etc…)
H = Home and abroad both equal failures.

A movie on Manmohan Singh’s life would be called O.H.M.S.
On Her Majesty’s Service.
He has been serving the Dynasty and not the nation since 1998.

Everyone knew Manmohan was a tubelight.
He started speaking about 2004-14 misrule only in 2016.

The problem with watching Manmohan Singh’s speech is that I funnily get the feeling that any time now he’s going to burst into tears.

Manmohan Singh…
The only man to have given 1300 official speeches and still said nothing.

Sanjaya Baru calls Manmohan Singh an accidental Prime Minister.
Par accident to India ka hua na?
MMS = Minion of Madam Sonia.

Madam: #Demonetization kaisa hai?
Puppet: #TheekHai!
Madam: Kya!!! Aaj RS main blast karna hai!
Puppet: #TheekHai! (I’ll just describe UPA)

Even at the age of 84, after his speech he’ll have to go to her and say…
Madam! Main theek bola na? Aap khush to ho na?

Under the Manmohan regime, crooks freely converted white money to black with impunity.
He’s upset it’s all being undone by #Demonetization.

Manmohan Singh: The Father of Polinomics.
Half (Politicize economics)
+ Half (Economize politics)
= Zero.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Another never-ending round of Pappu musings…

Pappu: Has no brain.
Puppet: Can’t use his brain.

Rahul is about
½ of Manmohan’s age
¼ of his grace
1/6 of his experience
1/8 of his intellect
But Manmohan is zero.
So they are both same in the end.

Nehru pushed Indira into politics.
Indira pushed Sanjay/Rahul politics.
Sonia pushing Pappu into politics.

Advisor: We are at an all-time low of 45 Lok Sabha seats. We can’t go any lower!
Pappu: Challenge accepted!

Manmohan Singh’s biography…
The Accidental Prime Minister.
Rahul Gandhi’s biography…
The Accident.

All dynasts got Prime Ministership/Remote Control on platter.
Pappu has been an MP for 12 years and is still struggling.
#AccheDin

In 15 years, Indira won party leadership, elections, wars, did Pokhran, made many bold moves…
In last 15 years, #Pappini Priyanka bagged Sidhu.

Modi 2019 strategy: Development + Governance + #SurgicalStrikes + FDI windfall + 500 rallies…
Congress 2019 strategy: Hey! #Pappini Priyanka looks like Indira!

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Lalu still rocks musings…

#LaluLand
Kejri wants to be like Lalu.
Nitish joins hands with Lalu.
Mamata will turn WB into Laluland.
Media will continue loving Lalu.

Jab tak rahega samose main alu,
Tab tak Kejri ka nautanki rahega chalu.
#AngreziLalu

Rulers of…
National politics—Modi.
Comedy—Pappu.
Drama—Kejri.
Jungle Raj—Lalu.
Illegal aliens—Mamata.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru