Strange similarities between Australia in ODI cricket and Brazil in FIFA…

people-1284253_640Brazil has won 5 World Cups.
Australia has won 5 World Cups.

Brazil has won those World Cups in 5 continents.
Australia has won those World Cups in 5 continents.

Brazil has entered 7 World Cup finals.
Australia has entered 7 World Cup finals.

Brazil has never lost a World Cup semi-final.
Australia has never lost a World Cup semi-final.

Brazil has hosted the World Cup twice.
Australia has hosted the World Cup twice.

Brazil generally wears yellow.
Australia generally wears yellow.

(Note: Football and cricket are the two most popular sports in the world in terms of viewership.)

© Sunil Rajguru

My World Cup 2015 Columns

Why Team India is still an overachiever
March 30, 2015,

Which cricketing age begins in 2015?
March 30, 2015,

Dhoni still best bet against Aussies…
March 30, 2015,

Will the choker troika ever win?
March 30, 2015,

The absolute boredom of a non-Aussie fan
March 29, 2015,

Dhoni and the great team bubble
March 27, 2015,

Please, we are rich travellers!
March 27, 2015,

Has Dhoni’s golden era ended?
March 27, 2015,

The Dhoni-Kohli show finally ends
March 26, 2015,

India chokes for two World Cups in-a-row
March 26, 2015,

The curse of South Africa
March 24, 2015,

The Great South African fielding meltdown…
March 24, 2015,

Versus Australia, it’s Advantage India…
March 23, 2015,

India leads Australia 4-0 in ICC knockouts
March 22, 2015,

Battle of the Chokers II
March 22, 2015,

Seven jinxes nixed in the World Cup
March 22, 2015,

Is this one of the weakest Pak teams ever?
March 20, 2015,

Don’t worry, the Rohit jokes will continue!
March 20, 2015,

7 highs of Team India’s 7th heaven…
March 19, 2015,

Raina and the perfect turning point!
March 19, 2015,

How 11 men killed the choke jinx…
March 18, 2015,

Slow and steady Sangakkara…
March 18, 2015,

Will it be Choke de Villiers yet again?
March 17, 2015,

Team India climbs mount consistency
March 14, 2015,

Tragedies and ironies of England and Cricket
March 11, 2015,

Oh South Africa, you are still choking!
March 7, 2015,

Minnows fight, Test teams collapse
February 28, 2015,

Myth of India’s weak ODI bowling attack
February 27, 2015,

Why so little faith, Indian cricket fan?
February 23, 2015,

Yuvi’s father’s outburst may wreck his T20 career
February 17, 2015,

India peaks at just the right time
February 15, 2015,

Why you simply can’t write India off…
February 11, 2015,

World Cup final musings…

They want to kick out the Associates to have a competitive World Cup.
The only way the World Cup can be made competitive if you kick out Australia.

Even if Winnie the Pooh led the Australians, they’d win the World Cup.

Thank you Ranatunga and Dhoni!
Otherwise Australia would have won 6 straight World Cups from 1996-2015.

Thank God that Australia has never won the T20 World Cup otherwise world cricket would have gone into total boredom for all non-Australians.

Australia, New Zealand and India all lost just one match in the World Cup.
One is the champion, one a runner up and one a semi-finalist.

Progress of New Zealand…
1975-2007—Choked in all knockout matches.
2011—Choked in the semi-final.
2015—Choked in the final.

Let’s face it—The Aussies are hands on favourites to win the ODI World Cups of 2019 and 2023.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

More AAP destruction musings…

First time Kejriwal quit in 49 days.
This time everyone else will quit in 49 days.

Information + Entertainment = Infotainment.
AAP + Nautanki = AAPotanki.

Media equality…
Modi gave “good governance” in Gujarat.
Media focused on everything else.
Kejri gave “zero governance” in Delhi.
Media focused on everything else.

One media owner to another…
Hamne Kejri ko 2013 main banaya aur invest kiya aur ab tak ROI aa raha hain!

Kaun kambakht kehta hai ki Hitler mar gaya!
Aam Aadmi Ram Prasad Sharma on the latest Golmaal.

Sholay—Loha loha ko kaat-ta hai.
AAP ka Sholay—Sting sting ko kaat-ta hai.
Nautanki nautanki ko kaat-ta hai.
Leader leader ko kaat-ta hai.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

When ODI World Cup history repeated itself…

In his first ODI World Cup as captain, Kapil Dev prevented Clive Lloyd from getting his third title in 1983. He failed in his title defence when India couldn’t chase in the semis and in the final Australia beat England which has never won an ODI World Cup till date. In between India also won the mini World Cup.

In his first ODI World Cup as captain, MS Dhoni prevented Ricky Ponting from getting his third title in 2011. He failed in his title defence when India couldn’t chase in the semis and in the final Australia beat New Zealand which has never won an ODI World Cup till date. In between India also won the mini World Cup.

© Sunil Rajguru

When AAP decided to press the self-destruct button…

2013—Bharashtachar ko jala kar raakh kar doonga.
2014—Modi ko jala kar raakh kar doonga.
2015—YoYa aur PrBh ko jala kar raakh kar doonga.
2016—Delhi ko jala kar raakh kar doonga.

In defence of Kejriwal, if I had to listen to Yogendra Yadav’s sanctimonious moral lectures day in and day out then even I’d lose my bearings.

I’m from IIN—Kejri.
I’m from IIN—YoYa.
I’m from IIN—PrBh.
I’m from IIN—Ashu.
Voter—Sasura ye IIN kya hai?
A—Indian Institute of Nautanki!

Next AAP cabinet expansion to include…
Sting Minister.
Dissent Minister
Spin Minister.
Nautanki Minister.
Dharna Minister.
TV Studio Minister.

Altaf Raja is back.
He should do a song on AAP…
Tum to thehre nautanki,
(voter ka) saath kya nibhaoge!

Smart. Absolutely nobody is asking about free WiFi, power and water reforms along with concrete anti-corruption drives.

AAP Mental Wrestling Federation Undisputed Champion…
Round 1: Kejri beats Anna.
Round 2: Kejri beats Shazia-Binny-etc.
Round 3: Kejri beats Bedi.
Round 4: Kejri versus YoYa+PrBh.

The stages of struggle…
1. Mujhe chahiye Swaraj (from corruption).
2. Mujhe chahiye Swaraj (from Congress).
3. Mujhe chahiye Swaraj (from Modi).
4. Mujhe chahiye Swaraj (from Kejriwal).

AAP gave a bad manifesto: Got 28 seats.
AAP gave bad governance: Got 67 seats.
After this nonsense they’ll probably get 71/70 seats next time.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

How a simple Divide and Rule will sort out AAP’s problems…

AAP has 67 MLAs in the Delhi Assembly…

Give 36 MLAs to Kejriwal so he can call it the Arvind Aadmi Party which it actually is and continue being Chief Minister and enjoy his perks.

Give 20 MLAs to Yogendra Yadav so he can form the Yogendra Aadmi Party (YAP) and become Leader of the Opposition and yap all day in the Assembly and in front of TV cameras.

Give the Bhushans 11 MLAs so they can form the Bhushan Aadmi Party (BAP) so bap-beta can retain relevance.

Give the upcoming 3 Rajya seats to the other dissenters and tell all the AAP volunteers to go home. There’s a limit to how long you can fool so many people.

© Sunil Rajguru

India World Cup musings…

ODI World Cup.
T20 World Cup.
Champions Trophy.
Asia Cup.
Test No. 1 Ranking.
ODI No. 1 Ranking.
T20 No. 1 Ranking.
So much won from 2007-13.

Olympic hockey golds (1948, 52, 56, 64, 80).
Hockey World Cup (1975).
Cricket World Cups (1983, 2007, 2011).
All won only when Congress was in power.

During leagues Dhoni wanted to take LED stumps but wasn’t allowed.
Organizers said they would allow if he won semi-final.
Hopefully in another tournament then!

Now we need a Section 66A in Indo-Australia matches to prevent sledging from going totally out of control.
‪#‎IndVsAus‬ ‪#‎CWC15‬

India has many Ishant-Rohit-Jadeja jokes.
South Africa has many chokes.
‪#‎NZVsSA‬ ‪#‎CWC15‬

If you are on deputation for 6 months abroad you become an NRI.
The Indian cricket team is currently in its 5th month in Australia.
‪#‎IndVsAus‬ ‪#‎CWC15‬

Half the Indian cricket team is from Mumbai.
Half the team is from Karnataka.
Half the team is from Chennai Super Kings.

© Sunil Rajguru

25 things (or less) Columns

7 reasons Indians are the most racist in the world
DailyO, February 5, 2016

7 reasons marriage will be dead in the 21st century
February 4, 2016,

7 reasons student politics should be banned in India
January 19,

Seven reasons to fear Lalu Prasad Yadav
November 12, 2015,

8 #BlowToModi moments in 2015
November 9, 2015,

10 things you didn’t know about beef bans
October 5, 2015,

10 things about RTI Act that completes 10 years
October 5, 2015,

Eight hits of Lal Bahadur Shastri
October 5, 2015,

Seven cricketing pioneers in India
September 22, 2015,

10 ways to define paid news…
September 4, 2015,

Seven learnings from the Sri Lanka tour
September 2, 2015,

10 reasons why we shouldn’t have talks with Pakistan…
August 24, 2015,

Eight reasons why Indian cricket is doomed
July 22, 2015,

10 Padma awardees deserving a Bharat Ratna
June 24, 2015,

11 abysmal lows of the Aam Aadmi Party
May 12, 2015,

9 ways in which Nehru was a bad pioneer…
April 13, 2015,

5 reasons why you can’t ban online porn
August 6, 2015,

10 reasons why Kalam was the coolest President
July 28, 2015,

7 Indians with more than 7 international films, February 9, 2016

The 7 deadly sins of Indian journalism, February 9, 2016

Five duds of Kapil Sibal
March 24, 2015,

6 things to note about the Nirbhaya documentary…
March 6, 2015,

6 shortages plaguing the Congress
February 2, 2015,

10 deadly Boko Haram attacks
January 13, 2015,

8 last laughs of Subramanian Swamy…
January 13, 2015,

7 global trends for India in 2014…
January 1, 2015,

Columns of 2014

Columns till 2013…

My Kejriwal-AAP Columns…

Drama queen to Twitter troll: 10 roles Kejriwal excels at
January 15,

Kejriwal and Pappu: A Tale of Two Angry Old Men
January 6,

When Arvind Kejriwal Transformed Into ‘Abusive Troll’
December 15, 2015,

8 reasons why #DelhiOddEvenLogic will totally fail!
December 8,

Why Kejriwal hugging Lalu is good for Aam Aadmi Party
November 23,

Seven reasons to be wary of Somnath Bharti
September 28, 2015,

11 abysmal lows of the Aam Aadmi Party
May 12, 2015,

Show-off New Delhi gets a show-off CM
April 2, 2015,

The many questions over AAP’s death rally
April 25, 2015,

Hello Kejri, what about Delhi?
March 24, 2015,

Why AAP = Akela Arvind Party
March 11, 2015,

How Kejriwal has become the new Lalu!
February 14, 2015,

AAP = Kejriwal’s I, me and myself
January 30, 2015,

When will media balloon around Kejriwal burst?
January 26, 2015,

Columns till 2014

Cricket kab paida hua, kab jawaan hua aur kab mar gaya…

cricket-724616_640Test cricket England main paida hua, Australia main jawaan hua aur India ke foreign Tests main mar gaya.

ODI cricket England main paida hua, India main jawaan hua aur phir England main gharwaapsi karke mar gaya.

T20 cricket England main paida hua, India main jawaan hua aur phir IPL main dher saara paise daalke ventilator aur oxygen pe jee raha hai.

First Class cricket kab paida hua, kab jawaan hua aur kab mar gaya ye kisi ko ab tak pata nahin.

Women’s cricket England main paida hua, kabhi kabhi TV World Cup coverage pe jeeta hai aur generally mara pada rahata hai.

Cricket England main Gentleman’s Game bana, Australia main Sledger’s Delight hua aur India main aake Corrupt Crorepati bana aur woh gentleman kab ka mar chuka hai.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

When New Zealand thrashed West Indies in the quarters…

World Cup runs scored by Shahid Afridi in 12 years and 19 matches…
World Cup runs scored by Martin Guptill in 3.5 hours…

Progression of 1Day 2Hundred…
1971-2009: 0.
2010-11: 2 by 1 country.
2013-14: 2 by 1 man.
2015: 2 in 1 World Cup.
Next: 2 in 1 match?

After 30 overs…
New Zealand—160.
West Indies—250.
Bas, thoda wicket column main maar khaa gaye Windies!
PS—You can double your score after 30 overs.

Economy rate of New Zealand bowlers…
And New Zealand won by 143 runs!

West Indies…
1983 World Cup—140 all down in 52 overs.
2015 World Cup—250 all down in 30.3 overs.

Still the most unique ODI double centurion…
Rohit Sharma (264) beat Sri Lanka (251).

These versions by Sunil Rajguru