The leader with the most Twitter followers shalt win

Nowadays in democracies, Twitter seems to be playing a great role and whoever with the most Twitter followers simply wins the elections and consolidates after that. It’s almost a cent per cent record.

First take the case of US President Barack Obama (https://twitter.com/BarackObama). At around 75 million followers he is in a league of his own. But in 2008 he was a rank non-entity and he was supposed to stand absolutely no chance against Hillary Clinton. But Hillary wasn’t even on Twitter then and was soundly thrashed by Obama who debuted on Twitter in 2007 a year after its launch.

Obama thrashed Mitt Romney (https://twitter.com/MittRomney) who after being on Twitter for a good seven years is yet to cross the 2 million mark. This year’s US Presidential race saw no surprises too.

Hillary (https://twitter.com/HillaryClinton) beat Bernie Sanders (https://twitter.com/berniesanders) on Twitter by 7.2 million to 2.7 million. The same thing happened in the offline world and Hillary got the Democratic ticket.

Absolutely nobody gave Donald Trump a chance in the Republican race with many saying he wouldn’t even make it to the Top 5. But on Twitter he (https://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump) thrashes Ted Cruz (https://twitter.com/tedcruz) by 9.4 million to 1.3 million, again a no contest which played itself out in the offline world.

Now also the mainstream media is staunchly behind Hillary, but it is usually social media which proves to be the deciding factor in the end. Trump is way ahead on the Twitter count, so you can’t count him out!

The Number 2 global politician on Twitter is Indian Prime Minister Narendra Modi (@narendramodi) with 20.6 million followers. His rival Rahul Gandhi wasn’t even on Twitter. That also showed in the offline world when Modi’s BJP thrashed Rahul’s Congress by a whopping seat margin of 282-44 in the Parliamentary elections.

Susilo Bambang Yudhoyono (@SBYudhoyono) has 9.1 million followers and he won his two Indonesian Presidential terms. Recep Tayyip Erdoğan (@RT_Erdogan) has 8.5 followers and he has been Prime Minister/President of Turkey since 2003.

Premiers David Cameron of UK and Benjamin Netanyahu of Israel were predicted by the mainstream media of losing their respective elections, but they won. Not surprisingly they are Twitter leaders in their political worlds.

Most of the politicians are national leaders, but regional head honcho and New Delhi Chief Minister Arvind Kejriwal (@ArvindKejriwal) is biggie in the Twitter world with 8.1 million followers and that’s why he won 67/70 Assembly seats in the 2015 Delhi elections!

So whenever you want to watch a democratic election keep your eyes firmly on the Twitter followers of every leader, for it appears that the latest commandment is…

The leader with the most Twitter followers shalt win!

© Sunil Rajguru

In how many steps can you reach Modi?

Udta Punjab shows how bad the situation of Punjab is.
Punjab is ruled by the Badals.
Badals are aligned with the BJP.
BJP = Modi!

Udta Punjab was almost banned by censor board.
Censor board chief is Pahalaj Nihalini.
Nihalini was appointed by I&B Ministry.
I&B Minister reports to Modi.

Or simply…

Dadri is a sign of worsening law and order in the country.
This country is ruled by Modi.

There is intolerance in the country.
This country is ruled by Modi.

The economy of this country is going nowhere.
This country is ruled by Modi.

© Sunil Rajguru

#Brexit musings…

In 2014, 31% Indians became bigots.
In 2016, 52% Brits became bigots.
Let’s see what % of Americans become bigots by 2016 end.
‪#‎ThoseLiberals‬!

Referendums…
1. Scottish Independence.
2. Scotland joining EU.
3. Ireland unification.
4. United Ireland joining EU.
Then final one for…
5. England rejoining EU.

The referendum should have had three choices…
1. Leave.
2. Remain.
3. I don’t know what the hell all this really means.
3. might have won hands down.

Options they want to put in the next referendum…
1. Remain (prosperous).
2. Leave (and get ruined).
‪#‎Brexit2‬

Model employee.
UK Prime Minister David Cameron gracefully resigned from his post and gave his country a 3-month notice period.

The end of every winter in Britain should henceforth be called ‪#‎BrrrExit‬.

(m)E(o)U(t)
‪#‎BrexitInFiveLetters‬

If Spain quits the EU, then it’ll be one helluva
Hasta la vista baby!

Scotland.
c/o UK.
c/o EU.
UK: Chuck c/o EU.
Scotland: Chuck c/o UK.

Merkel lets in refugees.
Scaremongering.
GB exits EU.
Cameron quits.
Scotland may quit.
More referendum calls.
German chancellors & Europe!

India to Britain…
‪#‎Brexit‬ ho gaya, theek hai.
Ab ‪#‎Mallyaexit‬ kara do.

Out of touch?
99% media opposed Brexit.
52% Brits supported it.
99% media opposed Trump.
45% Republicans voted for him—Against 25% for Cruz.

After ‪#‎Brexit‬ will come ‪#‎Branxiety‬.

Advice for future referendums…
Have a Best of 5 series of referendums over a period of one year to let it sink in for the voters.

You can’t have a second referendum.
If Remain wins, then Leave will push for Best of 3 and even force a national crisis.

It seems…
52% voters in Great Britain support Brexit.
99% of people outside oppose it.
But as they say…
Only the wearer knows where the shoe pinches.

Why we have anti-intellectualism.
Trump, 52% voters support Brexit.
Cameron, Obama, 48% oppose.
Intellectuals: Trump, 52% should be ashamed!

It is not anti-intellectualism.
People are totally tired of the lies intellectuals have been telling them for decades.
‪#‎Brexit‬ ‪#‎Trump‬

EU: You look tired. Do you want to take leave?
GB: Permanent leave please.

After Brexit, people are asking, who is next?
So that should be called ‪#‎Nexit‬.
Or ‪#‎Whoisnexit‬.

1. England.
2. Britain.
3. UK.
4. EU
Now in reverse.
4. Out of EU.
3. ‪#‎Scotexit‬ looming to make it Disunited Kingdom.
2…

Traditional media fought against Modi, Trump’s Republican nomination and Brexit.
Lost on all fronts.
Hillary has 100% media support.
She should be very afraid.

If they are having second thoughts, they can have another referendum and call it ‪#‎Brexitexit‬.

United Kingdom beats United Europe.
Britain is Great without EU.
Leave letter trumps Stay order.
Cameroff for Prime Minister?

Crazy predictions in 2010…
Modi to be PM.
Ex-IRS officer to be Delhi CM.
Leicester City to win Premier League.
Britain to leave EU.
Trump to be US President.

#‎NobelPeacePrize‬
EU wins—Collapses.
Obama wins—West Asia collapses.
Mohammed Yunus wins—Charged with fraud.
Kofi Annan wins—In oil for food scam.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Modi bashing musings…

Only sitting PM to give interview to private channel.
World’s No. 2 Twitter politician.
Innovative monthly Mann ki Baat.
1000+ speeches already.
Verdict: He doesn’t communicate!

Congress: You are biased! You interviewed Modi!
Arnab: OK, let me interview Pappu once again!
Congress: Arre, aap to serious ho gaye!

So basically if India wins, it’s so what?
But if India loses, it’s Modi’s humiliation.
‪#‎NSG‬

Amazing how many Indians are cheering India’s loss.
I guess for them Modi is India. India is Modi.
Indira worshippers can’t think any different.
‪#‎NSG‬

Modi cleaning up the mess.
Hater—Kyun kar rahe ho ye sab? Nehru ka kachra bhi sundar hai!
‪#‎NSG‬

Today is “International Yoga Day”.
Every day is “National I Won’t Support Whatever Modi Supports Day”.

When anything goes wrong.
Pre-2014…
Bhagwaan jaane kya ho raha hai. Uski marzi.
Post-2014…
Modi jaane kya ho raha hai. Uski galti.

First they attacked Modi directly, then his right hand Shah.
Then they fired from shoulders of Kejri, Lalu and even Kanhaiya.
Now even Arnab bashing will do!

Is Kejri a politician or an anti-Modi propagandist?

‪#‎NSG‬ was formed as a reaction to Pokhran-I.
So when we finally enter it, I guess Congress will give Indira credit.

Right hands.
Nehru’s held no post (Indira).
Vajpayee’s was his Principal Secretary.
Sonia’s is the non-entity Ahmed Patel.
Modi’s is the BJP President.

‪#‎NSG‬ = Nehru Se Gaya.
NSG phir gaya = Nehru ke vanshaj naach rahe hai.
Permanent security council seat bhi Nehru se gaya.
Woh nahin mila to dugna naachenge.

It has reached such a dire situation that if India has a war with an enemy country, “they” would support the enemy just to spite Modi.
‪#‎NSG‬

Arguments being readied…
1. He couldn’t even get NSG.
2. We don’t need no NSG.
3. NSG got because of efforts of past governments.

2019 slogan.
Pappu. Pappini. Vadra. Kejri. Kanhaiya. Lalu. Nitish. Mamata.
Anyone for PM but Modi.

This is called offline trolling.
First let Rajan go.
Then immediately announce major reforms.
Sensex khush hua.Indian Politics 101

Pre-2014…
Dancer is censor chief.
Multiple film cuts and bans are nobody’s fault.
Post-2014…
Every cut and ban is Modi’s fault.

Hardline supporters of zero-qualified UPA debacle mastermind shall be called intellectuals.
Mild supporters of self-made Modi shall be called trolls.

2009.
Pappu will get 272 next time. Wah wah!
2014.
Modi gets 282 but…
31% mandate! Hate politics.
2016.
Still secretly praying for Pappu.
Still fighting Modi.

Hound an elected CM for 12 years, then refuse to accept people’s verdict making him PM = True democracy.
Merely don’t review RBI Governor term = Democracy under threat.

Chetan Chauhan’s appointment was decided by Gangwar, not Modi.
But Rajan’s exit was decided by Modi, not Swamy.
Outrage accordingly.

Sonia-MMS hired all jokers.
No problem with 0%.
Modi hired good Foreign, Railways, Power, Infrastructure Ministers…
But they want 100%.

Sonia is most unqualified Congress President in its history.
Pappu will break that record.
But outrage 24X7 over every appointment under Modi.

It appears that Pappu took a vow in 2009 to destroy the Congress in 10 years.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Kejri nahin sudhrega musings…

Kejri tomorrow…
What’s Modi doing?
Obama, investigate with UN Secretary General, consult with Pope and report to me.
Pranab, you’re sacked!

Wannabe Prime Minister.
Officially Chief Minister.
Unofficially Mayor.
Practically doing nothing for Delhi, but only making things worse.

Kejri has great foresight.
In 2011 he demanded Right to Recall.
He knew it would be priceless in kicking out lousy politicians like him.

Delhi went from Dixit in 2013 to deep shit in 2016.

BJP has 280 seats in Lok Sabha and no-one else in 3-digits.
7 parties are in 2-digits.
Snow White and the Seven Dwarves.
AAP not even a dwarf, but gets a Giant’s coverage.

The only promise Kejri kept…
There will be no corrupt Congress MLAs in the Delhi Assembly.

Kejri rich person’s kid who can’t be kicked out of school.
Jung class monitor.
Modi principal.
Ye nautanki chalti rahegi.

If Kejri makes PM, he’ll attack the Prez.
If Kejri makes Prez, he’ll attack the PM.
But he’ll be happiest as UN Secy Gen as then he’ll attack 200 Heads of State!

Kejri’s political role models…
1. Lalu.
2. Sonia.
3. Mulayam.
4. Mamata.

#‎PaanchSaalKejriwal‬
26% loaded.
74% left.
At 100% Delhi will self-destruct.

Britain discussing Brexit.
Economists discussing R3exit.
Many Delhiites wondering if they can get Kejrexit before 2020.

By 2020, Delhiites will be spending hardly anything on water and power.
Not because they will be free, but because they’ll hardly be there.

Only Yugpurush Kejri can solve Delhi’s entire water crisis just by sending out a Tweet and getting a journalist sacked.

Top Indian politicians on Twitter…
1. Modi 20 million.
2. Kejri 8 million.
3. Sushma 5 million.
Kejri sees himself as Modi’s natural successor.

Manmohan with 27% MPs in the Lok Sabha ran the government for 5 years.
Kejri with 96% MLAs in the Assembly is facing total breakdown after 1+ year.

Every day Sheila Dixit gets up, watches the news and bangs her head against the wall saying, “They chose this joker over me?”

Forget Ram Rajya.
Very soon Delhiites will start agitating for a return of Sheila Rajya.

Kejri took the “dog ate my homework” and “sir, I’m late but so was he!” from school to the adult political world.

Those responsible for Delhi mess…
Prez.
PM.
LG.
Ambani.
Police.
Opposition.
CBI.
ACB.
Past CMs.
Media.
Everyone except current Delhi CM.

Sir, postman aaya hai.
Kejri—Modi se main nahin darta.
Sir, aapko gas hua hai.
Kejri—Modi se main nahin darta.
Sir, earthquake!
Kejri—Modi se main nahin darta.

At this rate, the MLAs will soon break into two large groups…
AAP (Free) (But still lawless) & AAP (Jailed).
Basically, Bihar and Tihar.

In Kejri’s parallel universe, he’s global President and the whole world bows out of fear to him.

After masterminding 2011 August Kranti, the resulting events ended up making Modi PM and Kejri CM.
Kejri feels cheated and wants to rectify.

Kejri should be declared the patron saint of @TheUnRealTimes and @fakingnews.
Whatever he does is surreal, unreal and feels like fake news.

Forget Modi, so far Kejri is not even 10% of Sheila Dixit.
If he surpasses anyone or anything, then its only Pappu’s nonsense.

When Kejri hugged Lalu, irony was singing…
Chor ka chor se ho bhaichaara!

Kejri has bungled his party seniors, water, electricity, garbage, ties with L-G, office of profit, governance…
We can call it Bungle Raj.

AAP: Delhi Police has a law and order problem.
Delhi Police: AAP is our biggest law and order problem.
AAP: See, they have a problem! We said so!

All AAP MLAs seem more desperate to go to Tihar than to work.

nA̲utA̲nki P̲arty

Those asking for ‪#‎Dexit‬ should realize that Dikshit was far far better.
‪#‎Kejri‬

Kejri has 0% control over Modi but will spend 50% time talking about him.
On the issues Kejri has 100% control over, he’ll spend the remaining 50% time blaming Modi.

After 2014 infamous Kejri midnight dharna, BJP-Congress-Third Front will never give statehood to Delhi.
Too risky.
Referendum not happening.

So what if there are water, power and garbage problems in Delhi?
I̶n̶d̶i̶a̶ Modi lost NSG.
That’s all that matters.
‪#‎Kejri‬

Kejri believes that Delhexit took place from India in 2015 and that’s why he behaves like the ruler of an Independent republic.

Kejri is competition with…
1. Prime Minister of India.
2. President of America.
3. United Nations Secretary general.
Ye Delhi kya cheez hai?

Scary that once Congress implodes, its space will be taken by Kejri-AAP.
They were always “replacement for” not “alternative to” Congress.We risk becoming what we hate.
—Desmond Tutu.
Remember how much Kejri and his team hated bad corrupt lying scheming politicians in 2011?

New phrase.
Delhi ki janata gayi tel* aur pani** lene.
*for generator
**from tanker

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

News is all about presentation.

It all depends on how you write the headlines…
2G/Ishrat/Karti scams tainted Chidambaram supports Rajan.
Nalanda University scam tainted Amartya supports Rajan.
NH scam tainted Pappu supports Rajan.
NH scam tainted Pitroda supports Rajan.
Ford Foundation linked Narayana Murthy supports Rajan.
Corruption crusader Swamy targets Rajan.

© Sunil Rajguru

Nehru-Gandhi dynasty musings…

Nehru foreign policy.
Don’t want
1. UNSC seat.
2. N-deal.
3. Official alliances.
4. Help from Israel.
Followers: Wah wah!
(He once sad he didn’t want the army either)
Modi trying for the same.
Haters: Loser!

#‎ChinaExposed‬ has been going on for 54 years, beginning with the 1962 war.
Nehru was blind to it and Indian Communists still love China.

Don’t worry, by 2019, we will get both NSGs.
India in “Nuclear Suppliers Group”.
“No Sonia Gandhi” politics in India.

Congressis and their supporters will celebrate Indira Gandhi’s Emergency Day today by calling Modi a dictator.

Nehru-Gandhi Dynasty.
Before…
You are either for us or against us.
Now…
You are either for us or for Modi.

Rao ruled from 1991-96.
Sonia ruled from 2004-14.
Manmohan was nothing but a programmable robot for both.
You can use a robot for good or bad.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Twitterverse musings…

According to sources*.
* 1960s: Real flesh and blood sources.
2000s: Made up sources to suit the news.
2010s: Twitter.

There should be something called “Reverse Troll” when you troll your troller in grand style.

Write 280 characters.
Tweet the second half.
ReTweet it adding the first 140 characters as comments allowed.
People will read it as a Tweet of 280 characters.

Traditional media.
Traditional politicians.
Traditional economic unions.
All falling like nine pins.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

BJP-Congress Lok Sabha numbers…

India became 2-party system in 1989.
Since then…
Lowest Lok Sabha seats.
BJP: 85. Congress: 44.
Highest Lok Sabha seats.
BJP: 282. Congress:244.

Performance in last 6 Lok Sabha Elections.
Lowest.
BJP: 116. Congress: 44.
Highest.
BJP: 282. Congress:206.

Congress + BJP = 272+ in Lok Sabha since 1989…
1989 = 282.
1991 = 364.
1996 = 301.
1998 = 323.
1999 = 296.
2004 = 283.
2009 = 322.
2014 = 326.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Real issues be damned, just rubbish Brexit!

A report says that people in their sixties voted the most for Brexit. (Great Britain’s exit from the European Union)
Think it over.
Most of these people were in their twenties in 1973 when Great Britain joined the European Economic Union (EEC) which subsequently became the EU.
This generation started working in the new order and spent a career in it and retired in it. Aren’t they then the most qualified people to decide whether Great Britain should remain part of the EU or not?
And yet the rest of the world is by and large rubbishing them.
Some are saying the democratic process has failed. One even asked 60+ plus people to be banned from voting!
Whether it’s Indian Prime Minister Narendra Modi, American Republican nominee Donald Trump or Brexit, it has become quite fashionable to nowadays to rubbish the democratic voting process which with all its faults is a hundred times better than military dictatorships, religious States and Communist countries. (Also ironic that many fierce critics are Communist intellectuals)
What has been US President Barack Obama’s contributon to the plight of immigrants of Europe? No need for the common person to debate that.
All you have to do is rubbish Trump’s likely future policies.
How are a few dozen Indian politicians ruining India beyond repair? No need to debate that, just rubbish Modi.
How did the EU help Greece? How will German Chancellor Angela Merkel’s open door policy affect Europe in the long run? Will it destroy it? No need to debate that, just rubbish Brexit. Did immigration play a key role in Brexit? Just label the “Leave”voters bigots and move on.
A Prime Minister called an election. 70+% people voted. 50+% wanted Brexit. The PM resigned because he didn’t agree.
No violence. No riots. No murders. No political prisoners. This is still the best way we have of making decisions.
And yet so many people are still frothing at the mouth!

Do the TV Royals have the worst security in the history of fictional monarchy?

Reference: The Royals (TV series)  (Caution: Spoilers!)

The Crown Prince is assassinated. The King is knifed to death. The new King spends the first few minutes of his reign being pummeled by the Prince and takes the dead King’s ring with a bloody face. The Prince is kidnapped by his friends just like that. Both the male and female lovers of the Princess are thieves who gain access to her with the click of a finger. The former is even her ex-bodyguard while the latter steals the Kohinoor in a dumb low grade heist. On being caught the Princess instead of throwing them in jail lets them get away as if they’ve merely jumped a traffic signal. She even rewards the thief with her jewellery. The chief of security is a murderer. The new King’s secretary takes flak for the murder of the former King so he can make sure that the real killer will never be caught. The enemies of the monarchy can infiltrate at will even doing fancy light shows in the palace. The Royal Palace is like Waterloo Station during peak time where just about anyone can come in and out. (And they have probably better security too!)

© Sunil Rajguru

This is how the Hillary-Trump debates will go…

Actual Twitter exchange between US Presidential Republican candidate Donald Trump and Democrat candidate Hillary Clinton

Trump: Obama just endorsed Crooked Hillary. He wants four more years of Obama—but nobody else does!

Hillary:  Delete your account.

Trump: How long did it take your staff of 823 people to think that up–and where are your 33,000 emails that you deleted?

So, this is how the Hillary-Trump debates will go then…

Hillary: You have made money from a corrupt private system.
Trump: You have made money from a corrupt government system.

Hillary: You should be jailed for your comments.
Trump: You should be jailed for your deeds.

Hillary: You are a misogynist.
Trump: Your husband is a bigger misogynist and you’re standing on his shoulders.

Hillary: You are a hated man!
Trump: You are more hated!

Hillary: Your party hates you!
Trump: So does yours!

Hillary: You will be a disaster as President!
Trump: You will be a bigger disaster!

Hillary: Your foreign policy will be a joke when you become President.
Trump: You foreign policy was a bigger joke when you were Secretary of State.

Hillary: You are a polarizing figure.
Trump: You are more polarizing.