#Demaunetization: When the silent one spoke!

If Einstein was alive, he would have said of Manmohan…
Generations to come will scarce believe that such a one as this ever in flesh and blood walked upon this earth without a spine.

Sonia released Robot 1.0 in 2004, it ran till 2009.
Sonia released Robot 2.0 in 2009, it ran till 2014.
Even Rajinikanth can’t beat that!

Manmohan as The Trinity…
1991-96: The Creator.
2004-09: The Preserver.
2009-14: The Destroyer.

Manmohan Singh taught me…
1. Money doesn’t grow on trees.
2. #TheekHai.
3. In the end we are all dead.

Modi doesn’t know what he’s saying before a speech.
(Because it’s extempore.)
Manmohan also doesn’t know what he’s saying before a speech.
(Because someone else has written it and he’s given it at the last moment.)

His multiple choices …
a) First Manmohan Singh became Economist.
b) Second he became Bureaucrat.
c) Third he became Politician.
d) Finally he became “None of the Above”.

SINGH is King!
S = Spectrum, coal and many other scams.
I = Internet Emergency.
N = No spine whatsoever.
G = Gayab. (Awaaz, governance, etc…)
H = Home and abroad both equal failures.

A movie on Manmohan Singh’s life would be called O.H.M.S.
On Her Majesty’s Service.
He has been serving the Dynasty and not the nation since 1998.

Everyone knew Manmohan was a tubelight.
He started speaking about 2004-14 misrule only in 2016.

The problem with watching Manmohan Singh’s speech is that I funnily get the feeling that any time now he’s going to burst into tears.

Manmohan Singh…
The only man to have given 1300 official speeches and still said nothing.

Sanjaya Baru calls Manmohan Singh an accidental Prime Minister.
Par accident to India ka hua na?
MMS = Minion of Madam Sonia.

Madam: #Demonetization kaisa hai?
Puppet: #TheekHai!
Madam: Kya!!! Aaj RS main blast karna hai!
Puppet: #TheekHai! (I’ll just describe UPA)

Even at the age of 84, after his speech he’ll have to go to her and say…
Madam! Main theek bola na? Aap khush to ho na?

Under the Manmohan regime, crooks freely converted white money to black with impunity.
He’s upset it’s all being undone by #Demonetization.

Manmohan Singh: The Father of Polinomics.
Half (Politicize economics)
+ Half (Economize politics)
= Zero.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Whatever happens, Manmohan is Mr Clean, OK?

When a fake story of a PM wearing a Rs 10 lakh suit came, tremendous outrage.
When a real story came of a PM causing a loss of Rs 2 lakh crore—well that’s OK!

Corrupt (adjective): Having or showing a willingness to act dishonestly in return for money or personal gain.
(Sticking on to PM’s chair = Personal gain.)
Usage: Manmohan Singh is corrupt to the core.

CWG scam—Off with Kalmadi!
2G scam—Off with Raja!
Coalgate—Err… ummm… the Coal Minister/Prime Minister is such a sweet fellow na?

Bolo Manmohan beta, C for Coalgate.
Manmohan: Nahin! C for Clean chit from madam. So there!

Pahele chori. (UPA2’s Coalgate, 2G, CWG, etc etc etc)
Fir seena zori. (‪#‎MarchForManmohan‬ ‪#‎IStandWithMMS‬)

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

The Sonia-Manmohan Raj ends…

Leader: Your RS term is coming to an end.
Manmohan: No I’m still a Rajya Sabha MP.
Leader: I meant Rubber Stamp term.
#TheekHai

The Dynasty Trinity…
Jawaharlal: The Creator.
Indira: The Preserver.
Sonia: The Destroyer.

Today…
I&B Minister: We don’t need an I&B Minister.
After May 16…
Sonia: We don’t need a Prime Minister.
P.S. But we didn’t have one from 2004-14.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Manmohan Singh’s last days as PM…

Army chief gaya BJP main yaar,
Home Secy bana saffron star,
RAW chief bhi gaya us paar,
Mera bhai bhi ho gaya faraar,
Abki baar Modi sarkaar.

If Einstein was alive, he would have said of Manmohan…
Generations to come will scarce believe that such a one as this ever in flesh and blood walked upon this earth without a spine.

“I feel very sad. I have no control.”
—Manmohan Singh on his brother joining BJP.
But that also applies to scams, economy, defence, security, governance and just about everything else.

Manmohan Singh: My brother joined the BJP.
Priyanka Vadra: Lucky you! Unfortunately mine joined the Congress.

Manmohan Singh’s final words…
#TheekHaiYaar
#AbkiBaarModiSarkaar

2004: I am ready to work under Madam.
2009: I am ready to work under Pappu.
2013: I am ready to work under Pappini.
2014: I am ready to work under Modi.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Our dear ole accidental Prime Minister…

Sanjaya Baru calls Manmohan Singh an accidental Prime Minister.
Par accident to India ka hua na?

Sanjaya Baru’s book is fiction: PMO.
That Manmohan was ever PM itself is fiction: Citizen.

Manmohan Singh’s biography…
The Accidental Prime Minister.
Rahul Gandhi’s biography…
The Accident.

MMS = Minion of Madam Sonia.

Baru ne kee MMS pe vaar,
Abki baar Modi sarkar.

Jag main sundar do hai naam,
Chaahe remote control kaho ya rubber stamp.
—Sonia Mata.

1992: Everyone knows Babri demolition planned.
2014: Breaking News! Babri demolition planned!
2004: Everyone knows MMS is Sonia stooge.
2014: Breaking News! MMS is Sonia stooge!

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

When Manmohan Singh finally spoke…

MMS speech…
Main #TheekHu
Pappu #TheekHai
UPA #TheekHai
Corruption #TheekHai
Economy #TheekHai
Modi #TheekNahinHai
Vote for Congress in 2014.
UPA3 zindabad!

MMS: I want Pappu to become PM so that history will then judge me as the second worst PM ever and not the worst!
#TheekHai

Q: How do you know Modi will be a “disastrous PM”?
MMS: Well, I’m the best judge as I have been one for 10 years now ain’t I?
#TheekHai

Apparent MMS logic…
Scams of UPA1 are OK because we got re-elected in 2009.
Scams of UPA2 are OK because Modi will be a disastrous PM in 2014.
#TheekHai

Arvind Kejriwal: Yeah! I am finally trending above Narendra Modi!
Alok Nath: Bitch please!
Manmohan Singh: My one boring speech can change that, #TheekHai?

Every night Manmohan Singh stares at the 2009 giant spoof poster “Singh is King” in his bedroom, sighs and goes to sleep.
#TheekHai

MMS statement…
Scams in UPA1 are OK because we got re-elected in 2009.
Corollary…
So if you don’t get re-elected in 2014, then you are guilty of scams of UPA2?

Future tense…
Modi as a PM will be a disaster: MMS.
Present tense…
MMS as a PM is a disaster.
Past tense…
On hindsight, even UPA1 was a disaster.

Manmohan: Pappu beta, tu PM banega?
Pappu: #TheekHai.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru