Chinese philosophy…
Once upon a time, I, Chuang Chou, dreamt I was a butterfly, fluttering hither and thither, to all intents and purposes a butterfly. I was conscious only of my happiness as a butterfly, unaware that I was Chou. Soon I awaked, and there I was, veritably myself again. Now I do not know whether I was then a man dreaming I was a butterfly, or whether I am now a butterfly, dreaming I am a man.

Indian philosophy…

Now I do not know whether I am a free man who keeps going to jail or a convict who keeps getting free.
—Sanjay Dutt.

Now I do not know whether I am a Bangkok resident who keeps going to New Delhi or a New Delhi resident who keeps going to Bangkok.
—Pappu.

Now I do not know whether I am an honest man who is corrupt, or a corrupt man who is honest.
—Manmohan Singh.

Now I do not know whether I am an activist who’s a politician, or a politician who’s an activist.
—Arvind Kejriwal.

Now I do not know whether I am a common man with VVIP privileges, or whether I am a VVIP who is in fact a common man.
—Robert Vadra.

Now I do not know whether I am a cricketer who sells everything under the sun, or a salesman who also played cricket.
—Sachin Tendulkar.

Now I do not know whether I am a truthful man who lies all the time, or whether I am a liar who thinks he’s always telling the truth.
—Diggy Raja.

© Sunil Rajguru

Imagine at the end of August Kranti 2011 if a soothsayer had predicted…
“In 4 years Kejri will defeat Bedi in the Delhi CM elections and join hands with Laloo while heading a fleet of chargesheeted MLAs.”
He would have been sent straight to the mental asylum.

One-third MLAs accused.
Half MPs suspended.
By 2019 it’ll be a Gaayab Aadmi Party.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Amitabh Bachchan
1973—Inspector. (Zanjeer)
1976—Inspector. (Hera Pheri)
1979—Inspector. (The Great Gambler)
1980—Inspector. (Ram Balram)
1983—Inspector. (Mahaan)
1984—Inspector. (Geraftar)
1988—Inspector. (Shahenshah)
1991—Inspector. (Akayla)
1994—Inspector. (Insaniyat)
1998—Inspector. (Bade Miya, Chote Miya)
2001—Inspector. (Aks)

Aamir Khan
1973—Student. (Yaadon Ki Baraat)
1984—Student. (Holi)
1988—Student. (Qayamat Se Qayamat Tak).
1990—Student. (Dil)
1992—Student. (Jo Jeeta Wohi Sikandar)
2006—Student. (Rang De Basanti)
2009—Student. (3 Idiots)

Shahrukh Khan
1996—Major. (Army)
2004—Major. (Main Hoon Na)
2012—Major. (Jab Tak Hai Jaan)

Salman Khan
1990s—Romancing young 20 year olds.
2000s— Romancing young 20 year olds.
2010s—Romancing young 20 year olds.

© Sunil Rajguru

RT means…
Twitter—ReTweet.
Travel—Rapid Transit.
Restaurants—Ruby Tuesday.
Titles—Right Honourable.
Cricket—Rohit’s Talent.

Jab tak sooraj chand rahega,
Rohit tera talent rahega.

Talented cricketer kaisa ho?
Rohit Sharma jaisa ho!

The t in Rohit stands for talent!
Woh to theek hain, but will we have to through r o h i first to get to t?

Rohit Sharma’s Test average after his first two innings = 288.
His average in the next 20 innings after firmly establishing his talent = 23.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Pakistan…
1947—Failed to get Kashmir Valley.
1971—Lost East Pakistan.
1984—Failed to get Siachen Glacier.
Next to go—Balochistan.

1947—Kashmir War.
1965—Another War.
1971—Bangladesh War.
1984—Siachen Conflict.
1980s+—Khalistan Terror.
1990s+—Valley Terror.
1999—Kargil War.
2000s+—26/11 etc
So what is there to talk with Pakistan and why are we doing it?

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Congress senior leadership exam…

Q1—Write a 1000-word essay on Dynasty founder Motilal.

Q2—Write a 1000-word essay on how Nehru was the greatest world leader ever.

Q3—Write a 1000-word essay on how Indira was the greatest female world leader ever.

Q4—Write a 1000-word essay on how Sanjay was totally misunderstood in the Emergency.

Q5—Write a 1000-word essay on how Rajiv brought computers, the Internet, mobile telephony, modernization, corporate success, the Space Age… to India.

Q6—Write a 1000-word essay on how Sonia saved India from communalism and fanaticism.

Q7—Write a 1000-word essay on how Pappu will take India to the 22nd century within 100 days of taking over as Prime Minister.

Bonus question…
Write a 100,000-word essay on how Modi is more terrible than Hitler.

© Sunil Rajguru