General political musings of the day

CONGRESS
Care
Of
Nehru
Gandhi
Rajiv-Rahul
Emergency-Indira
Sanjay
Sonia

First you win, then they fight you, then they laugh at you, then they ignore you.
*They=People of India.
You=Pappu.
Win=2009 Lok Sabha win.

When they go low, we go high.
—Michelle Obama.
I’m always high no matter how low we go.
—Pappu.

When they go low, we go high.
—Michelle Obama.
When he goes high, we go low.
—Opposition on Modi.

Bihar-WB ruin continues;
Behenji is playing super victimhood;
Kejri is spouting utter nonsense;
Sonia’s abroad—
All’s normal with politics!

Prashant Kishore is like Manmohan Singh.
PK was good under Modi, but bad under Pappu-Akhilesh.
MMS was good under Rao, but bad under Sonia.

Opposition attacking Modi hysterically 24X7, ignoring voters and clueless about real strategy.
And you ask why Modi keeps winning.

It may be possible to beat Modi in 2019.
But not if the entire opposition runs around like headless chickens all the time.

Bad news for BJP.
Diggy Raja may be removed from Karnataka.
Shows Congress is serious.
Now if Pappu doesn’t campaign, then Congress has a fighting chance.

The current ABC of misgovernance…
Arvind
Banerjee
Congress.

AAP chose the broom to think that they would sweep all States.
Fate chose to sweep AAP out of all States, Delhi bhi jaayega.

Kejri will probably say to his workers…
We did not lose Punjab-Goa, but in fact we won.
That’s because we saw a 30% growth in total MLAs!

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Modi kuch bhi kare, credit Congress ko jaata hai

Modi is tech savvy.
Par computers to Rajiv laya tha!
Modi is mending ties with Bangladesh.
Par Bangladesh to Indira layi thi!
Modi is reforming India.
Par Manmohan reforms laya tha!
Modi is transforming foreign policy.
Par foreign policy to Nehru laya tha!
Modi is building a strong party.
Par political party to Congress laya tha!
Modi is taking India to new heights.
Par India to Mahatma Gandhi laya tha!

Musings on the 2017 Assembly elections…

#2017Polls
If Pappu wins…
If Pappu loses…
Answer is the same.
He’ll eventually become Congress President.
Life ho to aisi!

If Kejri wins Goa and Punjab, then along with Delhi it will be a sort of Bermuda Triangle where all governance will go missing.

So will Punjab be the second State to have AAPRajya after Delhi?
Supreme Leader Kejri to extend his domain?

In 1952, Congress won 388/429 seats in the UP elections.
In 2017, it is dancing on one leg because it is getting to contest 105/403 seats.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Pappu will be Pappu no matter what

2013…
Phata Poster Nikhla Hero.
2017…
Phata Kurta Nikhla Pappu.

Modi Kurta.
Phata Kurta.
Former made his own destiny.
Latter got everything on platter and still tore it up.

Pappu tore an expensive kurta with expensive scissors on advice of expensive consultants at expensive rally to prove that he is poor.

Pappu will retire only in 2019 when he gives Modi a second term and totally destroys the Congress by then.

Half-way through Modi’s term…
Pappu still Congress hope.
Kejri still doing nautanki.
Nitish-Lalu tussle, Mulayam-Akhilesh fight, Mamata ruining WB.
#Mission2019 bright.

Charles is his inspiration.
At 68 he’s still a Prince to the Queen.
Pappu is just 46 and a Prince to Queen Sonia.

April 1: Pappu Diwas.
Mother’s Day: Pappu’s favourite diwas.
(The only person on Earth who has faith in him)

Congress loves the minorities so much that it itself has become a political minority.

The CongRace has been lost.
Pappu came last.

Kejri. Nitish. Mamata.
Kahi pe nigaahen (CM ki kursi) kahi pe nishaana (PM ki kursi).
Pappu: Na nigaahen na nishaana, bas ghoomta hua parwana.

Looks like we will be discussing UPA scams even during the 2019 general elections.

1947—Netaji kicked the British out.
1991—Rao kicked the economic Communists out.
2014—Modi kicked the Congress out.
Nehru-Gandhi who?

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

The Congress and #Demonetization

Think it over…
In 1954 Nehru introduced the super high Rs 10,000 note for a poor India.
That would have helped the corrupt rich or ordinary citizens?

There have been three demonetizations.
1946.
1978.
2016.
What is common to all three?
Congress was not in charge.
That itself tells the story.

1954—Congress Finance Minister introduces whopping Rs 10,000 note.
2016—After tonnes of inflation, ex-Congress Finance Minister puzzled at Rs 2,000 note.
#Chidu

Sonia presides over a 100 scams.
Everyone’s happy with her.
Modi does a 100 good things.
24X7 attacks and analysis of how he’ll lose 2019 for actually doing good!

Pappu’s shoot and scoot politics explained with lyrics of Oye Oye’s Tridev (1989)…
Gali gali main firta hai tu kyun banke banjara…

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

2014. Congress. Out!

2015. Labour. Out!

2016. Democrats. Out!

Hat-trick!

Prediction: In 2009 when the Congress won, they told us that by 2014 the party would get 272 Lok Sabha seats and the BJP would be finished.

Reality: The BJP got 282 and the Congress got decimated and faces terminal decline.

Prediction: In 2015 they said Labour would make a comeback and the Tories would really struggle.

Reality: The Labour got wiped out, the Miliband brothers went into oblivion and Corbyn is slowly banging nails into the party coffin.

Prediction: In 2016 they said Hillary would win, Trump would be disgraced and the Republicans would fight themselves to decline especially in the face of the declining white population.

Reality: The Republicans will soon control the White House, Senate, House of Representatives and have the most Governors too, not to mention a conservative Supreme Court.

The Democrats on the other hand just had a Civil War between Hillary and Sanders’ supporters and are currently running around like headless chickens.

The axis has turned. The world has turned Right.

© Sunil Rajguru

The Congress continues to sink musings…

Prominent preservation agitations…
1. Save the Tiger.
2. Save the Ganga.
3. Save the Congress.

I don’t feel sorry for Manmohan Singh.
He signed all the documents.
And for 10 years.
Tomorrow a policeman may allow crime to happen and claim innocence by same logic.

If it’s going to take to the streets for every problem it has, then Congress might as well set up camp on the streets of India 24X7 till 2019.

Motilal became Congress President in 1919 and formally founded the Nehru-Gandhi Dynasty.
Pappu will become Congress President by 2019 and formally end the Dynasty.

Manmohan: Congress is India’s soul.
Truth: Congress is India’s sole.
Puri tarah se ghis gaya hai. Replacement ki zaroorat hai.

You can’t make this stuff up…
The virtual dictator of the most corrupt party in India is doing a march to save democracy and there’s a poster with Vadra!

While addressing Lok Sabha…
I’d like to address this August House.
While addressing Congress strategy meet…
I’d like to address this Agusta House.

2014: Prevent Modi from coming to power.
2015: Prevent Modi’s achievements from being showcased.
2016: Prevent Supreme Leader from going to jail.
‪#‎Congress‬ ‪#‎Agusta‬ ‪#‎NH‬

Nehru ½ of Mahatma
Indira ⅓ of Nehru
Rajiv ¼ of Indira
Sonia ⅕ of Rajiv
Pappu ⅙ of Sonia
Priyanka 1/7 of Pappu
Vadra ⅛ of Priyanka
Vadra4PM!

Just get Sibal to give a press conference and declare…
Zero loss in all scams!
End of story.
‪#‎AgustaWestland‬

One poster had the Nehru Gandhi Vadra Dynasty.
Is it a march for democracy or march for monarchy?

Right now the party is debating who should be the losing Congress UP Chief Ministerial candidate in 2017.

For Congress leaders…
India = Congress = Dynasty.
So they feel that what they are doing is totally right.

We have a right to rule.
We have a right to be corrupt.
You don’t even have a right to question us.
‪#‎Congress‬

Sonia-Pappu arrested temporarily so then can get a feel to see what it will feel like when it becomes permanent.

What is your strategy?
Congress: Ulta chor kotwaal ko daate 24X7 365 days a year.

Years as MP before being offered PM’s post…
Nehru: 0.
Indira: 2.
Rajiv: 3.
Sonia: 0.
Pappu most qualified.
He has been MP for 12 years already.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Pappu and AntiModi musings…

First you win (2009), then they fight you (2010-11), then they laugh at you (2012-14), then they ignore you (2015-16).
—Pappu on the people of India.

India is Indira. Indira is India.
Nothing is Pappu. Pappu is nothing.

Everybody will get their 15 minutes of fame.
Modi Hater remix…
Everybody should get their 15 minutes of Modi bashing.
(Yuhi kat jaayenge paanch saal!)

1932: British Prime Minister declares Communal Award.
2015: Every Award declared Communal under Indian Prime Minister.
‪#‎WhereIsAwardWapsi‬

The bitter truth.
Nehru/Indira/Rajiv/Manmohan/Rao/Vajpayee didn’t remove Article 377.
Modi may or may not remove it by the end of his term.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

The Pappu conundrum…

Nehru signs accession treaty with Kashmir.
JNU students say Kashmir not integral part of India.
Nehru’s great grandson stands with JNU students saying Kashmir not integral part of India.

Indira breaks Pakistan into two.
JNU students stand with Pakistan.
Indira’s grandson stands with JNU students standing with Pakistan.

Rajiv captures Siachen.
JNU students abuse Siachen heroes.
Rajiv’s son stands with JNU students, not Siachen heroes.

Sonia MP when Parliament is attacked.
JNU students praise Parliament attacker.
Sonia’s son stands with JNU students praising Parliament attackers.

© Sunil Rajgur

Pappu ban gaya nationalist…

Photo0015

Congress releasing ad campaign titled…
Pappu Ban Gaya Nationalist.

Indira: Garibi Hatao.
Hat gayi garibi!
Rajiv: Hame dekhna hai…
Dekh liya!
Pappu: Nationalism is in my blood.
Ban gaya nationalist!

What is your blood group?
Pappu: N+.
Eh?
Pappu: Nationalism Positive.
P.S. And it tolerates antibodies like anti-Nationalism.

#‎CongressMuktBharat‬: Modi.
‪#‎MSMMuktSM‬: Twitter.
‪#‎ArnabMuktMedia‬: MSM.

Bhala tera protest mera protest se bada kaise?
Size (of protest rally) doesn’t matter.
Protests. Protests against protests.
Protestindia.

Congress party election campaign…
For 2014 elections: Massive PR.
For 2019 elections: Massive PRotests.

Online…
Everybody’s either outraging or outraging against those outraging.
Offline…
Everybody’s either protesting or protesting against those protesting.

Meanwhile…
2002-12: Attacked 24X7.
Still won 3 elections.
2013-14: Attacked 24X7.
Still won big at LS polls.
2014-16: Attacked 24X7.
Still working like mad 24X7.
‪#‎NaMo‬

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

For the first time ever, Sonia stands isolated…

Ever since Sonia Gandhi entered the Indian scene, she has directly or indirectly been in a position of great power. Take a look…

1968-77: Daughter-in-law of Prime Minister.

1977-80: Daughter-in-law of Leader of the Opposition.

1980-84: Daughter-in-law of Prime Minister.

1984-89: Wife of Prime Minister.

1989-91: Wife of Leader of the Opposition.

1991-98: Every Prime Minister wary that Sonia directly or indirectly can topple him.

1998-2004: Leader of Opposition.

2004-14: Controller of Prime Minister.

As you can see, it’s a continuous chain and for the first time it has been broken.

2004-16: Prime Minister not dependent on her and there isn’t even a Leader of Opposition in the Lok Sabha.

That’s why Parliament is being disrupted non-stop and Bills are not being passed so that the Prime Minister becomes dependent on Sonia and parity is restored.

That’s why the Supreme Court was approached for the Leader of the Opposition post even though there was a next to zero chance for success.Parity had to be restored.

The plan has been totally busted for it should have been…

2014-__: Mother of Prime Minister.

Mission 2019 is reaching a desperation stage in 2016 itself.

© Sunil Rajguru

This is Pappu. Be like Pappu!

This is Pappu.
Pappu takes long vacation whenever he wants.
Pappu bunks work.
Pappu idles around in the work place.
Pappu keeps losing in cool in public.
Pappu generally enjoys life and doesn’t give a damn to anyone.
Be like Pappu.

This is Kejri.
Kejri sleeps on the road at midnight.
Kejri does dharna.
Kejri does nautanki.
Kejri does u-turns.
Kejri does no work and blames everything on others.
Kejri uses Twitter for trolling.
Like Pappu, Kejri generally enjoys life and doesn’t give a damn to anyone.
Be like Kejri.

This is Sonia.
Sonia strikes fear in the hearts of #AdarshLiberals.
Sonia strikes fear in the hearts of senior editors.
Sonia strikes fear in the hearts of most politicians.
Sonia strikes fear in the hearts of intellectuals.
Sonia strikes fear in the hearts of writers.
Sonia strikes fear in the hearts of most prominent Indians.
Be feared like Sonia.

This is Mamata.
Mamata doesn’t believe rapes are happening.
Mamata doesn’t believe in Malda.
Mamata doesn’t think the porous border is a threat.
Mamata doesn’t think there is any violence happening in her State.
Mamata thinks she is giving brilliant governance.
Be blissfully unaware like Mamata!

This is Lalu.
Lalu allows murder.
Lalu allows kidnapping.
Lalu allows theft.
Lalu allows Jungle Raj.
Lalu allows just about anything.
Be tolerant like Lalu.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru