The #Demonetization debate rages on…

Rome wasn’t built in a day.
—From an old French saying.
Rome Rajya can’t be dismantled in a day.
—New Indian saying.
(So far on track. #Demonetization)

Pappu says demonetization worse than Hiroshima.
For him its true.
After Hiroshima, Nehru-Indira-Rajiv became Prime Minister.
After demonetization, no Nehru-Gandhi dynast may ever become PM.

There’s some major magic-voodoo in #Demonetisation.
Modi Haters are seriously inconvenienced with rotten luck.
Modi supporters managing though.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

25 great stories out of #Demonetization…

1. Black money economy severely hit.
2. Corrupt people finally lose their money by dumping or burning.
3. Poor get some commission for conversion, benefits them.
4. Push towards more and more bank accounts.
5. Cashless economy push.
6. Counterfeit notes checked.
7. Terrorist funding checked.
8. Dawood funding checked.
9. Hence Pakistan checked (6. to 8.). Financial terrorism stops.
10. Underworld funding checked.
11. Naxalism funding checked.
12. More Naxalites being arrested.
13. India’s mindset changed, habits will change.
14. Black money folks finally afraid and things will become more difficult.
15. Black money political funding hit, especially during elections.
16. White economy boosted.
17. India now seen as a less corrupt country in the world.
18. Tracking black money made easier.
19. Money laundering under sharp focus.
20. Government tax revenue increases.
21. Hawala industry under sharp focus.
22. Circulation of money increases in India, black money hoarding stagnation hit.
23. Utilities flooded with old notes and become flush with funds.
24. Temporary normalcy in Kashmir showing how unrest was funded with black money.
25. Advance tax up and many get salaries in advance.

2 main focus areas of #AdarshLiberals and mainstream media…
1. Queues. Queues. Queues. Queues. Queues. Queues. Queues. Queues. Queues…
2. Modi will lose 2019.
(After shouting from rooftops that he will lose 2002, 2007, 2014 etc)

(C) Sunil Rajguru

Yet more #Demonetization musings…

Roti, kapada, makaan, bijli aur bandwidth.
—Late NASSCOM chief Dewang Mehta.
Now “bandwidth” is the key for our march to cashless economy.

Most people in India must be thinking that cashless economy simply means no availability of hard cash.

IAF.
We fight wars.
We go in overdrive during earthquakes and floods.
We also fly money during #Demonetization to sort out cash crunch!

Ask not what you can do for the country but what the country can do for you in terms of looted money.
—Politicians in the Pre-#Demonetization era.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Yet more #Demonetization musings…

America: Credit is king.
India yesterday: Cash is king.
India today: Cashless is king.

Modi—Cashless.
Kejri—Useless.
Pappu—Brainless.
Mamata—Witless.
Sonia—Powerless.
Opposition—Purposeless.
Ole black money—Worthless.

Sonia agitating in the streets and giving interviews.
Pappu standing in ATM lines.
Both already appeared in court like commoners.
#AccheDin

By the time the Opposition finishes with its nautanki and the courts finish analyzing it, #Demonetization would have been fully implemented.

For most Opposition parties, Demonetization is nothing but Demoralization.

Take news channels seriously and it’ll appear that in the last 10 days, 100 crores have been standing in line for 10 hours a day.

During recession…
“No vacancy” at offices.
During #Demonetization…
“No cash” at ATMs.

Khokas and Petis.
Post #Demonetization
Petis become khokla.
Khokas become petty.

Dear Mamata,
Widespread 2002 “pakki khabar” headline…
Vajpayee will remove Modi from politics.
Uske baad na jaane kitne aaye aur gaye hai!

When you try to dress up black money as white…
Kaale kaale mukhde pe gora gora chasma.

Sad to see Opposition leaders press the self-destruct button one by one.
They are bent on making Modi a dictator post-2019.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

#Demaunetization: When the silent one spoke!

If Einstein was alive, he would have said of Manmohan…
Generations to come will scarce believe that such a one as this ever in flesh and blood walked upon this earth without a spine.

Sonia released Robot 1.0 in 2004, it ran till 2009.
Sonia released Robot 2.0 in 2009, it ran till 2014.
Even Rajinikanth can’t beat that!

Manmohan as The Trinity…
1991-96: The Creator.
2004-09: The Preserver.
2009-14: The Destroyer.

Manmohan Singh taught me…
1. Money doesn’t grow on trees.
2. #TheekHai.
3. In the end we are all dead.

Modi doesn’t know what he’s saying before a speech.
(Because it’s extempore.)
Manmohan also doesn’t know what he’s saying before a speech.
(Because someone else has written it and he’s given it at the last moment.)

His multiple choices …
a) First Manmohan Singh became Economist.
b) Second he became Bureaucrat.
c) Third he became Politician.
d) Finally he became “None of the Above”.

SINGH is King!
S = Spectrum, coal and many other scams.
I = Internet Emergency.
N = No spine whatsoever.
G = Gayab. (Awaaz, governance, etc…)
H = Home and abroad both equal failures.

A movie on Manmohan Singh’s life would be called O.H.M.S.
On Her Majesty’s Service.
He has been serving the Dynasty and not the nation since 1998.

Everyone knew Manmohan was a tubelight.
He started speaking about 2004-14 misrule only in 2016.

The problem with watching Manmohan Singh’s speech is that I funnily get the feeling that any time now he’s going to burst into tears.

Manmohan Singh…
The only man to have given 1300 official speeches and still said nothing.

Sanjaya Baru calls Manmohan Singh an accidental Prime Minister.
Par accident to India ka hua na?
MMS = Minion of Madam Sonia.

Madam: #Demonetization kaisa hai?
Puppet: #TheekHai!
Madam: Kya!!! Aaj RS main blast karna hai!
Puppet: #TheekHai! (I’ll just describe UPA)

Even at the age of 84, after his speech he’ll have to go to her and say…
Madam! Main theek bola na? Aap khush to ho na?

Under the Manmohan regime, crooks freely converted white money to black with impunity.
He’s upset it’s all being undone by #Demonetization.

Manmohan Singh: The Father of Polinomics.
Half (Politicize economics)
+ Half (Economize politics)
= Zero.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Pappu-Kejri get #Demonetized

Modi is really lucky that he has clowns like Pappu and Kejri as his chief political opponents.

Kejri has sunk so low off late that he has emerged on the other side of the globe.

Under Nehru-Indira-Rajiv, queues (wait) for gas connections, phones, scooters and cars used to last for years.
Now Congress screams for a wait of hours.

Pappu visits yet another ATM.
For him ATM has become…
Any Time Mockery.

Tumhara votebank?
Pappu: Minorities, par unke liye kuch nahin kiya! LOL!
Kejri: Mera corruption plank aur maine bhi corruption ke liye kuch nahin kiya. LOL!

Many politicians in India today…
Nahin chalegi nahin chalegi,
Bharashtachar ke khilaaf tanashaahi nahin chalegi!

2011.
India Against Corruption.
2016.
Politicians have just stopped short of officially launching…
India For Corruption.

Rahul looks like Rajiv.
But sounds like a Pappu.
Mrs Vadra looks like Indira.
But sounds like Sonia.
#Pappini #Priyanka #UPPolls

The 2017 August Kranti agitation will be against Kejri.
Anna Hazare could still lead it.

2000: Rajesh Pilot died.
2001: Madhavrao Scindia died.
2012: Pranab Mukherjee became President.
2014: Manmohan Singh era ended.
No real leaders left in Congress.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Media gets #Demonetized

Lalu Jungle Raj.
Media: Wah wah!
Akhilesh Goonda Raj.
Media: Wah wah!
Mamata anarchy.
Media: Wah wah!
Modi makes bold move.
Media: This will cost him next election!
(Won 4/4 for CM/PM by the way)

Journo 1: I am a crime reporter. You?
Journo 2: I am an ATM/bank queue reporter. I’ve become quite a specialist at it too!

One TV news channel to another…
Bhala tumhara ATM line hamara ATM line se lamba kaise?

Modi: I can end black money!
Media: I can end Modi’s career! (By showing only negativity. Trying and failing since 2002.)

Before….
Show a line of commentators on the TV screen venting non-stop.
Now….
Show a bank/ATM line on the TV screen venting non-stop.

ATM/Bank queues are the new Panel Discussions for Indian TV news channels.

There is a breed of commentators in India who have no ideology or stand or real views.
They just oppose whatever Modi does.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Yet more #Demonetization musings

2009—Manmohan will bring change.
2011—Anna Hazare will bring change.
2014—Modi will bring change.
2016—The bank manager will bring change.

ATM: Any Time Money.
STM: Some Time Money.

#MakeInIndia + #Demonetization
=
Eradicating Pakistani counterfeit notes.

Citizen in 2014: Modi I want you to change this country.
Citizen in 2016: Modi I want you bring lots of change in this country.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Kejri ko #Demonetization pe itna gussa kyun aa raha hai?

2011: Anti-corruption march.
2016: Anti anti-corruption march

2011 August Kranti: Anti-corruption.
2016 November Bahut Krantikari: Anti Anti-corruption.

2011: Promises all measures to fight against all corruption.
2016: Fights against all anti-corruption measures.

2011: I will end the corruption of UPA.
2016: I will end the anti-corruption of NDA.

Who would’ve thought?
The party born out of the anti-corruption movement is now marching against anti-corruption!

Mamata rules like a dictator.
Calls #Demonetisation Draconian.
Kejri claims to be against corruption.
Calls an anti-corruption move corrupt.

Does dharna-anarchy.
He won a Magsaysay?
Talks nonsense 24X7.
He’s an IITian?
Talks nonsense on #Demonetization.
He’s ex-IRS?

After running out of his current nonsense, Kejri will be alleging aliens, UFOs, Illuminati, Area 51, the Apocalypse… in the 2019 elections.

If Kejri was Sports Editor of a newspaper…
Sports Page would carry business, foreign, national, films, horoscope…
Anything but sports!

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

The Congress and #Demonetization

Think it over…
In 1954 Nehru introduced the super high Rs 10,000 note for a poor India.
That would have helped the corrupt rich or ordinary citizens?

There have been three demonetizations.
1946.
1978.
2016.
What is common to all three?
Congress was not in charge.
That itself tells the story.

1954—Congress Finance Minister introduces whopping Rs 10,000 note.
2016—After tonnes of inflation, ex-Congress Finance Minister puzzled at Rs 2,000 note.
#Chidu

Sonia presides over a 100 scams.
Everyone’s happy with her.
Modi does a 100 good things.
24X7 attacks and analysis of how he’ll lose 2019 for actually doing good!

Pappu’s shoot and scoot politics explained with lyrics of Oye Oye’s Tridev (1989)…
Gali gali main firta hai tu kyun banke banjara…

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

So #Demonetization has hit them really really hard

Mr India, 2016.
Mogambo enters India, vows destruction.
#Demonetization happens.
Mogambo’s black money wiped out, flees India.
The End.

TV news.
20% coverage = All the benefits, pitfalls and long-term implications of #Demonetization.
80% coverage = Long queues.

Modi will lose 2002.
Modi will lose 2007.
Modi will lose 2014.
Modi will lose 2019 due to #Demonetization.
Yawn!

Beware!
Modi doesn’t believe in ATM but ATDM.
ATDM = Any Time De-Monetization!

#BewafaSonamGupta nahin, par woh black note tha jispe us ka naam likha tha.
#BewafaSonamGupta ek thi, par bewafa black note lakhon main hai.

Baad main na kahana kucch bhi,
Pahale hi de doon warning,
Party chalegi till all the corrupt are in mourning,
Abhi to party shuru hui hai!
#KalaDhan

If America did #Demonetization of the $100 bill, forget America, the whole world would descend into chaos.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

The pains of #Demonetization

India hasn’t been Modified yet.
We’re not even halfway there.

ATMs.
Yesterday.
Open… 24 hours.
Today.
Open… Till stocks last!

If today you have a lot of change in the form of Rs 100 notes, then you are a Chhuttapati.

Government should have opened online liquor home delivery stores along with #Demonetisation.
Would have done roaring business.

Hit hard…
Lower/middle class with white money—Short run.
Rich class with black money—Long run.
Managing…
Those with cards/net banking/PayTM.

#Demonetisation for the…
Corrupt—Devastating.
Common man—Long queues.
Bank employees—Long hours.
Online companies—Growth!
Opposition—Ammo to attack.

Yesterday…
Beggar to common man—Bhagwaan ke naam pe chutte de de re baba!
Today…
Common man to bank—Bhagwaan ke naam pe chutte de de re baba!

We need an odd even scheme in banks.
On odd days you can deposit.
On even days you can withdraw.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru