Raj karega #BritishBuddhu…

Live in India.
Work in UK.
Vacation in Spain.
Holiday in Bangkok.
Ancestors from Italy.
‪#‎BritishBuddhu‬ = ‪#‎GlobalCitizen‬

Modi—Make in India!
Pappu—Ja be! I’ll…
Make in UK.
Make in Thailand.
Make in Spain.
Make in Italy.

Mera sair sapata hai Thai,
Ye nagarikta Englishtani,
Sar main laal buddhi Roosi,
Fir bhi dil hai Hindustani!

1989 Indian Express cartoon on Rajiv was titled…
How many countries can a Prime Minister have?
2015 version…
How many countries can a Prime Ministerial candidate have?

Pre-Mahatma Gandhi era…
Congress leaders launch Swadeshi movement.
Post-Mahatma Gandhi era…
Pappu launches Videshi movement.

If we had UPA3, then the Congress would simply have passed the Double citizenship act and all Congressis would have rushed for British passport.

Q: Please spell Rahul Gandhi.
Swamy: RahUKl GandhItaly!

Backops India was registered in 2002.
Now both Congress and BJP don’t want to talk about 2002!

India is Indira. Indira is India.
Pappu is Prithvi. Prithvi is Pappu.
Stop this UK-Thailand-Spain-Italy nonsense!

1 solid scam against the Nehru-Gandhi Dynasty will get 1/1000th the coverage of a stupid statement made by some random Sangh Pariwar hothead.

Angrez Bharat chhodo!
The slogan that has short circuited Congress leaders.
Because Pappu is an Angrez from Bharat!

Pappu and Lalu will sing after Bihar victory and UK revelations…
Hum sab Britishwa hai.

In UK, he will be known as Lord Pappu the Commoner.

BJP sees Congress getting everything on platter and gets angry.
But when it gets something on a platter, it walks away.

Hum Angrezo ke zamaane ke politician hai, ha ha!
‪#‎BritishBuddhu‬

So what?
Even Mahatma Gandhi and Jawaharlal Nehru were once subjects of both India and the British Empire!

After close to 70 years of Independence, Congrez have become the new Angrez.
#BritishBuddhu

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Modi ka naam lete rahenge marte dam tak…

Next round of Assembly elections in April-May 2016.
Till then India will be very tolerant.
It could suddenly turn Fascist in March 2016.

Most of those who use the term ‪#‎ModiBhakt‬ are…
‪#‎SoniaBhakts‬
‪#‎KejriBhakts‬
‪#‎LaluBhakts‬
‪#‎PappuBhakts‬
‪#‎NehruBhakts‬
…in that order.

Sonia…
1991: Handed PMship on a platter.
1998: Handed Cong presidency on a platter.
2004: Handed power on a platter.
2009: Handed dictatorship on a platter.
Modi…
Will struggle all his life.

BJP PM is working.
BJP Cabinet Ministers are working.
BJP CMs are working.
BJP leaders are talking shit.
BJP spokesmen are out of their depth.
Media is enjoying.

British media gives Modi hostile reception.
British people, Prime Minister and Queen gives Modi greatest reception ever for an Indian Prime Minister.
Which matters more?
‪#‎ModiInUK‬

Indian politicians…
Obama, please Modi ko ban karo!
UN Secretary General, please intolerance ka kuch karo!
Nawaz Sharif, please Modi ko hatao!

Modi kept the two giants of the Indian Right—Subramanian Swamy and Arun Shourie—out of the Cabinet.
You can’t win a media/communication war like that.

In 2014 had Subramanian Swamy been made the Home Minister and Arun Shourie the Finance Minister, things would have moved in fast forward.

Modi’s 5 biggest achievements so far…
‪#‎ToiletRevolution‬
‪#‎EnergyPush‬
‪#‎BlockbusterForeignPolicy‬
‪#‎OROP‬
‪#‎StreamlinedBureaucracy‬
Haters will scream he’s done nothing all the way till 2019.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

#AdarshLiberals and Modi…

The man who has been tolerating millions of pieces of abuse, slander, lies, false allegations and smear campaigns for 13 long years is called intolerant!

Modi gets 10 successive successes.
‪#‎AdarshLiberals‬ wait for failure and scream about that failure 24X7 through his next 10 successes.

Modi 99% good and 1% bad.
So focus 100% on the 1%!
Sonia 0% good and 100% bad.
So… ummm… errr… let’s not focus on her at all!
‪#‎AdarshLiberal‬

Biggest mass murderers of 20th century…
1. Mao.
2. Stalin.
3. Hitler.
Biggest riots under…
1. Nehru (1947).
2. Rajiv (1984).
3. Indira (Nellie).
‪#‎AdarshLiberals‬ worship 5/6 of above!

Modi lives in a world where he’s respected by world leaders, in charge of the Government and launching scheme upon scheme.
In the ‪#‎AdarshLiberal‬ world he’s mud.
Never the twain shall meet.

Modi speaks tons through speeches, Twitter, Mann ki Baat etc.
Then what is this silence business?
He doesn’t say what ‪#‎AdarshLiberals‬ want to hear.

Edwin Lutyens designed Lutyens’ Delhi.
Lutyens’ Delhi designed Loot-in India.

Jungle Raj under Lalu is any day preferable over Development under Modi.
Anarchy under Kejri is any day preferable over Development under Modi.
Destruction under Mamata is any day preferable over Development under Modi.
Misrule under Siddaramiah is any day preferable over Development under Modi.
‪#‎AdarshLiberals‬

Modi is an overperformer in…
Building school toilets.
Energy sector.
Foreign policy.
‪#‎OROP‬
Infrastructure project starts.
Boosting our borders.
Tightening bureaucracy.
Jan Dhan Yojana.

Fir bhi log gaali pe gaale de rahe.
Jo kaam nahin karta usko chhod dete hai.
Jo desh ko bigaad rahe hain unki taarif karte hai. (Akhilesh, Mamata, Kejri etc)
Jo kaam karte hain sab unhi pe toot padte hai.

#‎AdarshLiberals‬ still hoping Advani will be BJP’s Prime Ministerial candidate in 2019 when he’ll be 91.

Evolution of Advani…
1990s: Super communal.
2000s: Communal.
2013: Secular.
2015: Super secular.
‪#‎AdarshLiberals‬

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

#ParisAttacks musings…

IS = Islamic State.
WAS = Was A State.
How long from IS to WAS?
‪#‎ISIS‬ ‪#‎ParisAttacks‬

1939—Let’s get rid of Hitler.
1950s—Let’s get rid of Communism.
1990s—Let’s get rid of Al-Qaeda.
2015—Let’s get rid of Islamic State.

#‎AdarshLiberal‬: Anonymous Twitter troll (who could be a Congressi in disguise) is more dangerous than an actual terrorist with an AK-47.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Governance in this country going to the dogs…

Governance crashing in non-NDA States…
‪#‎WB‬ ‪#‎UP‬ ‪#‎Bihar‬ ‪#‎Karnataka‬
Governance rising in NDA States…
‪#‎AndhraPradesh‬ ‪#‎Rajasthan‬ ‪#‎MadhyaPradesh‬
Verdict: Intolerance rising due to Modi.

The Threequel…
I—1990-97: Lalu Laayo Jungle Raj.
II—1997-2005: Rabri Laayo Lalu Ka Jungle Raj.
I—2015-20: Nitish Laayo Lalu Ka Jungle Raj.

Lalu—The man who destroyed Bihar.
Nitish—The man who rebuilt Bihar and then decided to destroy it soon after.

What if…
After Lalu, Akhilesh and Mamata get re-elected.
By 2019, the troika have ruined their States so badly that India again turns to Modi.

Uneven wheels on Bihar’s car =
One of Bihar’s greatest Chief Ministers
+ India’s worst Chief Minister.

Every 20 years India produces a “worst” politician…
1970s: Lalu.
1990s: Sonia.
2010s: Kejri.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Random Bollywood musings…

Salman Khan should be brand ambassador for Baba Ramdev.
Then we’d get…
Prem Patan(jali) Noodles Khayo.
‪#‎PRDP‬ ‪#‎Bhai‬

Many film critics rate stars’ films between 1 and 5 stars but superstars’ films between 4 and 5 stars.
So for superstars…
Shitty film = 4*.
OK film = 4.5*.
Good/great film = 5*.
(Really shitty film = 3.5*)

I boosted Shahrukh Khan’s career!
—Yash Chopra.
I boosted SRK & Kajol’s career!
—Aditya Chopra.
I boosted Tanishaa’s career!
—Uday Chopra.
I couldn’t even boost Uday’s career!
—Priyanka Chopra.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru