West Bengal terror musings…

Empty (pori)bartans make a lot of noise.
‪#‎Mamata‬ ‪#‎WestBengal‬ ‪#‎Burdwan‬

After calling Naxalites Gandhians with Guns, someone will probably shamelessly call the West Bengal terrorists Gandhians with Bombs.

“Terr”ible West Bengal hat-trick…
Congress: Reign of Terror.
CPM: Terrorized all opponents.
Trinamool: Terror houses all over.

Khalistan separatism ended, J&K militancy began.
J&K militancy ended, West Bengal terror factories began.
P.S. Left violence running from 1947-2014.

Progress in West Bengal…
Naxalism promoted to Terrorism.
Left (CPM) promoted to Ultra Left (TMC).
Old fogey (Buddha) replaced by megalomaniac (Mamata).

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Modi Freedom of Speech musings…

Fact 1: The media is petrified of Sonia.
Fact 2: The media has attacked Modi a million times.
Analysis: The Freedom of Speech that flourished under Sonia has vanished under Modi.

People have simply stopped listening to the Delhi elite. Their explanation: It’s a loss of Freedom of Speech!
‪#‎DelhiDurbar‬ ‪#‎ModiSarkar‬

Any Khan movie will make Rs 100 crores.
Any Modi election campaign will result in victory.

Pakistan names a cyclone.
That cyclone to hit Gujarat.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Tere baap ka party hai kya?

Tere baap ka party hai kya?
Naveen: Errr, “Biju” Janata Dal. Isn’t it pretty obvious?

Tere baap ka party hai kya?
Omar: Actually mere dadaji ne ye party banaya tha.

Tere baap ka party hai kya?
Akhilesh: Ha, isi liye ye haal hai, koi sunta hi nahin mera!

Tere baap ka party hai kya?
Pappu: Nahin. Baap, maa, chachu, daadi, uske papa, uske papa ke papa…

Tere baap ka party hai kya?
Ajit: Arre! Mama-bhatija bhi kuch cheez hota hai bhai!

Tere baap ka party hai kya?
Derek O Brien: Mind your language! It’s just Didi Didi Didi!

Tere baap ka party hai kya?
Kumarswamy: Kya farak padta hai. Party hi bacha nahin hai!

Tere baap ka party hai kya?
Alagiri: Nahin, bhai ka ho raha hai.

Tere baap ka party hai kya?
Uddhav: Eh? Tu jaanta nahin mera baap kaun tha?

Tere baap ka party hai kya?
Chandrababu: Mere sasurji ek mahaan aadmi the.

© Sunil Rajguru

Nehru-Gandhi Dynasty: The law of diminishing returns…

Nehru was less than 50% of Patel/Netaji.

Indira was less than 50% of Nehru.

Rajiv was less than 50% of Indira.

Sonia is less than 50% of Rajiv.

Pappu is less than 50% of Sonia.

Pappini will be less than 50% of Pappu.

Still the slogan will be…
Pappini laao, desh bachao,
Aur uske baad uske baccho ko bhi lao.

© Sunil Rajguru

The Left-Right-Wrong world of Pappu Maharaj…

In 2004, Sonia unwittingly became the right person at the right place at the right time.

However Pappu has proved to be the wrong person at the wrong place at the wrong time always saying the wrong things and backing the wrong people.

And the Congress still thinks he’s Mr Right.

Well they are right. He is Mr Right for the BJP.

Thanks to him the Left-leaning nation has firmly taken a Right turn.

© Sunil Rajguru

October election musings on Pappu…

Vice: (noun), a fault, defect, or shortcoming.
Usage: Congress Vice President Rahul Gandhi.

Modi and Pappu are two sides of the same coin.
Both are equally destructive for the Congress party.

I have a 100-year-vision.
If you follow what I am doing, then we will return to power in 100 years.
—Pappu Maharaj.

Pre-2014, everything was an imagined #BlowToModi.
Post-2014, everything is a very real #BlowToSonia #BlowToPappu and #BlowToCongress.

Jitna ridicule maine 44 saal main ikhatta kiya, tumne sirf 26 saal main kiya!

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

October election musings on Modi…

Narendra Modi is now officially The Terminator for all non-BJP governments.

Maharashtra news…
BJP gains whopping 77 seats, up from 46 to 123 seats.
So called TV expert…
But one exit poll said 151, so they’re actually down by 28 seats!

Modi: On trial for some despite a 100% record.
Modi passed the electoral test in 2002, 2007, 2012, 2013 and 2014 twice.

2013 Polls: Kya acche din aane wale hai?
Lok Sabha Polls: Acche din aane wale hai!
2014 Assembly Polls: Acche din aa gaye hai!

Once the BJP was the Untouchable Party.
Now everyone wants to touch it to taste power.


These versions by Sunil Rajguru

At the polls: Jai Pappu. Hai hai Modi…

Pappu star campaigner for Bihar 2010 polls, Congress gets 4/243 seats.
Koi baat nahin Pappu, next time!

Pappu star campaigner for UP 2012 polls, Congress gets 28/403 seats.
Koi baat nahin Pappu, next time!

Pappu star campaigner for 2013 Assembly polls, Congress wins 1/5 States.
Koi baat nahin Pappu, next time!

Pappu star campaigner for 2014 Lok Sabha polls, Congress wins 44/543 seats.
Koi baat nahin Pappu, next time!

Pappu campaigns in Maharashtra and Haryana, Congress loses both States.
Koi baat nahin Pappu, next time! (Till 2024? Till 2029?)

Modi wins 2002 Gujarat Assembly polls.

Modi wins 2007 Gujarat Assembly polls.
Gujaratis have been fooled!

Modi wins 2012 Gujarat Assembly polls.
So what? Expected. TINA!

Modi campaigns to great 2013 Assembly polls victory.
No Modi wave. Even if so, it won’t last till 2014.

Modi leads BJP to spectacular 282 Lok Sabha seats.
31%! Bypolls show Modi wave has ended!

Modi campaign leads to BJP CMs in Maharashtra and Haryana.
Bah! He will never get Tamil Nadu and West Bengal.

Post script…
Pappu’s mistakes will be tolerated for decades.
Modi’s successes will be forgotten in one second.

© Sunil Rajguru

Modi: Fighting elections like a boss…

2002: After Godhra, you can’t win elections.
Modi: Challenge accepted!

2007: You can’t win sans polarization.
Modi: Challenge accepted!

2012: You may win, but you can’t become national leader.
Modi: Challenge accepted!

2013: Your magic will not work outside Gujarat.
Modi: Challenge accepted!

2014: BJP will never get a Lok Sabha majority.
Modi: Challenge accepted!

2014: Maharashtra and Haryana can never have BJP CMs.
Modi: Challenge accepted!

So what’s the next challenge they are throwing at Modi?

© Sunil Rajguru

General Congressi musings…

GandhiIndia’s creativity…
Gandhi on Rs 5 note.
Gandhi on Rs 10 note.
Gandhi on Rs 20 note.
Gandhi on Rs 50 note.
Gandhi on Rs 100 note.
Gandhi on Rs 500 note.
Gandhi on Rs 1000 note.
Mahatma Gandhi is still single-handedly running India’s economy.

Business Insider claims Sonia is a billionaire.
Media: Now that’s not news! Royal ignore.
Fake website claims that Ramdev claims Ebola cure.
Media: News! News! News!

When every Congress leader speaks rubbish on TV 24X7, does it really make a difference who is a spokesperson and who is not?
#Tharoor #Tiwari

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Musings on War and Peace…

nobel-prize-1356450_640One day Twitter will get the Nobel Peace Prize for diverting so much offline hate to the online world.

The Year of the Goat always gets Iraq’s goat….
1967: Disastrous war with Israel.
1979: Saddam Hussein takes charge.
1991: Thrashed in Gulf War.
2003: Invasion of Iraq.
2015: Major war against ISIS?

What is the link between one random Pakistani living in UK getting the Nobel Peace Prize and a Pakistani Army Chief deciding to shell the Indo-Pak border?

War is war and peace prize is peace prize.
Never the twain shall meet.

Was it save the child or save Indo-Pak peace?

Convoluted logic—Why Pakistanis hate Malala…
Taliban was created by Pakistani Army which is worshipped by Pakistanis.
Malala’s the biggest anti-Taliban symbol and hence anti-Army too.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru