How fresh is Hollywood’s creativity?

A look at the Hollywood $1 Billion Dollar Club (worldwide box office gross) and the year in which the idea of the movie was created—that is the year when the event, the original first book of the series was published or when the original movie of the sequel/remake came out.

1. 2009. Avatar.

2. 1912. Titanic.

3. 1977. Star Wars: The Force Awakens.

4. 1993. Jurassic World.

5. 1963. Marvel’s The Avengers.

6. 2001. Furious 7.

7. 1963. Avengers: Age of Ultron.

8. 1997. Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2.

9. 2013. Frozen.

10. 1963. Iron Man 3.

11. 2015. Minions.

12. 1941. Captain America: Civil War.

13. 1984. Transformers: Dark of the Moon.

14. 1937. The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King.

15. 1953. Skyfall.

16. 1984. Transformers: Age of Extinction.

17. 1939. The Dark Knight Rises.

18. 1967. Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest.

19. 1995. Toy Story 3.

20. 1967. Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides.

21. 1993. Jurassic Park.

22. 1977. Star Wars: Episode I – The Phantom Menace.

23. 1865. Alice in Wonderland.

24. 2016. Zootopia.

25. 1937. The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey.

26. 1939. The Dark Knight.

Break-up…
19th Century: 1.
1900-25: 1.
1926-50: 5.
1951-75: 6.
1976-2000: 8.
2001-16: 5.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

No matter how low Hillary sunks, they’ll attack Trump…

2008.
Obama: Bush is the establishment. I’m the anti-establishment.
Slogan: Yes we can.
2016.
Trump: Obama is the establishment. I’m the anti-establishment.
Slogan: Yes we can make America great again.

Even when the millionth scandal/revelation comes about Hillary, the mainstream media will still exclusively continue to attack Trump 24X7.

Democrats: We condemn Trump’s proposed wall to keep out Mexicans, but we’ve built a 4-mile fence at convention site to keep out Americans.

All Trump has to do is keep replaying Obama’s 2008 and Sanders’ 2016 campaigns against Hillary and sit back and enjoy the fun.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

#‎TurkeyPostCoupCoup‬

Cold Turkey: The abrupt cessation of a s̶u̶b̶s̶t̶a̶n̶c̶e̶ democratic dependence and the resulting unpleasant experience.

Had a coup actually taken place, then thousands would have been arrested, sacked, emergency declared, human rights convention suspended…
Oh wait…

If it takes 20 years to build a democracy, it takes just 20 days to annihilate the complete democratic infrastructure.
‪#‎Turkey‬ ‪#‎Pakistan‬

Erdogan’s slogan…
Yes we can…
…put as many people as we want in jail.

Famous last words…
This State of Emergency is to save the nation’s democracy.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

The vicious circle in Kashmir

The sheer hopelessness of the never-ending violence spiralling out of control in Kashmir…

Separatists: Hum eenth ka jawab pathar se denge.

Police: Hum pathar ka jawab pellet se denge.

Terrorist: Hum pellet ka jawab bullet se denge.

Army: Hum bullet ka jawab… Well you saw what happened to Burhan Wani.

And beyond that is all out war with Pakistan.

1947-48: Kashmir War.

1965: Rann of Kutch Conflict.

1965: Indo-Pak War.

1971: Bangladesh War.

1984: Siachen Conflict.

1990s: Militancy in Kashmir.

1999: Kargil War.

2000s: Terrorism in Kashmir.

2010s: Difficult to shake off the above mentioned legacy.

© Sunil Rajguru

If Pappu had to formally apply for the post of Indian Prime Minister…

Dear glorious citizens of India,

I would like to apply for the post of Prime Minister of India. First let me tell you a bit about myself.

Professional qualifications: I have studied something in some foreign universities and I did some work somewhere for some time, but please don’t ask anything more about all of it. I don’t like talking about all these experiences. You have to take my word for it.

Government experience: I have never been a central minister or Chief Minister or anything like that as it requires a lot of hard work. I have never been a bureaucrat. I have never been part of committees that did something ground-breaking. I inherited the constituency of Amethi in Uttar Pradesh and I have been hanging around in the
Lok Sabha (on and off) for a whopping 12 years now. But in my defence, that is far far more experience than any Nehru-Gandhi dynast had when he or she took over as Prime Minister.

Speeches: This is my biggest body of experience. I have made millions and millions of speeches in the length and breadth of this great land, in rural and urban centres and for Assembly and general elections. I believe I am already the most experienced speech giver in my party.

So what if I spout nonsense from time to time. So what if my speech writers appear to be imbeciles? So what if I’m met by empty venues at times? So what if none of my speeches can be converted to votes? So what if most of them are disastrous?

Please look at my immense body of work and honour it.

Social media presence: I have already become a legend in the social media circuit. If you combine all the word counts and images of all the Pappu jokes, spoofs and laughs on Twitter, Facebook and the like, then I have already surpassed the combined publicity of the entire Nehru-Gandhi Dynasty manifold.

Haven’t you heard of the phrase: There is no such thing as bad publicity! Even on YouTube, the 1 hour plus interview with Arnab Goswami making a fool of myself got a good 3.2 million views. The channel was really happy. In fact all media houses really adore me.

As it is most wise men are insisting that Gross National Happiness is more important than Gross Domestic Product. Think how much laughter and happiness I will be able to give to the country of India when I become Prime Minister!

My recent achievements: Our friend Kejriwal thrashed Modi in Delhi. The Mahagatbandhan thrashed Modi in Bihar. Modi got thrashed in Uttarakhand President’s Rule fiasco. Modi got thrashed in Arunachal Pradesh President’s Rule fiasco.

Even when Modi is not getting thrashed I am totally useless and Modi is doing so much work. Yet the media, intellectuals and liberals attack Modi far far more. That’s the power of my personality. If I become Prime Minister, I will have the entire mainstream media, intellectuals and liberals eating out of my hand. That hasn’t happened to Modi, has it?

My trump card: So why should I be made Prime Minister? It’s simple really.
1. My great grandfather was Prime Minister.
2. My grandmother was Prime Minister.
3. My uncle was de facto Prime Minister.
4. My father was Prime Minister.
5. My mother was de facto Prime Minister.

That’s five good reasons while the mean chaiwallah had none and still you made him Prime Minister! I am the system (at least I was till 2014) and therefore only I can really change the system.

Anyway, please do not worry as I am in no hurry. If things go wrong with the chaiwallah then I automatically win in 2019. If things go right then there’s always anti-incumbency in 2024. Even if that fails there’s always 2029 and 2034.

I can emulate Manmohan Singh chachaji. He became Prime Minister quite late. Come to think of it Morarji Desai first became Prime Minister at the age of 81! I will turn 81 in 2051. So that’s how long you have to bear me! Better to make me Prime Minister as early as possible and get it done with!

(P.S. When I finally become Prime Minister, I will require more than six months of vacation in a year. But I am very happy with the chaiwallah for setting precedence. I will simply try to break his foreign trips record. I can holiday for one month at a time and maybe have just a couple of chai meeting with foreign leaders to justify it! Chaiwallah zindabad! Actually come to think of it, I can simply take a vacation till 2019! Hmmm… how tempting!)

Yours in good earnest,

Pappu.

(In case you haven’t guessed it, this is a spoof about Congress Vice President Rahul Gandhi)

© Sunil Rajguru

Yet another brand new innings for Sidhu the Great

Cricketer turned Commentator turned Convict turned Comedy Show Star turned Chief Minister?

Kevin Pietersen played the switch hit on the field.
Right to Left.
Sidhu played the switch hit off the field.
Right to Left = BJP to AAP.

Strokeless Wonder-Palm Grove Hitter.
Cricketer-Commentator (English-Hindi).
Reality Show Judge-Reality Convict.
Lok Sabha-Rajya Sabha.
BJP!-AAP?

For every State the BJP gains, it loses an MP.
Not a bad bargain actually.

Sir are you Out of the BJP?
Sidhu: Please wait for the decision of the Third Umpire.
‪#‎AAP‬ ‪#‎PunjabPolls‬

The BJP just lost Punjab.
(But then they never really had it in the first place)
‪#‎Sidhu‬

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

And Kashmir continues to suffer…

Who introduced what in Kashmir?
Root problem=Nehru.
Dismissal of popular Govt=Indira.
Pandit exodus=Rajiv.
AFSPA=VP Singh.
Out of control terror=Rao.
Pellet guns=Manmohan.

The paradox…
Kashmir cannot be independent thanks to Pakistan.
(It would annex it)
Kashmir can’t live peacefully within India thanks to Pakistan.
(Pak-sponsored terror)

Headline: Every hour of prime time TV news aggression pushes Kashmir a mile westward from India.
Untrue. If that was the case, it would be on the moon by now.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

#ErdoganCoup

A second coup is underway in Turkey where Erdogan is totally ousting democracy.

1994: Mayor.
2003: Prime Minister.
2014: President.
2016: Supreme Dictator.

Pisses off Putin—shoots down jet.
Pisses off Obama—brings US angle to coup.
Sacks 2700 judges.
Thousands of soldiers arrested.
‪#‎DonErdogan‬

Looks like tens of thousands jobs will suddenly come up on Turkish job sites.
‪#‎TurkishPostCoupPurge‬

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

For them the Nehru-Gandhi Dynasty still rules…

When she wants privacy she’s…
‪#‎PriyankaVadra‬
When she wants publicity she’s…
‪#‎PriyankaGandhi‬
Thanks to media, she has her cake and eats it too.
‪#‎Pappini‬

2002-14: Intense witch hunt against Modi, dozens of charges, zero court cases.
Liberals-Intellectuals-Media: Guilty!
Now court cases piling against Kejri-Dynasty.
Liberals-Intellectuals-Media: Innocent!

RSS killed Mahatma Gandhi. ✖
Rahul Gandhi will kill the Congress. ✓

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Who is wrong? The media-liberal-intellectual gang or the people of the world?

The leader of the largest democracy in the world hates the media-liberal-intellectual gang.

The presumptive Presidential candidate of the oldest party of the second largest democracy in the world hates the media-liberal-intellectual gang.

One of the world’s oldest democracies chose #Brexit in the face of doomsday predictions by the media-liberal-intellectual gang.

So who is wrong?

The media-liberal-intellectual gang?

Or the people of the world?

It can’t be both!

© Sunil Rajguru

The rise of #PokemonGO

Wizard of O̶z̶ ‪#‎PokemonGO‬
Somewhere over the rainbow… is a Pokestop.
Just follow the black tar road… follow the white cement road.

Things never heard before.
“Dad, can we go for a walk!”
‪#‎PokemonGO‬

Sign before all private property…
‪#‎PokemonGOers‬ shall be prosecuted!

Matter of time before someone names a new variety of fruit ‪#‎PokeManGO‬.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

The non-stop hypocrisy of the liberals

Stiff penalty for trolls.
Amnesty for terrorists.
Admiration for the murderous Communists.
Ridicule for the economic right.
Ban nationalism.
Support “Bharat tere tukde”.

Modi and Trump aren’t the same.
The Liberal-Media’s reactions, attacks, intolerance and modus operandi are exactly the same.
That’s the key.

44-year-old Mrs Vadra who’s never worked a day in her life and still enjoys non-stop government perks deserves to be PM, not Modi.

For ‪#‎AdarshLiberals‬, the ABC of virtue…
Afzal Burhan Che.

Fall of ‪#‎AdarshLiberals‬…
2014: Can’t fight Modi.
2015: Can’t fight Amit Shah.
2016: Can’t even fight Arnab.

#‎AdarshLiberals‬ rules for Government…
1% of India are Communists, but Commie organizations can rule.
80% are Hindu, but stay away from all Hindu organizations.

Free and fair democratic elections are fine only to the point where their results agree with us.
‪#‎Modi‬ ‪#‎Trump‬ ‪#‎Brexit‬

Amazing how many prominent personalities outraging over Bihar’s Jungle Raj still love and admire Lalu.

Political dynasts with cases against them shouldn’t contest unless they happen to be Hillary.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru