Latest round of political musings…

Not only is Gujarat a BJP-ruled State, but all its neighbours (Rajasthan, Madhya Pradesh and Maharashtra) are BJP-ruled States too.

At this rate Pappu will suggest that King Bharat’s surname was actually Nehru.

What destruction in West Bengal CPM couldn’t do in 34 years, the Trinamool has done in 34 months.

Democracy, Dynasty style…
Nehru: 1st Amendment curtailing free speech.
Indira: Emergency.
Rajiv: Anti-defamation Bill (aborted).
Sonia: Section 66A.

The Saga of SoGa has ended and the Rage of RaGa has begun.
Backup: PriVa aur uska PriVaTe Citizen hai na!

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Latest round of match-fixing musings…

Scamster ho ya match-fixer ho…
Aakhir chhoot jaata hai, chhoot jata hai…

Reporter: Srini?
Mudgal: Sriknew.
‪#‎IPL‬ ‪#‎MudgalReport‬

Selector: Did you check out Powerplay 1, Powerplay 2 and Powerplay 3?
Official: No, I was checking out Individual 1, Individual 2 and Individual 3.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

My Contrary Sachin articles…

Sachin book: Well left (Not 1, but all the balls!)
November 8, 2014,

And why shouldn’t Chappell have played politics?
November 5, 2014,

7 failures of Sachin Tendulkar
22 November, 2013,

Padma Bhushan for world beaters…
Bharat Ratna for cricket!
17 November, 2013,

Thank God Sachin is retiring!
13 November, 2013,

It’s painful to watch Sachin struggle like this
25 March, 2012,

2012: Sachin’s worst year ever
18 December, 2012,

Sachin vs Ponting: Who’s the greatest?
30 November, 2012

Should Sachin make way for younger blood?
19 November, 2012

Tendulkar is well past his sell-by date
03 September, 2012,

8 question marks for Sachin’s all-time great status
19 March, 2012,

Time for Sachin to go
17 March, 2012,

Is Sachin really the greatest batsman of all time?, 2 March, 2010

The Paradox that is Pappu…

Pappu in 2011 after a trip to Amethi…
You feel angry if you visit the homes of the poor.
(This even though it is the Congress that has impoverished the nation by failing spectacularly from 1947-2011.)

But then…
2012: Modi practices politics of anger.
2013: Anger in India must be cooled.
2014: Angry people running nation.

All this said with great rage and bluster.
Paraphrasing Shakespeare…
His every speech is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Nehru and Pappu musings…

If Nehru’s birthday is celebrated as Children’s Day, then Pappu’s birthday should be celebrated as Babies’ Day.

Jawaharlal Nehru’s legacy…
Confused foreign policy.
Kashmir dispute.
Chinese humiliation.
Economic policy that crashed in 1991.
Delhi durbar.
First Amendment that curtailed free speech.

Pappu is like Kumbhakaran.
Sleeps for months, gets up and rages like hell, sleeps for months again, gets up…
Meanwhile all Congress chances have gone permanently to sleep.

The Congress is just short of coining the slogan…
Mera Nehru Mahaan.
(All senior leaders as it is swear by…
Mera Dynasty Mahaan.)

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Rohit Sharma 264 musings…

Such a long journey…
From Rohit to Nohit to Superhit Sharma.

Fact of the day…
India crossed 260 in an ODI match only once from 1974-1981 (17 years).
Rohit Sharma matched that feat in 3.5 hours.

1998, Chennai.
Saeed Anwar on 194 in just the 47th over, one hit away from becoming first to hit ODI double hundred.
Sachin gets his wicket and finishes the job 12 years later.
And then the Indians just can’t get enough of them!

If Maggi wanted to hire Rohit Sharma as its brand ambassador, then they would be forced to launch 200-minute noodles.

Finishers all…
Dhoni: I can stay till the end.
Raina: I can also stay till the end.
Kohli: Me too.
Rohit: Me too.

ODI innings separated by nearly 40 years.
7 June, 1975, Sunil Gavaskar: 36* (174).
13 November, 2014, Rohit Sharma: 264 (173).

Said Shakespeare in Macbeth…
Double, double toil and trouble!
Lankan player: Really? I thought that was Rohit taunting us at Eden Gardens.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Conundrum in Maharashtra …

NCP backs BJP…
So has the BJP become secular?
Or has the NCP become communal.

Sena-Congress bhai bhai…
So has the Sena become secular?
Or has the Congress become communal.

Or are all four now communal?
Or are all four now secular?

Ye kaisi paheli hai?
P.S. While the liberals-intellectuals are going red in the face, the electorate has already shifted to development.

© Sunil Rajguru

When Pappu broke the default setting…

Pre-1947: Mahatma Gandhi lays ground work to make the Congress party the default setting for Independent India.

1947: Nehru kick starts Congress as default setting.

1980: Indira brings India back to default setting.

1991: Rajiv assassination brings India back to default setting again.

2004: Sonia brings back to default setting yet again.

2012: Pappu breaks default setting.

2013: Dominoes start to fall, Congress loses Delhi and Rajasthan.

2014: Modi resets default setting to BJP.

Dominoes continue to fall: Maharashtra, Haryana…

Pappu > Mahatma + Nehru + Indira + Rajiv + Sonia.

© Sunil Rajguru

Maharashtra government hungama…

Shiv Sena supported Pratibha Patil.
She is Marathi, not Congressi.
Sena doesn’t support Suresh Prabhu.
He is BJP, not Marathi?

Who is ruling the State?
Principal Opposition?
—Shiv Sena.
How did all this happen?
And Congress?
—Who are they???

It’s called the Sena (army) and hence has to keep fighting someone.
With the Congress decimated in Maharashtra, the Shiv Sena will now take on the BJP.

Shiv Sena…
Say yes na!
Say na!
Say na!
BJP: seNa.

Narrowing gap…
News: 5 Congress MLAs suspended in Maharashtra.
Effect: Majority vote in Assembly down from 145 to 142.
BJP: Aur halla karo! Bring it on!

September 26: BJP breaks ties with Sena.
September 27: Is Sena breaking ties with BJP?
October: Will Sena snap ties with BJP?
November: Is the Sena relationship with BJP over?

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Musings in the Modi era…

Pappu: I am tearing up this ordinance.
Singhvi: The ordinance was eaten by termites.

BJP slogan…
Centre main Narendra,
State main Devendra.
Pseudo-secular alliance slogan…
Centre main Damaad,
State main Damaad.
‪#‎Vadra‬ ‪#‎Manjhi‬ ‪#‎AreYouSerious‬

We are entering an age of Pappu politics when it comes to a political dynasty…
‪#‎Rahul‬ ‪#‎Akhilesh‬ ‪#‎YSR‬ ‪#‎Omar‬ ‪#‎Uddhav‬ ‪#‎Raj‬ ‪#‎Ajit‬ ‪#‎Rane‬ ‪#‎Karti‬ ‪#‎Azhagiri‬ ‪#‎Khurshid‬

Modi: Where are you going?
Jaitley: To launch the book written by someone who claims he’s not anti-Modi and with you prominently on the cover.
Modi: OK.
Jaitley: Phew!

Q: What’s the one thing that unites diverse leaders like Nehru, Sonia, Srinivasan and Manjhi?
A: Damaad woes.

Lone: Can we have a tie-up with the BJP?
Modi: Sure. Stand in the queue behind PDP and NC. Counter opens after results are declared.

The irony…
Bharadwaj: PC totally responsible for 2G.
Collective Responsibility of Constitution: PM is responsible for Minister’s scams.
P.S. MMS reported to Madam.

The Congress and the Third and Fourth Fronts should actually get together and launch the Second Front to give a serious challenge to the BJP.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Indispensable Dhoni musings…

BCCI: We hereby make you captain!
Dhoni: Does the captaincy come with a guarantee card?
BCCI: Yes, in your case, it is valid for your entire cricketing life.

BCCI logic…
Fatigued Dhoni = Indispensable.
Losing Dhoni = Indispensable.
Injured Dhoni = Indispensable.

Fact of the day…
About 24% of all Test matches ever won by India from 1932-2014 against the Top 8 teams were done under the captaincy of MS Dhoni.
Next best Azhar: Half of that (13).

These versions by Sunil Rajguru