Dhoni’s last Test series as captain…

MS Dhoni’s book about his Test career will be…
Tired and Retired.

Knock Knock.
Who’s there?
Dhoni.
Dhoni who?
Don’ you think it was all rather abrupt?

MS Dhoni’s theme song is…
Saari duniya ka bojh ham uthaate hai…

Test cricket is truly dead when the Indian captain with most Test wins retires voluntarily at the age of 33.

The 2014-15 Border-Gavaskar Series may well be known as the Dhoni-Clarke Retirement Series.
(Also, both have whitewashed each other)

Now suddenly MS Dhoni will become the freshest player in both ODIs and IPL.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Why Dhoni may have quit Tests…

Captaincy bhi main karu.

Wicket-keeping bhi main karu.

Batting main bhi mujhe 4 down karna pade.

Sidelined coach ka void bhi main bharu.

Batting collapses aur spineless bowling ko main jhelu.

Test losses ka gaaliyon ka bauchaar bhi main jhelu.

Aur ye sab ODI/IPL/T20s/media scrutiny ke bojh ke saath!

Bahut hua (Test) sammaan!

I quit!

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

 

Idea of the year: A man called Modi

bulb-40701_640More than the man, an idea won in 2014.

From 2002-12, Narendra Modi was presented as a very bad idea by the powerful and influential.

A communal idea. A Fascist idea. A dictatorial idea. The very opposite of the idea of India as represented by our founding father Jawaharlal Nehru.

The idea that immediately came to mind in 2002 when one thought of Modi was hordes of alpha males in khaki shorts and lathis running all over India. The idea of Modi haters was of riots upon riots. Their idea of him was Godhra, something that represents the sum of all evil in India.

When Godhra faded into the background, he was presented as an idea of a twisted and one-sided form of capitalism running loose and making the rich richer and the poor poorer.

This is the idea of Modi that a small powerful group had been selling to India. It is ironic that this is exactly the same idea (if you just leave out the khaki shorts) under which the Congress could be marketed to its critics, but that’s another story altogether.

However that was only one side of the story. There was another counter to it, but that was muffled in the outrage over Godhra.

hope-2046018_640The very first idea that Modi represented to Gujarat was hope: As simple as that. Gujarat was wrecked after a horrific earthquake where 20,000 people were killed and 400,000 homes were destroyed.

That Modi rebuilt the State from scratch is a story that has been totally boycotted by the media. But thanks to Modi, the Gujaratis had their own audacity of hope. As the years went by, Gujaratis equated Modi with the ideas of development and good governance.

power-poles-503935_640Who wouldn’t want the idea of good roads and uninterrupted power?

One by one the people of India started getting their own ideas of India from the Gujaratis.

The industry looked to an idea of (as Modi later put it directly into his election campaign) minimum government and maximum governance.

By 2012 it was clear that Modi was a serious challenger for the PM’s post. When he gave his LSR College speech at the beginning of 2013, the youth of India started looking to the idea of politics without caste, religion and populism: The idea of the birth of new politics and the death of old politics.

AAP chief Arvind Kejriwal briefly captured this idea and captured the imagination of the nation but he fell way short with his deeds and dramas.

When Modi started connecting with the people of India, then a multitude of ideas emerged.

The idea of a simple chaiwallah rising up to lead a nation of one billion…

The idea of a closed political system opening up to the masses…

The idea of a man making it big by merit and not by birth…

The idea of the country adopting a development model and not a caste model…

The idea of not relying on fate but taking one’s own destiny into one’s own hands…

The idea of India being a superpower and standing up to the world…

The good ideas burst out of Modi’s head and into Gujarat. Then they burst out of Gujarat and into the rest of India.

The positive ideas soon mushroomed and drowned out the bad ideas and Modi captured the imagination of the nation.

That’s why the Modi haters started fighting a losing battle. They tried to counter those ideas with arguments, facts and loud voices. That will never work.

A good idea can only be countered by a better idea.

The problem of the entire Opposition was that they offered much worse ideas than what Modi was offering.

Rahul Gandhi represented the idea of privilege, the idea of destiny by birth, the idea of the arrogance of refusing to take up any post prior to the PM’s chair.

Kejriwal ultimately represented the idea of anarchy. The idea of anger while in government never works.

Mayawati represented the idea of caste politics.

Manmohan Singh ultimately represented no idea at all.

Sonia Gandhi represented the idea of a government that would feed the poor and not the poor coming out poverty.

Whether you like it or not, Modi was the only leader in the 2014 general elections offering good ideas.

But the best idea of all was the idea of hope. You simply cannot counter that by trying to instil fear!

victor-hugo-489784_640As Victor Hugo once said…

No army can stop an idea whose time has come.

That has been the real theme of 2014.

The Idea of Nehru has been replaced by the Idea of Modi.

© Sunil Rajguru

How to spin Modi’s electoral triumphs…

News: BJP single largest party in Delhi Assembly.
Spin: Kejriwal beats Modi in Delhi! Can be PM!

News: BJP storms Rajasthan and Madhya Pradesh.
Spin: That’s actually Vasundhara and Shivraj!

News: First non-Congress single party to get absolute majority in Lok Sabha.
Spin: 31%.

News: First non-Congress to get 100+ seats in Maharashtra Assembly.
Spin: Missed the majority! Modi wave gone. Brahmin CM!

News: First BJP government in Haryana.
Spin: First non-Jat Chief Minister!

News: BJP increases tally in J&K from 11 to 25.
Spin: Missed the majority! Modi wave gone.

News: BJP first-ever party to get majority in Jharkhand.
Spin: Missed the majority in J&K! Modi wave gone.

© Sunil Rajguru

J&K-Jharkhand poll musings…

Jharkhand-Jammu jhaaki hai,
Bihar-Bengal baaki hai,

The process of Ghar Wapsi of all Congress governments started in 2013.
‪#‎Rajasthan‬ ‪#‎NewDelhi‬ ‪#‎India‬ ‪#‎AndhraPradesh‬ ‪#‎Maharashtra‬ ‪#‎Haryana‬

Panellist: The party has not performed as per the exit poll.
—Duh! It’s your exit poll that has not performed!

One thing is clear that from now on for all State elections …
Tough fight between BJP versus Regional Party.
Congress heading for extinction.

Narendra Modi is building an electoral Development Highway throughout India.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Columns on Pakistan

The disintegration of Pakistan has finally begun…
October 1, 2015, Sify.com

Seven reasons to be wary of Somnath Bharti
September 28, 2015, Sify.com

10 reasons why we shouldn’t have talks with Pakistan…
August 24, 2015, Sify.com

7 ways the Army has destroyed Pakistan…
December 22, 2014, Sify.com

Bad Taliban. Worse Taliban. Worst Taliban
December 21, 2014, Sify.com

Pakistan is back to its tricks yet again
December 19, 2014, Sify.com

A to Z of Pakistani terror
December 19, 2014, Sify.com

Stop playing good terrorist bad terrorist!
December 18, 2014, Sify.com

Pakistan’s destructive self-fulfilling prophesy
October 10, 2014, Sify.com

The Ten Wars of Pakistan on India
October 9, 2014, Sify.com

5 reasons why Pak’s Kashmir claim is impossible
27 September, 2013, Sify.com

Who is Pakistan’s biggest victim?
24 May, 2013, Sify.com

Pak leadership change always bad news
14 May, 2013, Sify.com

Indo-Pak ties: We smile, they attack
09 January, 2013, Sify.com

Can’t we solve the Kashmir problem by 2017?
11 April 2012, Sify.com

Coup in Pak could mean a war with India again
13 January 2012, Sify.com

It’s still bouquets for Pak & brickbats for India
12 November, 2010, Sify.com

Wanted: A Berlin Wall for India and Pakistan
July 23, 2010

#2014in5words

For the 2014 Lok Sabha polls…
& for the BJP…
& for TV news channels…
& for Indian politics in general…
Modi Modi Modi Modi Modi.

For Congress…
Sonia is really really unhappy.

For India…
Acche Din Aane Waale Hai.

For Pappu…
Dude, who moved my votebank?

For Subrata Roy…
Rupees Ten Thousand Crore only.

For badminton India…
Srikanth and Sania in China.

For Robert Vadra…
Are you serious or nuts?

For Modi haters before May 16…
There is no Modi wave.

For Modi haters after May 16…
Idea of India is dead.

For terror…
ISIL ISIS IS TTP Peshawar.

For Manmohan Singh…
… … … … …

For Mamata Banerjee…
Saradha Burdwan Maoist Hitler Didi.

For Indian cricket fans…
No foreign Tests only ODIs.

For Jayalalitha…
You are hereby pronounced guilty.

For BCCI…
Is Srinivasan coming or going?

For Kejriwal…
Hame ek aur mauka deejiye.

For ISRO…
Mangalyaan NISAR GSAT CE-7.5 IRNSS.

In the hockey Champions Trophy semi-final…
@#$    %^&    #^%    *(&   %@*

In IPL…
I am just an enthusiast.

For Viswanathan Anand…
Kasparov, Karpov and now Carlsen.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Brisbane Test Day 4 musings…

Ref: Second India-Australia Test at Brisbane.

For Steve Waugh, India was the final frontier.
For India, every country is the final frontier.

No matter what day of the Test, when India begins its second innings, it is always just one session away from defeat.

Bharat ko videshi Test jeetna mushkil hi nahin, naamumkin hai…

If Winnie the Pooh led the Australian Test team, they’d still thrash us 4-0.

What Shikhar Dhawan may have wanted to say after his 81 at Brisbane…
I was inspired by the great Australia batsmen during their batting in the first innings.
I kept counting the milestones one by one.
First I went past Lyon (23) then Hazlewood (32) and finally Starc (52).
My only regret is that I couldn’t go past the great Mitchell Johnson’s 88.
All these great batsmen can give a few tips to our top order batsmen.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Brisbane Test Day 3 musings…

Ref: Second India-Australia Test at Brisbane.

Overseas Tests…
Play pathetically: Lose.
Play badly: Lose.
Play well: Lose.
Play really well: Lose.
Play awesomely: Draw.
Once in four years: Win.

The Indian attack is great at getting batsmen out.
It just can’t dismiss the bowlers.

After Kapil Dev, India has produced 25 fast bowlers faster than him, but not even one who remotely matches his fighting spirit.

Lightning strikes once.
Rare if it strikes twice.
If it strikes 10 times, then you’re the Indian bowling attack hit by the tail.

True Test parity…
At home we watch Indian batsmen doing The Great Escape.
Overseas, we watch the opposition batsmen doing The Great Escape.

India should stop importing foreign coaches and start importing foreign bowlers.
That’s the only way to save foreign Tests.

On foreign Test pitches, some tails last more sessions than Indian batsmen last balls.

If the Indian bowling attack took 19 wickets in 3 days on a foreign Test pitch, then you can be sure that the 20th would elude them for the next two days.

We won one foreign Test in 2011.
After that in 2014.
So the next is coming in 2017.

This is MS Dhoni’s 59th match as Test captain and Steven Smith’s first.
Frankly, it looks like the other way round.

On foreign Test pitches, the opposition’s last pair is better than India’s opening pair.

Overseas Test rules…
If India is 300-5, they can be 325 all down.
If the opposition is 300-5, they can go to 600.

In an overseas Test if India scores 450 and the opposition is 200-5, the Indian fan asks…
Can we somehow have a miracle and draw this match?

India’s DRS = Decisions Really Suck.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

The conundrum that is Pakistan…

Pakistan hates America, but loves to take huge military and financial aid from it.

Pakistan hates terrorists, but loves to give them all forms of support.

Pakistan loves the Army, but hates to accept the fact that it has ruined democracy in Pakistan.

Pakistan loves fundamentalists, but hates to acknowledge the destruction they have unleashed.

Pakistan hates India, but loves blaming it for all its ills.

Pakistan loves Kashmir, so much so that it seems to hate all its other provinces.

© Sunil Rajguru

Adelaide Test musings…

Ref: First India-Australia Test at Adelaide.

Aus series he kya?
Nahi, Aasu series hai.
‪#‎IndVsAus‬

Kohli, Viru ya ho Dhoni,
Fast bowling, spin ya kuch bhi anhoni,
Foreign pitches pe bas wohi hi honi.
‪#‎IndVsAus‬

2011: Can’t play fast bowlers on foreign pitches.
‪#‎Eng‬ ‪#‎Aus‬
2012: Can’t play spinners on home pitches.
#Eng
2014: Can’t play spinners on foreign pitches.
#Eng #Aus

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

My Virat Kohli Columns

cricket-players-2027502_640Kohli attacks, Ishant roars and India wins!
September 1, 2015, Sify.com

Kohli’s aggro mojo backfires
August 16, 2015, Sify.com

The Dhoni-Kohli show finally ends
March 26, 2015, Sify.com

Kohli: King of adversity
December 13, 2014, Sify.com

Why Kohli may one day be the greatest ever
April 7, 2014, Sify.com

World is not enough for Kohli
03 November, 2013, Sify.com

Cricketer of the year: Virat Kohli
24 December, 2012, Sify.com

King Kohli now rules all 3 realms
05 October, 2012, Sify.com

India’s new Fab 4 have to get in fast
29 August, 2012, Sify.com

King Kohli strikes yet again!
19 March, 2012, Sify.com

Virat is the right choice
02 March, 2012, Sify.com

Virat Kohli: The new King of the victory chase
28 February, 2012, Sify.com