Pakistan bilkul sudhrega nahin musings…

Pakistani Army most cowardly on Earth.
Loses all conventional wars.
Sends civilians (terrorists) to do its dirty deeds.
#Baramulla

Top 5 most powerful men in deciding Pakistan’s fate…
1. Obama.
2. General Sharif.
3. ISI Chief.
4. Hafiz Saeed.
5. Nawaz Sharif.
#SadButTrue

Pak vicious cycle…
1950s/60s: We will never forget Partition.
1970s-90s: We will never forget 1971.
Post-2000: We will never forget how a nuclear power was humiliated in Kargil.

Like Alcoholics Anonymous, Pakistan has a programme called Terrorists Anonymous.
They identify & train them but pretend they are anonymous.

1 bitter Partition—Millions dead/hurt/displaced.
4 wars—1947, 1965, 1971, 1999.
Hundreds of terror attacks.
You think peace will be simple?

India 1947-2016.
All we are saying is give peace a chance.
Pakistan 1947-99.
All we are saying is give war a chance.
Pakistan 1989-2016.
All we are saying is give terror a chance.

Pakistan has been attacking us for donkeys years.
This is retaliation, not escalation.
#SurgicalStrikesAgainstPak

Pakistan wants J&K in its entirety.
Have a million talks at a hundred levels.
How do you sort that out?
#AmanKiAshaIsChamanKiBhasha

Pakistan has been threatening India since 1947.
Sending terrorists since 1989.
Amazing how some Indians have problems with one #SurgicalStrike in 2016.

Number of those killed by Pakistani trained terrorists is greater than 9/11.
Reaction by India so far is not even 1% of America.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Engaging Pak over Kashmir…

Pak began Kashmir terror group policy 9 years before they officially became a nuclear power. A year after they lost a war.
N-threat is irrelevant, India’s tolerance the key.

The two biggest stakeholders of the Pakistani Army are America and terrorist groups.
The government is a mute spectator.
Who will you talk to?

Kashmir has already destroyed Pakistan and hasn’t even realized it and still claims Kashmir.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

How Modi should solve the Kashmir problem… #AdarshLiberals

Dear Prime Minister Narendra Modi,

You have to instantaneously solve the Kashmir problem. That’s what you were voted for. #AccheDin in Kashmir too.
For this remember….
1. You cannot declare war on Pakistan.
2. You can’t indulge in any form of conflict with them.
3. You can’t do hot pursuit into PoK which is in fact 100% Pakistani land.
4. You can’t even call Pakistan a terrorist state for the poor ole country is a victim of terror.
5. You can’t break economic ties with Pakistan.
6. Bus/train services should continue as should the exchange of artists/intellectuals/journalists.
7. Forget pellet guns, the entire Army should be withdrawn from Kashmir.
8. You cannot even dream of touching the Indus Water Treaty let along changing it.
9. All Pro-Pakistani elements in India should be strengthened.
10. All ultra-nationalists and those shouting pro-India slogans should be jailed.
11. Balochistan is a terrorist province troubling the poor peaceful people of Pakistan. Please leave the issue alone and stop raising it.
12. All terrorists in Pakistan are freedom fighters.
13. Please release all those accused of terrorism from Indian jails and abolish the death sentence only for terrorists.
14. Stop your stupid bravado and become more humble to Pakistan for it is a superior civilization.
15. Send our cricketers to Pakistan. If they are that patriotic then they should be able to brave bombs there. Get their cricketers here and give them double fees for IPL.
16. Never ever raise all the failings of all the Congress leaders from 1947-2014.
17. The spiritual homeland of our Communists is China, so behave with them too to solve the Pakistan problem.
18. America has ruined Pakistan, so stop your stupid bromance with Obama.
Please keep all these things in mind and solve the Kashmir problem immediately.
You have already been Prime Minister for a whopping 28 months now and have totally failed.
It might be a good idea to step down and get BJP to withdraw from the snap polls and let Pappu become Prime Minister and Kejri LoP. They are India’s only hopes.
No thanks and not much regards,
#AdarshLiberals

An Indian viewpoint on why Pakistan is 100% wrong on Kashmir…

1a. The British did not give Kashmir to Pakistan in 1947.

b. The Maharaja of Kashmir did not want to join Pakistan in 1947.

c. The popular leader Sheikh Abdullah did not want to join Kashmir in 1947.

2. Despite this Pakistan asserts that Kashmir is theirs.

3. India sought peace from the beginning, not making any attempts to regain Pakistan occupied Kashmir (PoK) from 1948 and signing a magnanimous one-sided Indus Water Treaty in 1960. It even offered the Plebiscite option in Kashmir should Pakistan vacate PoK, which it has point blank refused to even discuss thereby nullifying the proposed Plebiscite.

4. Despite this Pakistan keeps attacking India through outright war (1965 and 1999) and covert terror attacks (in the order of hundreds from 1989 to this present day). The 1971 Bangladeshi genocide forced India to intervene as it could not handle the refugees which ultimately ran into crores and India is suffering till this present day.

5. Pakistan has been killing its minorities: First the Hindus and Christians; Then the Shias and Ahmadiyyas. Despite that they keep screaming about India’s human rights record 24X7.

6. After the annexation of Tibet by China in 1951, it has been quite rare for even a superpower to capture a province from a smaller power. And here a smaller power still dreams of capturing an entire state from a larger power. Height of delusion?

7. As a result, democracy has been busted in Pakistan (since the Army always calls the shots thanks to Kashmir), the economy is in ruins, it is a puppet state of America and there are independent movements in Balochistan, Gilgit-Baltistan and PoK while there is a full-fledged war raging in North Waziristan.

8. 60,000 Pakistani civilians have died in terror attacks since 9/11 so it is correct when they say that they are the biggest victims of terror. However they are the biggest perpetrators of terror too and god knows how long this paradox called Pakistan will last like this.

© Sunil Rajguru

Indo-Pak musings…

India and Pakistan were in a stiff competition over Development till 1991.
After that India Liberalized and Pakistan Terrorized.

Optimist.
Love India. Love Pakistan.
Pessimist.
Hate India. Hate Pakistan.
Average Indian.
Love India. Hate Pakistan.
#AdarshLiberal.
Hate India. Love Pakistan.

Pakistan problem in a nutshell
Army + Kashmir
<more important than>
Government + Punjab + Sindh + Balochistan + Khyber Pakhtunkhwa + FATA + etc

Burhan reported to ISI.
ISI reports to Army chief.
Army chief (allegedly) reports to Nawaz.
So Nawaz had to defend Burhan in UN.
Not surprising!

1947.
Gandhi fast unto death to give Pakistan their money at the cost of Kashmir.
1960.
Nehru gave away 80% Indus water for free to Pakistan at the cost of Kashmir.

#AdarshLiberals’ theme song…
All we are saying is give piece* a chance.
*Piece as in tukda as in Bharat there tukde honge!

Pakistan says it’s ready to meet any challenge from India.
Arre bhai 1947 se aap hi challenge kar rahe hai.
India to chup hai, bus react karta hai.

#Pakistan
The only country which chases away Nobel Laureates (#AbdusSalam #Malala) and welcomes terrorists (tens of thousands).

Is this some exchange programme?
Pakistan artistes leave via threats and Balochi rebels come via asylum?
#MNSProtests #AeDilHaiMushkil #Raees

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

April 2016 Status Updates

Top 3 films by Box Office in 2016 so far…
3rd: SRK film.
2nd: Akshay film.
1st: Chaddi pahan ke phool khila hai…

(April 24)

Domestically a superstar just needs half his film’s cost from domestic Box Office.
Rest will come from global BO, TV, music, promotional etc rights for a tidy profit.

(April 22)

Pakistan…
1947-58: Democracy.
1958-71: Dictatorship.
1971-78: Democracy.
1978-88: Dictatorship.
1988-99: Democracy.
1999-2008: Dictatorship.
2008-__: Democracy.
Coup inevitable before 2020?

(April 21)

Film reviews of Bollywood superstars…
Great/very good/good/average = 5 stars.
Below average/bad/pathetic = 4 stars.
All time disaster = 3 stars.

(April 20)

Raina means night.
That’s why he performs well in Day-Night matches and especially IPL.
That’s why he was a flop in Tests, which is played only in the day.

(April 10)

Kanhaiya must be commended for coming out with a huge “Bharat Mata Ki Jai” revolution all across India.

(April 8)

Pakistan in 2016 says peace process with India is now suspended.
Incorrect.
It suspended the peace process in 1947 itself immediately after being born.

J&K Dy CM to NIT students…
In order to check whether your security is adequate or not, I cannot come because my security is not adequate.

A movie on the political situation of Bihar would be called Jungle (Raj) Book and it would get an A certification.

(April 7)

Then…
They don’t need bread. Let them go eat cake!
Now…
They don’t need fan. Let them go have AC!
‪#‎RakhiSawant‬

(April 5)

Militarily, Pakistan was the most powerful Muslim nation in the world.
It severely weakened itself by attacking India non-stop for no valid reason.

(April 2)

The vicious American War Cycle…
Democrats create conditions for war.
Republicans go to war.

2012 US Prez polls: Candidate with most Twitter followers won.
2014 India PM polls: Candidate with most Twitter followers won.
2015 UK PM polls: Candidate with most Twitter followers won.
2016 US Prez polls: Trump has the most Twitter followers.

(April 1)

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

More Misbah and Pakistan musings…

Pakistan finally wins!
Burst all the firecrackers.
Pata nahin agla ‪#‎MaukaMauka‬ kab milega.

The times they are a changing…
1992—Pakistan defy all odds to win the World Cup.
2015—Pakistan defy all odds to beat Zimbabwe in the World Cup.

Thanks to Akmal’s drops, Pakistan always needs 12-14 wickets.
Thanks to Misbah’s dot balls, Pakistan bats in a virtual 40-over match.
Thanks to Afridi’s age, the average age of Team Pakistan is always low.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Misbah and Pakistan musings…

Misbah-ul-Haq is the greatest Test batsman in the history of ODI cricket.
AB de Villiers is the greatest T20 batsman in the history of ODI cricket.
Virender Sehwag is the greatest ODI batsman in the history of Test cricket.

Pakistani cricketer Misbah-ul-Haq’s biggest inspirational story in life is that of the hare and the tortoise.

The ODI strike rate of Misbah-ul-Haq…
20 years back he would have been a great ODI player.
20 years hence that pace won’t even make it to Tests.
Misbah: Leading the anti-T20 revolution well into 2015.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Kashmir versus Pakistan…

Claim: Indian Kashmir is occupied by Indian Army.
Reality: Pakistan is occupied by Pakistani Army (and terrorist groups).

Claim: Kashmir is a troubled State.
Reality: Pakistan is the most troubled State.

Slogan: Save Kashmir.
Reality: Save Pakistan.

Claim: Indians don’t care for Kashmir.
Reality: Pakistanis don’t care for Pakistan.

Claim: There should be Plebiscite in Kashmir.
Reality: There should be Plebiscite in every State of Pakistan.

Claim: There will be peace in Pakistan when there is peace in Kashmir.
Reality: As long as there is no peace within Pakistan, Kashmir will always be targeted.

Claim: Kashmir should be part of Pakistan.
Reality: Pakistan’s claims on Kashmir will leave it in parts.

© Sunil Rajguru

Columns on Pakistan

The disintegration of Pakistan has finally begun…
October 1, 2015, Sify.com

Seven reasons to be wary of Somnath Bharti
September 28, 2015, Sify.com

10 reasons why we shouldn’t have talks with Pakistan…
August 24, 2015, Sify.com

7 ways the Army has destroyed Pakistan…
December 22, 2014, Sify.com

Bad Taliban. Worse Taliban. Worst Taliban
December 21, 2014, Sify.com

Pakistan is back to its tricks yet again
December 19, 2014, Sify.com

A to Z of Pakistani terror
December 19, 2014, Sify.com

Stop playing good terrorist bad terrorist!
December 18, 2014, Sify.com

Pakistan’s destructive self-fulfilling prophesy
October 10, 2014, Sify.com

The Ten Wars of Pakistan on India
October 9, 2014, Sify.com

5 reasons why Pak’s Kashmir claim is impossible
27 September, 2013, Sify.com

Who is Pakistan’s biggest victim?
24 May, 2013, Sify.com

Pak leadership change always bad news
14 May, 2013, Sify.com

Indo-Pak ties: We smile, they attack
09 January, 2013, Sify.com

Can’t we solve the Kashmir problem by 2017?
11 April 2012, Sify.com

Coup in Pak could mean a war with India again
13 January 2012, Sify.com

It’s still bouquets for Pak & brickbats for India
12 November, 2010, Sify.com

Wanted: A Berlin Wall for India and Pakistan
July 23, 2010

The conundrum that is Pakistan…

Pakistan hates America, but loves to take huge military and financial aid from it.

Pakistan hates terrorists, but loves to give them all forms of support.

Pakistan loves the Army, but hates to accept the fact that it has ruined democracy in Pakistan.

Pakistan loves fundamentalists, but hates to acknowledge the destruction they have unleashed.

Pakistan hates India, but loves blaming it for all its ills.

Pakistan loves Kashmir, so much so that it seems to hate all its other provinces.

© Sunil Rajguru

Indo-Pak Nobel Peace Prize musings…

(Reference: 2014 Nobel Peace Prize)

Too young to vote.
Too young to marry.
Old enough to get a Nobel Prize.
‪#‎MalalaYousafzai‬

Who won the Nobel Prize?
Nobel Committee: Indo-Pak Peace. Hindu-Muslim bhai bhai.

War and Peace…
War at the Indo-Pak border.
Peace Prize for two Indo-Pak citizens.
‪#‎LoC‬ ‪#‎Satyarthi‬ ‪#‎Malala‬

Fact of the day…
This is the first time that an Indian-born Indian resident citizen has won the Nobel Prize after 1930.

3 Indians won the Bharat Ratna for winning the Nobel Prize.
‪#‎CVRaman‬ ‪#‎MotherTeresa‬ ‪#‎AmartyaSen‬
Is Kailash Satyarthi next?

So now Pakistan shares an uneasy relationship with all its Nobel Laureates.
‪#‎AbdusSalam‬ ‪#‎MalalaYousafzai‬

These versions by Sunil Rajguru