Tag Archives: Arvind Kejriwal

The Kejri suffering continues unabated…

Posted on by
Reply

Poor (allegedly economically) Kejri.
Poor (fate-wise) Delhi wallahs.

An internal survey shows that Kejri is god and the whole world worships him.
Since this is not so, it shows that not only EVMs, but the world itself is rigged.

2011…
Kejri: Any minister without corruption charges out there?
2017…
Kapil: I am the only AAP minister without corruption charges!

Full-circle…
2011.
Kejri: All politicians are accepting crores of cash.
2017.
Kapil: I saw Kejri accept crores of cash.

Sisodia: Kejri uncle, aaj Assembly main kya khele?
Kejri: Chalo EVM-EVM khelte hai!
Sisodia: Weeee!!!! Bada maja aaya!

Kejrwal thinks that people are total fools.
Unfortunately with 67/70 seats in his kitty, he has every right to think so.

Double dhamaka!
2013: Entry of AAP will improve politics!
2017: Exit of AAP will improve politics!

Tomorrow AAP to banks…
Hand over your servers-safes for 3 hours and we’ll prove that money is not safe in banks.

Kejri: Leader of Opposition (Modi).
Kapil Mishra: Leader of Opposition (Kejri).

Lalu to Kejri: Ye kya hai nautanki? Hum to paper ballots ko bhi hack karte the ek zamaane main!
#BoothCapturing

Even if paper ballots are handed over for three hours, they can be tampered with.
#EVMNautanki #AAP

So France gets its Kejriwal.
An artificially created inexperienced party that storms the elections.
#Macron

Lalu. Akhilesh. Kejri.
Same to same.
Useless.
English media once really loved all of them.

Kejriwal was like this from Day 1.
AAP was like this from Day 1.
It’s getting difficult to hide it nowadays, that’s all.

Latest AAP reality show…
Tragedy Days With Kapil.

Yugpurush Kejri is such that even if convicted he will remain India’s most honest politician.

Old.
Live life king size.
New.
Live life Kejri size.
(Arthaat, “aam” aadmi gaya tel lene)

In 2013 Kejri said he would remove corruption.
He forgot to add that he would then transfer it all into his home.

Next New Delhi budget will have the following sections…
1. Outstation ads.
2. Anti-defamation fees.
3. DIA (Delhi Investigating agency).
4. Chai-samosas.

Time for someone to publish a book titled…
The 1001 Controversies of Arvind Kejriwal.

Propaganda Minister.
External (out of Delhi) Affairs Minister.
Spymaster. (Feedback Cell)
The Buck Stops at Sisodia.
Anything but Chief Minister of Delhi.
#Kejri

Yesterday…
Do you know, 150+ chargesheeted MPs are in the Lok Sabha!
—Sri Sri Kejri Baba.
At the current rate, tomorrow…
Do you know, there are 150+ chargesheets against the AAP!

The conundrum for April 1.
Is today #AprilFoolDiwas or #PappuDiwas or #KejriDiwas?

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Kejri and Delhi’s problems

Posted on by
Reply

Huge money wasted on ads✔
Garbage pile-ups✔
Record air pollution✔
Absentee indifferent CM✔
Focus on trivial issues✔
Zero planning✔
#5SaalKejri

#NewsKiDukaan
Before.
Kya news chahiye? Politics? Sports? National? Foreign?
Now…
Kya opinion chahiye? Anti-Modi? Anti-Modi Strong/Lite? Pro-Kejri? Pro-Pappu?

Are you more worried about PM 2.5 or PM 10?
Kejri: I am more worried about PM 2.0.
Eh! What’s that?
Kejri: I will not let the current PM get a 2nd term.Odd/Even may not be enough.
May have to opt for daily Odd+even scheme.
Every day both odd and even vehicles be kept off the roads.
#Delhi

Congress scrapped #OROP. BJP implemented it.
Pappu spin…
Congress backed OROP. BJP haven’t implemented it.
Validated by Kejri, Pappu’s political twin.
These versions by Sunil Rajguru

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Kejri and his parallel universe…

Posted on by
2

Other people take a break when they work too much.
Kejri takes a break when he Tweets/alleges too much.
‪#‎Vipassana‬

Modi is so frustrated that he can have me killed.
Translation—I am so supremely frustrated and desperate that I just thought that up!
‪#‎Kejri‬

In Hollywood’s Wag the Dog, they create a fake war.
In Bollywood-style India, Kejri has made a complete fake universe around himself.

Modi may kill me: Kejri.
Kejri may kill me: Asim.
‪#‎AAPception‬ (AAP + Inception + Deception)

After blasting AAP, Sidhu can still join with his head held high because he is already part of two industries: Entertainment and politics.

If an AAP leader sets off a nuclear bomb in Delhi and is arrested, Kejri will Tweet…
Modi just arrested AAP man.
He’s not letting us work.

Not just ‪#‎Sidhu‬.
‪#‎Churchill‬ was a party hopper.
So is ‪#‎Trump‬.
And about half of India’s Prime Ministers too.

Why blame ‪#‎Sidhu‬?
About half of India’s Prime Ministers were party hoppers.
‪#‎Morarji‬ ‪#‎Charan‬ ‪#‎VPSingh‬ ‪#‎ChandraShekhar‬ ‪#‎Gujral‬ ‪#‎Gowda‬

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Musings on Kejribhai…

Posted on by
Reply

Kejri started off by being an alternative to Modi.
He will end up being a genuine 100% replacement of Lalu.

Kejri—Modi trying to finish off AAP!
Modi—Maaf kar bhai! That’s one job you’re doing excellently.
Why should I interfere?
Ditto Pappu/Cong.

For every promise Kejriwal breaks, one of his MLAs goes to jail.
At this rate he will be left with zero MLAs by 2020.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

#UdtaKejri musings…

Posted on by
Reply

Kejri doing time pass till his next working day on Thursday.
(When he’ll review ‪#‎UdtaPunjab‬ on its premiere)

Don’t worry, by 2020 we will have a film called ‪#‎UdtaDelhi‬ showcasing the total breakdown of the city by then.

Kejri won the battle which didn’t even really concern him… ‪#‎UdtaPunjab‬
But he totally lost the war… ‪#‎21UdteMLA‬

Delhiite 1: Par usne to bola tha ki main Delhi main bahaar launga?
Delhiite 2: Arre buddhu, usne bola tha ki “main Bihar launga”!

Kejri: Kya Modi bataaenge…
Modi’s office: Kripaya intezaar keejiye. Aap kartaar main hain. Aapk number 345678 hai…

Kejri was nausikhiya: Got 28 seats.
Did crazy midnight dharna: Got 67 seats.
Now he’s given such abysmal governance that he’ll get 70 seats next time.

Kejri said he would change the system.
He has spectacularly succeeded!
(He has made it much worse)

Mujhe PM banao, main poore India main anarchy failaaunga!
Voter: Pahale Delhi main karke dikha, fir dekhte hai.
Kejri: Challenge accepted!

Then…
There are cases against 40% MPs!
Now…
There aren’t cases against 40% AAP MLAs!
‪#‎Kejri‬

Kejri isn’t CM without portfolio. He’s…
Minister of External (Anything but Delhi) Affairs.
Minister of Information & Broadcasting Against Modi.

Zero portfolios.
Multiple MLAs out on bail.
21 extra parliamentary secretaries.
Water-power-garbage woes.
A million allegations.
‪#‎KingKejri‬

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Kejri vs Modi…

Posted on by
Reply

Only in India would…

…a man who has frauds related to education with his MLAs question the degree of the Prime Minister even though there was zero controversy in that regard.

…a man call the Prime Minister a psychopath on Twitter, see his online supporters indulge in dirty tricks and then complain of non-stop abuse from trolls.

…the least experienced and zero achievement Chief Minister try to rubbish one of the most successful Chief Ministers ever.

…a man who faces a handful of cases against himself and dozens against his brand new party keep hurling non-stop allegations against the Prime Minister.

…a man hug one the most corrupt Chief Ministers in country and then accuse the Prime Minister of corruption.

© Sunil Rajguru