Spectacular rise & rise of Pappu

profits-1953616_19202003: Armed with qualifications from Harvard and Cambridge he is a total no-one in politics.

2004: Enters politics and immediately becomes Lok Sabha MP in his very first attempt.

2007: Triple whammy! Promoted to Congress General Secretary, Chairperson of Indian Youth Congress and National Students Union of India!

2009: His magic leads to a whopping 42% growth of the Congress in the Lok Sabha: Great future hope for the media, intellectuals and Civil Society of India.

2013: Promoted to Congress Vice President by his sheer hard work and daring.

2017: Promoted to Congress President unanimously with no other option even remotely in sight.

2019: Presumptive official Prime Ministerial candidate of the Congress for the general elections and will still be the Great Hope for the anti-Modi brigade.

2024: Doesn’t matter what happens in 2019, for many he will still be the knight in shining armour if he should still happen to be around in this year or 2029 or 2034 or…

© Sunil Rajguru

UP polls and other Congress musings of the day…

Incredible India…
1977: Sanjay Gandhi destroys all copies of film Kissa Kursi Ka.
2016: Sonia Gandhi makes Kissa Kursi Ka hero Uttar Pradesh Chief.

If Mrs Vadra finally heads UP campaign, headline should be…
Congress finally gives job to unemployed woman.

If Pappini campaigns for 2017 UP polls, media will go batshit crazy.
If she super flops then they’ll have a super relaunch for 2019.

The roles of Pappu and Pappini keep getting larger and larger with each passing year and yet they are still so teeny weeny.

Had there been social media in 1947, a totally exposed Nehru would have quit politics in disgrace by 1955.

Congress in UP…
Prez: Babbar.
CM candidate: Dixit.
Mascot: Mrs Vadra.
Strategist: PK.
Mentor: Pappu.
Overall boss: Sonia.

Raj Babbar will get voters a full meal in Rs 12 in UP and Congress will storm the elections.

Article 356 is Copyright of Congress.
BJP got royally hammered in Arunachal Pradesh on grounds of Copyright violation.

At 88—Advani hopes to be President.
At 78—Sheila wants to be UP CM.
At 50—Salman off/on screen bachelor.
At 46—Pappu fresh youth icon.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

The Congress continues to sink musings…

Prominent preservation agitations…
1. Save the Tiger.
2. Save the Ganga.
3. Save the Congress.

I don’t feel sorry for Manmohan Singh.
He signed all the documents.
And for 10 years.
Tomorrow a policeman may allow crime to happen and claim innocence by same logic.

If it’s going to take to the streets for every problem it has, then Congress might as well set up camp on the streets of India 24X7 till 2019.

Motilal became Congress President in 1919 and formally founded the Nehru-Gandhi Dynasty.
Pappu will become Congress President by 2019 and formally end the Dynasty.

Manmohan: Congress is India’s soul.
Truth: Congress is India’s sole.
Puri tarah se ghis gaya hai. Replacement ki zaroorat hai.

You can’t make this stuff up…
The virtual dictator of the most corrupt party in India is doing a march to save democracy and there’s a poster with Vadra!

While addressing Lok Sabha…
I’d like to address this August House.
While addressing Congress strategy meet…
I’d like to address this Agusta House.

2014: Prevent Modi from coming to power.
2015: Prevent Modi’s achievements from being showcased.
2016: Prevent Supreme Leader from going to jail.
‪#‎Congress‬ ‪#‎Agusta‬ ‪#‎NH‬

Nehru ½ of Mahatma
Indira ⅓ of Nehru
Rajiv ¼ of Indira
Sonia ⅕ of Rajiv
Pappu ⅙ of Sonia
Priyanka 1/7 of Pappu
Vadra ⅛ of Priyanka

Just get Sibal to give a press conference and declare…
Zero loss in all scams!
End of story.

One poster had the Nehru Gandhi Vadra Dynasty.
Is it a march for democracy or march for monarchy?

Right now the party is debating who should be the losing Congress UP Chief Ministerial candidate in 2017.

For Congress leaders…
India = Congress = Dynasty.
So they feel that what they are doing is totally right.

We have a right to rule.
We have a right to be corrupt.
You don’t even have a right to question us.

Sonia-Pappu arrested temporarily so then can get a feel to see what it will feel like when it becomes permanent.

What is your strategy?
Congress: Ulta chor kotwaal ko daate 24X7 365 days a year.

Years as MP before being offered PM’s post…
Nehru: 0.
Indira: 2.
Rajiv: 3.
Sonia: 0.
Pappu most qualified.
He has been MP for 12 years already.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Sinking Congressi musings…

Congress money tanks were always flush when in Opposition.
For the first time taps in danger of running dry.

Congress: How could you dismiss Uttarakhand Government? This is murder of democracy!
Modi: Abhi to party shuru hui hai!
Ye toh bas shuruwaat hai.
Baad main na kahana kuch bhi.
Pahale hi de doon warning!

Shashi Tharoor…
Would be United Nations Secretary General.
To Minister of State.
To Kanhaiya’s spokesperson.
What a fall!

Go figure…
Student joins campus in non-BJP State.
Joins Communist politics, quits in frustration.
Commits suicide when Modi is PM.
Verdict: Modi’s fault!

Forget the Congress, President’s Rule has been implemented around 75 times just when the Nehru-Gandhi Dynasty was incharge.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Pappu ban gaya nationalist…


Congress releasing ad campaign titled…
Pappu Ban Gaya Nationalist.

Indira: Garibi Hatao.
Hat gayi garibi!
Rajiv: Hame dekhna hai…
Dekh liya!
Pappu: Nationalism is in my blood.
Ban gaya nationalist!

What is your blood group?
Pappu: N+.
Pappu: Nationalism Positive.
P.S. And it tolerates antibodies like anti-Nationalism.

#‎CongressMuktBharat‬: Modi.
‪#‎MSMMuktSM‬: Twitter.
‪#‎ArnabMuktMedia‬: MSM.

Bhala tera protest mera protest se bada kaise?
Size (of protest rally) doesn’t matter.
Protests. Protests against protests.

Congress party election campaign…
For 2014 elections: Massive PR.
For 2019 elections: Massive PRotests.

Everybody’s either outraging or outraging against those outraging.
Everybody’s either protesting or protesting against those protesting.

2002-12: Attacked 24X7.
Still won 3 elections.
2013-14: Attacked 24X7.
Still won big at LS polls.
2014-16: Attacked 24X7.
Still working like mad 24X7.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

For the first time ever, Sonia stands isolated…

Ever since Sonia Gandhi entered the Indian scene, she has directly or indirectly been in a position of great power. Take a look…

1968-77: Daughter-in-law of Prime Minister.

1977-80: Daughter-in-law of Leader of the Opposition.

1980-84: Daughter-in-law of Prime Minister.

1984-89: Wife of Prime Minister.

1989-91: Wife of Leader of the Opposition.

1991-98: Every Prime Minister wary that Sonia directly or indirectly can topple him.

1998-2004: Leader of Opposition.

2004-14: Controller of Prime Minister.

As you can see, it’s a continuous chain and for the first time it has been broken.

2004-16: Prime Minister not dependent on her and there isn’t even a Leader of Opposition in the Lok Sabha.

That’s why Parliament is being disrupted non-stop and Bills are not being passed so that the Prime Minister becomes dependent on Sonia and parity is restored.

That’s why the Supreme Court was approached for the Leader of the Opposition post even though there was a next to zero chance for success.Parity had to be restored.

The plan has been totally busted for it should have been…

2014-__: Mother of Prime Minister.

Mission 2019 is reaching a desperation stage in 2016 itself.

© Sunil Rajguru

How Congress slogans should actually change…

Then… and…

Garibi Hatao.
Congress Hatao.

Wipe every tear from every eye.
Wipe every Congress leader from every State.

Ho raha Bharat Nirman.
Ho raha Pappu Nirman.

Poori roti khayenge, Congress ko jitayenge.
Poora scam ka paisa khaayenge, desh ko dubaayenge.

Kattar soch nahin, yuva josh.
Kattar soch, nahin yuva josh.

Main nahih, hum.
Hum gaya tel lene, sirf main.

Vote for calf and cow,
Forget all others now,
Vote Congress.
Vote for cow slaughter,
Vote Congress.

Jai Jawan Jai Kisan.
OROP Jawan MNREGA Kisan.

Indira is India and India is Indira.
Sonia and Pappu are India and India is Sonia and Pappu.
(That doesn’t make any sense. Well, this party stopped making sense long back.)

Congress ka hath, Aam Aadmi ke saath
Congress ka hath, aam aadmi ko thappad.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

This is Pappu. Be like Pappu!

This is Pappu.
Pappu takes long vacation whenever he wants.
Pappu bunks work.
Pappu idles around in the work place.
Pappu keeps losing in cool in public.
Pappu generally enjoys life and doesn’t give a damn to anyone.
Be like Pappu.

This is Kejri.
Kejri sleeps on the road at midnight.
Kejri does dharna.
Kejri does nautanki.
Kejri does u-turns.
Kejri does no work and blames everything on others.
Kejri uses Twitter for trolling.
Like Pappu, Kejri generally enjoys life and doesn’t give a damn to anyone.
Be like Kejri.

This is Sonia.
Sonia strikes fear in the hearts of #AdarshLiberals.
Sonia strikes fear in the hearts of senior editors.
Sonia strikes fear in the hearts of most politicians.
Sonia strikes fear in the hearts of intellectuals.
Sonia strikes fear in the hearts of writers.
Sonia strikes fear in the hearts of most prominent Indians.
Be feared like Sonia.

This is Mamata.
Mamata doesn’t believe rapes are happening.
Mamata doesn’t believe in Malda.
Mamata doesn’t think the porous border is a threat.
Mamata doesn’t think there is any violence happening in her State.
Mamata thinks she is giving brilliant governance.
Be blissfully unaware like Mamata!

This is Lalu.
Lalu allows murder.
Lalu allows kidnapping.
Lalu allows theft.
Lalu allows Jungle Raj.
Lalu allows just about anything.
Be tolerant like Lalu.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Pappu-Kejri musings…

#StartUpPappu? I in 2004.
#StartUpPappu II in 2009.
#StartUpPappu III in 2014.
#StartUpPappu IV in 2019.
#StartUpPappu V in 2024.
#StartUpPappu VI in 2029.
…ad infinitum…ad nauseam…

#StartUpPappu? was started in 2004.
In 2016, it is still starting.

Everyone will get his or her 15 minutes of fame.
But I will get my 15 minutes of fame 15 million times.
—Sri Sri Kejri Baba.

Upgrade mobile. Downgrade State.
Mamata worse than Buddhadeb.
Akhilesh worse than Maya.
Kejri worse than Sheila.
Nitish’s new deputy worse than predecessor.

Rang De Nautanki.
#BlackInk #Drama

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

The truth about the Nehru-Gandhi Dynasty…

Jawaharlal Nehru…

9 ways in which Nehru was a bad pioneer…
April 13, 2015, Sify.com

Meet India’s four great dictators
November 15, 2014, Sify.com

Seven reasons why Nehru was a bad first PM
April 30, 2014, Sify.com

How Nehru cultivated the cult of the dictator
30 July, 2013, Sify.com

Rajiv Gandhi…

Why Rajiv Gandhi Was The Most Communal PM In India’s History
December 8, 2016, IndiaFacts.co.in

On the 4th-gen dynasty’s 40-year misrule…
January 27, 2015, Sify.com

Sonia Gandhi…

National Herald Case: Is this the end-game for Sonia Gandhi?
December 21, 2016, Sify.com

Of SoniaBhakts, PappuBhakts and KejriBhakts
July 13, 2015, Sify.com

6 court cases involving the Sonia-Rahul duo
July 25, 2014, Sify.com

National Herald case: The end of Sonia Gandhi?
June 29, 2014, Sify.com

Eight times when media was petrified of Sonia…
May 12, 2014, Sify.com

10 questions I’m dying to ask Sonia Gandhi
31 October, 2012

8 masterstrokes of Sonia Gandhi
02 July, 2012, Sify.com

Rahul Gandhi…

4-stage rocket Pappu relaunched yet again
April 21, 2015, Sify.com

Five reasons why Pappu will be a disastrous PM
April 26, 2014, Sify.com

Leadership SWOT analysis: Rahul Gandhi
March 24, 2014, Sify.com

8 great Pappu nautankis
February 5, 2014, Sify.com

5 fallouts of the Pappu interview
February 1, 2014, Sify.com

What Pappu actually said in his interview…
27 January, 2014, Sify.com

Son of the soil trumps shahezaada
01 November, 2013, Sify.com

Rahul Gandhi disappoints yet again
16 November, 2012

What is wrong with Rahul Gandhi?
5 November, 2012

Priyanka Vadra…

10 pieces of Vadra notoriety
November 3, 2014, Sify.com

7 urgent questions for Priyanka Vadra!
April 30, 2014, Sify.com

5 possible reasons why Priyanka isn’t contesting
April 28, 2014, Sify.com

And just who is Priyanka Vadra anyway?
April 24, 2014, Sify.com


Don’t blame Modi for Godhra if you are ready to spare Gandhis
October 28, 2015, DailyO.in

Is 2014 the year that the Congress party died?
December 22, 2014, Sify.com

2014: Fall of a dynasty and other lessons
June 1, 2014, Sify.com

A chaiwallah beats all the dynasties…
May 23, 2014, Sify.com

How Congress always crushed the media
February 25, 2014, Sify.com

6 mistakes of Mahatma Gandhi
15 November, 2013, Sify.com

30 rebels against the Nehru-Gandhi dynasty
06 November, 2013, Sify.com

7 leaders who could have shut out the dynasty
30 October, 2013, Sify.com

Give Cong a strong mandate & you’re in trouble!
25 February, 2013, Sify.com

The Nehru-Gandhi dynasty: Fated to rule India
23 January, 2013, Sify.com

Sonia then and now…


Saviour for party.
Only alternative for India.
Nehru-Gandhi dynasty rocks.
Indian bahu rules.
Allies flock for sharing power.

Son is her only hope.
Only alternative for Congressis.
National Herald scam case.
Italian passport hai kya?
Allies flock for Modi bashing.

© Sunil Rajguru

More #‎SoniaRahulHazirHo‬ #NationalHeraldScam musings…

If Pappu breaks traffic rule and cop fines him, he’ll disrupt Parliament.
Headline will be…
BJP-backed Delhi Police derails GST and reforms in India.

Herald a new dawn for National pride!

Congress most consistent party.
Arrogant in power.
Arrogant in Opposition.
Arrogant throwing people in jail.
Arrogant while going to jail.

Congress President ashamed by appearing in court.
Premier newspaper headline has snatches of … “Cong celebrates” “tears into Modi” and “vendetta”.
Welcome to La La Land!

If and when Sonia is convicted, Congress will demand a Bharat Ratna for her supreme struggle against vendetta and intolerance.

The party which threw thousands in jail without a trial is frothing at the mouth at just the beginning of a simple sessions court trial.

#‎Bail‬ ho ya ‪#‎Jail‬,
Congressi bolega ‪#‎Hail‬,
Aam junta bolega ‪#‎Fail‬,
Hai in the Congress coffin final ‪#‎Nail‬,
End of ‪#‎Tale‬.

Sad times.
Court summoning is a triumph against vendetta.
Bail is a triumph.
No matter what sordid deed you do, it’s a triumph.

If becoming an accused and appearing in court is so noble then I guess most Congress leaders won’t mind following that path in the years to come.

The four stages…
1. Indian National Congress (Freedom movement).
2. Indian National Congress (Political party).
3. Congress (Indira).
4. Congress (Sonia).

C,O,E—Reserved for future generations.

Instead of fighting for 2019, the Congress is still fuming over 2014.

Indira comeback vs Sonia comeback…
Then: Indira most popular.
Now: Modi most popular.
Then: Indira 153 Lok Sabha seats.
Now: Sonia 45 seats.
Then: Jail without case.
Now: Solid case first.

GST to unko hataana hi tha,
‪#‎NationalHerald‬ to sirf ek bahana hi tha.

Whether Pappu decides to go to jail or not will be decided solely on whether Tihar has TV with Chhotta Bheem or not.

“I am the law”…

1. Dredd.
2. Arnab.
3. Sonia.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru