Engaging Pak over Kashmir…

Pak began Kashmir terror group policy 9 years before they officially became a nuclear power. A year after they lost a war.
N-threat is irrelevant, India’s tolerance the key.

The two biggest stakeholders of the Pakistani Army are America and terrorist groups.
The government is a mute spectator.
Who will you talk to?

Kashmir has already destroyed Pakistan and hasn’t even realized it and still claims Kashmir.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

When the #IndianArmy crossed the #LoC into #PoK and did a #SurgicalStrike

If Pak terrorists can cross LoC/LAC regularly and come here during peace, why can’t Indian soldiers cross regularly and go there?
Took us 69 years to realize this.

Dear Pakistan,
You can’t ban all Indian products.
Pakistan itself is a product of India.

#Bharat ki #MannKiBaat Pakistan edition launched yesterday.

Pak Defence Minister.
Day 1: We will nuke India.
Day 2: India does surgical strike.
Day 3: Next time we will show you.

Pak: We will complain to the UN.

India: That India entered occupied Indian territory and destroyed terror camps? OK. Go ahead.
Pak: Errr… Ummm…

Pakistan has been waging/threatening war for 69 years, doing terror attacks for 27 years, threatening nukes for 17 years.
India still only reacts.

#SwachhBharat campaign extending to PoK is valid because PoK is actually part of Bharat.

You can do one more Mumbai and you may lose Balochistan.
—Ajit Doval.
Turn. Turn. Turn. The wheels, they are a turning.

Modi: Let’s have a battle over poverty.
Pak Army: LOL! Chalo so jao shaan se.
After #SurgicalStrike
Pak Army: O teri! Ye kya hua!

In 1947 J&K was headed for independence, but Pak stupidity placed it in India’s lap.
In 1971 Pak stupidity created Bangladesh.
Current stupidity laying grounds for an Independent Balochistan.

Modi Bhai M.B.B.S.
#SurgicalStrike

Pakistan: We do not accept the LoC.
Indian Army: OK. No problem. We too. Here we come.
#SurgicalStrike

Sharif: Hum iski kadi ninda karte hai.
#SurgicalStrike

Maine #SurgicalStrike kiya
#SurgicalStrike kiya to darna kya
#SurgicalStrike to hona hi tha
#SurgicalStrike Karne Wale Kabhi Kam Na Honge
#SurgicalStrike Kiye Jaa
Kaho Na #SurgicalStrike Hai…
Aao #SurgicalStrike Kare
#SurgicalStrike Hua Chori Chori

Pakistan has been attacking India non-stop from 1947-2016.
The only difference is that sometimes India responds and sometimes it doesn’t.

Pakistan: Mere paas China hai, Amreeka hai, dher saare nukes hai, unaccountable Army hai, tere paas kya hai?
India: We did a #SurgicalStrike while you were speaking.

Iran firing at Pakistan is a case of bahati Ganga main haath dho lo.
#SurgicalStrike

India planning to make Pakistan Most Favoured Nation (for counter-terrorism surgical strikes).

Yesterday.
Pakistan: We will do terrorism.
India: We will ban falana dimkhaana.
Today.
India: We will do counter-terrorism.
Pakistan: We will ban Dhoni film.

It’s called surgical strike because India is the surgeon and Pakistan is the severely ill patient.

Modi’s Peace Doctrine is tougher than some war doctrines.
We didn’t cross LoC even during Kargil War.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Pakistan problem musings…

Pakistani obsessions…
P – Punjab
A – Army
K – Kashmir
I – ISI
S – Suicide attacks
T – Terrorists
A – America
N – Nukes

SAARC to be disbanded for SAARCEP.
South Asian Association for Regional Cooperation Excluding Pakistan.
Pakistan will launch SAARK.
Sole Asian Association for Raising Kashmir.

How we should react…
US—Solve problems only by diplomacy!
India—Abbe bewde—kab tak tu ek terrorist state ko itna arms + money deta rahega? Diplomacy gayi tele lene!

The problem…
Bharat baatcheet karta raha aur Pakistan baat-cheat karta raha

Pakistan: Hum jung ladenge!
India: Arre aap kya jung ladenge? Aap pe to jang laga hua hai.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

An Indian viewpoint on why Pakistan is 100% wrong on Kashmir…

cross-157492_6401a. The British did not give Kashmir to Pakistan in 1947.

b. The Maharaja of Kashmir did not want to join Pakistan in 1947.

c. Kashmir’s popular leader Sheikh Abdullah did not want to join Pakistan in 1947.

2. Despite this Pakistan asserts that Kashmir is theirs.

kashmir-731978_6403. India sought peace from the beginning, not making any attempts to regain Pakistan occupied Kashmir (PoK) from 1948 and signing a magnanimous one-sided Indus Water Treaty in 1960. It even offered the Plebiscite option in Kashmir should Pakistan vacate PoK, which it has point blank refused to even discuss thereby nullifying the proposed Plebiscite.

4. Despite this Pakistan keeps attacking India through outright war (1965 and 1999) and covert terror attacks (in the order of hundreds from 1989 to this present day). The 1971 Bangladeshi genocide forced India to intervene as it could not handle the refugees which ultimately ran into crores and India is suffering till this present day.

5. Pakistan has been killing its minorities: First the Hindus and Christians; Then the Shias and Ahmadiyyas. Despite that they keep screaming about India’s human rights record 24X7.

dalai-lama-2244829_6406. After the annexation of Tibet by China in 1951, it has been quite rare for even a superpower to capture a province from a smaller power. And here a smaller power still dreams of capturing an entire state from a larger power. Height of delusion?

7. As a result, democracy has been busted in Pakistan (since the Army always calls the shots thanks to Kashmir), the economy is in ruins and it is a puppet state of America and China. There are independent movements in Balochistan, Gilgit-Baltistan and PoK while there is a full-fledged war raging in North Waziristan.

world-trade-center-67695_6408. Tens of thousands of Pakistani civilians have died in terror attacks post-2000, so it is correct when they say that they are the biggest victims of terror. However they are the biggest perpetrators of terror too and god knows how long this paradox called Pakistan will last like this.

© Sunil Rajguru

Indo-Pak musings…

India and Pakistan were in a stiff competition over Development till 1991.
After that India Liberalized and Pakistan Terrorized.

Optimist.
Love India. Love Pakistan.
Pessimist.
Hate India. Hate Pakistan.
Average Indian.
Love India. Hate Pakistan.
#AdarshLiberal.
Hate India. Love Pakistan.

Pakistan problem in a nutshell
Army + Kashmir
<more important than>
Government + Punjab + Sindh + Balochistan + Khyber Pakhtunkhwa + FATA + etc

Burhan reported to ISI.
ISI reports to Army chief.
Army chief (allegedly) reports to Nawaz.
So Nawaz had to defend Burhan in UN.
Not surprising!

1947.
Gandhi fast unto death to give Pakistan their money at the cost of Kashmir.
1960.
Nehru gave away 80% Indus water for free to Pakistan at the cost of Kashmir.

#AdarshLiberals’ theme song…
All we are saying is give piece* a chance.
*Piece as in tukda as in Bharat there tukde honge!

Pakistan says it’s ready to meet any challenge from India.
Arre bhai 1947 se aap hi challenge kar rahe hai.
India to chup hai, bus react karta hai.

#Pakistan
The only country which chases away Nobel Laureates (#AbdusSalam #Malala) and welcomes terrorists (tens of thousands).

Is this some exchange programme?
Pakistan artistes leave via threats and Balochi rebels come via asylum?
#MNSProtests #AeDilHaiMushkil #Raees

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Columns on Pakistan

The disintegration of Pakistan has finally begun…
October 1, 2015, Sify.com

Seven reasons to be wary of Somnath Bharti
September 28, 2015, Sify.com

10 reasons why we shouldn’t have talks with Pakistan…
August 24, 2015, Sify.com

7 ways the Army has destroyed Pakistan…
December 22, 2014, Sify.com

Bad Taliban. Worse Taliban. Worst Taliban
December 21, 2014, Sify.com

Pakistan is back to its tricks yet again
December 19, 2014, Sify.com

A to Z of Pakistani terror
December 19, 2014, Sify.com

Stop playing good terrorist bad terrorist!
December 18, 2014, Sify.com

Pakistan’s destructive self-fulfilling prophesy
October 10, 2014, Sify.com

The Ten Wars of Pakistan on India
October 9, 2014, Sify.com

5 reasons why Pak’s Kashmir claim is impossible
27 September, 2013, Sify.com

Who is Pakistan’s biggest victim?
24 May, 2013, Sify.com

Pak leadership change always bad news
14 May, 2013, Sify.com

Indo-Pak ties: We smile, they attack
09 January, 2013, Sify.com

Can’t we solve the Kashmir problem by 2017?
11 April 2012, Sify.com

Coup in Pak could mean a war with India again
13 January 2012, Sify.com

It’s still bouquets for Pak & brickbats for India
12 November, 2010, Sify.com

Wanted: A Berlin Wall for India and Pakistan
July 23, 2010

The conundrum that is Pakistan…

Pakistan hates America, but loves to take huge military and financial aid from it.

Pakistan hates terrorists, but loves to give them all forms of support.

Pakistan loves the Army, but hates to accept the fact that it has ruined democracy in Pakistan.

Pakistan loves fundamentalists, but hates to acknowledge the destruction they have unleashed.

Pakistan hates India, but loves blaming it for all its ills.

Pakistan loves Kashmir, so much so that it seems to hate all its other provinces.

© Sunil Rajguru

Indo-Pak Nobel Peace Prize musings…

(Reference: 2014 Nobel Peace Prize)

Too young to vote.
Too young to marry.
Old enough to get a Nobel Prize.
‪#‎MalalaYousafzai‬

Who won the Nobel Prize?
Nobel Committee: Indo-Pak Peace. Hindu-Muslim bhai bhai.

War and Peace…
War at the Indo-Pak border.
Peace Prize for two Indo-Pak citizens.
‪#‎LoC‬ ‪#‎Satyarthi‬ ‪#‎Malala‬

Fact of the day…
This is the first time that an Indian-born Indian resident citizen has won the Nobel Prize after 1930.

3 Indians won the Bharat Ratna for winning the Nobel Prize.
‪#‎CVRaman‬ ‪#‎MotherTeresa‬ ‪#‎AmartyaSen‬
Is Kailash Satyarthi next?

So now Pakistan shares an uneasy relationship with all its Nobel Laureates.
‪#‎AbdusSalam‬ ‪#‎MalalaYousafzai‬

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Indian border/LoC musings…

Sad ugly truth…
China: Our soldiers don’t require visa to enter India.
Pakistan: Our soldiers don’t need to enter India. We fire from our positions and the Indian government does nothing.

What is common to Batman, Superman and Indo-Pak peace?
A: They are all fictional characters.
Tragedy is our leaders still believe in it as soldiers keep dying non-stop.

Pak leaders’ gifts…
Liaquat: 1948 Kashmir war.
Ayub: 1965 war.
Yahya: 1971 war.
Zia: Siachen conflict.
Benazir: Kashmir militancy.
Sharif: Kargil.
Sharif is back! Arre kamse kam koi usko return gift to de do!

Antony on KBC…
Antony: People in Pak Army uniform did it.
KBC: LoC kiya jaaye?
AKA: Errr… let me change my answer… Pak Army did it.
KBC: Full marks to you! Now we move on to the next question. What are you going to do about it?

We are an army of tigers led by wolves in lambs’ clothing.
(Summing up the soldier-politician relationship)

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Why did the Pakistani cross the LoC?

Why did Musharraf cross the LoC and then cross back again?
Because he was a double crosser.

Why did the Indian official cross the LoC and visit Pakistan?
Because he foolishly believed that peace was on the other side.

Why did the Indian soldier cross the LoC?
To win a war.

Why did the Pakistani soldier cross the LoC?
To lose a war.

Why did the Indian citizen cross the LoC?
Because he wanted to have a blast.

Why did the Pakistani citizen cross the LoC?
Because he heard a blast on the other side and mistook it for Pakistan.

Why did the terrorist cross the LoC?
He stoutly denied it saying that since he believed both Kashhmir and PoK were one and there was no LoC and it was an imaginary line and he didn’t cross it at all!

Why did the bird cross the LoC?
Birds are true children of nature and nature know no boundaries.

Why did the chicken cross the LoC on Monday?
To get to the other side.

Why did the Pakistani soldier cross the LoC on Tuesday?
Because it was the chicken’s day off.

Why did the chicken cross the LoC?
Because it heard a lot of Pak-Pak-Pak and PoK-Pok-PoK on the other side.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Aman ki asha musings…

∙ Pak is Aman.
India is Asha.
Only Pak can bring peace.
India can only hope.

∙ Too much peace will leave you in pieces.
Some times it’s just best to stop talking peace.
Justice is far more important.
Respect our soldiers.

∙ Cong to Pak: Do not to test India’s patience!
Pak to Cong: We’ve been testing it for 65 years now, what’s a few decades more?

∙ Aman ki Asha=Chaman ki Bhasha.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Overheard 1…

First official: Who’s next?
Second official: Some professor of Anna University in Chennai called Abdul on his way to New York.
First official: OK, check him thoroughly.

***

First voice: Main kal ek reality show pe ja raha hu, thoda kadki hain bhai!
Second voice: To ja na, aish kar.
First voice: Nahin yaar, programme main sach bolna padta hain. Ho sakta hain ki tumhare khilaaf kuch bol du.
Second voice: Jo bolna hain bol, itne saalo ke baad kya pharak padta hain? Waise bhi maine newspapers aur news channels wagere dekhna padna kab ka chod diya hain.
First voice: Cool

After a few days…
First voice: Yaar maine bola ki mujhe lagta tha ki tu meri aur madad kar sakta tha.
Second voice: Yaar maine poori koshish ki tumhe mere saath rakhne ki, shayad aur koshish karni thi.
First voice: Chal chod, kal pakka mil rahe hain na?
Second voice: Ha yaar, see you then.

After a few more days…
Sachin-Kambli friendship on the rocks!
Kambli blasts Sachin in reality show!!
Ye dosti… toot gayi!!!
How will Sachin react when he finally comes to know of the great betrayal???
………………………

***

Day 1
Guilty?
Nahin! No!
….
Day 12
Guilty?
Nahin!
….
Day 73
Guilty?
Nahin!
….
Day 143
Guilty?
Nahin!

Day 229
Guilty?
Nahin!
Day 230
Guilty?
Ha bhai hain! Main guilty hu! Kya karloge? Bahut ho gaya! Bas ye sawal band karo.

***

International concall
First head of state: Yes!
Second head of state: No!
First head of state: Yes!
Second head of state: No!
First head of state: Yes!
Second head of state: No!
First head of state: Yes!
Second head of state: No!
First head of state: Yes!
Second head of state: No!
First head of state: Yes!
Second head of state: No!
Senior official: Enough children! (Addressing the first) You’ll get your nuclear reactors (Addressing the second) You’ll get your millions.
First head of state: But I’m in a weak coalition government, anything could happen.
Senior official: I read the papers you know, I know you’ve a virtual 5-year-fixed term.
Second head of state: But I’m facing a coup.
Senior official: If you don’t comply, then we’ll organize one.
Interpreter: Kuch to Sharm karo
Senior official: Ah yes! Sharm el-Sheikh…
Interpreter: …is also called the The City of Peace Madam!
Senior official: Then it’s settled!
First head of state: Yes Madam!
Second head of state: Yes Madam!
Interpreter: Yes Madam!

***

© Sunil Rajguru