Hum sab bhrastachari hai…

Enough of anti-corruption talk. Even the corrupt need their private space…

Please sing to the tune of Hum sab Bharatiya hai and due respects and apologies to all NCC cadets as I have been one for many years in the past…

Hum sab bhrastachari hai,
Hum sab bhrastachari hai.

Apni manzil ek hai,
Ha ha ha ek hai,
Ho ho ho ek hai,
Hum sab bhrastachari hai.

2G ki spectrum rani hai,
Sartaj CWG hai,
Sadiyon se humne scams ko apne chhal se pala hai,
Desh ko lootne ki khatir hum har khatra utha lenge,
Hum har khatra utha lenge.

Bikhre bikhre scams hain,
Hum lekin jhilmil ek hai,
Ha ha ha ek hai,
Ho ho ho ek hai,
Hum sab bhrastachari hai.

Bade chhote neta bhi hain yahan,
Aur bureaucrats bhi hain yahan,
Black money ka paper trail hai kahin,
Aur hame pakadna nahin aasan!

Ek hi apna bhagwan hain, aur uska naam paisa hai,
Ek hi apna bhagwan hai, aur uske ke kai roop dekhe hain humne,
Lekin jagmag ek hai,
Ha ha ha ek hai,
Ho ho ho ek hai.

Hum sab bhrastachari hai,
Hum sab bhrastachari hai.

This Spoof by Sunil Rajguru

Main bhi Anna, tu bhi Anna…

Uncle: Beta, tum bade hokar Gandhi banoge ya Nehru?
Beta: Par main to already Anna ban chuka hu!

According to the World Population Census, the fastest growing country in the world in the month of August was Nation Anna.

The April agitation was a first step towards the August agitation, which is the first step towards drafting a strong Lokpal Bill, which will be the first step in the long and tough battle against corruption… (First step or Last hope?)

© Sunil Rajguru

Anna Hazare “victory” musings…

Newton’s Third Law…
Every action has an equal and opposite reaction.
Lokpal’s First Law…
Every Civil Society action has an equal and opposite Uncivil Government action.

If anything, Anna Hazare and Manmohan Singh must have become good penfriends by now.

What’s On? (August second half schedule)
AnnaTV, TVAnna, Anna Today, Anna Now, The Times of Anna, The Anna Times, The Anna Express, Anna News, Deccan Anna, The Anna, Live Anna…

Old saying…
There’s many a slip between the cup and the lip.
New saying…
There’s many a slip between the Lokpal Bill and Act.

Report card….
Quarter-finals: Lost, promoted on a technicality.
Semi-finals: Just won.
Finals: State of the Final Lokpal draft, result expected in 2012.
Now if India by any chance manages to win the finals, then that’s just a small first step in the battle against corruption…

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Some Anna Hazarical definitions…

Annagiri: While largely seen as a peaceful and potent war on corruption by most, the Congress Dictionary defines it as a vile unconstitutional, undemocratic and heinous crime. The only reason no action can be taken is that the party does not have enough seats in Parliament to impose an Emergency.

Phenomannan: The inexplicable catharsis of a nation and outpouring of anti-corruption sentiments on a scale unheard of before.

Sibalism: A political system dealing with how to defeat your opponent with press conferences, lies, rhetoric, logic, bluster and brute force topped with loads of anger. Basically a defeatist concept.

Tiwarism: A more potent form Sibalism.

The Manmohanomical Theory: Basically states that Harry Potter is a fictional character. A magic wand is a fictional object. Therefore corruption cannot be eradicated in one’s lifetime. (Come to think of it, even Harry Potter didn’t have a powerful anti-corruption spell, or was it Avada KorruptaNada?)

The Opposition: Basically like Harry Potter was a fictional character in 2011 till Anna Hazare stepped in to fill the vacuum.

Soniagiri: Absence makes the heart go fonder for the common Congress voter.

Rahulgiri: A milder version of Soniagiri.

Hazarian Simplicity: A more stronger form of Gandhian simplicity. For the Mahatama had a family and Anna doesn’t. The Mahatma had a sprawling ashram and Anna sleeps in a temple.

Attack of the Clones: Thousands of agitators wearing “Main bhi Anna” topis, enough to give any evil empire sleepless nights.

War on Corruption: Launched in India in 2011. Has been likened to George Bush’s War on Terrorism: If you are not with us, then you are against us.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Musings from Oval…

Right now there is a bargain sale going on in international cricket…
Ten Indian wickets are available for the price of one English wicket.

Series report…
England thrashes Rahul Dravid 4-0. The rest of the team for some mysterious reason just failed to show up.

The English cricketers now love Indian food.
They’ve been having the Indians for lunch and tea for quite some time now.

What’s the opposite of: As fit as a fiddle?
As unfit as an Indian cricketer.

The BCCI’s solution will be probably to have many many more international matches per year.
That way the number of matches won annually may remember the same.

Maybe God was too busy watching Anna Hazare and just forgot about the Indian cricket team…

(Reference: India-England cricket Test match at Oval from August 18-22)

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Today’s Anna Hazare musings…

Jab Hazare jail ke andar jaate hain to hazaro jail ke bahar hote hain, lakhon sadako par utar aate hai aur crore-o ke ummeede jaag jaate hai…

Is it Shivaji? Is it Gandhiji? Is it JP?
No! It’s AnnaMan!

Yesterday: Aakhir tum bhi insaan ho aur hum bhi insaan hai.
Today: Aakhir tum bhi Anna ho aur hum bhi Anna hai.

Will Shankar come out with a new revised but peaceful anti-corruption film called Annayian? Hordes of people wearing “Main bhi Anna” caps can have shades of the Robot army…

Sometimes when I watch TV it looks like Anna Skywalker is single-handedly taking on the Evil Empire. Or is he more like Yoda? (“No! Try not. Do. Or do not. There is no try.”)

Advani has already added to the “Main bhi Anna” campaign with his own “Main bhi Pradhan Mantri (ban sakta hu)” campaign.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru