I’ve got a thought…
…but will it make a good Facebook status message?

I’ve got an idea…
…but will it be accepted on Twitter?

I have a strong viewpoint on…
…why don’t you blog it and I’ll read it!

This photo is really great and natural…
…but have you photoshopped it yet?

I support this great cause…
…but how many likes has it got?

I’ve got a great resume…
…but can you sell it on Linkedin?

I’ve got a great business idea…
…but will it create a buzz online?

I’ve got a great friend…
…but I’ve not seen him on Facebook!

I usually don’t know where I am…
…why? Don’t you use FourSquare?

Where am I going?
Just check your GPS!

I am dying…
…even that will get a few hundred likes on Facebook!

© Sunil Rajguru

The A to Z of Sreesanth
16 May, 2013, Sify.com

The A to Z of Congress confrontations
3 December, 2012, Sify.com

The A to Z of Amitabh Bachchan
05 October, 2012, Sify.com

The A to Z of Anna Hazare
25 March, 2012, Sify.com

The A to Z of tainted politicians
19 December, 2011, Sify.com

The A to Z of Violent Protests in India
November 29, 2011

The A to Z of Controversial Cricketers
November 4, 2011

The A to Z of Indian Sporting Controversies
July 31, 2011

The A to Z of Scam India
July 6, 2011

The A to Z of International Terrorism
May 20, 2011

The A to Z of the Anti-corruption Lokpal Bill Drama
June 16, 2011

The A to Z of the 2G Telecom Scam
January 3, 2011

The A to Z of IPL Controversies
April 23, 2010

One beautiful old book surpasses a trillion online bytes.

One real world trumps a billion virtual worlds.

One genuine disciple beats a million Followers.

One Rupee spent wisely offline beats 100,000 virtual bucks.

One real, small and humble farm beats 10,000 on Farmville.

One true friend beats a 1000 on Facebook.

One warm offline appreciation beats a 100 likes.

One game played in Mother Earth’s lap beats 10 virtual games played simultaneously.

One real life lived genuinely beats a false virtual life full of lies and make-believe.

© Sunil Rajguru

Original…
I love you, you love me,
We’re a happy family,
With a great big hug and a kiss from me to you,
Won’t you say you love me too?

For Twitter…
I Follow you,
You Follow me,
We’re all Followers like Followers should be,
With a great big ReTweet,
And a mention from me to you,
Won’t you say you’ll ReTweet me too?

For Facebook…
I Like you,
You Like me,
We’re all friends like friends should be,
With a great big Comment,
And a Poke from me to you,
Won’t you say you Like me too?

For Congress-BJP bhai bhai in scams…
I help you,
You help me,
We’re all scamsters like scamsters should be,
With a great big deal cut,
And a share from me to you,
Won’t you say you’ll defend me too?

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

You know what, I was thinking…
I don’t care!

The breakfast I had was…
F*** off!

Wanna see my photo album?
I don’t have time for such things!

Will you play a game with me?
Are you nuts?

Will you take my quiz?
You’re so idle!

Let’s support a cause…
Too busy!

Farming would be a nice part-time hobby.
Keep dreaming!

…and then God created Facebook and Twitter!

This version by Sunil Rajguru

· UPA model governance…
Problem: 5 lakh displaced in Assam. Violence in Mumbai & Lucknow. Scare in Bangalore.
Solution: Ban 6 fake PMO Twitter accounts and impose 5 SMS limit.

· MMS’s biggest achievement of the year has been to ban 6 fake PMO Twitter accounts.
Now he can get back to doing nothing.

· Congress ka Opposition BJP.
BJP ka Opposition English news channels.
English news channels ka Opposition Twitter-Facebook.
Twitter-Facebook ka Opposition Congress.

· You can Fake it in the bedroom, but you can’t Fake it on Twitter.
—(Fake) PMO directive.

· I’m jealous of the fake PMO Twitter accounts! I wish I could be so outspoken and popular! Off with them!—Fake Manmohan Singh quote.

· Contradiction alert: Our PM is a fake.
How can you have a fake Twitter account of a fake PM?

· Twitter: We are real Tweeple with feelings!
UPA: And we are just plain Twits.
Facebook: We have a real genuine face too!
UPA: And we are just plain two-faced.

· PMO Fake Twitter accounts are Really good fun.
PMO Real Twitter account’s Faking interest in the country.

·UPA logic…
There are 6 million counterfeit CDs: Leave them!
There are 6000 fake NGOs: Leave them!
There are 6 fake PMO Twitter Accounts: Arrest them immediately!

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Show a man your status message and amuse him for a minute.
Teach him how to update his own status message and screw him for life.

There are two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a status message. The other is as though everything is a status message.

Friends, followers and connections, lend me your likes.

I came, I surfed, I liked.

Speech is silver, silence means you’re nothing but a lurker.

Watch your thoughts; they become words.
Watch your words; they become status messages.

Brevity is the soul of wit and long status messages point to the soul of a twit.

Don’t walk behind me; I may not lead. Don’t walk in front of me; I may not follow. Just like my status messages and be my friend.

A friend is someone who knows all about you and still likes your status messages.

Life is what happens to you while you’re busy writing stupid status messages.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru