Priyanka Vadra musings…

The Congress unleashed two 5-year-plans on the nation.
One: By the Planning Commission lasting for 5 years.
Two: Priyanka Vadra, coming once every 5 years.

The Dynasty…
InGa. SaGa. RaGa Sr. SoGa. RaGa Jr.
PriVa. RoVa.

Ye #ModiVsPriyanka trend kisne nikaala?
It’s #ModiVsSonia.
Pappu is a sub-set of Sonia.
Pappini is a sub-set of Pappu.

Mrs Vadra ko gussa kyun aata hai?
Zindagi bhar aaraam hi aaraam,
with absolutely no kaam,
phir bhi ranting with great alarm.

Why does Modi do childish things like people development?
Why doesn’t he do grown-up things like monetary self-development (just like my wonderful hubby)!

In awe of Sonia.
In awe of Pappu.
In awe of Mrs Vadra.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Yet more 2014 General election musings…

Most politicians of India…
Abki baar, Modi se takraar.

Even when he goes to vote, he’s mobbed by a paparazzi kind of crowd with mobicams.

Elections are the only time when you may be asked…
Please show me your finger!

Their strategy…
Attack Modi + Defend Sonia.
Prop up…
Pappu (Fail).
Then Kejriwal (Fail).
Then Mr Vadra (Fail).

Pro-Modi spin…
Giriraj said Modi haters can live.
Farooq said Modi supporters should drown.
Anti-Modi spin…
Giriraj asks Modi haters to take a walk to Pakistan.
Farooq asks Modi supporters to take a walk on the ocean.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Musings of Sonia Gandhi the Sphinx…

sphinx-2116041_640The US President has the Book of Secrets.
The Congress President is the Book of Secrets.

Sonia: I can’t show you my passport.
US: Why?
Sonia: Because the Indian government has directed me to.
US: And who directs the Indian government?
Sonia: Me!!!

If the Congress/Dynasty is booted out for good, then India’s slogan will be…
Ho gaya Bharat Nirman.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Handbook for fighting 2014 general elections…

Want to be seen as secular?
—Attack Modi!

Nurture Prime Ministerial ambitions?
—Attack Modi!

Have zero development stories to boast of?
—Attack Modi!

Opinion polls show your party’s slipping?
—Attack Modi!

Want to please your party’s supreme leader?
—Attack Modi!

Told that there’s a Modi wave in the country?
—Attack Modi!

Tainted with a riot?
—Attack Modi!

Want to save democracy?
—Attack Modi!

Tainted with a scam?
—Attack Modi!

Want to take on crony capitalism?
—Attack Modi!

Part-time politician coming out of the woodworks?
—Attack Modi!

Hear that someone else has attacked Modi?
—Attack Modi!

Modi attacks you?
—Attack Modi!

Don’t know what to say?
—Attack Modi!

Holding a rally?
—Attack Modi!

You are Modi?
—Well the only thing left to do is to attack everyone else!

© Sunil Rajguru

Nehru-Gandhi Dynasty musings…

Give me 60 months and I’ll change India: Narendra Modi.
Give me 1 month’s limelight every 60 months and I’ll change India: Priyanka Vadra.

1966: Indira desh bachayegi.
1977: Sanjay desh bachayega.
1984: Rajiv desh bachayega.
2004: Sonia desh bachayegi.
2009: Pappu desh bachayega.
2014: Pappini desh bachayegi.
Desh: Arre koi to mujhe Nehru-Gandhi dynasty se bachao!!!

Total days spent by Sonia+Pappu+Pappini as PM/CM/Minister = Zero.
Number of really tough questions asked of them till date = Zero.
Amount looted in scams committed in last 10 years = 1ZeroZeroZeroZeroZeroZeroZero…

1999: Will Priyanka contest polls?
2004: Will she contest?
2009: Will she contest?
2014: Will she contest?

Mera dynasty parameshwar: Congress man.
Mera pati paramaeshwar: Priyanka Vadra.
Hai na Vadra mahaan!

Waise “Pappu Model” kya hai?
Aur “Vadra Model” kya hai?
(Both Robert and Priyanka versions)

Congress: We have a larger role for Priyanka!
Q: How?
Congress: In 2009 elections she spent a total 10 hours campaigning. This time she’ll do 15 hours!

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

2014 general election musings…

Give me some sunshine,
Give voters less brain,
Give me another chance,
I want to loot India once again.

Sonia on May 16…
Accha baba maine maan li haar,
Abki baar Modi sarkaar.

Modi has decided to Face The Nation by giving interviews Left, Right and Centre and is gracing (nearly) everyone’s Newshour.

Every deleted voter also counts.
For the party he or she would have voted against.

3 rights…
1. Right to vote.
2. Right not to vote.
3. Right to prevent you from voting.
#MissingVoters #VoterLists

These versions by Sunil Rajguru