The fall and fall of Sri Sri Kejri Baba…

You can fool all the people some of the time (2011 August Kranti agitation), and some of the people all the time (Delhi 2013 and 2015 elections), but you cannot fool all the people all the time (2014 Lok Sabha elections, 2017 Punjab-Goa elections).
#Kejri

AAP’s internal survey has found that Kejri is already the Prime Minister of India and hence they can stop contesting elections henceforth.

Media created Kejri in 2011, launched him in 2013, boosted him in 2015.
Media created Akhilesh in 2012, boosted him till 2016.
Both busted in 2017.

Sees himself: Virtual Prime Minister.
Media/Modi Haters see him: Future Prime Minister.
Is: Glorified Delhi Mayor with Sisodia doing all his minuscule workload.

Some people live in Reality.
Others in Virtual Reality.
Kejri lives in Media Reality, the world of TV channels, advertisements and Twitter.

Delhi will be like London—Kejri.
Matlab kya?
Thames airlift karke laoge?
Big Ben-Buckingham Palace banaoge?
Shakespearean nautanki laoge?

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Musings on L’affaire #Gurmehar

What they tell you…
A martyr’s daughter’s freedom of speech.
What it is…
An AAP supporter playing intense politics.
Why else has the entire establishment backed her in such a manner?

Synonyms
#AwardWapsi
#Intolerance
#Kanhaiya
#Gurmehar

For an #AdarshLiberal, Bharat tere tukde honge is free speech, Pakistan tere tukde honge is hate speech and the genocidal Mao is a god.

Then…
Ae mere watan ke logon, zara yaad karo kurbani, jo shaheed…
Now…
Ae mere watan ke tukde tukde karenge, kurbani gayi tel lene, kaun shaheed?

The real issue is that India is steadily getting azadi from these nonsensical azadi demanding groups.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Modi will never be PM.
Brexit can’t happen.
Trump will never be President.
Peddlers of fake news calling their rivals fake news.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Total AAP leadership failure musings…

I don’t have authority to buy a pen, but I have authority to spend thousands of crores on ads, perks and privileges.
—Sri Sri Kejri Baba.

People thought Kejri was a character from the 2001 film Nayak.
They were right.
He’s Amrish Puri.

Sab pe apna raaj hai,
Darne ki kya baat hai,
Ye to bas shuruaat hai,
Abhi (2016) to party shuru hui hai,
Party chalegi till 2020…
—Kejri

The best way Modi can troll Kejriwal right now is by making Kiran Bedi Lieutenant-Governor of New Delhi.

The disaster is not that Sisodia is in Finland.
The disaster is that he’s totally useless whenever he’s in New Delhi.
#AAPHaiAbroad

Aam Aadmi political party nahin hai.
Free for all never-ending party with freebies for all its leaders.

Leader.
1. Responsibility. 2. Accountability.
Indian leader.
1. Responsibility. 2. No accountability.
Kejri & Co.
1. Responsibility/accountability dono gaye tel lene. 2. Only perks and privileges.

Kejri seeking votes in 2019…
LG didn’t let me work from 2015-19.
Make me PM and I promise you Prez of India won’t let me work from 2019-24.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

#AAPDrama musings…

Free W̶i̶F̶i̶ drama
20 c̶o̶l̶l̶e̶g̶e̶s̶ +1 office of profit cases
500 s̶c̶h̶o̶o̶l̶s̶ Cr ads
S̶w̶a̶r̶a̶j̶ AAPraj
New l̶e̶a̶d̶e̶r̶ dictator

Most State governments communicate with the Centre via post, email and phone.
The Delhi government does so via full page newspaper ads across India.

For the benefit of the people of Delhi, MLA should release a list of MLAs who don’t have any kind of cases against them, no matter how small the list.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Musings on Kejribhai…

Kejri started off by being an alternative to Modi.
He will end up being a genuine 100% replacement of Lalu.

Kejri—Modi trying to finish off AAP!
Modi—Maaf kar bhai! That’s one job you’re doing excellently.
Why should I interfere?
Ditto Pappu/Cong.

For every promise Kejriwal breaks, one of his MLAs goes to jail.
At this rate he will be left with zero MLAs by 2020.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Kejri Delhi dubaayega musings…

AAP should change name to BAAP.
So many AAP leaders/MLAs out on bail.
Bail Aam Aadmi Party.
They also think that they are everyone’s baap.
(Delhi will also need a bail-out with the way they are governing)

Piyush Goyal: Mere paas reforms hai, high productivity hai, rural electrification hai, solar augmentation hai, wind power hai. Tere paas kya hai?
Kejri: Mere paas danda hai!

Delhi ke bagal main UP ke bagal main Bihar ke bagal main WB.
Chaar Mukhya Mantri.
Chaar Modi Haters.
Chaar governance debacles.
Chaara Ghotala Guru.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

The Kejri nautanki continues unabated…

Priceless logic!
I will hire a corrupt official.
If that corruption is investigated, I will call the PM a psychopath and call his FM corrupt.

Accept unconditionally that Kejri is a dishonest power hungry man who used the anti-corruption plank to grab power and everything makes sense.

2012: Alternative to aam parties.
2013: Alternative to Sheila.
2014: Alternative to Modi.
2015: Alternative to Mogambo.
‪#‎CowardKejriwal‬

#‎CowardKejriwal‬ attacks the honest, hugs a convict, aligns with the corruptest party, selects MLAs who’ve been arrested and FIRed.

The support that Delhi’s Glorified Mayor and Crown Prince of the Failed Party get is simply mind-blowing.
‪#‎LetParliamentWork‬ ‪#‎CowardKejriwal‬

Before hiring someone, Kejri should have checked his background: Anna.
Arre baba had you checked Kejri’s background before hiring him, ye din nahin aate!

Anna Hazare ranted against bad political parties so much but ended up adding one more to the system.
‪#‎AAP‬

AAP makes its 123456th baseless allegation and will not follow it up because TV channels will give them great coverage.
‪#‎HitAndRun‬ ‪#‎AAPNautanki‬

Na khaoonga, na khaane doonga.
—Modi.
Na kaam karoonga, na kaam karne doonga.
—Congressman.
Na corruption hataunga, na hataane doonga.
—Sri Sri Yugpurush.

AAP.
Margdarshak Mandal from outside: YoYa, PrBh.
Virtual Chief Minister: Manish Sisodia.
Chief Activist and film critic: Sri Sri Yugpurush.

Sonia, Jaitley and Kejri are all darlings of the media.
If they all start fighting with each other then system overload ho jaayega.

At this rate Anna Hazare will launch August Kranti 2016 against Arvind Kejriwal.
Kiran Bedi could be the only consistent factor.

After August Kranti agitation…
Anna: Ye desh ke saath dhokhaghadi hua hai!
After ‪#‎CowardKejriwal‬’s latest theatrics…
Desh: Ye to hamaare saath dhokhaghadi hua hai!

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

#IfCBIRaids #CowardKejriwal…

Kejriji should be appointed the JAGPal of India.
Judge Advocate General and Lokpal.

They unleashed every investigative agency against Modi for a decade.
Now when Haters are merely “summoned” or “probed” they start crying!

Anonymous troll talks nonsense.
—Modi is responsible!
Delhi Chief Minister abuses.
—Ye bechaara kaam ka maara, ise chahiye hamara sahara.

All those accusing Modi of being a criminal are suddenly getting chargesheeted, summoned or arrested left, right and centre.
P.S. Evidence is solid, to vendetta rone se koi faayada nahin.

Hug Lalu.
Quiet on National Herald.
Anger on anti-corruption raids.
What is this now…
India For Corruption?

Sonia—Me Supreme Leader.
Kejri—Me Supreme Leader.
Sonia—Can’t summon me.
Kejri—Can’t raid me.
Sonia—Me super clean.
Kejri—Me hyper clean.

Some Congress haters will back Modi.
Some Modi haters will back Congress.
All (Modi + Congress) haters will always back Kejri.
Uska life set hai.

Kejri’s new ‪#‎OddEvenFormula‬
He’ll attack Modi on odd days and attack Modi and even days.
‪#‎AdarshLiberals‬ + Congress: LOL! We’ve been doing that since 2002!

If there was no Modi then maybe Prime Minister Pappu and Leader of Opposition Kejri would have been shouting and supporters clashing 24X7.

Kejri did power meter cutting drama, became CM.
Did dharna drama, got 67/70 seats.
I’m sure this Twitter drama will get him something.

When a Nehru-Gandhi Dynast is born, he comes with a stamp “Future Prime Minister”.
Kejri was born with the stamp “Mr Clean For Life”.

How it actually is…
2011—Every politician is corrupt.
2012—Whatever I say is always true.
2015—I am a politician.
‪#‎Kejri‬

How Kejri wants it…
CBI—Sirji main aapko raid karne aau?
Accused—Nahin main busy hu, agle mahine aana.
CBI—OK sir, sorry to disturb you.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Paanch Saal Kejriwal musings…

AAP’s internal survey says that Arvind Kejriwal is already Chief Minister of New Delhi, though he may resign again on February 10.

Key to opinion polls…
Overestimate BJP and Modi bashing begins after results.
Underestimate BJP and Modi bashing done before results.
Either way Modi haters win.

Mr Natwarlal was released in 1979 and had a good run.
Mr Kejriwal was released in 2013 and is still running in 2015.

Delhi Assembly elections spoilt for choice…
Vote for…
a) A weak Delhi BJP.
b) A non-existent Congress.
c) A joke called AAP.
d) An impotent NOTA button.

Changing one at a time…
2011: India Against Corruption.
2013: Politics Against Corruption.
2015: Politics For Corruption.
‪#‎AAPFundingScam‬

Old Lakhan…
Dus ko main dus lakh karke dikhaa du…
New Lakhan…
Paanch ko main paanch million karke dikhaa du…

Years back an aam aadmi saw Laloo, Mulayam, Maya, Mamata, BSY etc and said…
Even I can emulate them!
And emulate them he did.
‪#‎PaanchSaalNautanki‬

Guess who?
My words are not worth even 0.5 aana.
Beggar gave me 5 Rupees.
I lasted (almost) 50 days.
My party may last 500 days.
Every day I lose 5000 supporters.
Anna gave me 5 lakh followers.
Crooks gave me 50 lakh Rupees.

Kejri’s Believe It Or Not!
Someone who worked in the Indian Revenue Service and campaigned nationally against black money is pretending that he is clueless about black money reaching the accounts he manages.

Even the Congress comes with a 5-year guarantee card.
The AAP one is valid for 49 days.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

The strange tale of Politician Kejriwal Grundy…

Politician Kejriwal Grundy,

Born on a Monday,

Launched party on Tuesday,

Became CM on Wednesday,

Declared future PM on Thursday,

Lost his CMship on Friday,

Lost his PMship dreams on Saturday,

His politics took ill, grew worse, died and buried on Sunday.

That was the end,

Of Politician Kejriwal Grundy.

This version by Sunil Rajguru

AAP and the 420 factor…

In 1984, the Congress won a record 414 Lok Sabha seats.
In 2014, the Congress lost 418 seats.
But the AAP broke that record by losing 420 seats, a highly symbolic number.

AAP doesn’t respect other parties.
Doesn’t respect law and order.
Doesn’t respect courts.
Doesn’t respect anything at all.
Result…
Nobody respects the AAP, especially the voters.

AAP is curing Indian politics using Homeopathy: Like cures like.
They will cure bad parties by becoming as bad as them.

© Sunil Rajguru

Thus spake Kejriwal…

Kejriwal bolta media paid hai…
Shazia Ilmi, ex-Star.
Ashutosh, ex-Aaj Tak-IBN7.
Manish Sisodia, ex-Zee News-AIR.
Anita Pratap, ex- Time magazine-Indian Express.
Ashish Khetan, ex-Tehelka-Gulail.
Rakhi Birlan, ex-Jain TV.
Jarnail Singh, ex-Dainik Jagran.

Kejriwal bolta chargesheeted politicians and those with court cases—politics chhodo!
Kejriwal: Dharna case, multiple code of conduct violations.
Bharti: Pulled up by court, vigilante raid case.
Ashutosh-Shazia: BJP headquarters’ attack case.
Manish Sisodia: Fined in Sibal defamation case.
Many AAP Lok Sabha candidates: Many criminal cases.

Kejriwal bolta India ka capitalism crony hai
Kejriwal, ex-Tata Steel.
Meera Sanyal, ex-CEO and Chairperson of Royal Bank of Scotland.
V Balakrishnan, ex-CFO Infosys.
Somnath Bharti, ex-Madgen Solutions.
Dilip Pandey, ex-TCS.

Kejriwal blasts establishment…
Thus spake Kejriwal, ex-IIT, ex-IRS, ex-Chief Minister.

Post script…
Kejriwal says all politicians are bad.
Kejriwal is a politician.

© Sunil Rajguru