Rohit—Chalo last innings main 50 banaya.
Agle tour main place pukka.
Abhi wicket fekta hu.
In foreign Tests, Indian bowlers hunt an animal that has a very small body and a very long tail.
How to change the name of Aurangzeb Road.
Just call the process Rajiv Gandhi Naam Badlo Yojana and proceed.
Laloo: The 1st.
Kejri: Laloo the 2nd.
Hardik: Laloo the 3rd.
1996: Laloo wants to be PM.
1999: Sonia wants to be PM.
2014: Nitish wants to be PM.
2015: Chalo milke current PM par gussa nikaalte hai.
The Web is lovely, dark, and deep,
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I surf,
And miles to go before I surf…
…said no-one ever!
Media coverage of Jessica + Arushi + Sheena murders
is greater than
lakhs of other murders + farmer suicides + all rural crimes + …
Newton’s third law and the Congress party…
For every sonrise, there is an equal and opposite sunset.
Sonrise—Pappu. Sunset—Lok Sabha.
Sonrise— Jyotiraditya. Sunset—Madhya Pradesh.
Sonrise— Sachin Pilot. Sunset—Rajasthan.
BJP Busted in Mahanagara Palike.
Bruhat Bengaluru Modiwavecontinues Palike
Farewell (last Test) for Sangakkara.
Welcome (first Test victory) for captain Kohli.
Team India composition…
1. Test all-rounder means “half-batsman + quarter bowler” or “half-bowler + quarter batsman”.
2. 5-bowling attack means 5th bowler is a mediocre fill-in-the-blanks one.
BJP—Aadhar to Aadhar.
Supreme Court—No aadhar to aadhar to Aadhar!
Smoking and drinking is not OK, so warning appears.
Killing and violence is OK as no warning appears.
In Maharashtra a party which got 54 seats refused to accept a 119-seat offer.
It ended up with 122.
In Bihar a party which got 115 seats has accepted a 100-seat offer.
You need to fight fire with fire.
Kejri—How true! I’m using corrupt Laloo to fight corruption.
Rank of New Delhi among States/UTs by population = 30th.
Rank of Kejri’s media importance among 31 CMs = 1st.
Mahatma Gandhi passed Nehru and his descendants passed for life.
But Modi has to clear some vague media test every 3 months.
Very soon someone is going to make a Bollywood film on all this FTII nautanki.
For the first time ever, 100% of the crowd was cheering for India in a UAE cricket stadium.
Modi is currently trying to win over Kerala’s biggest constituency.
Ultimate goal to sell…
A rich film superstar selling fairness cream.
An MP selling water purifiers.
A Bharat Ratna selling everything under the sun.
Schrodinger’s favourite food = Maggi Noodles.
Banned/unbanned, leaded/leaded, healthy/unhealthy—all at the same time!
A fair distribution of Bihar Assembly seats would have been…
Nitish to Laloo: Aaadhe idhar (JDU), aadhe udhar (RJD) aur baaki Congress ke saath!
Last time Congress got 4/243 seats.
At the same ratio they will get 0.66 seats this time as they are contesting 40.
After winning PM’s post, Gujarat thrice, MP, Chhattisgarh, Rajasthan, Haryana, J&K, Maharashtra… Modi’s biggest test is Bihar. If he loses, it’s a referendum and he should resign.
India-Lanka bhai bhai Episode 8734.
Turn Delhi into Kolkata.
Never thought Australia would ever be reduced to a one man (Steve Smith) team.
If Smith falls then so does Australia.
COOKed in one session. FINNished. WOOD-be’s now.
Stage 1—Do street agitation.
Stage 2—Get top party post.
Stage 3—Gain power.
Stage 1—Gain power.
Stage 2—Get top party post.
Stage 3—Do street agitation.
Hum to doobenge hi doobenge, par saath main tumhe bhi le jaayenge sanam.
—Congress to BJP.
Pakistan has Schrodinger’s Children.
They can be kids and adults at the same time.
It’s called Aadhar because it requires loads of aadhar from the Indian government just to stay afloat.
Nobody saw Osama and Mullah Omar die.
Nobody saw Dawood in Pakistan.
Nobody saw Yakub’s role in 1993 blasts.
There aren’t two but in fact three types of Taliban…
1. Bad Taliban.
2. Worse Taliban.
3. Worst Taliban.
These versions by Sunil Rajguru