When Modi stormed Madison Square in New York…

Manmohan gave a Thousand official speeches.
No-one remembers any of them.
Modi has already given a Thousand speeches.
No-one can remember which one is the very best.
P.S. Difficult to piece together 1000 coherent Pappu words.

1773: Boston Tea Party.
2009: Republican Tea Party.
2014: Modi Tea Party.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

When Jaya went to jail and gave us Panneerselvam…

cell-1875816_640Dear Mani Shankar Aiyar,
Aapka Mukhya Mantri bhi chaiwallah.
Aapka Pradhan Mantri bhi chaiwallah.
Koi baat nahin, aap zindagi bhar coffee peete raho.

Panneerselvam was a tea shop owner.
Chaiwallahs are taking over India.

The would-be-PM CMs…
Nitish. Kejriwal. Jaya. Mamata.
3/4 are not even CMs.
(Pappu not even anywhere near would-be-CM)

#‎SudhakarraoNaik‬ ‪#‎ManoharJoshi‬ ‪#‎NarayanRane‬ ‪#‎RabriDevi‬ ‪#‎ManmohanSingh‬ ‪#‎JayaReplacement‬
Generally remote controls are disasters in Indian politics.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

When Jayalalitha got convicted…

Three largest Opposition parties in Lok Sabha…
1. Congress. (Sonia in National Herald case)
2. AIADMK. (Jaya convicted in DA case)
3. TMC. (Mamata faces Saradha flak)

Yesterday: Neta ka jai ho.
Today: Neta ko jail ho.

In a slip of the tongue, Subramanian Swamy said Sonia instead of Jaya on a TV news channel.
Practicing in advance?

Amma Cement, Amma Rice, Amma Canteen…
Coming soon…
Amma Jail built with Amma Cement with Amma Canteen serving Amma Rice.

If Raja/Kanimozhi also gets convicted after Jaya, then BJP will launch a ‪#‎Mission118‬ campaign for the Tamil Nadu Assembly in 2016.

The blind devotion of the average Indian voter to follow their leader despite a clear criminal conviction is quite disgusting.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Bargaining for 2014 Maharashtra Assembly elections, Shiv Sena style…

BJP: Kya bhaav hai?

Shiv Sena: 151.

BJP: Thoda kam nahin ho sakta kya?

Sena: 151.

BJP: 130 consider karoge kya?

Sena: 151.

BJP: 140 nahin chalega kya?

Sena: 151.

BJP: Arre bhai, 140 ko chala lo!

Sena: 151.

BJP: 145?

Sena: 151.

BJP: Ek kaam kar lo, hum aapko saare 288 seats hi de dete hai!

© Sunil Rajguru

The BJP-Shiv Sena relationship status…

For 25 years: Happily married!

Some time back: Working on our relationship.

After that: It’s complicated.

Now: We haven’t the foggiest idea what our relationship status is!

Congress-NCP: We’ll have what they’re having.

MNS: Now in the relationship (or marriage) market.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

If Climate Change was indeed the biggest threat…

polar-bear-2199534_640Recently US President Barack Obama said that Climate Change was America’s biggest threat and one even greater than terrorism.

If he really believed that then he would announce the following…

We are conducting joint air strikes over the most polluting industries in the world.

We are sending CIA operatives to find out how the biggest corporates are the biggest polluters and are bending rules to pollute the environment.

We are sending thousands marines all over the world to protect areas like the Amazon forest.

We are conducting economic sanctions against all the countries which happen to be the biggest polluters in the world.

We will use our veto power in the United Nations to pass and not block resolutions which realize the gravity of Climate Change.

…we’d rather use all the above resources to blow the living daylights out of the poorest zones of the world so that they will breed more resentment that will necessitate a backlash that will lead to further strikes ad infinitum, thereby damning the environment of those particular zones ad infinitum.

Hello terrorism, goodbye environment.

© Sunil Rajguru