#‎ReturnOfJungleRaj‬ in Bihar musings..

Bihar’s Top 3 industries by 2020…
1. Bootlegging industry.
2. Kidnapping industry.
3. Lootmaar industry.
‪#‎Lalu‬ ‪

2015: Jungle Raj returns to Bihar.
2016: Won’t even be able to drown your sorrows with drinks as prohibition arriving in Bihar.
‪#‎NitishKiJaiHo‬

BJP should make Manjhi Governor of Bihar.
Then it will become a land of Super Chief Ministers.
‪#‎Lalu‬ ‪#‎Rabri‬ ‪#‎LaluKeBete‬ ‪#‎MiffedMisa‬

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

#AdarshLiberals ki jai ho…

They are not fighting for Freedom of Speech.
They are fighting for Freedom to Continue Telling Their Lies.
‪#‎AdarshLiberals‬ ‪#‎AamirKhan‬

If you question my right to be intolerant, I’ll prove you to be intolerant and launch a high-profile campaign to defame you.
—‪#‎AdarshLiberal‬

Coming soon…
ISEX: Intolerance Stock Exchange.

In India, “Right to Freedom of Speech” and “Right to Malign Modi” are perfect synonyms.

Modi bashing should be declared a national sport.

The three magic words…
I tolerate you.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Modi government musings…

Prime Minister—Mann Ki Baat.
Suggestions…
Finance Minister—Dhan Ki Baat.
Defence Minister—Gun Ki Baat.
Sports Minister—Run Ki Baat.
Food Minister—Bun Ki Baat.

Modi—Best PM.
Prabhu—Best RM.
Gadkari—Best InfraM.
Goyal—Best PowerM.
Sushma—Best EAM.
Parrikar—Best DM.
Maybe not yet, but they are trying.

Piyush Goyal is the most powerful Power Minister in India’s history.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

John Lenon’s Imagine: Bihar remix version…

Please read to the tune of John Lennon’s Imagine

Imagine there’s no development,
It’s easy if you try,
No roads below us,
Above us no electricity poles (only sky).
Imagine all the people,
Suffering day after day…

Imagine there’s no law and order,
It isn’t hard to do,
Everything kill and die for,
And no governance too.
Imagine all the people,
Living life in pieces…

You may say I’m a rotten politician,
But I’m not the only one,
Every party is rushing to join us,
And the rotten political world will be as one.

Imagine no possessions,
I know you already can,
Nothing but greed and hunger,
A brotherhood of the Jungle Raj Man,
Imagine all the people,
Sharing all the loot…

You may say I’m a rotten politician,
But I’m not the only one,
Every party is rushing to join us,
And the rotten political world will be as one!

Original song: Imagine
Singer: John Lennon.
Year: 1971

(This spoof by Sunil Rajguru)

Mera Bharat Mahaan, Mera Be-Imaan Neta us-se bhi Mahaan…

The worst politician in India’s history is not attacked. (Sonia)

A nepotistic casteist convict who has zero governance and zero development is loved. (Lalu)

A Minister who builds an illegal telephone exchange in his house is ignored. (Maran)

A woman who builds statues in her honour is forgiven. (Mayawati)

A man who unleashes Jungle Raj in his State is admired. (Akhilesh)

But a man who transformed his State and is now trying to do the same to India and works 24X7 is attacked 24X7.

© Sunil Rajguru

Seven days of the Nehru-Gandhi Dynasty…

The beginning and end of the Nehru-Gandhi Dynasty…

On the first day he created Motilal.

On the second day he created Jawaharlal.

On the third day he created Indira.

On the fourth day he created Sanjay.

On the fifth day he created Rajiv.

On the sixth day he created Sonia.

On the seventh day he created Pappu and rested permanently after that.

This version by Sunil Rajguru

#Intolerant Sonia musings…

Motilal conceived the Constitution.
Nehru created it.
Indira nurtured it.
Rajiv strengthened it.
Baaki sab gaye tel lene.

When you run out of arguments…
Tu Aryan hai!
Tune Constitution nahin banaya!
Tu jaanta nahin meri sasuma kaun thi!

Q: Help, I’m doing a project on media houses attacking Modi.
A: Pick up any media house.
Q: Help, I’m doing a project on media houses attacking Sonia.
A: Oh, that’s fiction!

Christianity under attack?
‪#‎Fail‬
Intolerance rising?
#Fail
Next #Fail…
Constitution under attack.

Best media managers…
Gold Medal = Sonia Gandhi.
Silver Medal = Arun Jaitley.
Bronze Medal = Lalu Prasad Yadav.
Consolation Prize = Arvind Kejriwal.

Congress LS MPs: 45.
More awards returned.
More scams done.
More Parliament disruptions.
But Pappu has a lower IQ than that.

Hitler lost the 2014 elections.
Goebbels is still going strong and eyeing 2019.

Rumours about Congress tend to be true.
Media tries to keep quiet even after confirmed.
Rumours about Modi tend to be false.
Media goes ballistic at first sniff.

Kharge’s wisdom…
An Italian born who refused Indian citizenship as long as she could is the upholder of the Indian Constitution.
Anyone else amending it should face bloodshed (‪#‎Raktpath‬).

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Raj karega #AdarshLiberal…

#‎AdarshLiberals‬ abuse and attack their opponents viciously and if someone gives them back online they are called Trolls and if someone counters them in the offline world then it’s called an attack on their freedom of speech.

200 million citizens can vote for NDA and bring Modi to power.
Just 200 ‪#‎AdarshLiberals‬ can hold the whole nation to ransom with their hate.

‪#‎AdarshLiberals‬ ke liye ‪#‎AccheDin‬ 1947 main hi aaye the.
‪#‎BureDin‬ to 2014 se chaalu hue.

#‎AdarshLiberal‬: There is great intolerance in India!
Question: But don’t you think…
#AdarshLiberal: Shut up! We won’t tolerate any other view point!

Heads I win, tails you lose…
Celebrity screams intolerance.
Silence.
See everyone agrees.
Protests.
See protests prove his point!

India today…
Stop talking rubbish.
Freedom of speech!
OK, talk rubbish, I won’t listen.
Intolerance!

2013: Intolerance Begins.
2014: The Dark Intolerance.
2015: The Dark Intolerance Rises.

India main sab ek doosre ko gaali de rahe hain.
Fir bol rahe Freedom of Speech nahin hain.
Jo sabse jyaada gaali de rahe hai, intolerance chilla rahe hain.

Incredible India will promote free return tickets for tourists.
Incredibly Intolerant India will promote free one way tickets for citizens out of India

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

India-South Africa Nagpur Test musings…

The level of intolerance against South African batsmen shown by Indian spinners has reached new depths.

South Africa requires 310 runs in 1704 balls (284 overs) and they’re still not the favourites!
Welcome to Test cricket!

Strange team South Africa.
Hasn’t lost a Test series abroad in 9 years.
Hasn’t won a Test series at home against Australia in 45 years!

Even though it’s the Third Test, today is the 5th day of the India-South Africa Test series.

Nagpur opens with a 5th day 3rd session pitch on the 1st day 1st session!

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

The Intolerance nautanki rages on…

The biggest victim of intolerance is Modi.
These jokers will not tolerate him even if he wins 2019.

असहिष्णुता ke pujari the Jawaharlal.
Kiya unke chamcho ne boora haal.
Failaya hai Modi ke khilaaf ek zabardast jaal.
Aur chalega nautanki chaar saal.

What if…
“I have already left the country due to rising intolerance.”
—‪#‎BritishBuddhu‬

1942: ‪#‎QuitIndiaMovement‬
2014-15: ‪#‎JustTalkOfQuittingIndiaMovement‬

Which other country tolerates the likes of Lalu, Mulayam, Pappu, Sonia, Kejri along with corruption, incompetence and general inefficiency?

The biggest right in India is not FoS or FoE but Freedom to do Nautanki.
Sab news channels pe 24X7 nautanki karte rahate hai.
Asli news gayi tel lene.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

How India is a very very very intolerant country under Modi…

Intolerance: Unwillingness or refusal to tolerate or respect opinions or beliefs contrary to one’s own.

Examples in present tense…
1. Sonia refuses to tolerate or respect opinions or beliefs contrary to her own.
2. Kejri refuses to tolerate or respect opinions or beliefs contrary to his own.
3. Mamata refuses to tolerate or respect opinions or beliefs contrary to her own.
4. Mulayam refuses to tolerate or respect opinions or beliefs contrary to his own.

Examples in past tense…
1. Indira refused to tolerate or respect opinions or beliefs contrary to her own.
2. Nehru refused to tolerate or respect opinions or beliefs contrary to his own.
3. Rajiv refused to tolerate or respect opinions or beliefs contrary to his own.

Usages…
1. Modi is intolerant.
2. India is intolerant under Modi.
3. On May 16, 2014, this country suddenly became intolerant.

Irony alert…
The most intolerant people in the country who are blind followers of Nehru, Indira, Sonia etc who cannot tolerate Hindu culture, India’s pluralism, the BJP or Modi are screaming “Intolerance” from rooftops.

© Sunil Rajguru

The intolerance files continue…

Arabpatis living in multi-crore houses travelling in private jets and staying in seven-star hotels crying intolerance.
Ye bhi din dekhne baaki the.
#AamirKhan

A foreign born person who rules her party with an iron fist and whose regime destroyed India is the most tolerant person in India’s history.
#Sonia

1960s: Violence begins in West Bengal.
1990s: Jungle Raj begins in Bihar.
1990s: Terrorism begins in J&K.
2015: Intolerance begins in India.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru