The UPA scams just go on and on…

Economic Reforms.
1. Rao.
2. Vajpayee.
3. Modi.
That’s it.
Manmohan was merely initially Rao’s assistant and then Sonia’s.

Axis Bank in the news for all the wrong reasons post #Demonetization.
Fun fact of the day…
Manmohan inaugurated the first Axis Bank then UTI Bank) in 1994.

Father of Acidic Reforms. (Spoilt politics)
Father of Uneconomic Reforms. (Corruption)
Anything but Father of Economic Reforms—That was Rao.

Father of Bionic Reforms. (Robot)
Father of Anaemic Reforms. (Low energy)
Anything but Father of Economic Reforms—That was Rao.

Manmohan Singh is 84.
And he still has to dance to Madam’s tunes.
Ghulam till I die!

Aam aadmi = Lakhpati.
Middle class = Crorepati.
Trader = Arabpati (100 crores).
Industrialist = Kharabpati (10,000 crores).
All scamsters = Neelpati (10 lakh crores).

Coal Minister innocent in Coalgate.
Economic whiz innocent in 2G.
Guess he’s snow white despite signing AgustaWestland files.

Deve Gowda was the Humble Farmer.
Manmohan Singh was the Fumble Harmer.

To think that Sonia and Manmohan knew absolutely nothing of all the umpteen scams that took place during UPA rule is the height of naivety.

100 scams under Sonia’s UPA—They leave her totally alone. Totally.
Any move Modi makes big or small—Go batshit crazy & attack: Sparta!!!

UPA did 0/10 things.
No outrage for first 7-8 years.
Modi does 5/10 things.
A. He’s doing these 5 things wrong.
B. Why isn’t he doing the other 5 things?

Sonia’s UPA did scam upon scam and no-one attacked her, investigated her or went after her.
Modi’s every bold positive move is attacked viciously.

With the way he’s blabbing non-stop, looks like the P in P Chidambaram stands for Pappu.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Manmohan Singh and Narendra Modi are same to same…

Manmohan and Modi did the same number of foreign trips in a year.
The former’s trips were just formalities however.

Manmohan and Modi gave the same number of official speeches in a year.
You just didn’t hear the former however.

Manmohan and Modi both worked in office all day.
The former just worked like a glorified clerk and not a CEO however.

Manmohan and Modi both didn’t take money.
The former allowed everyone else to take but.

Manmohan (2009) and Modi (2014) both won mandates for their party.
The former handed it on a platter to Pappu but.

Manmohan and Modi both sat on the nation’s highest chair.
The former handed over the authority to someone else but.

© Sunil Rajguru

India sinking…

The UPA should be renamed Gravity.
It pulls everything down.

Father of the Nation = Narasimha Rao.
Godmother of the Nation = She Who Must Not Be Named.

Facebook to India: I’m also in the 100 Crore People Club
Ranbir to Khans: I’m also in the Rs 100 Crore Club.
$ to £: I’ll also be in Rs 100 Club soon!

Sitting in an auto looking at the rigged meter going up like crazy reminds you of the rate of Rupee, Petrol, Onion prices etc going up crazily too.

When Rupee touches 100 versus Dollar, we can switch to Cents.
Then it’ll be 1 Cent = 1 Rupee.
Oh wait, already roughly…
1 Penny = 1 Rupee.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

State of the nation in numbers…

Q: What’s common to Manmohan Singh and onions?
A: Both are 80. Both make you cry!

By a quirk of fate, India, Sonia and Rupee are all 66.

All Indian PMs have been older than India.
(They were born before Independence)
Modi could break this record.
P.S. Pappu is just older than Bangladesh.

Modi, 62.
Sonia, 66.
India, 66.
Rupee, 66.
Petrol, 76.
Onion, 80.
MMS, 80.
LKA, 85.
Sirf Pappu jawan hai!

True story.
Write a status message about the value of the Rupee (versus the dollar).
By the time you post it, the Rupee’s gone up again!

Rupee trolling and trailing Petrol saying…
Akele akele kahaan jaa rahe ho,
Hame saath le lo jahaan jaa rahe ho…

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Government end of days musings…

All Congressmen and beat reporters have a Sonia App on their mobile.
The moment she’s Unhappy, the Status flashes on their screen.

What if in 2014?
The light at the end of the tunnel is actually the headlights of the oncoming Third Front Train.

The Congress general elections trilogy…
1977: Doom 1.
1989: Doom 2.
2014: Doom 3.

Filmi Singh is King released in 2008.
No sequel.
Political Singh is King released in 2009.
No sequel.

CongRace1: Nehru.
CongRace2: Indira.
CongRace3: Rajiv.
UPA3 ke baad kuch bhi nahin bachega.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Manmohan Singh and state of the nation musings 5…

Congress is like Internet Explorer.
Nobody wants it, but since it’s the default setting and many people are too lazy to change it or download something else, it still has 30-40% market share.

Jaane kahan mera file gaya jee.
Jaane kahan mera PM gaya jee.
Janne kahan mera Government gaya jee.
Jaane kahan mera desh ja raha hai jee.

Generations to come will scarce believe that a Prime Minister ruled India from 2004-14.
— (If) Albert Einstein (was alive today)

Dear Economy,
Ashes to ashes, dust to dust.
If NREGA don’t get you, Food Bill must.

Old: If you love her, give her diamonds.
New: If you love her, take her on a long drive in your petrol car and make Chicken/Paneer Do Pyaza just for her.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru