The 5 stages of grief for Trump haters…

…after he became President elect of America…

1. Denial: He can’t have been elected. Hillary won the popular vote. That’s not fair! There’s been some mistake. This can’t be happening. Why have all the voters been fooled in this manner? The Electoral College sucks. It must be done away with. #NotMyPresident. We need a recount! A recount might just overturn the verdict! What if the Electoral College voted by conscience. There’s still a chance! Cry. Sob! Sob! Boo hoo! How have we become such a racist country?

2. Anger: He’s a dictator who will destroy America and the world. There will be a dictatorship. He will turn America into a Fascist State! There will be no rights for anyone. Freedom of speech and expression won’t exist! Protest! Rant! Rage! Riot on the streets. Beat up Trump supporters. Bully Electoral College members and threaten them.

After January 20, 2017 when he’s inaugurated…

3. Bargaining: We will accept him if he does this, this, this, this and this and this and…this and this and… a list which will never end and will never be satisfied…

After a few months into 2017 when he’ll be doing a pretty decent job…

4. Depression: The Great Depression. The delusional media will cope by continuing to manufacture outright lies. Liberals, Hollywood stars, Silicon Valley czars and so-called intellectuals cope by trivializing Trump’s every move. A schizophrenic dichotomy will be created where in the real world Trump will be doing pretty well but in the virtual world he’ll be a total disaster.

5. Acceptance: May come only if Trump is re-elected in 2020—Till then it’s only depression and depression and depression upon depression.

© Sunil Rajguru

Oh those liberals…

Castro. Stalin. Mao.
The bigger the mass murderer, the bigger the admiration from liberals, intellectuals and Leftists.

#Liberalism101
Democratically elected Capitalists are tyrants.
Mass murdering Communist despotic tyrants are angels.

United States of Deplorables.
Dis-United Kingdom.
European Dis-Union.
Modified India.
#LiberalNightmares

#AdarshLiberals
1984-89: Bronze Age.
1975-77: Silver Age.
1947-64: Golden Age.
2004-14: Diamond Age.
2016-__: Deep Dark Age.

For #AdarshLiberals, #Demonetization is the new Godhra.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Yet more Trump victory musings…

Freedom of Speech.
Followers of Obama, Hillary, Sonia etc can abuse as much as they want.
Followers of Trump, Modi etc can’t criticize.

Same to same.
In 2008, Americans voted against the establishment.
In 2016, Americans voted against the Obama establishment.

Trump was attacked and abused 24X7.
His Presidency will be smooth for him because he’s already used to it.

Billionaire Trump ridiculed globally.
Billionaire Thiel ridiculed in Silicon Valley.
Shows how powerful Hillary was.
“was”.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Yet more #Demonetization musings…

America: Credit is king.
India yesterday: Cash is king.
India today: Cashless is king.

Modi—Cashless.
Kejri—Useless.
Pappu—Brainless.
Mamata—Witless.
Sonia—Powerless.
Opposition—Purposeless.
Ole black money—Worthless.

Sonia agitating in the streets and giving interviews.
Pappu standing in ATM lines.
Both already appeared in court like commoners.
#AccheDin

By the time the Opposition finishes with its nautanki and the courts finish analyzing it, #Demonetization would have been fully implemented.

For most Opposition parties, Demonetization is nothing but Demoralization.

Take news channels seriously and it’ll appear that in the last 10 days, 100 crores have been standing in line for 10 hours a day.

During recession…
“No vacancy” at offices.
During #Demonetization…
“No cash” at ATMs.

Khokas and Petis.
Post #Demonetization
Petis become khokla.
Khokas become petty.

Dear Mamata,
Widespread 2002 “pakki khabar” headline…
Vajpayee will remove Modi from politics.
Uske baad na jaane kitne aaye aur gaye hai!

When you try to dress up black money as white…
Kaale kaale mukhde pe gora gora chasma.

Sad to see Opposition leaders press the self-destruct button one by one.
They are bent on making Modi a dictator post-2019.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

#Demaunetization… when the silent one spoke…

If Einstein was alive, he would have said of Manmohan…
Generations to come will scarce believe that such a one as this ever in flesh and blood walked upon this earth without a spine.

Sonia released Robot 1.0 in 2004, it ran till 2009.
Sonia released Robot 2.0 in 2009, it ran till 2014.
Even Rajinikanth can’t beat that!

Manmohan as The Trinity…
1991-96: The Creator.
2004-09: The Preserver.
2009-14: The Destroyer.

Manmohan Singh taught me…
1. Money doesn’t grow on trees.
2. #TheekHai.
3. In the end we are all dead.

Modi doesn’t know what he’s saying before a speech.
(Because it’s extempore.)
Manmohan also doesn’t know what he’s saying before a speech.
(Because someone else has written it and he’s given it at the last moment.)

His multiple choices …
a) First Manmohan Singh became Economist.
b) Second he became Bureaucrat.
c) Third he became Politician.
d) Finally he became “None of the Above”.

SINGH is King!
S = Spectrum, coal and many other scams.
I = Internet Emergency.
N = No spine whatsoever.
G = Gayab. (Awaaz, governance, etc…)
H = Home and abroad both equal failures.

A movie on Manmohan Singh’s life would be called O.H.M.S.
On Her Majesty’s Service.
He has been serving the Dynasty and not the nation since 1998.

Everyone knew Manmohan was a tubelight.
He started speaking about 2004-14 misrule only in 2016.

The problem with watching Manmohan Singh’s speech is that I funnily get the feeling that any time now he’s going to burst into tears.

Manmohan Singh…
The only man to have given 1300 official speeches and still said nothing.

Sanjaya Baru calls Manmohan Singh an accidental Prime Minister.
Par accident to India ka hua na?
MMS = Minion of Madam Sonia.

Madam: #Demonetization kaisa hai?
Puppet: #TheekHai!
Madam: Kya!!! Aaj RS main blast karna hai!
Puppet: #TheekHai! (I’ll just describe UPA)

Even at the age of 84, after his speech he’ll have to go to her and say…
Madam! Main theek bola na? Aap khush to ho na?

Under the Manmohan regime, crooks freely converted white money to black with impunity.
He’s upset it’s all being undone by #Demonetization.

Manmohan Singh: The Father of Polinomics.
Half (Politicize economics)
+ Half (Economize politics)
= Zero.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Another never-ending round of Pappu musings…

Pappu: Has no brain.
Puppet: Can’t use his brain.

Rahul is about
½ of Manmohan’s age
¼ of his grace
1/6 of his experience
1/8 of his intellect
But Manmohan is zero.
So they are both same in the end.

Nehru pushed Indira into politics.
Indira pushed Sanjay/Rahul politics.
Sonia pushing Pappu into politics.

Advisor: We are at an all-time low of 45 Lok Sabha seats. We can’t go any lower!
Pappu: Challenge accepted!

Manmohan Singh’s biography…
The Accidental Prime Minister.
Rahul Gandhi’s biography…
The Accident.

All dynasts got Prime Ministership/Remote Control on platter.
Pappu has been an MP for 12 years and is still struggling.
#AccheDin

In 15 years, Indira won party leadership, elections, wars, did Pokhran, made many bold moves…
In last 15 years, #Pappini Priyanka bagged Sidhu.

Modi 2019 strategy: Development + Governance + #SurgicalStrikes + FDI windfall + 500 rallies…
Congress 2019 strategy: Hey! #Pappini Priyanka looks like Indira!

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Lalu still rocks musings…

#LaluLand
Kejri wants to be like Lalu.
Nitish joins hands with Lalu.
Mamata will turn WB into Laluland.
Media will continue loving Lalu.

Jab tak rahega samose main alu,
Tab tak Kejri ka nautanki rahega chalu.
#AngreziLalu

Rulers of…
National politics—Modi.
Comedy—Pappu.
Drama—Kejri.
Jungle Raj—Lalu.
Illegal aliens—Mamata.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

All hail Hillary on the biggest loss in the history of democracy…

The mainstream media backed Hillary.
The global media backed Hillary.
The Obama Presidency apparatus backed Hillary.
Most world leaders backed Hillary.
The pollsters backed Hillary.
The Democratic National Committee backed Hillary.
Most of the Republican old guard backed Hillary.
The Democratic old guard backed Hillary.
All the living Presidents backed Hillary.
Intellectuals backed Hillary.
Liberals backed Hillary.
Feminists backed Hillary.
NGOs backed Hillary.
The debate questions backed Hillary.
The debate moderators backed Hillary.
Even the debate layout (putting chairs, low mike for Trump etc) backed Hillary.
The Corporate world backed Hillary.
The war industry backed Hillary.
Hollywood superstars backed Hillary.
Silicon Valley czars backed Hillary.
Prominent billionaires backed Hillary.
The FBI and Justice Department virtually backed Hillary.
Black Lives Matter backed Hillary.
Illegal aliens voted and backed Hillary.
Most of the rich donors backed Hillary.
Even a sitting Supreme Court judge trashed Trump and openly backed Hillary.
Sanders backed Hillary (even with a knife of betrayal in his back).
Violent protestors thrashed Trump supporters and backed Hillary.

Despite all this, Hillary was so useless that she got thrashed 232-306 in the electoral college by a 70-year-old man with virtually zero political experience and who never held a political post in his entre life and who was attacked and demonized 24X7 by most of the above mentioned groups.

Despite all this she was declared victor even before the final vote had been caste, she had her transition team ready and Newsweek even shipped copies declaring her Madam President.

Despite all this most of the above groups still can’t believe it and behave as if a landslide was stolen from her and protest violently.

Let’s just declare her the most unelectable candidate in the history of humanity and move on.

If her backers support her fake martyrdom all the way to 2020, then get ready for a Trump landslide.

(C) Sunil Rajguru

Pappu-Kejri get #Demonetized

Modi is really lucky that he has clowns like Pappu and Kejri as his chief political opponents.

Kejri has sunk so low off late that he has emerged on the other side of the globe.

Under Nehru-Indira-Rajiv, queues (wait) for gas connections, phones, scooters and cars used to last for years.
Now Congress screams for a wait of hours.

Pappu visits yet another ATM.
For him ATM has become…
Any Time Mockery.

Tumhara votebank?
Pappu: Minorities, par unke liye kuch nahin kiya! LOL!
Kejri: Mera corruption plank aur maine bhi corruption ke liye kuch nahin kiya. LOL!

Many politicians in India today…
Nahin chalegi nahin chalegi,
Bharashtachar ke khilaaf tanashaahi nahin chalegi!

2011.
India Against Corruption.
2016.
Politicians have just stopped short of officially launching…
India For Corruption.

Rahul looks like Rajiv.
But sounds like a Pappu.
Mrs Vadra looks like Indira.
But sounds like Sonia.
#Pappini #Priyanka #UPPolls

The 2017 August Kranti agitation will be against Kejri.
Anna Hazare could still lead it.

2000: Rajesh Pilot died.
2001: Madhavrao Scindia died.
2012: Pranab Mukherjee became President.
2014: Manmohan Singh era ended.
No real leaders left in Congress.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Media gets #Demonetized

Lalu Jungle Raj.
Media: Wah wah!
Akhilesh Goonda Raj.
Media: Wah wah!
Mamata anarchy.
Media: Wah wah!
Modi makes bold move.
Media: This will cost him next election!
(Won 4/4 for CM/PM by the way)

Journo 1: I am a crime reporter. You?
Journo 2: I am an ATM/bank queue reporter. I’ve become quite a specialist at it too!

One TV news channel to another…
Bhala tumhara ATM line hamara ATM line se lamba kaise?

Modi: I can end black money!
Media: I can end Modi’s career! (By showing only negativity. Trying and failing since 2002.)

Before….
Show a line of commentators on the TV screen venting non-stop.
Now….
Show a bank/ATM line on the TV screen venting non-stop.

ATM/Bank queues are the new Panel Discussions for Indian TV news channels.

There is a breed of commentators in India who have no ideology or stand or real views.
They just oppose whatever Modi does.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Yet more #Demonetization musings

2009—Manmohan will bring change.
2011—Anna Hazare will bring change.
2014—Modi will bring change.
2016—The bank manager will bring change.

ATM: Any Time Money.
STM: Some Time Money.

#MakeInIndia + #Demonetization
=
Eradicating Pakistani counterfeit notes.

Citizen in 2014: Modi I want you to change this country.
Citizen in 2016: Modi I want you bring lots of change in this country.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Yet more Hillary musings…

She had it all…
H—Hubby ex-President
I—Intellectuals
L—Liberals
L—Leftists
A—Aliens (Illegal)
R—Radio-TV-Newspapers
Y—Year-long lead
She still lost!!!

In the Trump-Hillary match—organizers, officials, umpires, commentators, judges… all were with Hillary and she still lost.
Hillary supporters yet understand the magnitude of the ultimate loser.

If Trump’s slogan was #ImWithHim.
If Hillary’s slogan was #MakeAmericaGreatAgain.
Liberals would say…
Trump is an egotistic bigot!
Hillary is inclusive!

These versions by Sunil Rajguru