If the commentators included match-fixing in their commentary…

…that’s a Yes Bank maximum, but it’s a poor delivery, is it fixed, in that case it definitely is a yes Bank Maximum delivery for the bowler…

…all the wickets are falling like nine pins, looks like the bookies have thrown crores and crores on the batsman of a single team…

…the captain signals the bowler to get his act together who in turn ignores the captain and signals the bookie by taking out his towel…

…everything seems to be slipping through the fielders hands except the pile of cash he will surely collect at the end of this match…

…is such a bad batsman that he can’t even score runs in what clearly looks like a fixed over…

…how many overs are fixed in this match? For your guesses, Tweet to…

…how do you feel when your team has clearly won a fixed match, call in at…

…the captain is making some pretty strange decisions, looks like the bookies have finally got to him…

© Sunil Rajguru

IPL: Inverting the pyramid…

Skill: To get a batsman to play a dot ball at will.
Greater Skill: To get a batsman to hit a six at will.

Skill: To earn money by playing good cricket.
Greater Skill: To earn more money by playing bad cricket.

Skill: To balance matches, training sessions and meetings.
Greater Skill: To balance matches, parties, interviews and franchisee commitments.

Skill: Managing administrators, senior players and commentators as contacts.
Greater Skill: Managing bookies, middlemen and underworld dons as contacts.

Bottomline: International cricket requires skills, but IPL requires greater skills.

© Sunil Rajguru

What is cricket?

Cricket is a gentleman’s game — Anonymous.

Cricket is a pyjamaman’s game — Kerry Packer.

Cricket is a batsman’s game — Modern battered bowler.

Cricket is a businessman’s game — BCCI.

Cricket is a busyman’s game — T20.

Cricket is an adman’s game — TV channels.

Cricket is a bookieman’s game — Sreesanth.

Cricket is a D-companyman’s game — Delhi Police.

Cricket is a short-term-memory-loss-man’s game — Means we will forget this fixing scandal and continue watching as if nothing has happened…

This version by Sunil Rajguru

IPL spot-fixing musings…


· If Indian cricket glorifies itself, sports channels TRPs are up.
If Indian cricket disgraces itself, news channels TRPs are up.
Either way the TRPs are up!

· Yesterday’s batsman: By God, I hope this is a loose ball.
Today’s batsman: By bookie, I hope this is a fixed ball!

· Chandila to Sree: I can match your spot-fixing.
Delhi Police: I can spot your match-fixing.
BCCI: You still can’t match my being spotless.

· Indians believe strongly in fate, meaning life itself is fixed.
What is match-fixing in front of life-fixing?

· Some 25 cricketers have been banned for fixing, (half of them Indians).
So now let’s have an India XI versus World XI match, with the losing team being declared the victor.

· In 2008, Bhajji slapped Sree.
In 2009, he got Padma Shri.
Action and reward long before spot-fixing-gate?

© Sunil Rajguru

Congress corruption musings…

· The Cabinet has just converted the Constitution’s “Collective Responsibility” principle into a “Collective Irresponsibility” one.

· All Nostradamus prophecies have to be edited…
Prophecy: Man with blue turban will rule the world.
Edited version: Man with blue turban will rule the corruption world.

· Fact 1: If all corrupt Ministers quit, Cabinet would be empty.
Fact 2: It wouldn’t make a difference, next lot would loot more to catch up.

· There is a threshold amount beyond which scamsters cannot be caught.
All Congressmen are above the limit and all others are below it.

· People share a love-hate relationship with the Congress.
Hate their corruption and arrogance, but still love to vote for them.

· Right now the relatively few clean central ministries are being pulled up for not meeting their Corruption KRAs.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

April 2013 Status Updates

· A tale of 3 cities…
Fact: Rape Capital.
Hope: Protest Capital.
Politicians: Indifference Capital.

· Two great Gujaratis dominate every century.
The 20th century had Gandhi and Patel.
The 21st century has Modi and Sir Jadeja.

(April 20)

· Anyone remember a certain Buddhadeb Bhattacharjee?
He seems like a Genius compared to the current CM.

· Real battles…
Popularity: Modi vs Sonia.
On Twitter: Modi vs Tharoor.
Most intense: Modi vs MSM.
Non-Cong: Modi Vs Nitish.
Internal: Modi vs BJP/RSS.
Oration: Modi vs Sushma/Jaitley.
Pappu doesn’t even feature saala!

(April 11)

· 1. Yama is a God.
2. He is Dharmaraj.
3. Nobody can stop him.
4. He is wise.
5. His son (Yudhistir) ruled India.
Q: Why is the Cong praising Modi?

(April 5)

· 2004: Vajpayee is out LBW, stunned by decision!
Enter UPA1.
2009: Advani clean bowled!
Enter UPA2.
2014: Modi takes guard for hat-trick ball.
Can they make it UPA3? Or will we have NDA2?

· Derek has no answers to the Didi question and even if he has, then well, the quizmaster’s decision is not final and is constantly challenged.

· Bollywood changes…
Yesterday: “Inspired” originals.
Today: Remakes, sequels and remixes.

(April 4)

© Sunil Rajguru