Virat “King Kohli” musings…

cricket-players-2027502_640Foreign intellectuals will soon start an ‪#‎AwardWapsiCampaign‬ to protest Kohli’s Rising Intolerance against all bowlers in all formats.

When it comes to Kohli, MC-BC now stands for…
Master Chaser-Boss of the Chase.

Kohli ko chase main harana mushkil hi nahin, namumkin hai.
Iska hal gaayra mulko ki coaching departments khoj kar rahi hai.

Q: What do you think of ‪#‎GharWapsi‬?
Kohli: Yes I love it. First we sent the Pakistanis home and then the Aussies. I want to do the same with the Windies.

Phone call: Can I speak to xyz Indian batsman?
Answer: Woh abhi batting pe gaye hai. Noodles chadha do. Boil ho jaayenge, tab tak wapis aa jaayenge.
Phone call: Can I speak to Kohli?
Answer: Woh abhi batting karne gaye hai. Kucch ghante baad jab India ki jeet ke phatake phootenge, matlab woh free ho gaye. Tab call karna.

Kohli to Australia…
Aisa hai bhai, aap logon ne ODI World Cups kuch had se jyaada hi jeete hai. Ab hum tumhe T20 World Cups nahin jeetne denge.

Rohit: Poori innings ya to main kheloonga ya tu.
Kohli: Chal hat. Is maamle main, main thoda selfish hu.

Australia in first 4 overs = 53 runs.
India in last 4.1 overs = 59 runs.
Tu great starter, to main greater finisher.
—Sri Sri Kohli Baba.

And Dhoni too…

Ashes to ashes,
And dust to dust,
If Kohli don’t get you,
Dhoni must.

Umpire: Line belongs to me.
Dhoni: Last over belongs to me.
Kohli: BC. MC. Poora inning mera.

Indian batting…
Body: Kohli.
Tail: Dhoni.
Yaane ki Indian batting ki umar hai itni sanam,
Kohli se shuru aur Dhoni se khatam.

Brangelina se dumdaar jodi hai Dhonikohli.

Smith wins the toss, elects to bat. Dhoni, you disappointed.
Dhoni: Thanks Steve! Kohli will anchor the chase and I’ll hit the winning shot.

Steve Waugh could do mental disintegration over a period of five days.
MS Dhoni can do that in one ball.

Chase main koi double century bhi maarega phir bhi winning shot main hi maarunga.
—Sri Sri Dhoni Baba.

Lethal jodi…
Kohli takes single and Dhoni comes on strike.
Bowler apna sar patakta hai.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Sinking Congressi musings…

Congress money tanks were always flush when in Opposition.
For the first time taps in danger of running dry.

Congress: How could you dismiss Uttarakhand Government? This is murder of democracy!
Modi: Abhi to party shuru hui hai!
Ye toh bas shuruwaat hai.
Baad main na kahana kuch bhi.
Pahale hi de doon warning!

Shashi Tharoor…
Would be United Nations Secretary General.
To Minister of State.
To Kanhaiya’s spokesperson.
What a fall!

Go figure…
Student joins campus in non-BJP State.
Joins Communist politics, quits in frustration.
Commits suicide when Modi is PM.
Verdict: Modi’s fault!

Forget the Congress, President’s Rule has been implemented around 75 times just when the Nehru-Gandhi Dynasty was incharge.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

#AdarshLiberals musings…

What #AdarshLiberals want…
New post of undisputed Monarch: Sonia.
President: Kejri.
Prime Minister: Pappu.
Home Minister: Lalu.
Foreign Minister: Mamata.
Education Minister: Kanhaiya.
Information & Broadcasting Minister: Diggy Raja.

Very high water guzzlers…
Meat industry.
Washing machines.
Western flushes.
Highest water guzzler for ‪#‎AdarshLiberals‬ who consume all three…

JNU sedition rally and Hyderabad student violence is not shocking.
Shocking is how all this has been raging on unchecked for decades now.

It costs a lot of money to keep the Modi Hate Industry alive.
By keeping quiet and ignoring them, he’s bleeding them financially.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

MS Dhoni musings…

Picture abhi baaki hai mere dost!
—Bollywood ka Baadshah.
Last over abhi baaki hai mere dost!
—Cricket ka Baadshah.

March schedule…
19th: Bura na maano, Kohli hain.
23rd: Bura na maano, Dhoni hain.
24th: Bura na maano, Holi hain.
‪#‎2016T20WC‬ ‪#‎HappyHoli‬

Dhoni: Aaj kuch toofani karte hai!
Kohli: Last ball Victory 6?
Dhoni: Yaar woh bahut kar chuka hu.
How about last ball Victory Run Out?

The film “M.S. Dhoni: The Untold Story” should actually be called “Jo Jeeta Wohi Mahendra”.

Andheri raat ke baad teen din ki chandni…
Overs 1-19.3: Pathetic fielding.
19.4: Good catch.
19.5: Great catch.
19.6: Brilliant run out.

Before India used to panic.
Now Dhoni induces panic in the opposition.

Hardik Patel ko mila jail.
Hardik Pandya ne diya Team India ko bail.
‪#‎IndVsBan‬ ‪#‎2016T20WC‬

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

And Communists still walk amongst us…

1848: Communism is Panacea.
1917: Conquers Russia.
1948: Conquers China.
Post World War 2: Conquers East Europe.
1978: China partially junks it.
1991: Collapses in Russia and East Europe.

Anyone believing in Communism in 1848 was an idealist.
Anyone believing in Communism in 1948 was an optimist.
Anyone believing in Communism in 1992 was an idiot.
Anyone believing in Communism in 2016 is totally beyond comprehension of any kind of logic.

It makes more sense to believe in Santa Claus and the Tooth Fairy.

© Sunil Rajguru

#IndVsPak #T20WC2016 musings…

Sharjah is a fixed Harjah for India versus Pakistan.
World Cup is a mobile Harjah for Pakistan versus India.

Very soon Kohli, Yuvi, Raina etc will do a Mauka Mauka ad to hit the winning shot which always seems to go to Dhoni.

Keep calm!
Kohli will rebuild the innings.
Dhoni will hit the winning shot.

Dhoni aur winning shot.
Kamaal ki jodi.
Fevicol ki jodi.
Tootegi nahin.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

8 reasons why “Joker” Donald became a “Trump” card in the American political game…

trump-2062441_640When a thrice married 69-year-old billionaire business tycoon, casino man and TV reality show host enters the political race to select the most powerful man in the world, chances are that he would be seen as a joker by all and sundry.

That is exactly what happened to Donald John Trump when he announced that he would run for President of the United States of America in June 2015. But since then he has come really a long way and emerged as trump card in the American political game.

Here are some of the reasons for his joker to trump fairy tale…

1. Trump is a rank outsider.

There is something irresistible about the outsider in politics. Everybody the world over is sick and tired of the political system and the same ole politicians that they seek some outsider, even if he or she happens to be an unknown devil.

That happened with US President Barack Obama in 2008 and even Indian Prime Minister Narendra Modi in 2014. And nobody looks and feels more of an outsider than Trump.
He isn’t a career politician and even the Republican old guard hates him.

He isn’t politically correct and speaks his mind no matter how bad it sounds. He seemed to have caught the pulse of a large section of disillusioned American voters quite early. When the country is going through smooth times, voters look for a regular established candidate.

But right now disillusionment against Obama is quite high and foreign policy is in a total mess with the likes Russian President Vladimir Putin flexing his muscles.

Trump looks like a cent per cent contrast to Obama and that may prove to be a great advantage in this election year at least. He has made the best of the Republican rift: The gap between the leaders and the voters.

2. Trump stood up to his haters and how!

The Republican establishment hates him. The American media hates him. Intellectuals hate him. Liberals hate him. The foreign media hates him. The Muslim world hates him. Phew! Anyone else would have wilted under the pressure.

But not Trump. He has faced great ridicule and hostility wherever he went. He boycotted Fox News for some time. Alleged protestors of Democratic hopeful Bernie Sanders didn’t allow his rally to take place. Trump got no sympathy from the media and Sanders seemed unrepentant.

Wherever he goes he encounters haters and he is attacked in every forum you can think of. However instead of being cowed down, he has stood up to all of them. He has shown great spine in the face of his haters and this is one aspect which will go down really well in one section of the voters.

3. Trump knows: It’s the Economy stupid!

dollar-544956_640As they say in America: It’s the Economy stupid! If you just followed news around his rallies and speeches, then you’d conclude that he just talks about hate, race and religion. That’s not the case. He seems absolutely obsessed with trade. He keeps talking about it.

He talks of the trade deficit and attacks what he calls Obama’s “disastrous” trade policies. He makes statements like “The great American middle class is disappearing” and that goes down well with the electorate.

He talks a lot about the economy vis-à-vis China and Mexico. While the media focus on his anti-Muslim rhetoric, the voters are listening to something else.

4. Trump has taken on the US media and won.

There was a time the media was a big factor in who went ahead and who didn’t. However that has drastically changed in the last few years. Modi fought the media and won. Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu is hated in the foreign press.

The British press preferred Labour over David Cameron. They all defied the media and won. Trump is the latest media hate target and so far they are losing against him like they have against other foreign leaders.

Social media is also a great counter. Obama is the giant of Twitter. Modi is number 2. They represent the two largest democracies in the world. @HillaryClinton at 5.7 million is ahead of @BernieSanders at 1.75 million.

And @tedcruz at under 1 million is trailing the leader of this US Presidential race on both sides: @realDonaldTrump at 7 million.

5. Trump is seen as a counter to Islamic terrorism.

America always needs an enemy to hate. After World War 2 dictator Adolf Hitler, they turned to Communism. After the USSR collapsed in 1991, they slowly veered towards Islamic terrorism.

Trump has caught the pulse of the American people. 9/11 may be distant, but not totally forgotten. The European migrant crisis has created a scare. There were terrorists in Paris and the San Bernardino shooting further fuelled the fears.

There is a chance the American voters may vote whoever they think can counter America’s No. 1 enemy and Trump just may fit the bill.

6. Everyone hates Hillary and Trump is the best counter.

cartoon-2026564_640Who would have thought that a hitherto unknown old Communist Jew called Bernie Sanders would give Democratic frontrunner Hillary Clinton such a scare. Had Hillary not got so many super delegates in advance, the fight might have been much closer.

The American people have serious trust issues with Hillary and she fares poorly in polls where such issues feature. Hillary is the perfect establishment candidate. Trump is the perfect outsider counter.

7. Trump is riding on a global Right wave.

As mentioned above: Modi, Netanyahu, Cameron… the Right is rising all over the world. Right-wing parties are also making great gains in Europe. While Communism collapsed in 1991, the 2010s is finally seeing Right politicians becoming popular.

8. Trump is an unabashed Capitalist living the American Dream.

He’s worth more than $4 billion. He’s built an empire. He’s been a successful TV reality show host. Trump is an unabashed Capitalist living the American Dream and again most American voters appreciate that.

In America they say that anyone can become a billionaire and anyone can make President. Trump is proving that anyone can become a billionaire President! Trump is blunt and arrogant… like most Americans. Maybe that’s why so many identify with him!

© Sunil Rajguru

Related stories…

Modi to Trump—Spectacular rise of the global Right

Eerie similarities between reactions to Modi and Trump…

Why Trump Haters Could Well End Up Making Him President

Trump musings…

US Presidential poll musings…

8 reasons why Hillary is a total goner for Prez

#T20WorldCup2016 musings…

After playing for 20 years, teenager Shahid Afridi says “Picture abhi baaki hain mere dost”, and probably wants to play for 20 more years.

Sometimes you’re the pigeon and sometimes you’re the statue…
Aus hit record ODI score.
SA surpass it on same day.
SA hit record WC T20 score.
Eng surpass it on same day.

England scored a whopping 412 runs in their first 2 T20 matches and were still 2 wickets away from Zero points!
‪#‎EngVsWI‬ ‪#‎EngVsSA‬ ‪#‎T20WC2016‬

The Indian top order either plays till the end or crashes at the first hurdle.
They know no Middle Path.
‪#‎T20Cricket‬ ‪#‎RohitShikharVirat‬ ‪#‎T20WC2016‬

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Pappu and AntiModi musings…

First you win (2009), then they fight you (2010-11), then they laugh at you (2012-14), then they ignore you (2015-16).
—Pappu on the people of India.

India is Indira. Indira is India.
Nothing is Pappu. Pappu is nothing.

Everybody will get their 15 minutes of fame.
Modi Hater remix…
Everybody should get their 15 minutes of Modi bashing.
(Yuhi kat jaayenge paanch saal!)

1932: British Prime Minister declares Communal Award.
2015: Every Award declared Communal under Indian Prime Minister.

The bitter truth.
Nehru/Indira/Rajiv/Manmohan/Rao/Vajpayee didn’t remove Article 377.
Modi may or may not remove it by the end of his term.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Trump musings…

American Dream.
1. Anyone can become President.
2. Anyone can become a billionaire.
Anyone can become a billionaire President.

So far…
Trump fighting Cruz-Rubio-Kasich + Republican Establishment + Media + Intellectuals + Left and still winning.

Sanders’ supporters disrupt Trump rally.
Economist says Trump worse than jehadi terrorism.
Trump’s son gets death threat.
Media: It’s Trump’s fault!

Sanders’ supporters disrupt Trump rally.
Media targets Trump for that.
Typical Communist action and Communist media reaction.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

The truth about the industry of the Left…

CPI-CPM = Left.

AISA-AISF = Left Academy.

Congress = Left Lite.

TMC = Left Ultra.

Media = Left News.

#AdarshLiberal = Left Liberal.

Naxalite = Left Terrorist.

Maoist = Left Terrorist.

Lutyens’ Delhi = Left Delhi.

Intellectual = Left Word.

Secular = Left Religion.

Freedom of Speech = Freedom of Left.

Troll = Opponent of Left.

Jawaharlal Nehru University = Karl Marx University.

Extreme violence by Left = Mr India (Nobody can see it).

© Sunil Rajguru

Communism and JNU musings…

Communism promises 100% and delivers 0%.
Capitalism promises 50% and delivers 25%.

We produce political leaders.
We conduct political rallies.
We shout slogans.
We take on the Right Wing.
We rage.
And studying? What’s that? LOL!

Marx 1848.
Lenin 1917.
Mao 1948.
Basu 1977.
Mamata 2010.
Kejri 2013.
Kanhaiya 2016.
Communism can fool you and fool you and fool you…

Idea of Dynasty.
Idea of Sonia.
Idea of Pappu.
Idea of Communism.
Idea of Naxalism.
Idea of anti-Indianism.
Anything but Idea of India.

Jaitley-Gadkari are ex-ABVP.
1000 times greater chance that ABVP will produce PM than AISF.
So give 1000 times more coverage to Kanhaiya!

The Intolerance Trilogy…
2014: Fellowship of Intolerance. (Post LS polls)
2015: Two Towers of Intolerance. (Delhi & Bihar polls)
2016: Return of Intolerance. (Multi-State polls)

Advani will stop him!
Result: Margdarshak Mandal.
Kejri will stop him!
Result: 4/543.
Hardik will stop him!
Result: Jailed indefinitely.
Kanhaiya will stop him!
Result: Coming soon.

Congress versus CPM.
The ultimate Battle of the Losers.

Chautala took bail for one thing and then started campaigning in polls.
Bail cancelled.
Will same thing now happen to Kanhaiya?

1. Do politics instead of studying.
2. Practise destructive Communism.
3. Organize anti-India event.
4. Get arrested.
Become national hero!!!

These versions by Sunil Rajguru