Oval massacre musings…

(Ref: Fifth India-England Test.)

In 2011, the English coach showed his cricket team Lagaan.
He is still getting his ROI over that masterstroke to this very day.

2011: 0-4.
Ab tumhe teeguna lagaan dena padega.
2012: 1-2.
Ab tumhe paanch guna lagaan dena padega.
2014: 1-3.
Ab… abbe tumne hame bankrupt kar diya teen-teen din main match khatam kar ke. Kam ticket sales aur ads se barbaad ho gaye hum! Ab dus guna lagaan dene ka bhi koi faayada nahin hai!

The next angry birds game will feature Indian batsmen as the targets and become popular among cricket fans.

Critic: What kind of a game is Test cricket? You don’t get a result in 5 days?
Indian fan: Oh, we are masters. We can get a result in 3 days flat.

The Indian batsmen’s favourite nursery rhyme is…
Ring a Ring o’ Roses.
They especially love the part…
Atishoo, atishoo, we all fall down!

Team India seniors get Rs 5 lakh per Test, or Rs 1 lakh a day.
By losing in 3 days, they’re getting Rs 1.67 lakh a day.
Boora khelo, jyaada paisa kamao!!!

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Total time pass of a vella Indian cricket fan…

How the Indian cricket team celebrated Independence Day…

The 11 batsmen scored the following amount of runs…
18-0-4-6-0-82-5-13-5-1-7.

If you rearrange the above numbers, then you get…
15-08-2014. 68. 1,3,5,7…..

15-08-2014 stands for 15th August 2014, the Independence Day on which they scored these runs.

68 stands for India’s 68th Independence Day.

The progressive sequence 1,3,5,7… stands for the resolve on this day to keep doing better from now on.

Ref: Fifth India-England Test at the Kensington Oval.
#IndVsEng #Oval

© Sunil Rajguru

Day 1 musings from Oval Test…

(Ref: Fifth India-England Test.)

India’s last 3 Test innings, runs scored by…
All batsmen = 117.
All bowlers = 141.
Dhoni = 180.

Team India is the new brand ambassador for Rupa.
With so many rest days after early Test results they’ll say…
Ye aaraam ka maamla hai!

Indian Test batsmen looking at the red cricket ball and singing…
Ye laal rang kab mujhe chhodega…

Dhoni’s autobiography will be…
Last Man Standing.
First in ODIs, now in Tests too.

Tests then…
Aaj Sachin century maarega kya?
Now…
Aaj India century maarega kya?

August 15, 1947: Indians get Independence from the English.
August 15, 2014: Indian batsmen get quick Independence from English bowlers.

Finish the Tests in 3 days, destroy the ECB economy and relax for 2 days.
Smart strategy!

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Musings from Oval…

Right now there is a bargain sale going on in international cricket…
Ten Indian wickets are available for the price of one English wicket.

Series report…
England thrashes Rahul Dravid 4-0. The rest of the team for some mysterious reason just failed to show up.

The English cricketers now love Indian food.
They’ve been having the Indians for lunch and tea for quite some time now.

What’s the opposite of: As fit as a fiddle?
As unfit as an Indian cricketer.

The BCCI’s solution will be probably to have many many more international matches per year.
That way the number of matches won annually may remember the same.

Maybe God was too busy watching Anna Hazare and just forgot about the Indian cricket team…

(Reference: India-England cricket Test match at Oval from August 18-22)

These versions by Sunil Rajguru