And they can’t stop the Modi juggernaut…

Red is dead.
Saffron is on.

Before 2014, nationwide Congress always had more MLAs than BJP.
Now Congress has close to 800 and BJP 1400 odd.

100 days before a poll: Modi haarega haarega!
50 days: haarega!
10 days: haarega!
1 day: haarega!
D-Day: Arre jeet gaya! Chalo next time…

Big 3 of World Tennis.
Fed. Rafa. Djoko.
Big 3 of Indian politics.
Nehru. Indira. Modi.

Bihar had the Mahagatbandhan.
Retrospectively the UP Pappu + Akhilesh alliance can be called the Mahagadbad.

Anna is threatening another agitation, against Modi.
Means he’s opening another political training course for Kejri ka sequel.

2011. All politicians are corrupt—Kejri.
2017. Kejri is corrupt—All politicians.

Does anyone remember that 6 years back the nation came to a standstill, an old man fasted, a new party was born over Lokpal?
Where’s the Lokpal?

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

My Complete Narendra Modi Columns

Modi haters must reconcile with the fact that Modi is here to stay
March 11, 2017,

I expect Modi to take bolder, hardline, controversial decisions in 2017, December 5, 2016

Modi haters are only making it worse for India
June 22, 2016,

Has Swamy replaced Jaitley as Modi’s new mukhauta?
May 13, 2016,

Modi doesn’t want India to see another Kalam for president
March 31, 2016,

Modi Haters Will Outrage And Fume Till 2019 No Matter What
February 2, 2016,

How Modi made Pakistan irrelevant in India’s foreign policy
December 26, 2015,

8 reasons Modi will do absolutely nothing about Ram Mandir
November 30, 2015,

And you Thought Modi Was Doing Nothing?
November 30, 2015,

5 reasons why Modi doesn’t give regular interviews or press conferences
November 26, 2015,

Acchhe Din Are Already Here
November 26, 2015,

25 controversies of Narendra Modi
November 16, 2015,

Narendra Modi: The Man Who Bounces Back
November 9, 2015,

8 #BlowToModi moments in 2015
November 9, 2015,

Something Went Wrong with You? Just blame Modi
November 3, 2015,

Don’t blame Modi for Godhra if you are ready to spare Gandhis
October 28, 2015,

Right to malign Modi a fundamental MSM right
April 13, 2015,

Rise of the outsiders in Indian politics
January 21, 2015,

My Narendra Modi Columns till 2014

The Modi Haters will never give up…

Modi’s knowledge of economics can be written on the back of a postage stamp.
—P Chidambaram.
Chidu’s bosses’ (Pappu and Sonia) knowledge of everything can be written on the back of a postage stamp.

Modi Hater on the glass half-full half-empty analogy…
The glass is tainted, it is half empty and the other half is contaminated water.

Abusing Modi in the comfort of their lavish Lutyens’ homes, they even have a problem with Modi being politely addressed as “Mr Prime Minister” in an interview.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

In how many steps can you reach Modi?

Udta Punjab shows how bad the situation of Punjab is.
Punjab is ruled by the Badals.
Badals are aligned with the BJP.
BJP = Modi!

Udta Punjab was almost banned by censor board.
Censor board chief is Pahalaj Nihalini.
Nihalini was appointed by I&B Ministry.
I&B Minister reports to Modi.

Or simply…

Dadri is a sign of worsening law and order in the country.
This country is ruled by Modi.

There is intolerance in the country.
This country is ruled by Modi.

The economy of this country is going nowhere.
This country is ruled by Modi.

© Sunil Rajguru

The latest round of Modi musings…

Supporters of Sonia: Neutral.
Supporters of Kejri: Neutral.
Supporters of Lalu: Neutral.
Supporters of Modi: Fill in blanks with expletives.

Who is greater? Sachin or Kohli? At least that’s a debate.
What of ‪#‎AdarshLiberals‬ who still think Pappu-Kejri-Kanhaiya each is greater than Modi?

Pappu will challenge Modi! (44 LS seats)
No Kejri will challenge Modi! (4 LS seats)
Errr Kanhaiya will challenge Modi! (CPI 1 LS seat)

The man* who does things makes many mistakes, but he never makes the biggest mistake of all: Doing nothing**!
—Benjamin Franklin
*Modi **MMS

Before: Don’t put caste or religion in headline, makes it look bad.
Now: Don’t put caste or religion in headline, unless it makes Modi look bad.

Modi to launch Stand Up India.
Pappu launched Stand Up Comedy India many years back.

Most ‪#‎OpinionPolls‬ in…
2002: Modi will lose.
2004: NDA will win.
2007: Modi will lose.
2009: UPA-NDA neck and neck, UPA slightly ahead.
2012: Hung Assembly in UP.
2014: BJP will not get 272.
2015: Some polls said Mahagatbandhan would win clearly. Some said NDA would win clearly. One gave such a range that MGB win, NDA win and hung Assembly was in a single poll!
Yet we fall for them every time.
Every single time!

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

The most hated politician marches on…

Indian media attacks Modi.
Foreign media attacks Modi.
Civil Society attacks Modi.
Opposition leaders attack Modi.
BJP leaders attack Modi.
Modi must be fully made of Teflon by now.

2002: Will lose Gujarat.
2007: Will lose Gujarat.
2013: Won’t get PM candidate.
2014: Won’t win India.
Jokers already predicting how he’ll lose 2019.

Overheard somewhere…
JAS quarter Intolerance ka tha.
OND Vendetta pe gaya.
Ab batao JFM quarter ka kya agenda hai bhai?

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Modi finally seems to hit out…

Modi increases the temperature just a wee bit and all the Opposition leaders start jumping like cats on a hot tin roof.

Attacked Modi in 2002, he won.
Attacked him in 2007, he won.
Attacked him in 2014, he won.
Attacking him for 2019.

Sonia: Tu jaanta nahin meri saas…
‪#‎CowardKejriwal‬: Tu jaanta nahin mera…
Kharge: Tu jaanta nahin…
Modi: Tu jaanta nahin main Pradhan Mantri hu? Dikhau?

Very soon Doordarshan will have to launch an ‪#‎AajKaRaid‬ bulletin.
‪#‎IfCBIRaids‬ ‪#‎IfEDRaids‬

Since all his opponents have rubbished his ‪#‎ChaiPeCharcha‬, Modi has decided to launch ‪#‎RaidPeCharcha‬ on all of them.
‪#‎IfCBIRaids‬ ‪#‎IfEDRaids‬

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Modi government musings…

Prime Minister—Mann Ki Baat.
Finance Minister—Dhan Ki Baat.
Defence Minister—Gun Ki Baat.
Sports Minister—Run Ki Baat.
Food Minister—Bun Ki Baat.

Modi—Best PM.
Prabhu—Best RM.
Gadkari—Best InfraM.
Goyal—Best PowerM.
Sushma—Best EAM.
Parrikar—Best DM.
Maybe not yet, but they are trying.

Piyush Goyal is the most powerful Power Minister in India’s history.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

No matter what, Modi is always wrong…

When Narendra Modi is the Chief Minister of Gujarat, then everything bad that happens in Gujarat is his fault.
When Mamata Banerjee is the Chief Minister of West Bengal, then everything bad that happens in West Bengal is the Prime Minister’s fault.
Note: this applies to every State in India.

Hans Christen Anderson…
The emperor’s new clothes = Naked.
Indian mainstream media…
The Prime Minister’s new clothes = Rs 10 lakh sorry Louis Vuitton sorry…

The priceless logic…
People insulting Sonia (1-2) should quit.
People insulting Modi (1000-2000) should stay put.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Mann ki baat and other radio shows…

radio-2224443_640Narendra Modi: Mann ki baat.

Sonia Gandhi: Son ki baat.

Mukesh Ambani: Dhan ki baat.

Sunny Leone: Tann ki baat.

News headline writer: Pun ki baat.

MTV Generation: Fun ki baat.

Soldier: Rann ki baat.

Terrorist groups: Gun ki baat.

Bakery show: Bun ki baat.

Solar company: Sun ki baat.

Census official: Jan ki baat.

Attila: Hun ki baat.

MS Dhoni: Won ki baat.

Chinese restaurant: Wonton ki baat.

Bangalore restaurant: Vaangi bhaat…
…and bisi bhele bhaat, khara bhaat, kesari bhaat, chow chow bhaat…

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

My Narendra Modi Columns till 2014

9 #BlowToModi moments after he became PM
December 22, 2014,

Narendra Modi’s 10 hits of 2014…
December 15, 2014,

31: Number of the year for Modi haters
December 10, 2014,

Mo’ White and the 11 dwarves
November 19, 2014,

100% Modi bags two hat-tricks…
October 21, 2014,

Get Modi wrong a million times? Keep talking!
October 3, 2014,

Mahatma Modi to Adolf Hitler
October 2, 2014,

PM Modi’s 100-hour report card
May 30, 2014,

A chaiwallah beats all the dynasties…
May 23, 2014,

5 ways people are still rubbishing Modi’s win
May 21, 2014,

Gujarat Model already implemented in New Delhi
May 20, 2014,

Narendra Modi’s acceptance speech…
May 19, 2014,

7 reasons why Modi’s campaign succeeded…
May 19, 2014,

Which was India’s ultimate ‘wave’ election?
May 18, 2014,

Now it’s Nehru, Indira and Modi!
May 16, 2014,

My Narendra Modi Columns before he became PM…

Idea of the year: A man called Modi

bulb-40701_640More than the man, an idea won in 2014.

From 2002-12, Narendra Modi was presented as a very bad idea by the powerful and influential.

A communal idea. A Fascist idea. A dictatorial idea. The very opposite of the idea of India as represented by our founding father Jawaharlal Nehru.

The idea that immediately came to mind in 2002 when one thought of Modi was hordes of alpha males in khaki shorts and lathis running all over India. The idea of Modi haters was of riots upon riots. Their idea of him was Godhra, something that represents the sum of all evil in India.

When Godhra faded into the background, he was presented as an idea of a twisted and one-sided form of capitalism running loose and making the rich richer and the poor poorer.

This is the idea of Modi that a small powerful group had been selling to India. It is ironic that this is exactly the same idea (if you just leave out the khaki shorts) under which the Congress could be marketed to its critics, but that’s another story altogether.

However that was only one side of the story. There was another counter to it, but that was muffled in the outrage over Godhra.

hope-2046018_640The very first idea that Modi represented to Gujarat was hope: As simple as that. Gujarat was wrecked after a horrific earthquake where 20,000 people were killed and 400,000 homes were destroyed.

That Modi rebuilt the State from scratch is a story that has been totally boycotted by the media. But thanks to Modi, the Gujaratis had their own audacity of hope. As the years went by, Gujaratis equated Modi with the ideas of development and good governance.

power-poles-503935_640Who wouldn’t want the idea of good roads and uninterrupted power?

One by one the people of India started getting their own ideas of India from the Gujaratis.

The industry looked to an idea of (as Modi later put it directly into his election campaign) minimum government and maximum governance.

By 2012 it was clear that Modi was a serious challenger for the PM’s post. When he gave his LSR College speech at the beginning of 2013, the youth of India started looking to the idea of politics without caste, religion and populism: The idea of the birth of new politics and the death of old politics.

AAP chief Arvind Kejriwal briefly captured this idea and captured the imagination of the nation but he fell way short with his deeds and dramas.

When Modi started connecting with the people of India, then a multitude of ideas emerged.

The idea of a simple chaiwallah rising up to lead a nation of one billion…

The idea of a closed political system opening up to the masses…

The idea of a man making it big by merit and not by birth…

The idea of the country adopting a development model and not a caste model…

The idea of not relying on fate but taking one’s own destiny into one’s own hands…

The idea of India being a superpower and standing up to the world…

The good ideas burst out of Modi’s head and into Gujarat. Then they burst out of Gujarat and into the rest of India.

The positive ideas soon mushroomed and drowned out the bad ideas and Modi captured the imagination of the nation.

That’s why the Modi haters started fighting a losing battle. They tried to counter those ideas with arguments, facts and loud voices. That will never work.

A good idea can only be countered by a better idea.

The problem of the entire Opposition was that they offered much worse ideas than what Modi was offering.

Rahul Gandhi represented the idea of privilege, the idea of destiny by birth, the idea of the arrogance of refusing to take up any post prior to the PM’s chair.

Kejriwal ultimately represented the idea of anarchy. The idea of anger while in government never works.

Mayawati represented the idea of caste politics.

Manmohan Singh ultimately represented no idea at all.

Sonia Gandhi represented the idea of a government that would feed the poor and not the poor coming out poverty.

Whether you like it or not, Modi was the only leader in the 2014 general elections offering good ideas.

But the best idea of all was the idea of hope. You simply cannot counter that by trying to instil fear!

victor-hugo-489784_640As Victor Hugo once said…

No army can stop an idea whose time has come.

That has been the real theme of 2014.

The Idea of Nehru has been replaced by the Idea of Modi.

© Sunil Rajguru