UPA report card….

Pranab Mukherjee, Finance Ministry.
Failed, promoted to President.

P Chidambaram, Home Ministry.
Failed, promoted to Finance.

SS Shinde, Power Ministry.
Failed, promoted to Home.

Historic precedent
Manmohan Singh, Lok Sabha elections.
Failed, promoted to Prime Minister.

Future predicament
How to handle the biggest failure of them all in the form of Rahul Gandhi.
(PM cum Party President?)

© Sunil Rajguru

Only in India…

∙ Immoral Thugs are called the Moral Police.

∙ Dishonourable Murders in cold blood are called Honour Killings.

∙ Looters of the People are called Servants of the People.

∙ Recognizing religion and caste and pandering to it is called Secularism.

∙ Greater the crime, greater is the chance of getting away.

∙ Brutal Foetus Murders are called plainly Female Infanticides.

∙ An Undertrial can complete his prison term many times over without every coming to trial.

∙ An illegal attempt to dictate what women can wear is called a Dress Code.

∙ Past great leaders are defended with violence and till death but their ideals totally forgotten.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Random Thoughts 28

∙ We are always torn between three lives.
One which we actually lead.
One which we show the world we lead.
One which we really want to lead.

∙ Behind every successful man is a woman who’s complaining that he never listens to her in the first place and probably became a success by fluke.

∙ I think when the plane stops, since everyone is in such a tearing hurry (to God knows where), they should just open the emergency exits and people should simply slide away.

∙ Question to sadhu: Life is so simple and yet we make it complicated. I know this. So why do we always make life so complicated?
Sadhu: Arre bhaiyya, nahin to tumhara is lambi zindagi main time pass kaise hoga?

∙ Spending money is the number one time pass of this generation!

∙ Just as you can’t see dark matter but feel its influence, you can’t see black money but see its influence.

© Sunil Rajguru

Hindi TV soap logic…

∙ 30 minutes of a Hindi soap opera = 10 minutes ads + 10 minutes of dragging plot with melodramatic music + 7 minutes of incessant close-ups + 3 minutes of story.
Note: That 3 minutes of the story, like the expanding universe, can even fill in a few hours, if required.

∙ Old song: Dil Vil pyaar vyaar main kya janu re…
Soap song: DIL MIL pyaar vaar main hi janu re…

∙ Hindi soap operas are like the X-files… no-one really dies… they can be brought back to life at any time.

∙ Hindi soaps are like science fiction. When they start losing TRP ratings, they simply time travel into the future.

∙ The logic of Hindi soaps has the power of washing away the grey matter of your brain.

© Sunil Rajguru

Gettysburg Address reloaded for India…

“Three score and five years ago our politicians brought forth on this continent a new nation, conceived in netagiri, and dedicated to the proposition that all politicians are created equal. This government of the politicians, by the politicians, for the politicians, shall not perish from the country.”

Since every politician from every party swears by this and is interested only in the welfare of politicians and not people, the names of the political parties and coalitions should actually be changed to…

United Politicians’ Alliance

Indian Politicians’ Congress

Neta’s Democratic Alliance

Bharatiya Neta Party

Communist Politicians of India

Communist Politicians of India (Max) (Max=To the Maximum)

Neta Dal (A,B,C…Z)

Netawadi Party

Rashtriya Neta Dal

Indian National Neta Dal

J&K Politicians’ Conference

United Front of Politicians

Left Front of Politicians

Biju Neta Dal

Bahuneta Samaj Party

These versions by Sunil Rajguru