Why the stink now Anna Hazare?

Anna created Kejri.
He let Kejri use IAC contacts and funds to launch AAP.
And now after sleeping for years he’s suddenly crying.

Anna is exactly like Gandhi.
Gandhi gave us Pappu Nehru.
Anna gave us Pappu Kejri.

Anna promised us National Lokpal.
Instead he gave us Internal AAP Lokpal.
His only achievement of the 2010s.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Raj karega Kejri baba musings…

After frothing in the mouth over India’s really bad political parties, Anna Hazare decided to gift us the worst ever.
‪#‎AAP‬

Tum mujhe khoon do, main tumhe azaadi doonga.
—Netaji.
Tum mujhe support do, main tumhe AAP doonga.
—Annaji Hazare.

When it comes to celebrations, beat this…
Spends tonnes of money to advertise nationwide nothing done in a municipality.
‪#‎Kejri‬

AAP did not aspire to be different.
It aspired to be worse than the worst politicians of the land.

Jinke sheeshe ke ghar hote hai—unhe pathar nahin fekne chahiye.
Kejri: Isi liye maine bulletproof glass ka istemaal kiya hai!
‪#‎ShootAndScoot‬

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Columns on anti-corruption…

Why February Kranti is no August Kranti!
February 21, 2015, Sify.com

Why does India worship its criminals?
October 8, 2014, Sify.com

Dozens of politicians in jail soon? Possible!
October 8, 2014, Sify.com

Everybody loves black money in India!
June 23, 2014, Sify.com

You’re corrupt. I’m corrupt. We’re all corrupt!
13 December, 2012, Sify.com

Why the corrupt get away in India
28 May 2012, Sify.com

The A to Z of Anna Hazare
25 March 2012, Sify.com

Open Letter to Anna Hazare…
16 January 2012, Sify.com

Us vs Them: Where Anna scored heavily
7 September, 2011, Sify.com

Why any kind of Lokpal is necessary
4 September, 2011, Sify.com

The Anna revolution: Victory or defeat?
29 August, 2011, Sify.com

7 ways to end corruption in India…
22 August, 2011, Sify.com

Viva Anna! Long live the revolution!
18 August, 2011, Sify.com

An Open Letter to the Congress Party…
16 August, 2011, Sify.com

The A to Z of the Lokpal “nautanki“…
16 June, 2011, Sify.com

India’s long fight against corruption
30 April, 2011, Sify.com

Change begins in Maharashtra
15 April, 2011, Sify.com

Tatas vs A Raja: India’s corruption gap
13 April, 2011, Sify.com

Do we Indians actually want corruption?
25 March, 2011, Sify.com

Many a slip between the Lokpal Bill and Act…

The Lokpal Bill was presented in Parliament in 1968.

Since then… man walked on the moon, Pakistan was split into two, India and Pakistan became nuclear powers, the PC entered households, BJP created, an Indian entered space, the Russian Communist Empire collapsed, we entered the Internet age, 9/11 happened, India saw 10 more people become PMs, an African American became US President, Anna Hazare brought India to a standstill over the Lokpal Bill, Sachin debuted and scored his 1st and 100th international century and retired, India launched Mars probe…

Alternatively…

When the Lokpal Bill was presented in Parliament, Anna Hazare was in the army.

Since then… Anna served in the 1971 war, quit service, transformed his village Ralegan Siddhi, started a Grain Bank, launched many anti-corruption movements in Maharashtra, was jailed in Yerawada (Pune), got State ministers indicted, spearheaded RTI movement in State, helped pass Act stopping arbitrary transfers of officials, launched a campaign against Pawar, spearheaded August Kranti, was jailed in Tihar, saw the launch and electoral success of the Aam Aadmi Party…

Though some things never change…

In 1968 Pappu didn’t have any achievements because he wasn’t born.
In 2013 Pappu still doesn’t have any achievements.

Theme song…
Aayega aayega aayega aayega Lokpal ek din, aayega..

© Sunil Rajguru

More Arvind Kejriwal musings…

Debut: KejriWah!
For BJP in Delhi: KejriWall.
Power promises: KejriWatt.
For Anna Hazare: KejriWar.
In case of repoll: KejriWas?

Jab Anna-Cong-BJP raazi, to kya karega Kejri?
#Lokpal

Anna Hazare: Pahale aap bahut acche the, abhi AAP bahut boore hai.
Arvind Kejriwal: aap ka kasoor nahin hai, par AAP ka kasoor hai.

AAP ka BAAP (BJP + Anna Agitation + Pappu).
#Lokpal

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

My complete Open Letters…

Open letter to Justice Katju
Is the Press Council chief neutral?
24 March, 2013, Sify.com

Open letter to Rahul Gandhi
Or how his Chintan Shivir speech was a dud
25 January, 2013, Sify.com

A note to the dented and painted Indian woman
If our politicians wrote an open letter…
27 December, 2012, Sify.com

Theek Nahi Hai!: Open letter to Manmohan Singh
The PM gave a bland and insipid speech
24 December, 2012, Sify.com

Open Letter to Anna Hazare…
Anna’s talent and charisma can come in handy in…

16 January 2012, Sify.com

Open letter to the ICC regarding the Sehwag menace
From the Royal Society of Prevention of Cruelty to Bowlers
09 December, 2011, Sify.com

An Open Letter to Kapil Sibal
The IT Minister should understand the Net better
07 December, 2011, Sify.com

An Open Letter to Shahrukh Khan
Despite Ra.One’s mediocrity…
8 November, 2011, Sify.com

An Open Letter to the Congress Party…
…regarding the whole Anna Hazare issue…
16 August, 2011, Sify.com

Contemporary Knock Knock Jokes 21

Knock Knock.
Who’s there?
Intruder.
Intruder who?
In through the LoC came Musharraf to become Pak’s most high-profile intruder ever.

Knock Knock.
Who’s there?
VP.
VP who?
Weepy weepy India thanks to the new Congress VP.

Knock Knock.
Who’s there?
Vishwaroopam.
Vishwaroopam who?
Wish we rue pampering these fringe groups and change soon!

Knock Knock.
Who’s there?
Anna.
Anna who?
An’ now he threatens another agitation, but people have totally lost interest.

Knock Knock.
Who’s there?
Aadhar.
Aadhar.
Ah… there’s no-one who quite understands this scheme, I’m afraid!

Knock Knock.
Who’s there?
Salman.
Salman who?
Depends on who you are asking for: One is hounded all over India for no real fault of his; while the other is a much-loved superstar despite his many many crimes.

Knock Knock.
Who’s there?
Diesel.
Diesel who?
The selling of my car appears to be the only option now with so many hikes!

Knock Knock.
Who’s there?
Ashish Nandy.
Ashish Nandy who?
Ah! Sheesh! None the better are we after this latest controversy.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Random Sunday political musings…

An unequal fight…
The Team: Mere paas Anna (Bada bhai) hai, tere paas kya hai?
Rahul: Mere paas maa hai!
(Aur bonus main baap, dadi aur pardada ki legacy!)

∙ It’s a shame that any leader would want to build statues of himself or herself all over the place.
Once again it’s an Indian bureaucrat that is covering a politician’s shame.

∙ Congress war cry: Hamse jo takarayega, Corruption main mil jaayega.
(Take that Team Anna, BJP…)

© Sunil Rajguru

The Three Laws of Motion of Indian Politics…

The First Law…
A large Parliamentary body remains stationary unless that body is acted upon by an external force (like Anna Hazare).
Ultimate model of Intertia=Manmohan Singh.

The Second Law…

The acceleration the Parliamentary body is parallel and directly proportional in case of a useless demand and inversely proportional to a very useful demand.
(Like hiking MPs salary is achieved in 40 seconds through a voice vote and the Lokpal is hanging fire even after 40 years)

The Third Law …

Every action by the people has a greater and opposite reaction by the Parliament.
An illustration…
Action: 1 Common Citizen (Anna) held 790 MPs to ransom.
Reaction: 1 common MP (Rajniti) held 1.2 crore Common Citizens to ransom.

© Sunil Rajguru

Ajeeb Lokpal hai ye…

So much sound and fury over the Lokpal Bill and not an Act to show for it in the end.

Please sing to the tune of Ajeeb daastan hai ye from Dil Apna Aur Preet Parai…

Ajeeb Lokpal hai ye,
Kab ye shuru hua aur kab hoga khatam,
Ye manzile hai kaunsi,
Na sarkar samajh saka na hum,
(Ye
Anna rosihni ke saath kyoon,
Dhuaan
Team ka utha chiraag se),
Ye
Lokpal khwaab dekhte hum sab kyun,
Ki jag pade ho khwaab se.

Ajeeb Lokpal hai ye,
Kab ye shuru hua aur kab hoga khatam,
Ye manzile hai kaunsi,
Na sarkar samajh saka na hum,
(Mubaarakein tumhe ke tum,
Kisi
movement ke noor ho gaye)
Hal ke kitne paas the,
Aur hal se door ho gaye.

Ajeeb Lokpal hai ye,
Kab ye shuru hua aur kab hoga khatam,
Ye manzile hai kaunsi,
Na sarkar samajh saka na hum,
(Kisi ka
Bill leke tum,
Naya
Act kab basaaoge?)
Ye shaam jab bhi yaad aayegi,
Woh
useless LS-RS debates yaad aayenge…

(Original Song: Ajeeb daastan hai ye.
Film: Dil Apna Aur Preet Parai.
Year: 1960)

This Spoof by Sunil Rajguru

Tryst with Tomfoolery

Many years ago, India’s first Prime Minister Jawaharlal Nehru gave a brilliant speech called Tryst with Destiny.

With due apologies to the great man, here is a spoofed up and highly abridged version of that speech to describe the sordid events of the Rajya Sabha not passing the Lokpal Bill, which has been hanging fire for more than four decades…

(Maybe Rahul Gandhi could read it!)

Long years ago we made a tryst with tomfoolery, and now the time comes when we shall redeem our pledge, not wholly or in full measure, but very substantially. At the stroke of the midnight hour, when the Lok Sabha sleeps, the Rajya Sabha will awake to strife and tomfoolery…

At the dawn of 1968, India started on her unending Lokpal quest, and trackless decades are filled with her striving and grandeur of her failures. We end today a period of misfortunes and India trashes the Lokpal yet again…

On this day our first thoughts go to the architect of this freedom, the New Father of our Nation, Anna Hazare, who, embodying the old spirit of India, held aloft the torch of the Lokpal and lighted up the darkness that surrounded us. We have often been unworthy followers of his and have strayed from his message…

The future beckons to us. Whither do we go and what shall be our endeavour? To bring more tomfoolery to the common man, to the peasants and workers of India…

(This spoof by Sunil Rajguru)

More Lokpal musings…

∙ Lokpal movie…
Came in 40 Odd Years (Lok Sabha Chapter).
Sequel…
Gone in 40 Odd Hours (Rajya Sabha Chapter).

∙ Full Circle…
The world was created from Chaos.
Indian Parliament will always end in Chaos.

∙ Theme song for the failed Mumbai Anna agitation…
Kasa kay, bara aahe, I am Mumbhai, Lokpal bye bye…

These versions by Sunil Rajguru