If ponytail was their catchline writer…

Congress: Dare to think beyond the Dynasty?

BJP: Dare to think beyond Modi?

Diggy Raja: Dare to think beyond RSS?

BCCI: Dare to think beyond Dhoni?

Tata: Dare to think beyond a Tata?

Bansal: Dare to think beyond Raebareli?

BSP/SP: Dare to think beyond your Votebank?

For a dose of his own medicine…
Dare to think beyond Section 66A?

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Free Speech musings…

· Online: Comment. Go to jail. Like. Go to jail. Share. Go to jail. Draw cartoon. Go to jail. Criticize. Go to jail. Joke. Go to jail. (OR Get blocked).
Offline: Murder. Be free. Rape. Be free. Scam. Be free. Threaten. Be free. Riot. Be free.

· India is a country where making fun of a criminal on Twitter or Facebook makes you a criminal.

· Instead of Free News: Paid News.
Instead of Free Speech: Paid Speech, meaning you pay a heavy price if you exercise your right of Free Speech in India.

· Free Railways WiFi will come with the message…
This bandwidth is brought to you by the Congress.
You aren’t allowed to criticize us.
Have a safe journey and avoid Section66A!

· If there was an offline version of Section 66A for politicians, all of them would have been in jail by now.

· Do you believe in Free Speech?
Hillary Clinton: No I believe in Expensive Speech.
(5 speeches per million dollars, to be exact!)

© Sunil Rajguru

Cricketing musings…

· February Chennai India-Australia Test report…
Michael ki cycle stand giri. No time to Siddle down as they Wade through tricky waters for Hughes defeat. Starc contrast between the two teams, as Lyons become lambs. It’s a Warner for the remaining Tests as they Ed to Hyderabad. Spin’s in: It’s elementary, my dear Watson!

· 0-4: Koi baat nahin Dhoni!
0-8: Koi baat nahin Dhoni!
1-2: Enough, perform or perish!
Bam bam bam bam bam… 224!
BCCI: Sigh! Pahale kyun nahin warn kiya!

· Steyn: Me Best.
Philander: Me Bester.
Abbott: Me bestest.
(Dear Cricket South Africa,
More ODIs/T20s instead of Tests?
Warm regards,

· The curse of 2 Test Triples?
Lara was in and out of the team.
Gayle was dropped for ages.
Sehwag looks on his way out.
(Exception: Bradman)

© Sunil Rajguru

Political musings…

· The Congress launched Garibi Hatao in 1971.
The people launched Congress Hatao in 1977, 89, 96 and 2014.

· Thanks to Dhoni becoming VP of India Cements, Rahul can’t even hope to be the hottest VP in India.

· In 2009, UPA1 became UPAWon.
But since then UPA2 is UPAThoo!
UPA3 will be UPAChee!

· Rahul’s latest: Yesterday night Bansal came and hugged me and cried, “IRCTC is poison!”

· Jaitley: BJP-Congress bhai bhai?
Pranab: BJP-Congress spy spy!

© Sunil Rajguru

It happens only in India…

A woman who has absolutely no qualifications to speak of and who has been a housewife for most of her life is now the most powerful person in India.

A bureaucrat of financial matters with absolutely no grassroots support and who lost the only Lok Sabha elections he fought in his life is Prime Minister.

A lawyer who led many strikes in his youth which kept challenging authority all the way is now Defence Minister and in charge of the armed forces which are not supposed to challenge authority in any way.

A lawyer who represented the infamous Enron and who also once resigned from the Cabinet over his link with Fairgrowth (a company involved with a stock market scam) is now Finance Minister.

A former Sub-Inspector of police is now Home Minister and giving orders to the IGs and DIGs of India.

A career lawyer is the Communications IT Minister while an Electronics and Communications engineer is the HRD Minister. To assist the IT Minister, the Minister of State is an MBBS.

The Minister of State (HRD) is a foreign affairs expert.

A film star is Tourism Minister.

But in the past, this man set the all-time record…

A trade union activist, he became Industry Minister.
He led one of the biggest strikes of Indian Railways in 1974 and even lay in front of the tracks in front of a train and he subsequently became Railway Minister.
He fought authority all his life and protested against atomic bombs only to become Defence Minister and oversee the Pokhran-II atomic blasts, fully justifying them.

© Sunil Rajguru

What they say and what they mean…

We will get to the bottom of it. (Corruption is an abyss without a bottom!)

The law will take its own course. (It’s been more than 20 years since Bofors, I love the Indian system for the course is infinite!)

We are ready to talk about this. (But we definitely won’t listen!)

The guilty will be punished. (Because according to us, nobody is guilty in the first place!)

We have a zero-tolerance policy. (Zero tolerance to criticism, that is!)

© Sunil Rajguru