Dhoni victory musings…

After retirement he can build the MS Dhoni Museum of Victory Stumps.

Dhoni must have seen Miandad’s last ball sixer at Sharjah 1986 as a small kid and vowed…
“I will avenge this a 100 times over!”

Overs 41-50 are called the Death Overs in ODIs.
Dhoni is the King of Death.

If the openers won’t get you, Kohli will.
If Kohli won’t get you, Rahane-Raina will.
Aur agar sab gaye tel lene, toh Dhoni hi akela kaafi hai.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Columns on MS Dhoni

Hero Dhoni becomes Villain No. 1 (like many before him!)
January 21, 2016, Sify.com

Stoic Dhoni: A true victim of intolerance
January 10, 2016, Sify.com

2015: Annus horribilis for Dhoni
December 16, 2015, Sify.com

Dhoni: Rest as captain to prolong batting career!
July 7, 2015, Sify.com

Dhoni still best bet against Aussies…
March 30, 2015, Sify.com

Dhoni and the great team bubble
March 27, 2015, Sify.com

Has Dhoni’s golden era ended?
March 27, 2015, Sify.com

The Dhoni-Kohli show finally ends
March 26, 2015, Sify.com

Seven Things That Set Dhoni Apart
January 4, 2015, Sify.com

Dhoni’s Test captaincy in numbers
January 1, 2015, Sify.com

Dhoni symbolizes this era perfectly
December 31, 2014, Sify.com

MS Dhoni – A man who didn’t play for landmarks
December 30, 2014, Sify.com

Is it the end of the Dhoni era?
November 19, 2014, Sify.com

Why the BCCI won’t sack Dhoni!
August 20, 2014, Sify.com

3 Test myths about MS Dhoni…
July 22, 2014, Sify.com

Dhoni: A strange case of Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde
01 February, 2014, Sify.com

7 reasons why Dhoni is a great leader
12 July, 2013, Sify.com

Is Dhoni our greatest player ever?
24 June, 2013, Sify.com

Dhoni: A strange but successful captain
18 June, 2013, Sify.com

Dhoni begins his second innings in style
19 March, 2012, Sify.com

Dhoni takes India out of the ICU
27 February, 2012, Sify.com

“Last minute” Dhoni strikes again!
20 May, 2012, Sify.com

The Mad Max Trinity
29 March, 2012, Sify.com

Is Dhoni the world’s greatest finisher?
27 October, 2011, Sify.com

10 change-makers: From Pataudi to Dhoni
26 September, 2011, Sify.com

The Revival Man of Indian cricket
16 September, 2011, Sify.com

Cometh the hour, cometh the man
14 May, 2011, Sify.com

The Myth of the Lucky Captain
Sify.com, 21 October, 2010

Dhoni’s last Test series as captain…

MS Dhoni’s book about his Test career will be…
Tired and Retired.

Knock Knock.
Who’s there?
Dhoni who?
Don’ you think it was all rather abrupt?

MS Dhoni’s theme song is…
Saari duniya ka bojh ham uthaate hai…

Test cricket is truly dead when the Indian captain with most Test wins retires voluntarily at the age of 33.

The 2014-15 Border-Gavaskar Series may well be known as the Dhoni-Clarke Retirement Series.
(Also, both have whitewashed each other)

Now suddenly MS Dhoni will become the freshest player in both ODIs and IPL.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Why Dhoni may have quit Tests…

Captaincy bhi main karu.

Wicket-keeping bhi main karu.

Batting main bhi mujhe 4 down karna pade.

Sidelined coach ka void bhi main bharu.

Batting collapses aur spineless bowling ko main jhelu.

Test losses ka gaaliyon ka bauchaar bhi main jhelu.

Aur ye sab ODI/IPL/T20s/media scrutiny ke bojh ke saath!

Bahut hua (Test) sammaan!

I quit!

These versions by Sunil Rajguru


Indispensable Dhoni musings…

BCCI: We hereby make you captain!
Dhoni: Does the captaincy come with a guarantee card?
BCCI: Yes, in your case, it is valid for your entire cricketing life.

BCCI logic…
Fatigued Dhoni = Indispensable.
Losing Dhoni = Indispensable.
Injured Dhoni = Indispensable.

Fact of the day…
About 24% of all Test matches ever won by India from 1932-2014 against the Top 8 teams were done under the captaincy of MS Dhoni.
Next best Azhar: Half of that (13).

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Oval massacre musings…

(Ref: Fifth India-England Test.)

In 2011, the English coach showed his cricket team Lagaan.
He is still getting his ROI over that masterstroke to this very day.

2011: 0-4.
Ab tumhe teeguna lagaan dena padega.
2012: 1-2.
Ab tumhe paanch guna lagaan dena padega.
2014: 1-3.
Ab… abbe tumne hame bankrupt kar diya teen-teen din main match khatam kar ke. Kam ticket sales aur ads se barbaad ho gaye hum! Ab dus guna lagaan dene ka bhi koi faayada nahin hai!

The next angry birds game will feature Indian batsmen as the targets and become popular among cricket fans.

Critic: What kind of a game is Test cricket? You don’t get a result in 5 days?
Indian fan: Oh, we are masters. We can get a result in 3 days flat.

The Indian batsmen’s favourite nursery rhyme is…
Ring a Ring o’ Roses.
They especially love the part…
Atishoo, atishoo, we all fall down!

Team India seniors get Rs 5 lakh per Test, or Rs 1 lakh a day.
By losing in 3 days, they’re getting Rs 1.67 lakh a day.
Boora khelo, jyaada paisa kamao!!!

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Total time pass of a vella Indian cricket fan…

How the Indian cricket team celebrated Independence Day…

The 11 batsmen scored the following amount of runs…

If you rearrange the above numbers, then you get…
15-08-2014. 68. 1,3,5,7…..

15-08-2014 stands for 15th August 2014, the Independence Day on which they scored these runs.

68 stands for India’s 68th Independence Day.

The progressive sequence 1,3,5,7… stands for the resolve on this day to keep doing better from now on.

Ref: Fifth India-England Test at the Kensington Oval.
#IndVsEng #Oval

© Sunil Rajguru

Day 1 musings from Oval Test…

(Ref: Fifth India-England Test.)

India’s last 3 Test innings, runs scored by…
All batsmen = 117.
All bowlers = 141.
Dhoni = 180.

Team India is the new brand ambassador for Rupa.
With so many rest days after early Test results they’ll say…
Ye aaraam ka maamla hai!

Indian Test batsmen looking at the red cricket ball and singing…
Ye laal rang kab mujhe chhodega…

Dhoni’s autobiography will be…
Last Man Standing.
First in ODIs, now in Tests too.

Tests then…
Aaj Sachin century maarega kya?
Aaj India century maarega kya?

August 15, 1947: Indians get Independence from the English.
August 15, 2014: Indian batsmen get quick Independence from English bowlers.

Finish the Tests in 3 days, destroy the ECB economy and relax for 2 days.
Smart strategy!

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Lord’s Test victory musings…

Charles Dickens on Ishant Sharma…
He was the best of bowlers, he was the worst of bowlers, he had a mind of wisdom, he had a mind of foolishness, his bowling was the epoch of belief, his bowling was the epoch of incredulity, he was the season of Light, he was the season of Darkness, he gave his fans the spring of hope, he gave his fans the winter of despair…
#IndVsEng #Lords

Captain MS Dhoni is in the Guinness Book of World Records for the largest collection of victory stumps in the world.

Rohit ka majaak udaaya: ODI 200 maara.
Jadeja ka majaak udaaya: Sir ban gaya.
Ishant ka majaak udaaya: 7-for@Lord’s.
Ab kiska majaak udaane waale ho?

A tale of three Sharmas…
Ishant on the field.
Rohit on the bench.
Anushka in the pavilion.

Strange Twitter…
Ishant took 7.
Bhuvi took 6.
Rahane hit a ton.
Vijay belted 95.
Sir Jadeja dazzled.
And Virat Kohli is trending!

Indian bowlers treat the innings like a video game…
Level 1—Top order—Easy to dismiss.
Level 2—Middle order—Average.
Level 3—Tail—Very difficult.

(Reference: India-England Second Test, 2014)

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Lords Test victory: Numerology for the sake of numerology…

7 is captain MS Dhoni’s lucky number.

Ishant Sharma took 7 wickets for the first time ever 7 years after he made his Test debut in 200”7”.

In both innings of India a match saving/winning partnership came after the 7th wicket fell.

The victory took place on the 7(7X1)th month of the 14(7X2)th year and on the date 21 (7X3) while India won after 28(7X4) years in Lords.

(Reference: India-England Second Test, 2014)

© Sunil Rajguru

More Mahi musings…

· There was this Mahi—a real bowlers’ pain,
Who made sure the last over didn’t go in vain,
Not once, but again
And again and again,
And again and again and again!

· One reason that I personally rate Dhoni higher than Sachin is because you can get tired of records but you can never get tired of victories.

· Yet another leadership change in Jharkhand!
The only consistent leader from Jharkhand since its inception has been Dhoni!

· Melting point of Ice Man Dhoni = 50.1° where ° = Overs (in a 50 over match).

© Sunil Rajguru

Windies triangular tournament win musings on Dhoni…

· Dhoni wins a tournament… yawn… stays till the end… yawn… finishes it off with a 6… yawn…

· Miandad’s last ball sixer shattered India.
India prayed and prayed for a counter.
And lo behold! There was Dhoni!

· Overheard…
Dhoni: Honey, I have just won the…
Sakshi: Bas, bas, bore mat kar… ghar main bahut kaam pada hai… waise bhi ab trophies ke liye koi jagah nahin bachi hai… achcha hua Zimbabwe tour miss kar raha hai…

· That mid-1980s feeling…
India world champions. Low 202 run target in final. Still last over finish. Top scorer 58(89). 1 attacking opener, 1 slow one. All-rounder champ Ravi in team. No Sachin factor. Captain Sixer.

· How to rest an overworked Dhoni…
1. Get Karthik to keep stumps.
2. Let Mahi come 9 down.
3. Phir bhi jeet pakki hai!

· Taking a break from this Rahul vs Modi debate, I’m rooting for Dhoni as Prime Minister.

· Won’t be surprised if Jayawardene and Sangakkara retire from India matches to concentrate on other teams.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru