Come on Mr Gavaskar, go for a bloodless coup @ BCCI!

Pakistan. Pakistan. Pakistan. That’s the only thing I’ve been hearing ever since Shashank Manohar took over as head of the BCCI. It seems his top priority is to hold a series with Pakistan and nothing else.

First the Shiv Sena stormed into his cabin over the issue. Then we heard the Pakistan cricket team could tour India. Then UAE was proposed. Now it seems Sri Lanka. Frantic permission is being sought to somehow hold a series at any cost. Why?

This, even as innocent people are getting killed in Kashmir. This even as brave hearts like Colonel Santosh Mahadik have laid down their lives for the country. This as the Pakistani Army continues to plot India’s downfall.

This even as PCB chief Shahryar Khan keeps insulting Cricket India on a regular basis. One would have thought that Mr Manohar would have some shame. But what can you expect? Both Shahryar and Manohar are non-cricketers.

Under which rock are all our cricket legends hiding, when it comes to taking tough stands on Indian cricket?

This is an especially important question because never before in the history of Indian cricket have so many former Test players occupied so many administrative posts.

The time is right for a cricketers’ coup!

Historically India is one of the few countries where cricketers stayed away from cricket administration. The reason for that is that politics of any kind is dirty in India and cricketers used to shy away from it. Even if any ambitious cricketer would happen to enter administration, he would find himself isolated.

Slowly the politicians and industrialists entirely took over the BCCI. For example the tussle between Sharad Pawar and N Srinivasan was nothing but a battle between a politician and an industrialist.

That is why the rot has set in the BCCI because it has been ruled for decades and decades by non-cricketers. It seems an impossible case where one politician/industrialist merely replaces another politician/industrialist and the underlying system remains the same.

However Indian cricket has changed drastically in the last few years. One finds that unlike the past, in 2015 we have a galaxy of cricketing giants who happen to have picked up a lot of administrative experience. What if they got together and took over the BCCI?

At the head of the pecking order is the legendary batsman Sunil Gavaskar. He is by far the most experienced now. He was briefly an ICC Match Referee and also Chairman of the ICC Technical Committee.

He has been an advisor to the BCCI for long and was also interim BCCI President in 2014. He was put in charge of IPL8. Gavaskar is such a legend that the India-Australia Test series is named after him and Allan Border!

His protégé all-rounder Ravi Shastri was temporary coach in 2007 and is currently Team India Director.

Then there’s record breaker Sachin Tendulkar, who’s a Rajya Sabha MP no less and his Bharat Ratna has only added to his status. What if Gavaskar, Shastri and Tendulkar got together and decided to take over the BCCI?

They not only have the clout but also the chemistry to work together. Gavaskar was a great backer of both Shastri and Tendulkar and the latter also look up to him and so they could be a really great team.

They are not alone. Legendary captain Sourav Ganguly has also taken over the Cricket Association of Bengal. Dada also has both the guts and experience to take over the BCCI should the above three show no interest.

Top spinner Anil Kumble was Karnataka State Cricket Association and his Vice President was Venkatesh Prasad and Secretary Javagal Srinath, both Test bowlers. In addition Kumble is the Chairman of ICC’s Cricket Committee.

Former Test player Shivlal Yadav was declared interim President along with Gavaskar. One can’t remember when so many cricket legends were in administration together and it would be great if they all got together and affected a coup and took over the BCCI.

In fact there are many Test players who already have become officials at the State association level. 1983 World Cup winning captain Kapil Dev was also India coach and has great experience in launching the Indian Cricket League. “The Wall” Rahul Dravid has entered the system by becoming India A and India Under-19 coach.

The time is ripe for all our cricketers to take administration seriously like most other countries do.

Test players Colin Cowdrey of England and Clyde Walcott of the West Indies were the inaugural Presidents of the International Cricket Council. Even the current Chairman is Pakistan’s Zaheer Abbas, a cricketing legend.

India in contrast has had the late Jagmohan Dalmiya and Sharad Pawar. Ironically when Australia proposed former Prime Minister John Howard for the ICC, India was the most vociferous opponent!

India’s policy seems to be: When it comes to cricket, for us politicians will do, but for you it has to be cricketers!

Down under, both Mark Taylor and Matthew Hayden are directors in Cricket Australia. Who can forget that Greg Chappell was part of the revamp of Australian cricket a couple of decades back and that led to a long domination by that team in all forms of cricket?

At the end of the day it is cricketers understands problems of cricket and who can bring about a change.

Indian cricket hurtles from one disaster to another and it is only Gavaskar and company who may arrest the slide if they should choose to take decisive action!

Here’s hoping for a cricketer’s coup @ Cricket India!

Nothing less than a Test cricketer becoming BCCI President will do!

The Intolerance nautanki rages on…

The biggest victim of intolerance is Modi.
These jokers will not tolerate him even if he wins 2019.

असहिष्णुता ke pujari the Jawaharlal.
Kiya unke chamcho ne boora haal.
Failaya hai Modi ke khilaaf ek zabardast jaal.
Aur chalega nautanki chaar saal.

What if…
“I have already left the country due to rising intolerance.”

1942: ‪#‎QuitIndiaMovement‬
2014-15: ‪#‎JustTalkOfQuittingIndiaMovement‬

Which other country tolerates the likes of Lalu, Mulayam, Pappu, Sonia, Kejri along with corruption, incompetence and general inefficiency?

The biggest right in India is not FoS or FoE but Freedom to do Nautanki.
Sab news channels pe 24X7 nautanki karte rahate hai.
Asli news gayi tel lene.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

How India is a very very very intolerant country under Modi…

Intolerance: Unwillingness or refusal to tolerate or respect opinions or beliefs contrary to one’s own.

Examples in present tense…
1. Sonia refuses to tolerate or respect opinions or beliefs contrary to her own.
2. Kejri refuses to tolerate or respect opinions or beliefs contrary to his own.
3. Mamata refuses to tolerate or respect opinions or beliefs contrary to her own.
4. Mulayam refuses to tolerate or respect opinions or beliefs contrary to his own.

Examples in past tense…
1. Indira refused to tolerate or respect opinions or beliefs contrary to her own.
2. Nehru refused to tolerate or respect opinions or beliefs contrary to his own.
3. Rajiv refused to tolerate or respect opinions or beliefs contrary to his own.

1. Modi is intolerant.
2. India is intolerant under Modi.
3. On May 16, 2014, this country suddenly became intolerant.

Irony alert…
The most intolerant people in the country who are blind followers of Nehru, Indira, Sonia etc who cannot tolerate Hindu culture, India’s pluralism, the BJP or Modi are screaming “Intolerance” from rooftops.

© Sunil Rajguru

The intolerance files continue…

Arabpatis living in multi-crore houses travelling in private jets and staying in seven-star hotels crying intolerance.
Ye bhi din dekhne baaki the.

A foreign born person who rules her party with an iron fist and whose regime destroyed India is the most tolerant person in India’s history.

1960s: Violence begins in West Bengal.
1990s: Jungle Raj begins in Bihar.
1990s: Terrorism begins in J&K.
2015: Intolerance begins in India.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Raj karega Lalu aur uska pariwar

Modi: Mere paas roads hai, power hai, FDI hi, toilets hai, foreign tours hai, OROP hai… tere paas kya hai?
Lalu: Mere paas biwi, beta, beti aur sabse keemti secularism hai!

If industrialists’ kids goof up, business goes bust.
Bollywood star kids still have to work very hard.
Army officers’ kids still have to clear SSB and training.
But politician’s kids may fail, laze around, make complete asses of themselves and still be successful!
‪#‎NauviFailDyCM‬ ‪#‎Pappu‬

Chief Minister Nitish Kumar set out to be Prime Minister in 2013.
His journey has ended up with him being Half Chief Minister in 2015.

After ‪#‎BearHug‬…
Kejri—Main Delhi ko Bihar kaise banau?
Lalu—Chinta mat kar bete, tum sahi raaste pe chal rahe ho!

Modi: I’ll give you development.
Nitish: I’ll give you Lalu.
Lalu: I’ll give you ‪#‎JungleRaj‬ & ‪#‎NauSikhiyaDyCM‬.
‪#‎AdarshLiberal‬: Wheeeee!!!!!! Lalu rocks!

2006: A = IITian Revenue officer.
2007: B = TV star.
2008: C = Delhi Daredevils player.
A = Chief Minister.
B = Cabinet Minister.
C = Deputy Chief Minister.

Congress launches the JP Movement in States like Tamil Nadu and now Bihar.
From now on it will be the JP effect everywhere.
(JP=Junior Partner)

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Kejri-Lalu bhai bhai…

Kejri took so many U-turns that he came back to where he started.
Then he did the above so many times he became a roundabout.
Now he’s measured by revolutions per minute (rpm).

Kejri was a disaster as CM in 2014.
He then got 67 seats.
Kejri is a bigger disaster in 2015.
He will now get 70/70 seats.

#‎AccheDin‬ for…
Kejri, he’s a VVIP.
Lalu, he’s back.
Sonia, so much mileage from 44 seats.
Pappu, despite infinite failures, he’s still around.
Media, still attacking Modi 24X7 and not doing real stories.

Spot the difference…
He gave bribe. I didn’t ask for it.
—Corrupt official.
I didn’t hug Lalu. He pulled and hugged me.

Biggest enemy for Delhi Police…
2015—AAP MLAs.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Why is your display picture…

Why did you change your display picture to France when the tragedy happened and not Lebanon?

OK, Lebanon.

Why not Syria, which is forgotten by everyone?

OK, Syria?

Why not Iraq which is totally busted?

Why not Nigeria where Boko Haram is active?

Why not Palestine?

Why not Afghanistan?

Why not…

Why not…

Why not India, since you happen to be from India? Hundreds get killed, beaten and raped every month? Are those lives any less precious?

Actually every country faces the same problem so…

So why not change your DP to the globe which is full of suffering everywhere?

Actually everyone having that DP would be silly, so please revert to your original DP.

© Sunil Rajguru

Modi haters ka Raj abhi bhi chal raha hai…

I am the 100% man!
100% chamchagiri to the Dynasty.
100% enmity to Modi.
100% uselessness to India.
100% usefulness to media.
—Mani Shankar Aiyar.

1 Mukhauta: Hardline Vajpayee pretending to be liberal.
1000 Mukhautas: Hardline supporters of Mao, Stalin, Naxalism, Congress-CPM violence pretending to be liberal.

Many Assembly polls till 2019, so more potential ‪#‎AwardWapsis‬.
If Congress returns to power they can have grand ceremony to return returned awards called ‪#‎AwardWapsiWapsi‬.

Whisper something bad against Modi and it becomes the lead.
Deliver a ton of evidence against the Dynasty and it mysteriously disappears.

Shastri cleared Nehru’s mess for Indira.
Rao-Vajpayee cleared Indira-Rajiv’s mess for Sonia.
Modi clearing Sonia’s mess for Pappu?

Most Indian anchors are far more courteous, friendly and encouraging to Pakistani India haters in TV studios than they are to BJP leaders.

#‎ChurchAttack‬, ‪#‎LalitGate‬, ‪#‎AwardWapsi‬ etc is nothing but a dress rehearsal for the 2019 general elections by all Modi Haters.

A lot of Indian politicians believe in Swiss banks, Pakistani hospitality, Bangladeshi vote banks and Chinese style Communism.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Pappu ban gaya #BritishBuddhu gentleman…

Pappu’s computer…
Spellcheck suggestions…

3 types of people in this country.
1. Corrupt.
2. Keeping quiet about corruption.
3. Subramanian Swamy.

Indian National Congress was started by a Britisher (AO Hume).
It will be finished off by another Britisher (Pappu).

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Raj karega #BritishBuddhu…

Live in India.
Work in UK.
Vacation in Spain.
Holiday in Bangkok.
Ancestors from Italy.
‪#‎BritishBuddhu‬ = ‪#‎GlobalCitizen‬

Modi—Make in India!
Pappu—Ja be! I’ll…
Make in UK.
Make in Thailand.
Make in Spain.
Make in Italy.

Mera sair sapata hai Thai,
Ye nagarikta Englishtani,
Sar main laal buddhi Roosi,
Fir bhi dil hai Hindustani!

1989 Indian Express cartoon on Rajiv was titled…
How many countries can a Prime Minister have?
2015 version…
How many countries can a Prime Ministerial candidate have?

Pre-Mahatma Gandhi era…
Congress leaders launch Swadeshi movement.
Post-Mahatma Gandhi era…
Pappu launches Videshi movement.

If we had UPA3, then the Congress would simply have passed the Double citizenship act and all Congressis would have rushed for British passport.

Q: Please spell Rahul Gandhi.
Swamy: RahUKl GandhItaly!

Backops India was registered in 2002.
Now both Congress and BJP don’t want to talk about 2002!

India is Indira. Indira is India.
Pappu is Prithvi. Prithvi is Pappu.
Stop this UK-Thailand-Spain-Italy nonsense!

1 solid scam against the Nehru-Gandhi Dynasty will get 1/1000th the coverage of a stupid statement made by some random Sangh Pariwar hothead.

Angrez Bharat chhodo!
The slogan that has short circuited Congress leaders.
Because Pappu is an Angrez from Bharat!

Pappu and Lalu will sing after Bihar victory and UK revelations…
Hum sab Britishwa hai.

In UK, he will be known as Lord Pappu the Commoner.

BJP sees Congress getting everything on platter and gets angry.
But when it gets something on a platter, it walks away.

Hum Angrezo ke zamaane ke politician hai, ha ha!

So what?
Even Mahatma Gandhi and Jawaharlal Nehru were once subjects of both India and the British Empire!

After close to 70 years of Independence, Congrez have become the new Angrez.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Modi ka naam lete rahenge marte dam tak…

Next round of Assembly elections in April-May 2016.
Till then India will be very tolerant.
It could suddenly turn Fascist in March 2016.

Most of those who use the term ‪#‎ModiBhakt‬ are…
…in that order.

1991: Handed PMship on a platter.
1998: Handed Cong presidency on a platter.
2004: Handed power on a platter.
2009: Handed dictatorship on a platter.
Will struggle all his life.

BJP PM is working.
BJP Cabinet Ministers are working.
BJP CMs are working.
BJP leaders are talking shit.
BJP spokesmen are out of their depth.
Media is enjoying.

British media gives Modi hostile reception.
British people, Prime Minister and Queen gives Modi greatest reception ever for an Indian Prime Minister.
Which matters more?

Indian politicians…
Obama, please Modi ko ban karo!
UN Secretary General, please intolerance ka kuch karo!
Nawaz Sharif, please Modi ko hatao!

Modi kept the two giants of the Indian Right—Subramanian Swamy and Arun Shourie—out of the Cabinet.
You can’t win a media/communication war like that.

In 2014 had Subramanian Swamy been made the Home Minister and Arun Shourie the Finance Minister, things would have moved in fast forward.

Modi’s 5 biggest achievements so far…
Haters will scream he’s done nothing all the way till 2019.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

#AdarshLiberals and Modi…

The man who has been tolerating millions of pieces of abuse, slander, lies, false allegations and smear campaigns for 13 long years is called intolerant!

Modi gets 10 successive successes.
‪#‎AdarshLiberals‬ wait for failure and scream about that failure 24X7 through his next 10 successes.

Modi 99% good and 1% bad.
So focus 100% on the 1%!
Sonia 0% good and 100% bad.
So… ummm… errr… let’s not focus on her at all!

Biggest mass murderers of 20th century…
1. Mao.
2. Stalin.
3. Hitler.
Biggest riots under…
1. Nehru (1947).
2. Rajiv (1984).
3. Indira (Nellie).
‪#‎AdarshLiberals‬ worship 5/6 of above!

Modi lives in a world where he’s respected by world leaders, in charge of the Government and launching scheme upon scheme.
In the ‪#‎AdarshLiberal‬ world he’s mud.
Never the twain shall meet.

Modi speaks tons through speeches, Twitter, Mann ki Baat etc.
Then what is this silence business?
He doesn’t say what ‪#‎AdarshLiberals‬ want to hear.

Edwin Lutyens designed Lutyens’ Delhi.
Lutyens’ Delhi designed Loot-in India.

Jungle Raj under Lalu is any day preferable over Development under Modi.
Anarchy under Kejri is any day preferable over Development under Modi.
Destruction under Mamata is any day preferable over Development under Modi.
Misrule under Siddaramiah is any day preferable over Development under Modi.

Modi is an overperformer in…
Building school toilets.
Energy sector.
Foreign policy.
Infrastructure project starts.
Boosting our borders.
Tightening bureaucracy.
Jan Dhan Yojana.

Fir bhi log gaali pe gaale de rahe.
Jo kaam nahin karta usko chhod dete hai.
Jo desh ko bigaad rahe hain unki taarif karte hai. (Akhilesh, Mamata, Kejri etc)
Jo kaam karte hain sab unhi pe toot padte hai.

#‎AdarshLiberals‬ still hoping Advani will be BJP’s Prime Ministerial candidate in 2019 when he’ll be 91.

Evolution of Advani…
1990s: Super communal.
2000s: Communal.
2013: Secular.
2015: Super secular.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru