The leader with the most Twitter followers shalt win

twitter-848528_640Nowadays in democracies, Twitter seems to be playing a great role and whoever with the most Twitter followers simply wins the elections and consolidates after that. It’s almost a cent per cent record.

First take the case of US President Barack Obama (https://twitter.com/BarackObama). At around 75 million followers he is in a league of his own. But in 2008 he was a rank non-entity and he was supposed to stand absolutely no chance against Hillary Clinton. But Hillary wasn’t even on Twitter then and was soundly thrashed by Obama who debuted on Twitter in 2007 a year after its launch.

Obama thrashed Mitt Romney (https://twitter.com/MittRomney) who after being on Twitter for a good seven years is yet to cross the 2 million mark. This year’s US Presidential race saw no surprises too.

Hillary (https://twitter.com/HillaryClinton) beat Bernie Sanders (https://twitter.com/berniesanders) on Twitter by 7.2 million to 2.7 million. The same thing happened in the offline world and Hillary got the Democratic ticket.

Absolutely nobody gave Donald Trump a chance in the Republican race with many saying he wouldn’t even make it to the Top 5. But on Twitter he (https://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump) thrashes Ted Cruz (https://twitter.com/tedcruz) by 9.4 million to 1.3 million, again a no contest which played itself out in the offline world.

Now also the mainstream media is staunchly behind Hillary, but it is usually social media which proves to be the deciding factor in the end. Trump is way ahead on the Twitter count, so you can’t count him out!

The Number 2 global politician on Twitter is Indian Prime Minister Narendra Modi (@narendramodi) with 20.6 million followers. His rival Rahul Gandhi wasn’t even on Twitter. That also showed in the offline world when Modi’s BJP thrashed Rahul’s Congress by a whopping seat margin of 282-44 in the Parliamentary elections.

Susilo Bambang Yudhoyono (@SBYudhoyono) has 9.1 million followers and he won his two Indonesian Presidential terms. Recep Tayyip Erdoğan (@RT_Erdogan) has 8.5 followers and he has been Prime Minister/President of Turkey since 2003.

Premiers David Cameron of UK and Benjamin Netanyahu of Israel were predicted by the mainstream media of losing their respective elections, but they won. Not surprisingly they are Twitter leaders in their political worlds.

Most of the politicians are national leaders, but regional head honcho and New Delhi Chief Minister Arvind Kejriwal (@ArvindKejriwal) is biggie in the Twitter world with 8.1 million followers and that’s why he won 67/70 Assembly seats in the 2015 Delhi elections!

So whenever you want to watch a democratic election keep your eyes firmly on the Twitter followers of every leader, for it appears that the latest commandment is…

The leader with the most Twitter followers shalt win!

© Sunil Rajguru

In how many steps can you reach Modi?

Udta Punjab shows how bad the situation of Punjab is.
Punjab is ruled by the Badals.
Badals are aligned with the BJP.
BJP = Modi!

Udta Punjab was almost banned by censor board.
Censor board chief is Pahalaj Nihalini.
Nihalini was appointed by I&B Ministry.
I&B Minister reports to Modi.

Or simply…

Dadri is a sign of worsening law and order in the country.
This country is ruled by Modi.

There is intolerance in the country.
This country is ruled by Modi.

The economy of this country is going nowhere.
This country is ruled by Modi.

© Sunil Rajguru

#Brexit musings…

eu-1473958_640In 2014, 31% Indians became bigots.
In 2016, 52% Brits became bigots.
Let’s see what % of Americans become bigots by 2016 end.
‪#‎ThoseLiberals‬!

Referendums…
1. Scottish Independence.
2. Scotland joining EU.
3. Ireland unification.
4. United Ireland joining EU.
Then final one for…
5. England rejoining EU.

The referendum should have had three choices…
1. Leave.
2. Remain.
3. I don’t know what the hell all this really means.
3. might have won hands down.

Options they want to put in the next referendum…
1. Remain (prosperous).
2. Leave (and get ruined).
‪#‎Brexit2‬

Model employee.
UK Prime Minister David Cameron gracefully resigned from his post and gave his country a 3-month notice period.

The end of every winter in Britain should henceforth be called ‪#‎BrrrExit‬.

(m)E(o)U(t)
‪#‎BrexitInFiveLetters‬

If Spain quits the EU, then it’ll be one helluva
Hasta la vista baby!

Scotland.
c/o UK.
c/o EU.
UK: Chuck c/o EU.
Scotland: Chuck c/o UK.

Merkel lets in refugees.
Scaremongering.
GB exits EU.
Cameron quits.
Scotland may quit.
More referendum calls.
German chancellors & Europe!

India to Britain…
‪#‎Brexit‬ ho gaya, theek hai.
Ab ‪#‎Mallyaexit‬ kara do.

Out of touch?
99% media opposed Brexit.
52% Brits supported it.
99% media opposed Trump.
45% Republicans voted for him—Against 25% for Cruz.

After ‪#‎Brexit‬ will come ‪#‎Branxiety‬.

Advice for future referendums…
Have a Best of 5 series of referendums over a period of one year to let it sink in for the voters.

You can’t have a second referendum.
If Remain wins, then Leave will push for Best of 3 and even force a national crisis.

It seems…
52% voters in Great Britain support Brexit.
99% of people outside oppose it.
But as they say…
Only the wearer knows where the shoe pinches.

Why we have anti-intellectualism.
Trump, 52% voters support Brexit.
Cameron, Obama, 48% oppose.
Intellectuals: Trump, 52% should be ashamed!

It is not anti-intellectualism.
People are totally tired of the lies intellectuals have been telling them for decades.
‪#‎Brexit‬ ‪#‎Trump‬

EU: You look tired. Do you want to take leave?
GB: Permanent leave please.

After Brexit, people are asking, who is next?
So that should be called ‪#‎Nexit‬.
Or ‪#‎Whoisnexit‬.

1. England.
2. Britain.
3. UK.
4. EU
Now in reverse.
4. Out of EU.
3. ‪#‎Scotexit‬ looming to make it Disunited Kingdom.
2…

Traditional media fought against Modi, Trump’s Republican nomination and Brexit.
Lost on all fronts.
Hillary has 100% media support.
She should be very afraid.

If they are having second thoughts, they can have another referendum and call it ‪#‎Brexitexit‬.

United Kingdom beats United Europe.
Britain is Great without EU.
Leave letter trumps Stay order.
Cameroff for Prime Minister?

Crazy predictions in 2010…
Modi to be PM.
Ex-IRS officer to be Delhi CM.
Leicester City to win Premier League.
Britain to leave EU.
Trump to be US President.

#‎NobelPeacePrize‬
EU wins—Collapses.
Obama wins—West Asia collapses.
Mohammed Yunus wins—Charged with fraud.
Kofi Annan wins—In oil for food scam.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Modi bashing musings…

Only sitting PM to give interview to private channel.
World’s No. 2 Twitter politician.
Innovative monthly Mann ki Baat.
1000+ speeches already.
Verdict: He doesn’t communicate!

Congress: You are biased! You interviewed Modi!
Arnab: OK, let me interview Pappu once again!
Congress: Arre, aap to serious ho gaye!

So basically if India wins, it’s so what?
But if India loses, it’s Modi’s humiliation.
‪#‎NSG‬

Amazing how many Indians are cheering India’s loss.
I guess for them Modi is India. India is Modi.
Indira worshippers can’t think any different.
‪#‎NSG‬

Modi cleaning up the mess.
Hater—Kyun kar rahe ho ye sab? Nehru ka kachra bhi sundar hai!
‪#‎NSG‬

Today is “International Yoga Day”.
Every day is “National I Won’t Support Whatever Modi Supports Day”.

When anything goes wrong.
Pre-2014…
Bhagwaan jaane kya ho raha hai. Uski marzi.
Post-2014…
Modi jaane kya ho raha hai. Uski galti.

First they attacked Modi directly, then his right hand Shah.
Then they fired from shoulders of Kejri, Lalu and even Kanhaiya.
Now even Arnab bashing will do!

Is Kejri a politician or an anti-Modi propagandist?

‪#‎NSG‬ was formed as a reaction to Pokhran-I.
So when we finally enter it, I guess Congress will give Indira credit.

Right hands.
Nehru’s held no post (Indira).
Vajpayee’s was his Principal Secretary.
Sonia’s is the non-entity Ahmed Patel.
Modi’s is the BJP President.

‪#‎NSG‬ = Nehru Se Gaya.
NSG phir gaya = Nehru ke vanshaj naach rahe hai.
Permanent security council seat bhi Nehru se gaya.
Woh nahin mila to dugna naachenge.

It has reached such a dire situation that if India has a war with an enemy country, “they” would support the enemy just to spite Modi.
‪#‎NSG‬

Arguments being readied…
1. He couldn’t even get NSG.
2. We don’t need no NSG.
3. NSG got because of efforts of past governments.

2019 slogan.
Pappu. Pappini. Vadra. Kejri. Kanhaiya. Lalu. Nitish. Mamata.
Anyone for PM but Modi.

This is called offline trolling.
First let Rajan go.
Then immediately announce major reforms.
Sensex khush hua.Indian Politics 101

Pre-2014…
Dancer is censor chief.
Multiple film cuts and bans are nobody’s fault.
Post-2014…
Every cut and ban is Modi’s fault.

Hardline supporters of zero-qualified UPA debacle mastermind shall be called intellectuals.
Mild supporters of self-made Modi shall be called trolls.

2009.
Pappu will get 272 next time. Wah wah!
2014.
Modi gets 282 but…
31% mandate! Hate politics.
2016.
Still secretly praying for Pappu.
Still fighting Modi.

Hound an elected CM for 12 years, then refuse to accept people’s verdict making him PM = True democracy.
Merely don’t review RBI Governor term = Democracy under threat.

Chetan Chauhan’s appointment was decided by Gangwar, not Modi.
But Rajan’s exit was decided by Modi, not Swamy.
Outrage accordingly.

Sonia-MMS hired all jokers.
No problem with 0%.
Modi hired good Foreign, Railways, Power, Infrastructure Ministers…
But they want 100%.

Sonia is most unqualified Congress President in its history.
Pappu will break that record.
But outrage 24X7 over every appointment under Modi.

It appears that Pappu took a vow in 2009 to destroy the Congress in 10 years.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Kejri nahin sudhrega musings…

Kejri tomorrow…
What’s Modi doing?
Obama, investigate with UN Secretary General, consult with Pope and report to me.
Pranab, you’re sacked!

Wannabe Prime Minister.
Officially Chief Minister.
Unofficially Mayor.
Practically doing nothing for Delhi, but only making things worse.

Kejri has great foresight.
In 2011 he demanded Right to Recall.
He knew it would be priceless in kicking out lousy politicians like him.

Delhi went from Dixit in 2013 to deep shit in 2016.

BJP has 280 seats in Lok Sabha and no-one else in 3-digits.
7 parties are in 2-digits.
Snow White and the Seven Dwarves.
AAP not even a dwarf, but gets a Giant’s coverage.

The only promise Kejri kept…
There will be no corrupt Congress MLAs in the Delhi Assembly.

Kejri rich person’s kid who can’t be kicked out of school.
Jung class monitor.
Modi principal.
Ye nautanki chalti rahegi.

If Kejri makes PM, he’ll attack the Prez.
If Kejri makes Prez, he’ll attack the PM.
But he’ll be happiest as UN Secy Gen as then he’ll attack 200 Heads of State!

Kejri’s political role models…
1. Lalu.
2. Sonia.
3. Mulayam.
4. Mamata.

#‎PaanchSaalKejriwal‬
26% loaded.
74% left.
At 100% Delhi will self-destruct.

Britain discussing Brexit.
Economists discussing R3exit.
Many Delhiites wondering if they can get Kejrexit before 2020.

By 2020, Delhiites will be spending hardly anything on water and power.
Not because they will be free, but because they’ll hardly be there.

Only Yugpurush Kejri can solve Delhi’s entire water crisis just by sending out a Tweet and getting a journalist sacked.

Top Indian politicians on Twitter…
1. Modi 20 million.
2. Kejri 8 million.
3. Sushma 5 million.
Kejri sees himself as Modi’s natural successor.

Manmohan with 27% MPs in the Lok Sabha ran the government for 5 years.
Kejri with 96% MLAs in the Assembly is facing total breakdown after 1+ year.

Every day Sheila Dixit gets up, watches the news and bangs her head against the wall saying, “They chose this joker over me?”

Forget Ram Rajya.
Very soon Delhiites will start agitating for a return of Sheila Rajya.

Kejri took the “dog ate my homework” and “sir, I’m late but so was he!” from school to the adult political world.

Those responsible for Delhi mess…
Prez.
PM.
LG.
Ambani.
Police.
Opposition.
CBI.
ACB.
Past CMs.
Media.
Everyone except current Delhi CM.

Sir, postman aaya hai.
Kejri—Modi se main nahin darta.
Sir, aapko gas hua hai.
Kejri—Modi se main nahin darta.
Sir, earthquake!
Kejri—Modi se main nahin darta.

At this rate, the MLAs will soon break into two large groups…
AAP (Free) (But still lawless) & AAP (Jailed).
Basically, Bihar and Tihar.

In Kejri’s parallel universe, he’s global President and the whole world bows out of fear to him.

After masterminding 2011 August Kranti, the resulting events ended up making Modi PM and Kejri CM.
Kejri feels cheated and wants to rectify.

Kejri should be declared the patron saint of @TheUnRealTimes and @fakingnews.
Whatever he does is surreal, unreal and feels like fake news.

Forget Modi, so far Kejri is not even 10% of Sheila Dixit.
If he surpasses anyone or anything, then its only Pappu’s nonsense.

When Kejri hugged Lalu, irony was singing…
Chor ka chor se ho bhaichaara!

Kejri has bungled his party seniors, water, electricity, garbage, ties with L-G, office of profit, governance…
We can call it Bungle Raj.

AAP: Delhi Police has a law and order problem.
Delhi Police: AAP is our biggest law and order problem.
AAP: See, they have a problem! We said so!

All AAP MLAs seem more desperate to go to Tihar than to work.

nA̲utA̲nki P̲arty

Those asking for ‪#‎Dexit‬ should realize that Dikshit was far far better.
‪#‎Kejri‬

Kejri has 0% control over Modi but will spend 50% time talking about him.
On the issues Kejri has 100% control over, he’ll spend the remaining 50% time blaming Modi.

After 2014 infamous Kejri midnight dharna, BJP-Congress-Third Front will never give statehood to Delhi.
Too risky.
Referendum not happening.

So what if there are water, power and garbage problems in Delhi?
I̶n̶d̶i̶a̶ Modi lost NSG.
That’s all that matters.
‪#‎Kejri‬

Kejri believes that Delhexit took place from India in 2015 and that’s why he behaves like the ruler of an Independent republic.

Kejri is competition with…
1. Prime Minister of India.
2. President of America.
3. United Nations Secretary general.
Ye Delhi kya cheez hai?

Scary that once Congress implodes, its space will be taken by Kejri-AAP.
They were always “replacement for” not “alternative to” Congress.We risk becoming what we hate.
—Desmond Tutu.
Remember how much Kejri and his team hated bad corrupt lying scheming politicians in 2011?

New phrase.
Delhi ki janata gayi tel* aur pani** lene.
*for generator
**from tanker

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

News is all about presentation.

It all depends on how you write the headlines…
2G/Ishrat/Karti scams tainted Chidambaram supports Rajan.
Nalanda University scam tainted Amartya supports Rajan.
NH scam tainted Pappu supports Rajan.
NH scam tainted Pitroda supports Rajan.
Ford Foundation linked Narayana Murthy supports Rajan.
Corruption crusader Swamy targets Rajan.

© Sunil Rajguru