John Lenon’s Imagine: Bihar remix version…

Please read to the tune of John Lennon’s Imagine

Imagine there’s no development,
It’s easy if you try,
No roads below us,
Above us no electricity poles (only sky).
Imagine all the people,
Suffering day after day…

Imagine there’s no law and order,
It isn’t hard to do,
Everything kill and die for,
And no governance too.
Imagine all the people,
Living life in pieces…

You may say I’m a rotten politician,
But I’m not the only one,
Every party is rushing to join us,
And the rotten political world will be as one.

Imagine no possessions,
I know you already can,
Nothing but greed and hunger,
A brotherhood of the Jungle Raj Man,
Imagine all the people,
Sharing all the loot…

You may say I’m a rotten politician,
But I’m not the only one,
Every party is rushing to join us,
And the rotten political world will be as one!

Original song: Imagine
Singer: John Lennon.
Year: 1971

(This spoof by Sunil Rajguru)

Look out, here comes the Mufflerman!

(In honour of Mufflerman Arvind Kejriwal…
Please sing to the tune of Here comes the Spiderman…)

Mufflerman, Mufflerman,
Does whatever a politician can,
Spins a lie, any size,
Catches controversies just like flies,
Look out!
Here comes the Mufflerman.

Is he wrong?
Listen bud,
He’s got Communist blood,
Can he bring a change?
Take a look overhead,
Hey, there,
There goes the Mufflerman (after 49 days flat).

In the chill of night,
At the scene of a dharna,
Like an anarchist ready for a fight,
He leaves just in time.

Mufflerman, Mufflerman,
Friendly Delhi neighbourhood Mufflerman,
Wealth and fame,
He can’t ignore,
Excess publicity is his reward.
To him, life is a great big bang up,
Whenever there’s a TV camera hung up,
You’ll find the Mufflerman!

This spoof by Sunil Rajguru

The strange tale of Politician Kejriwal Grundy…

Politician Kejriwal Grundy,

Born on a Monday,

Launched party on Tuesday,

Became CM on Wednesday,

Declared future PM on Thursday,

Lost his CMship on Friday,

Lost his PMship dreams on Saturday,

His politics took ill, grew worse, died and buried on Sunday.

That was the end,

Of Politician Kejriwal Grundy.

This version by Sunil Rajguru

The ultimate Ab ki baar Modi sarkar rhyme…

Ab ki baar aar ya paar,
Ab ki baar no daraar,
Ab ki baar Delhi is not far,
Pappu PM only in jocular,
Pakki hai Congress ki haar,
Hil gaya Delhi ka durbaar,
Milega use ek naya avatar,
Milenge naye naye shikaar.
Ab ki bar Modi sarkar.

There’s only one charcha in the bazaar,
Only one conversation in every car,
In each and every seminar,
While gulping pizza or idli-sambhaar,
Or even eating caviar,
Only one man is on the radar.
Ab ki bar Modi sarkar.

It’s the ultimate political interwar,
This country has become bipolar,
Desh ke beech main hai deewar,
Par kahe cop, general aur tehesildar,
Bole neta, kisan aur zamindar,
Kahe jawaan, manager aur jamaadar,
Even the student who does ratta maar.
Ab ki bar Modi sarkar.

Detractors kahe ye hain brutal tsar,
Godhra kahe baar baar baar,
Par hai ye bandha superstar,
Yaane ke simply stellular,
BJP ka hai ye lodestar-polestar,
Hai ye Saffron ka renewed waar,
Dega apne opposition ko zabardast maar,
Badlega Bharat ka sansaar,
Ab ki bar Modi sarkar.

This version by Sunil Rajguru

Pappu’s favourite songs…

Kai baar yoon bhi dekha hai,
Ye jo mann ki gareebi rekha hai…

Ye PM ki gaddi mil bhi jaaye to kya hai?

Mera naam Papp-Pappu,
Papp-Pappu baba Papp-Pappu,
Raat chaandni main aur tu,
Hello, voter how do you do?

Kuchh to log Tweet karenge, logo ka kaam hain Tweet karna,
Chhodo bekaar ke trolls ko, kahi beet na jaaye raina…

Mera joota hai politics,
Mere patloon main hain politics,
Sar pe secular topi hai politics,
Aur ye dil bhi hai politics…

Nanhaa munnaa raahi hoo, desh ka sipaahi hoo,
Bolo mere sang, Vote Cong, Vote Cong, Vote Cong…

Suhaana safar aur ye mausam haseen,
Hamain darr hai hum satta kho na jaaye kahin…

Politics ki duniya se ho ke majboor chala,
Main bahut door, bahut door, bahut door chala…

Manmohan teri sarkar maili ho gai,
Paapiyo ke paap dhote dhote…

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Ye tera scam, ye mera scam…

Please sing to the tune of Ye tera ghar, ye mera ghar from the Bollywood movie Saath Saath

Ye tera scam, ye mera scam, kisi ko baat-na ho agar,
To pahale aake dede mera share, uska share,
Ye tera scam, ye mera scam, ye scam bahut haseen hai,
Ye scam bahut haseen hai, ye scam bahut haseen hai.

Na CBI ke chhaaon main, na kisi police chowki ke gaaon main,
Na pakadne ke raaste bane hain iske vaaste,
Magar ye scam ajeeb hai, zameen ke kareeb hai,
Ye dollar-Rupee ka scam hamaari hasraton ka scam,
Ye tera scam…

Jo “1 lakh crore” nahin to kya ye rosihni hai hamare chhoti tijori ka,
Saare rishtedaaron ke khwaab khil gaye to fikr kya bahaar ki,
Hamaare ghar na aayegi kabhi khushi imaandaari ki,
Hamaari raahaton ka scam, hamaari chaahaton ka scam,
Ye tera scam…

Yahan mahak bewafaaon ki, bhrashtachaar ka rang hai,
Ye scam tumhara khwaab hai, ye scam meri ummang hai,
Na aarzoo pe qaid hai, na hausle pe jung hai,
Hamaare hauslon ka scam, hamaari himmaton ka scam,
Ye tera scam…

This Spoof by Sunil Rajguru

(Original song: Ye tera ghar, ye mera ghar.
Film: Saath Saath.
Year: 1982)

Silsila of the lonely Prime Minister…

Main aur meri tanhaai, aksar ye baatein karte hai,
Reed ki haddi: Tum hoti to kaisi hota,
Tum ye kahati, Tum woh kahati,
Tum is decision pe hairaan hoti, tum us scheme pe kitni hansti,
Tum hoti to main accha hotaa, tum hoti to main dhang ka kaam karta,
Main aur meri tanhaai, Aksar ye baatain karate hain…
Economy enters and sings…
Ye kahaan aa gaye hum, yunhi saath saath chalte…

This Spoof by Sunil Rajguru

(Original Song: Ye kahaan aa gaye hum.
Film: Silsila.
Year: 1981.)

The Indo-Pak peace theme song…

Please sing to the tune of Hum honge kamyaab

Honge kaamyaab, honge kaamyaab (Pre-Independence mistrust),
Hum honge kaamyaab ek din (Congress-Muslim League face-off),
Ho ho mann main hai vishwaas (Post-Partition violence),
Poora hai vishwaas (1947-48 Kashmir war),
Hum honge kaamyaab ek din (1965 Rann of Kutch invasion).

Hogi shanti chaaro aur (1965 Indo-Pak war),
Hogi shanti chaaro aur  (1971 Bangladesh war),
Hogi shanti chaaro aur ek din (Pokhran I),
Ho ho mann main hai vishwaas (Pak Kirana cold N-tests),
Poora hai vishwaas (Siachen Conflict),
Hogi shanti chaaro aur ek din (Operation Brasstacks).

Hum chalenge saath saath (1990s Kashmir militancy),
Daale haathon main haath (Pokharan II),
Hum chalenge saath saath ek din (Pak Chagai N-blasts),
Ho ho ho mann main hai vishwas (Kargil War),
Poora hai vishwaas (LeT JeM wagaira wagaira),
Hum chalenge saath saath ek din  (26/11).

Nahi darr kisi ka aaj (China-Pak bhai bhai),
Nahi bhaya kisi ka aaj (US-Pak mama bhatija),
Nahi darr kisi ka aaj ke din (Dozens of failed talks),
Ho ho mann main hai vishwaas (Hundreds of ceasefire violations),
Poora hai vishwaas (Thousands of dead lives),
Nahi darr kisi ka aaj ke din (A totally bankrupt leadership).

This Satire of the Original by Sunil Rajguru

We don’t need no IAS officers…

(While the whole nation is behind suspended and chargesheeted IAS officer Durga Shakti Nagpal, the SP government has gone ahead and said that they don’t need IAS officers in the first place)

Please sing to the tune of Another Brick in the Wall by Pink Floyd

We don’t need no IAS officers,
We don’t need no Central control,
No dark sarcasm in the newsroom,
Communals leave them seculars alone,
Hey communals leave them seculars alone,
All in all the citizen is just another brick in the wall,
All in all the citizen is just another brick in the wall.

This spoof by Sunil Rajguru

(Original Song: Another Brick in the Wall 2
Group: Pink Floyd.
Year: 1979)

States bantate chalo…

Please sing to the tune of Pyar bantate chalo from the movie Hum Sab Ustad Hain

(Reference: Andhra Pradesh to be bifurcated.)

Ho States bantate chalo, States bantate chalo,
Hey States bantate chalo, States bantate chalo,
Kya South ke, kya North ke, ye sab hain ready for katai,
States bantate chalo, States bantate chalo,
Hey, States bantate chalo, States bantate chalo.

Kaatna hai Centre kee nishanee, yeh buzurgo kaa kehana hai yaaro,
Ek hi saaj ke tar hain sab, par hamko mil jul ke rahna nahin hai yaaro,
Kaatna hai Centre kee nishanee, yeh buzurgo kaa kehana hai yaaro,
Ek hee saaj ke taar hain sab, hamko aur taare jodte rahana hai yaaro,
Hey socho kal kitne kam States the, dekho ab kitne hai,
Sabko le doobegi ye kaantne ki ladai,
States bantate chalo, States bantate chalo,
Hey States bantate chalo, States bantate chalo.

Telangana ye hai to Seemandhra tum ho, ye hai Bihar to Jharkhand tum ho,
Naam kuchh ho magar ye naa bhulo, sab se pahale to political victim tum ho,
Telangana ye hai to Seemandhra tum ho, ye hai Bihar to Jharkhand tum ho,
Naam kuchh ho magar ye naa bhulo, sab se pahale to political victim tum ho,
Hey bache hue States, kal ke liye tayyaar raho,
Tum se aur regional leaders kya kya ummeede hain lagi,
States bantate chalo, States bantate chalo…

This spoof by Sunil Rajguru

(Original song: Pyar bantate chalo.
Film: Hum Sab Ustad Hain.
Year: 1965.)

Gotta Serve the Dynasty…

Once you join the Congress party in India, you have absolutely no choice but to serve the Nehru-Gandhi dynasty and not the party.

Please read to the tune of Gotta Serve Somebody by Bob Dylan

You may be a PhD from England or France,
You may like to gamble, you might like to dance,
You may be the political heavyweight champion of your world,
You may be a socialite with a long string of pearls.

But you’re gonna have to serve the Dynasty, yes indeed,
You’re gonna have to serve the Dynasty,
It may be the Queen or it may be the Yuvraj,
But you’re gonna have to serve the Dynasty.

Might be great orator thundering on the stage,
Might have money and followers at your command, opponents in a cage,
You may be a business man or some high degree thief,
They may call you doctor or they may call you chief.

But you’re gonna have to serve the Dynasty, yes indeed,
You’re gonna have to serve the Dynasty,
It may be the Queen or it may be the Yuvraj,
But you’re gonna have to serve the Dynasty.

You may be a state Chief Minister; you might be a young political Turk,
You may be the head of some big TV network,
You may be rich or poor, you may even have the same surname,
You may be living in another country under another name.

But you’re gonna have to serve the Dynasty, yes indeed,
You’re gonna have to serve the Dynasty,
It may be the Queen or it may be the Yuvraj,
But you’re gonna have to serve the Dynasty.

You may be a VVIP with your own aerodrome,
You may be living in a mansion or you might live in a dome,
You might own guns and you might even own databanks,
You might be somebody’s landlord you might even own banks.

But you’re gonna have to serve the Dynasty, yes indeed,
You’re gonna have to serve the Dynasty,
It may be the Queen or it may be the Yuvraj,
But you’re gonna have to serve the Dynasty.

You may be a stalwart with a great deal of pride,
You may be a shady politician taking bribes on the side,
You may be a ferocious lion in your own lair,
You may be somebody’s mistress, may be somebody’s heir.

But you’re gonna have to serve the Dynasty, yes indeed,
You’re gonna have to serve the Dynasty,
It may be the Queen or it may be the Yuvraj,
But you’re gonna have to serve the Dynasty.

Might like to wear khadi, might like to wear silk,
Might like to drink whiskey, might like to drink milk,
You might like to eat imported, you might like to eat simple bread,
You may be sleeping on the floor, sleeping in a king-sized bed.

But you’re gonna have to serve the Dynasty, yes indeed,
You’re gonna have to serve the Dynasty,
It may be the Queen or it may be the Yuvraj,
But you’re gonna have to serve the Dynasty.

You may call me Chidu, you may call me Mani,
You may call me MMS, you may call me Antony,
You may call me Kapil, you may call me Ramesh,
You may call me anything but no matter what you say.

But you’re gonna have to serve the Dynasty, yes indeed,
You’re gonna have to serve the Dynasty,
It may be the Queen or it may be the Yuvraj,
But you’re gonna have to serve the Dynasty.

This Spoof by Sunil Rajguru

(Original Song: Gotta Serve Somebody.
Singer: Bob Dylan.
Year: 1979)

Advani’s Sound of Music for Modi…

Please sing to the tune of Sixteen Going on Seventeen from The Sound of Music

(Advani sings to Modi…)

You wait little boy,
On an empty stage,
For fate to turn the light on,
Your life little boy,
Is an empty PM’s chair,
That politicians will want to trample on,
You are 62 going on 63,
Baby it’s time to think,
Better beware,
Be canny and careful,
Baby you’re on the brink,
You are 62 going on 63,
Fellows will fall in line,
Eager young Tweeple,
And TV hosts and analysts,
Will offer you PM dreams,
Totally unprepared are you,
To face the world of Delhi,
Timid and shy and scared are you,
Of things beyond your ken,
You need someone,
Older and wiser,
Telling you what to do,
I am 85 going on 86,
I’ll take care of the PM’s chair…

This Spoof by Sunil Rajguru

(Original Song: Sixteen Going on Seventeen.
Film: The Sound of Music.
Year: 1959.)