Yet more #NationalHerald musings…

Pre-2004: Mother-in-law.
2004-14: Mother-in-law-is-law.
2015: Mother-in-law’s-mother-in-law-is-Indira-is-India.
2016: Mother-in-law-is-out-law?

Lok Sabha TV and Rajya SabhaTV should be renamed Hungama TV 1 and Hungama TV 2.

India is Sonia.
Sonia is India.
India is Delhi.
Delhi is India.
—Mainstream media.

Sonia Indira se aage nikal gayi.
Indira ne PM ke gaddi pe baithke taanashaahi ki.
Sonia Opposition benches pe baithke taanashaahi kar rahi hai.

Indira Gandhi returned not because she was jailed, but because she was released after a stupid weak case.
If you go to jail for 10 years, you generally don’t return.

A for ‪#‎AwardWapsi‬.
I for Intolerance.
V for Vendetta.
D for Dictatorship.
Mamma agla kya hai?
A: Beta, J for Jail.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Pappu Parliament #NationalHerald musings…

Rajiv worse than Indira.
Sonia worse than Rajiv.
So far Pappu proving much worse than Sonia.
If Pappu loses in 2019, Congress is doomed.
If Pappu wins, India is doomed.

Till now Pappu was dismissed as a kid who threw regular tantrums.
But now it’s really getting out of hand.

Pappu: Tu jaanta nahin meri maa kaun hai?
Maa: Tu jaanta nahin meri saasumaa kaun thi?

This boy* will continue to bunk classes** all his life.
**Parliament sessions

Lucky Pappu.
He can say…
Tu jaanta nahin mera baap, maa, chacha, daadi, pardaada, parpardaada kaun hai?

Lucky Pappu.
He can say…
I am not afraid. I am a descendant of Motilal, Nehru, Indira, Rajiv and Sonia.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Columns on anti-corruption…

Why February Kranti is no August Kranti!
February 21, 2015,

Why does India worship its criminals?
October 8, 2014,

Dozens of politicians in jail soon? Possible!
October 8, 2014,

Everybody loves black money in India!
June 23, 2014,

You’re corrupt. I’m corrupt. We’re all corrupt!
13 December, 2012,

Why the corrupt get away in India
28 May 2012,

The A to Z of Anna Hazare
25 March 2012,

Open Letter to Anna Hazare…
16 January 2012,

Us vs Them: Where Anna scored heavily
7 September, 2011,

Why any kind of Lokpal is necessary
4 September, 2011,

The Anna revolution: Victory or defeat?
29 August, 2011,

7 ways to end corruption in India…
22 August, 2011,

Viva Anna! Long live the revolution!
18 August, 2011,

An Open Letter to the Congress Party…
16 August, 2011,

The A to Z of the Lokpal “nautanki“…
16 June, 2011,

India’s long fight against corruption
30 April, 2011,

Change begins in Maharashtra
15 April, 2011,

Tatas vs A Raja: India’s corruption gap
13 April, 2011,

Do we Indians actually want corruption?
25 March, 2011,

Why you can’t “punish” an Indian politician…

It’s tough to catch an Indian politician committing a crime.

If caught, tougher to chargesheet him.

If chargesheeted, even tougher to convict him.

If convicted, even more tough to uphold conviction in all higher courts.

Finally, even if the Supreme Court convicts him, then all he has to do his convert his prison cell into a virtual hotel room and bide his time to enjoy a relaxed retired life with all that black money.

In all of this where’s the punishment and where’s the reform?

So the question is, why won’t an Indian politician scam, loot, murder and be super arrogant?

© Sunil Rajguru

Great government attitude…

Excess rain woes: Pray.

Poverty: All you need is Rs 33.

Hunger: Eat in Re 1.

Terrorism: IM doesn’t exist.

Offline protestors: Maoists.

Online protestors: Trolls.

Spokespersons: Angels.

Bad economy: Statistics prove otherwise.

China-Pakistan: Who cares?

India’s problems: Only the Opposition.

What’s really wrong: Nothing.

© Sunil Rajguru

Congress corruption musings…

· The Cabinet has just converted the Constitution’s “Collective Responsibility” principle into a “Collective Irresponsibility” one.

· All Nostradamus prophecies have to be edited…
Prophecy: Man with blue turban will rule the world.
Edited version: Man with blue turban will rule the corruption world.

· Fact 1: If all corrupt Ministers quit, Cabinet would be empty.
Fact 2: It wouldn’t make a difference, next lot would loot more to catch up.

· There is a threshold amount beyond which scamsters cannot be caught.
All Congressmen are above the limit and all others are below it.

· People share a love-hate relationship with the Congress.
Hate their corruption and arrogance, but still love to vote for them.

· Right now the relatively few clean central ministries are being pulled up for not meeting their Corruption KRAs.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Choppergate musings

· Congress releasing ABCD: Any Body Can Double-deal, where the party makes the whole country Dance to their corruption tune.

· Congress’ 1-2-3 solution…
1. Pranab crucial for chopper scam probe.
2. Pranab as Prez can’t be called to court…
3. …so chopper scam probe can’t be completed.

· Congress completes its “modernization” of defence forces…
Army: Bofors guns.
Navy: HDW-Scorpene submarines.
Air Force: Agusta helicopters.

© Sunil Rajguru

C for Congress, C for Corruption…

C for Coalgate, Commonwealth Games, Cash-for-votes, Cement scam, CBI Control…

O for Oil for Food scam, Oil import (Palmolein), Ombudsman (Lokpal) not coming…

N for Nagarwala, NREGA State scams, No conviction No action policy…

G for Generations of scams since 1947…

R for Rajiv’s Bofors, our biggest brand name till date…

E for Emergency wanted again to wipe out all scams…

S for Spectrum (specifically 2G), Scorpene, Swiss Banks…

S for Satyam, S-band ISRO scam, Sukh Ram…

© Sunil Rajguru

Answer paper for Indian SPSC (Scam the Public Services Commission)…

Q1: Please give an example of one scam in the following ministries…

Finance Ministry: Harshad Mehta Scam.
Defence Ministry: Bofors
Power Ministry: Enron.
Sports Ministry: Commonwealth Scam.
Foreign Ministry: Oil for Food Scam.
Telecom Ministry: 2G.
IT Ministry: Satyam.
Industries Ministry: Cement Scam.
Civil Aviation Ministry: DIAL Scam.
Coal Ministry: Coalgate.
Mining Ministry: Madhu Koda Scam.
Agriculture Ministry: Palmolein Scam.
Road Transport and Highways Ministry: Highway Scam.
Tourism Ministry: Taj Corridor Scam.
Parliamentary Affairs Ministry: Cash-for-votes Scandal.
Health Ministry: UP NRHM Scam.
Shipping Ministry: Belekeri Port Scam.
Atomic Energy Ministry. Thorium Scam.
Space Ministry: ISRO S-Band Scam.
Minority Affairs Ministry: Wakf Land Scam.

Q2: Please give an example of one scam in the following States…

Andhra Pradesh: EMMAR Scam.
Arunachal Pradesh: PDS Scam.
Assam: Education Scam.
Bihar: Fodder Scam.
Goa: SEZ Scam.
Gujarat: Sugarcane Scam.
Haryana: Forest Scam.
Himachal Pradesh: Pulse Scam.
J&K: Recruitment Scam.
Jharkhand: MGNREGA Scam.
Karnataka: Bellary Mining Scam.
Kerala: Sex Parlour Scandal.
Madhya Pradesh: MGNREGA Scam.
Maharashtra: Irrigation Scam.
Meghalaya: Forest Scam.
Odisha:Paddy Scam.
Punjab: Paddy Scam.
Rajasthan:Vasundhara Raje Land Scam.
Tamil Nadu: Granite Scam.
Uttar Pradesh: Stamp Duty Scam.
Uttarakhand: Land Scam.
West Bengal: Purulia Arms Drop.

Q3: Please give an example of one scam associated with the following countries…

Canada: SNC-Lavalin.
Czech Republic: Tatra.
France: Scorpene.
Germany: HDW.
Iraq: Oil for Food.
Italy: Finmeccanica.
Japan: Maruti 1970s Scam.
Latvia: Purulia Arms Drop.
Malaysia: Palmolein Scam.
Singapore: Kuo Oil.
South Africa: Cricket match-fixing.
Sweden: Bofors.
United Kingdom: Jeep Scam.
United States: Enron.
West Indies: St Kitts Forgery.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

More Congressi bashings…

· Loot Rs 1.86 lakh crore=Legal+Patriotic+Don’t even criticize+No jail.
Draw a cartoon on the above=Illegal+Treacherous+Strongly condemnable+Get jailed!

· Be careful what you put on your Facebook/Twitter accounts: Obama.
Be careful if you have Facebook/Twitter accounts in the first place: Manmohan.

· Gold Medal: People are sovereign.
Silver Medal: Constitution is supreme.
Bronze Medal: Parliament.
Congress will get the message in 2014 or before.

· UPA2 has seen great growth (of scams), great stability (to scamsters), united India (against it), and now will meet all future expectations (as none are left).

· If you look at all the nonsense Diggy Raja talks, then he could have his own 24X7 channel.
If you look at the sense he talks, then there’s infinite silence.

· I am living the American Dream: Obama.
I am living the Indian Nightmare: Manmohan.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

UPA bashings of the day 2…

· In the 1980s, Bofors gave the Opposition an orgasm.
That way, this is a multiple orgasm government.

· UPA’s favourite movie is Black. Black money. Black coal. Power Blackout. Net blackout. Black future. Blackguards all.

· Dhanteras comes every year.
For the Congress Kaladhanteras comes every day of the year.

· Yesterday…
Madam you are just like Indira!
No, her father was Nehru, mine wasn’t.
Madam you are just like Indira!
No, she could impose Emergency and I can’t!

· Crores of Indians have Congrage right now and want to overthrow the government in anger.

· Itna zero loss no loss kar rahe hai ye log that the UPA score is now Rs 5 lakh crore for no loss.

· UPA: Manufactured in 2004.
Expiry date: 2012.
Will decompose and stink the longer it stays.

· The Congress was Created by a foreigner.
At this rate, it will be Destroyed by a foreigner too.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

UPA bashing of the day…

· I have a strong feeling that the Congress leadership has a game every morning to select “Idiot of the Day” and that person entertains TV channels and trends on Twitter for the day.

· Whenever the US is under threat, a 100 random lives get killed for no reason.
Whenever the UPA is under threat, a 100 random websites get killed for no reason.

· Hamam main sab nanga,
Par usme bhi
Congress sabse changa.
(Actually ye hai bahati corruption ki Ganga).

∙ Q: Aap ka dhan ka kaalapan ka raaz kya hai?
UPA: Hum roz Coalgate ka istemaal karte hai!

∙ Coal is a fossil fuel.
The UPA is full of fossils and has no more fuel to run any more.

· Manmohan’s personal symbol is the Lotus. He’s squeaky clean but surrounded by tonnes of mud.
(No wonder the BJP hate him so much!)

· Rahul is a Twit whose exploits have been ReTwitted in cyberspace a million times.
Boy will he Trend when he becomes PM!

Million dollar Baby: Hollywood.
$100 Billion Dollar Baby: UPA Scams.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru