Modi Make in India versus Kejri Break in India

Advisor: Oppose whatever Modi does.
Kejri: OK.

Modi: Sabka Saath Sabka Vikaas.
Kejri: Apna Saath Apna Vikaas.

Modi: #SwacchaBharatAbhiyaan.
Kejri: #GarbageBharatAbhiyaan

Modi: Make in India.
Kejri: Break in India.

Modi: Pradhan Mantri Jan Dhan Yojana.
Kejri: Mukhya Mantri MLA Dhan Yojana.

Modi: Beti Bachao, Beti Padao Yojana.
Kejri: Somnath Bachao, Urine Samples Mangao Yojana.

Modi: Atal Mission for Rejuvenation and Urban Development.
Kejri: Karl Marx Mission for Destruction and Urban Underdevelopment.

Modi: Swadesh Darshan.
Kejri: Desh (Votebank Politics) Darshan.

Modi: Pilgrimage Rejuvenation and Spiritual Augmentation Drive.
Kejri: Communism Rejuvenation And Propagation.

Modi: Udaan Project.
Kejri: Crash Project.

Modi: Digital India.
Kejri: No WiFi India.

Modi: Skill India.
Kejri: Dharna India.

Modi: Garib Kalyan Yojana.
Kejri: Ameer Kalyan Yojana.

Modi: Smart City Yojana.
Kejri: Dumb City Yojana.

Etc…

Kejri promises…
2013—I will end corruption.
2015—I will end all of Delhi’s problems.
2020—I will end all the problems that I have created.

Under Kejri Delhi will become…
‪#‎GarbageCity‬
‪#‎DarkCity‬
‪#‎DryCity‬
‪#‎DumbCity‬
But he’s a ‪#‎SmartMan‬ for he’s got his position, power and privileges.

© Sunil Rajguru

How Oxbridge (Oxford + Cambridge) totally destroyed India…

oxford-2368748_640Manmohan Singh: Worst Prime Minister in India’s history. Most spineless. Masterminded inaction. Presided over the most corrupt government in Independent India’s history.
Alma Mater: Oxford. Cambridge.

Jawaharlal Nehru: First Prime Minister laid down totally useless economic and foreign policy foundations that went bankrupt in decades. Established an intolerant Communist Coterie that calls the shots to this very day.
Alma Mater: Cambridge.

Indira Gandhi: The only Indian leader to have imposed dictatorship (Emergency) in India.
Alma Mater: Oxford.

Fakhruddin Ali Ahmed: The President who signed the above Emergency proclamation without a second thought.
Alma Mater: Oxford.

Rajiv Gandhi: Took intolerance and coterie to a new level and Bofors still remains arguably the biggest scam brand. Squandered the greatest Lok Sabha mandate ever.
Alma Mater: Cambridge.

Rahul Gandhi: One of the worst Prime Ministerial candidates around who could still make PM in the future.
Alma Mater: Cambridge.

Lord Curzon: Implemented the Partition of Bengal, the ultimate Divide and Rule trick which laid the foundations for communal tensions and the eventual Partition of India.
Alma Mater: Oxford.

Mani Shankar Aiyar: India’s greatest political Sycophant and the greatest lackey of the Nehru-Gandhi Dynasty.
Alma Mater: Cambridge.

Salman Khurshid: India’s worst Foreign Minister.
Alma Mater: Oxford.

© Sunil Rajguru

Kaam haraam hai…

Woh kaam karte rahe, hum aaram karte rahe.
—Sri Sri Kejri Baba.

Woh kaam karte rahe, hum vyayaam karte rahe.
—Baba Ramdev.

Woh kaam karte rahe, hum farm karte rahe.
—HD Deve Gowda.

Woh kaam karte rahe, hum harm karte rahe.
—Mamata.

Woh araam karte rahe, hum uska daam bharte rahe.
—Congress on Pappu.

Woh kaam karte rahe, hum Ram Ram karte rahe.
—Alok Nath.

Hum aaram karte rahe, ab woh (Nitish) bhi aaram karte raha jaayenge.
—Lalu.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

The End of Bihar as we know it…

Jab tak rahega samose main aloo,
Tab tak rahega Bihar main Laloo,
Aur ghanghor Jungle Raj rahega chaloo,
Nitish bola good governance ko thoda taloo,
Phir saare chor badmaash ko paloo,
Aur ant main saara development ko main permanently maar daloo.
The End.

Lalu Kachalu beta kahan gaye the?
Retirement ki tokri main so rahe the,
Modi ne laat mara ro rahe the,
Nitish ne alliance kiya to has rahe the.
(Ab Bihar bees saal tak royega,
Lalu + pariwar bees saal tak hasta rahega)

1990-2005: ‪#‎JungliDin‬‬‬
2005-10: ‪#‎AccheDin‬‬‬
2010-15: ‪#‎KuchAccheDin‬‬‬
Voter: Aaj kuch toofaani karte hain,
#JungliDin ko waapis laate hai.

Bihar slapped.
The 5 fingers…
Lalu: Ex-CM.
Rabri: Ex-CM future RS MP.
Tejashwi: Dy CM.
Tej Pratap: Minister.
Misa: Future RS MP.

While we will have 20 new ‪#‎SmartCities‬; Patna, Kolkata and Bengaluru are in danger of becoming ‪#‎DumbCities‬ due to pathetic governance.‬‬‬‬

Nitish gets stuck in the lift in January 2016 and says, “Sorry, I lost power today.”
Bihar: But didn’t you lose power on November 8, 2015?

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

The bad CM now wants to be a worse PM…

2019 election pitch…
I have proved to be a worse CM than Sheila.
Now please give me a chance to be a worse PM than Modi.
—Sri Sri Kejri Baba.

Kejri aspires to be better than Modi.
However the truth is that so far he is not even 1% of Sheila Dikshit!

_____* problem.
It’s Modi’s fault, not mine.
—Kejri.
* = Pollution. Salary. Power. Garbage. Money. Corruption. Cough. Headache. Whatever…

Top 3 IIT alumni politicians…
1. Manohar Parrikar.
2. Jairam Ramesh.
3. Krishan Kant.
Rising star—Jayant Sinha.
Worst…
Sri Sri Kejri Baba.

2015: Here’s my 2020 vision for Delhi.
2020: Here’s my 2025 vision for Delhi.
Voter: Just give me back my Delhi of 2013!

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Eerie similarities between reactions to Modi and Trump…

narendra-modi-2112081_640Prime Minister Narendra Modi was seen as a Far Right anti-Muslim leader from a Right party who would never ever gain mass acceptance from the flourishing democracy he was living in. He was virulently attacked by the Leftist establishment of his country.

The Liberals attacked him. The intellectuals attacked him. But in particularly the mainstream media ran a campaign against him and he was forced to boycott channels like NDTV. He was pro-business and a good administrator, but they refused to focus on that.

First he was seen as a total no-hoper but when he started gaining traction alarm bells started ringing and we were told that democracy would be under threat if he ever took charge of the nation.

Liberals like writer UR Ananthamurthy said that he would leave the country if Modi was elected to lead the nation. There was a move in America to ban his entry. However the Modi Haters paradoxically started giving him publicity, sympathy and he surged ahead.

Now we can write exactly the same thing about Trump by just changing a few names…

donald-trump-1708433_640Billionaire Donald Trump was seen as a Far Right anti-Muslim leader from a Right party who would never ever gain mass acceptance from the flourishing democracy he was living in. He was virulently attacked by the Leftist establishment of his country.

The Liberals attacked him. The intellectuals attacked him. But in particularly the mainstream media ran a campaign against him and he was forced to boycott channels like Fox News. He was pro-business and a good administrator, but they refused to focus on that.

First he was seen as a total no-hoper but when he started gaining traction alarm bells started ringing and we were told that democracy would be under threat if he ever took charge of the nation.

Liberals like actress Whoopi Goldberg said that she would leave the country if Trump was elected to lead the nation. There was a move in England to ban his entry. However the Trump Haters paradoxically started giving him publicity, sympathy and he surged ahead.

The story is same so far. So will Trump follow the Modi path and actually win the elections?
Watch this space!

Also read…

Modi to Trump—Spectacular rise of the global Right

Why Trump Haters Could Well End Up Making Him President

8 things you should know about India’s Left

This is Pappu. Be like Pappu!

This is Pappu.
Pappu takes long vacation whenever he wants.
Pappu bunks work.
Pappu idles around in the work place.
Pappu keeps losing in cool in public.
Pappu generally enjoys life and doesn’t give a damn to anyone.
Be like Pappu.

This is Kejri.
Kejri sleeps on the road at midnight.
Kejri does dharna.
Kejri does nautanki.
Kejri does u-turns.
Kejri does no work and blames everything on others.
Kejri uses Twitter for trolling.
Like Pappu, Kejri generally enjoys life and doesn’t give a damn to anyone.
Be like Kejri.

This is Sonia.
Sonia strikes fear in the hearts of #AdarshLiberals.
Sonia strikes fear in the hearts of senior editors.
Sonia strikes fear in the hearts of most politicians.
Sonia strikes fear in the hearts of intellectuals.
Sonia strikes fear in the hearts of writers.
Sonia strikes fear in the hearts of most prominent Indians.
Be feared like Sonia.

This is Mamata.
Mamata doesn’t believe rapes are happening.
Mamata doesn’t believe in Malda.
Mamata doesn’t think the porous border is a threat.
Mamata doesn’t think there is any violence happening in her State.
Mamata thinks she is giving brilliant governance.
Be blissfully unaware like Mamata!

This is Lalu.
Lalu allows murder.
Lalu allows kidnapping.
Lalu allows theft.
Lalu allows Jungle Raj.
Lalu allows just about anything.
Be tolerant like Lalu.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Poor Modi keeps slogging and they keep brazenly attacking…

Nehru destroyed.
Shastri rebuilt.
Indira-Rajiv destroyed.
Narasimha Rao-Vajpayee rebuilt.
Sonia destroyed.
Modi rebuilding.
Pappu waiting.

Lie about Modi.
Attack.
Attack.
Attack.
Attack.
Attack.
Attack.
Attack.
Attack.
……….
When lie totally exposed, ignore and coolly move to next lie!

Modi Haters…
Modi is India. India is Modi.
Means we have to destroy India to destroy Modi.

By 2019 they would have returned all their awards and degrees, milked all their intolerance/under attack narratives dry.
If Modi wins 2019 too, they’ll go totally mad.

I think Modi Haters actually secretly love Modi.
They look to win in the short run, but it totally benefits Modi in the long run.

Even if he gave a brilliant response to ‪#‎Dadri‬ ‪#‎Hyderabad‬, ‪#‎AdarshLiberals‬ would ignore and immediately link him to 10 more such incidents.
Modi’s silence is understandable.

Power reforms—Maaro goli!
Railway upgrade—Maaro goli!
Infrastructure overdrive—Maaro goli!
Foreign policy success—Maaro goli!
Isolated incident—Great! Use it to flay Modi!

Viciously attacked him—Won 2002.
Viciously attacked him—Won 2007.
Viciously attacked him—Won 2014.
Current vicious attack laying ground for 2019.

If Modi gets 99/100, the lost mark will de debated 24X7.
If Kejri/Pappu get 1/100, the gained mark will be celebrated 24X7.
Kuch nahin ho sakta.

Politicians focus on caste and religion.
Media: What about Bijli-Sadak-Pani?
Modi focuses on Bijli-Sadak-Rail-Toilets.
Media: What about caste and religion?

Modi is on track in his agenda to transform India.
Modi Haters are on track in their agenda to malign India.

When Pappu takes vacation, ignore as much as possible.
When Kejri goes for naturopathy, celebrate it.
When Modi goes abroad for work, ridicule it.

Irony alert…
The biggest destroyer of students through dirty politics is SFI.
Most crying over ‪#‎RohithVemula‬ death staunch supporters of SFI.

Lok Sabha elections.
If only ‪#‎AdarshLiberals‬ voted, Congress would get 500 seats.
If only senior editors voted, Kejri would get 500 seats.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Correcting India’s history…

1947 Dream Team…
Prime Minister: Netaji.
Home: Patel.
Finance: Rajaji.
Industry/Commerce: Ambedkar.
Ambassador to USSR: Nehru.

If Netaji won us Independence and Patel unified India…
Gandhi-Nehru legacy is incorrect.
It’s the Netaji-Patel legacy.

Would be PMs who died mysteriously…
Netaji.
Mookerjee.
Upadhyaya.
In crashes…
Pilot.
Scindia.
Suspicious PM death…
Shastri.
More would be PMs who went early…
Feroze.
Sanjay.
Pramod.
Assassinated PMs…
Indira.
Rajiv.
‪#‎IncredibleIndianPolitics‬

Netaji was Congress.
Patel was Congress.
Ambedkar was Congress.
Rajaji was Congress.
All disowned just for Nehru.

Modi finally launches scheme named after Nehru.
Nehru Ka Naam Mitaao Yojana.
‪#‎NetajiSubhasChandraBose‬

Congress problems…
UPA2: CWG, 2G and Jijaji.
2015: National Herald claims SoniaG and RahulG.
2016: Netaji.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Nautanki pe nautanki, nautanki pe nautanki, nautanki pe nautanki…

Tareekh pe tareekh, tareekh pe tareekh, tareekh pe tareekh milti gayi My Lord, par insaaf nahi mila.
—Sunny Deol.

Nautanki pe nautanki, nautanki pe nautanki, nautanki pe nautanki milti gayi My God, par governance nahi mila.
—Disillusioned Kejri supporter.

Joke pe joke, joke pe joke, joke pe joke milta gayi My God, par ek bhi serious statement nahi mila.
— Disillusioned Pappu supporter.

Jungle Raj pe Jungle Raj, Jungle Raj pe Jungle Raj, Jungle Raj pe Jungle Raj milta gaya Mera Nitishwa, par tune Lalu ka saath nahin chhoda.
—JDU voter.

Hinsa pe hinsa, hinsa pe hinsa, hinsa pe hinsa milta gaya Mamata, par shanti bilkul nahi mila.
—The Bengali.

Power cuts pe power cuts, traffic jams pe traffic jams, garbage woes pe garbage woes, CM pe CM… bahut kuch mila par kuch aur nahin.
—Bengalurean.

Naveen pe Naveen, Naveen pe Naveen, Naveen pe Naveen milta gaya, aur koi alternative nahi mila.
—Odisha.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

A record peace between India and Pakistan!

1. Kashmir War: October 1947—January 1949.

2. Rann of Kutch Conflict: April—June 1965.

3. Indo-Pak War: August—September 1965.

4. Bangladesh War: 3–16 December 1971.

5. Siachen Conflict: April 1984 onwards.

6. Kargil War: May—July 26 1999.

No such war/conflict began between India and Pakistan for 16 years 4 months @ New Year 2016 after Kargil.

That’s a new peace record.

Previous record was 16 years 3 months between Kashmir War and Rann of Kutch Conflict.

© Sunil Rajguru

Imagine the media outrage if…

Modi started building statues of himself.

Modi launched a TV channel in his name.

Modi slapped a government official.

Modi Tweeted that another leader was a psychopath.

Modi started giving plum posts to his siblings and relatives.

Modi was chargesheeted and had to appear in court in a corruption case.

Modi cut-outs in large dotted the city.

Modi chose Lalu as his alliance partner.

But then other politicians are doing exactly that and there’s hardly an outrage as compared to mostly fake allegations against him.

© Sunil Rajguru