Recycled old New Year musings…

font-1927171_640• You know that New Year Resolutions are just another form of GIGO, called RIRO…
GIGO=Garbage In Garbage Out.
RIRO=Resolution In Resolution Out.

• Does the collective optimism of a few billion people on the eve of December 31 actually help kick-start a new year better?

• If it’s a really good resolution, then you don’t have to wait till the New Year.
And if you’ve put off the resolution for the New Year, then the Resolution may well continue to be put off way after that.

• Does Father Time suddenly look at the date and find it’s December 31 and say: Oh God! A year has ended; let me change the luck/fortune of this world/country/person/group?
That decade was so… 2009 was so… are such artificial constructs. Fortunes and eras don’t wait for a date, beginning and ending at any time they please. They could last for a second, 17 days, 8 months, 13.5 years or 7.34567 decades.

∙ In 1752, the calendar went straight from September 3 to 13 to adjust the calendar.
Protest the lost days!
Celebrate New Year on January 12!

• The only reason there is more hope and optimism with every successive December 31 is because the firecrackers are getting better and more in number.

• The media is managing to dig up more and more depressing news with every successive year. That helps with the optimism part on December 31 night at least!

• Does a New Year’s Day really change anything? Does every Birthday really change your perspective? Does an anniversary change fortunes? For me there are only two types of days: Holidays and Working Days. Any other classification is irrelevant.

• Why a New Year Resolution? Why not a New Month Resolution or a New Week Resolution or a New Day Resolution or a Mid-Day Resolution?

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Kejri, is it true?

An editor told me that a politician told him that an activist told an intellectual that an artist was told by me that XYZ is corrupt.

I will behave like an aam aadmi.
But treat me like a khaas aadmi.
I have the power of a khaas aadmi.
But the responsibility of an aam aadmi.

2015 review.
‪#‎AwardWapsi‬ is in the past.
‪#‎LaluWapsi‬ and ‪#‎KejriWapsi‬ is in the future and will destroy Bihar and Delhi by 2020.

Vadra: Are you serious?
Kejri: Is it true?
Sonia: My MIL is Indira.
Pappu: I’m on vacation.
‪#‎AdarshLiberal‬: Rising intolerance.
Media: ‪#‎BlowToModi‬.

XYZ keeps changing every week.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Yet more Bollywood musings…

Rights done.
PR done.
Marketing done.
Signings done.
Bookings done.
Music done.
All done.
What about story?
Time nahin. Shooting start karo.

Baazigar, Karan Arjun: SRK dominated.
DDLJ: Both dominated.
KKHH, K3G: Kajol dominated.
MNIK: Box office domination decline.
Dilwale: Box office domination zero.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Some filmi musings…

Old Hollywood made films for adults.
New Hollywood makes films for male adolescent teens.
Old Bollywood made films for hopeless romantics.
New Bollywood makes films for morons.

For Bollywood film distributors, Dilwale was Diwaaliya and Bajirao was mast.

SRK’s box office superhit partner…
Karan Arjun
Om Shanti Om
Chennai Express
Happy New Year

‪#‎AppWapsi‬ ‪#‎SayNoToSnapDeal‬ trends.
‪#‎BoycottDilwale‬ trends.

Kyunki Vulgarity Queen bhi kabhi Saas-Bahu Queen thi.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

#AdarshLiberal musings…

Baba Ramdev can’t speak there as JNU students find him regressive.
Ha bhai, Stalin aur Mao to bahut progressive the—they killed 100 million plus between them.

JNU is the Fountainhead of Intolerance.
It is also the Fountainhead of the Fake Intolerance Campaign.

Jungle Raj 1: UP.
Jungle Raj 2: West Bengal.
Jungle Raj 3: Bihar.
Kejri trying Jungle Raj 4.
They are all safe because Modi is there to blame.

Nitish joined hands with a convict and brought back Jungle Raj.
That gave orgasms to our intellectuals.
Shows you their worth.

If the US newspapers got subsidies, huge government ads, black money and bungalows for their editors, then even they’d do really well. Wait…

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Is it true that Kejri…

Sum of Kejri’s investigative skills…
1. Is it true?
2. He said that.
3. I heard that.
4. I read that.
5. I allege that.

By 2020 Kejri will be left with 1 Million allegations and Zero achievements.

In private we gossip, talk nonsense, rant and blame others for all our woes.
Kejriwal does exactly the same thing—except he does it on national TV.

Make a list of all the things Kejri ranted against as being really bad.
The things he hasn’t done…
…he will do in the future.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru