The more the pollsters and experts get it wrong, the more money they make…

In 2002, most polls and experts said Modi would lose. He won.

In 2004, most polls and experts said the NDA would win. It lost.

In 2007, most polls and experts said Modi would lose. He won.

In 2009, most polls and experts said Congress wouldn’t cross 200. It did.

In 2012, most polls and experts said UP Assembly would be hung, but SP stormed to power.

In 2014, most polls and experts said BJP wouldn’t cross 272. It did.

In 2015 no poll predicted 67/70 for the AAP in Delhi.

In 2015 for Bihar, one poll showed an NDA landslide, another a Mahagatbandhan landslide, another a hung Assembly and one even gave a range that included both a Modi and Nitish win along with a hung House rendering all the polls a joke!

In 2015, most polls and experts said Brexit couldn’t happen. It did.

In 2016, most polls and experts said Trump would lose. He won.

Now that polls have been announced in Uttar Pradesh, Punjab, Uttarakhand, Goa and Manipur, get ready to have these same pollsters and experts give us major arrogant gyan again all the while making tonnes of money. They will move on seamlessly to their next prediction with zero accountability if they are proved totally wrong.

Sad fact of life: The more the pollsters and experts get it wrong, the more money they make.

(And even if they are right this time, it really doesn’t change their overall abysmal error rate for important elections.)

© Sunil Rajguru

Trump haters still living in denial…

Hollywood stars and celebrities have decided to live in a fictional alternate reality where Hillary is President, Obama is Batman and Trump is Bane.

It’s possible that both Trump and Modi will complete their second terms around 2024.
By then Liberal-Left meltdown will be total.

If Bill Clinton wasn’t such a sexual predator and Hillary had not been part of a dynastic succession, then the DC women’s march would’ve been fantastic.

If you’re free to attack someone 24X7, he’s probably not a Hitler.
If you keep beating up his supporters, you’re probably the Nazis.

The very fact that the media attacks Trump-Modi 24X7 and is petrified of Hillary-Sonia lays bare the naked truth behind all the lies

Modi and Trump have their differences.
But their haters are twins separated at birth.

Trump supporters expect something of him.
Trump haters expect him to act “normal”.
No coconuts for guessing who he’ll please.
Latter’s hysteria will go on.

1989-91: Communism physically finished off.
2014-16: Communism spiritually finished off.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Raj karenge Pappu-Pappini…

From before 2004 we have been hearing that Priyanka will campaign for Congress and do wonders for them.
Pappu-Pappini are forever young, forever hopeless.

An average 21-year-old Indian has more achievements than Priyanka Vadra.
But still the media goes batshit crazy every time she’s rumoured to campaign.

Yesterday.
Akhilesh has a corrupt lawless cycle!
Today.
Can you give me a lift on that cycle?
#Pappu

Rajiv: The last dynastic Prime Minister. (1989)
Sonia: The last dynastic kingmaker. (2014)
Pappu: The last would be dynastic Prime Minister.
Pappini: Beyond hope, but they’ll still push her.

If there’s anyone with lesser achievements than Pappu, it’s Priyanka “Pappini” Vadra.
Media always dying to promote her and give her credit.
#UPPolls

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

They’ll keep attacking Trump and make him more powerful…

trump-2171739_640Go figure.
Trump/Modi haters abuse 24X7.
Then call Trump/Modi supporters abusive.

America is not getting divided.
The Republicans are taking over.
The Democrats are getting decimated.
Latter winning protests.
Former winning elections.

Attacks got Trump publicity.
Attacks got him sympathy.
Attacks continued and he got nominated.
More attacks and he won.
And they’re still attacking him!

If Modi gets re-elected in 2019 and Trump in 2020, then many liberal heads will explode by 2021.

Had the media fully backed McCain, he would have won.
Had the media fully backed Hillary, she would have…
Media trashed Trump and they expect him to kowtow to them?

Trump Haters attack him no matter what.
So Trump supporters back him no matter what.
Real issues get obfuscated.
Trump wins 2020.
(For India, replace Trump with Modi and 2020 with 2019)

Short.
Honest.
Targeted.
No bullshit.
Trump’s #Inauguration speech.

#PresidentTrump
Get used to it for 4 years.
Maybe even 8 years.
Liberal-intellectual-media denial and protests will only make it worse.
#Inauguration

No longer cool…
Liberalism.
Leftism.
Globalization.
Climate Change.
Anti-oil lobbies.
Mainstream media.
California.
#Trump #Inauguration

Any human being who fights against great odds and still triumphs has a crack at doing absolutely anything.
#Trump #Inauguration

Trump has already achieved the impossible by becoming US President.
So now becoming a great one will be relatively easier.
#Inauguration

Can’t compete. Did.
Can’t get nominated. Did.
Can’t win. Did.
Now they say he won’t be a great President. So I guess he has a great chance!

A 70-year-old man who the media, intellectuals and liberals told us would never ever be US President gets his first government job.
#Inauguration

When it’s much hotter, they scream—Global Warming!
When it’s much colder, they scream—Climate Change!
When the weather is normal, they scream—Will you just wait for something to happen and do nothing till it’s too late?
You just couldn’t get the better of environmentalists…
…but now their detractors have just been handed the Trump card.

The media worshipped Obama for 8 years.
Now they’ll attack Trump for 4 years.
(Probably 8 as their attacks make him stronger.)

Career spans 40 glorious years.
Gets lifetime achievement award.
Uses forum to deliver millionth lame attack on Trump.
#MerylStreep

Hollywood stars hate Trump.
Silicon Valley czars hate Trump.
Liberals hate Trump.
Intellectuals hate Trump.
Mainstream media hates Trump.
Yawn! What’s new?
#MerylStreep

Hillary is the worst candidate ever and Trump is the worst ever.
Brexit is the worst and best thing ever.
Modi is the worst and best PM ever.
We all live in grand glorious bubbles.

Totally disruptive elections…
2014: India.
2016: USA, UK.
2017: Germany, France, Netherlands.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

The sad Obama legacy finally ends…

Stalin gave himself medals.
Nehru gave himself Bharat Ratna.
Obama gives himself Distinguished Public Service Medal.
All Communists are the same.

Obama’s slogan post Presidency…
Make Obama Great Again.
For Obama it’s always been about Obama, nothing else.

No President ever spoke this grand for 8 years straight, got so much global love and did so little in the end.

If Russians hacked elections—it’s an Obama security breach.
If they didn’t hack, then he’s lying.
Either way it makes him look bad and as usual he’s still taking the moral high ground.

The only thing Putin seems to have hacked is the collective IQs of Obama, Hillary and the Democrats.

Democrats-Hillary leaked information like a sieve and it was a virtual free for all.
Now Obama plays the good ole Indian allegation trick: The foreign hand!

Liberals.
Intellectuals.
Media.
Hillary.
Sanders.
Obama.
They’ve all legitimized violence against Trump.
#DisruptJ20 #Inauguration

Secretary of Defense gives prize to President.
President gives prize to Vice President.

Republicans believe in the Republic.
But I am not sure if the Democrats believe in Democracy.
#Inauguration boycotts and violent protests.

Hillary supporters are still in denial.
Their slogan is…
Make America Hate Again.
#Trump #Inauguration

Meryl Streep will now act in a Sci Fi film playing a Hillary Clinton who actually won in a parallel universe. Feel good X 100.

Sinking media musings…

Julian Assange alone has more credibility than CNN, New York Times, Washington Post, BBC, Guardian, Economist… put together.

October-November: Hillary had a meltdown.
December-January: Obama having a meltdown.
American media: Trump having a meltdown!

Kejri wanted to be Prime Minister but settled for Delhi Chief Minister.
Hillary wanted to be President but supporters want her to settle for New York Mayor.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Mamata the Destroyer

Both Obama and Trump treat Hinduism with more respect than Mamata.

Mamata turning West Bengal into West Bangladesh.

Madam, stop this drama!
Mamata: Hey Rong! You’re wrong! It’s dronga!
#ReplaceRamWithRong

Bengal…
1905-Partition.
1943-Famine.
1967-Naxalism.
1971-Refugees.
1977-CPM.
2011-Mamata.

Sonia ruined India.
Lalu ruined Bihar.
Mamata ruined West Bengal.
Mulayam ruined UP.
Kejri ruining Delhi.
Who cares?

“Advani for Prime Minister” is a persistent offline meme which just refuses to go away.
#MamataBanerjee

Didiji wants Dadaji to be Prime Minister because she is having a Prime Meltdown.
#DeMonetization

Total law and order breakdown in Bihar, UP and WB is not important because they are ruled by Modi Haters.
Citizens can suffer, liberals don’t care.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Pappu will be Pappu no matter what

2013…
Phata Poster Nikhla Hero.
2017…
Phata Kurta Nikhla Pappu.

Modi Kurta.
Phata Kurta.
Former made his own destiny.
Latter got everything on platter and still tore it up.

Pappu tore an expensive kurta with expensive scissors on advice of expensive consultants at expensive rally to prove that he is poor.

Pappu will retire only in 2019 when he gives Modi a second term and totally destroys the Congress by then.

Half-way through Modi’s term…
Pappu still Congress hope.
Kejri still doing nautanki.
Nitish-Lalu tussle, Mulayam-Akhilesh fight, Mamata ruining WB.
#Mission2019 bright.

Charles is his inspiration.
At 68 he’s still a Prince to the Queen.
Pappu is just 46 and a Prince to Queen Sonia.

April 1: Pappu Diwas.
Mother’s Day: Pappu’s favourite diwas.
(The only person on Earth who has faith in him)

Congress loves the minorities so much that it itself has become a political minority.

The CongRace has been lost.
Pappu came last.

Kejri. Nitish. Mamata.
Kahi pe nigaahen (CM ki kursi) kahi pe nishaana (PM ki kursi).
Pappu: Na nigaahen na nishaana, bas ghoomta hua parwana.

Looks like we will be discussing UPA scams even during the 2019 general elections.

1947—Netaji kicked the British out.
1991—Rao kicked the economic Communists out.
2014—Modi kicked the Congress out.
Nehru-Gandhi who?

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Kejri baba will do everything but governance

Do we need our IIT graduates to sell detergents?
—Pranab Mukherjee.
No, we need them to do non-stop dharna, anarchy and nautanki!
—AAP.

If all the elections were held simultaneously, Kejri would be a CM candidate for 29 states and also PM candidate.

AAP planning 29 clones of Kejri for 29 CMs. Original will eventually become PM.

Odd day Delhi CM.
Even day Punjab CM.
Delhi-Chandigarh flight just 1 hour.

Garbage Chief Minister.
Garbage party.
Garbage politics.
Garbage city.

Raasto se karwa tak,
Is zamee se aasma tak,
Mai hi mai hu mai hi mai hu,
Doosra koi nahi,
Mujhko dekhoge jaha tak,
Mujhko paoge waha tak!
#KejriThemeSong

Kejri during 2020 Delhi elections…
I successfully blamed Modi for all of Delhi’s problems from 2015-20.
Vote for me and I’ll do the same for 2020-25!

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

You never know which way Sidhu will turn…

If Sidhu rejoins the BJP he will merely say that he was in the RSS in his past life.

In Pappu party nobody can take decisions but Pappu.
Sidhu: I quit BJP because I couldn’t take decisions.
(At heart always a comedian)

From BJP Rajya Sabha MP.
To potential AAP Punjab CM.
To Pappu’s assistant in Punjab.
#Sidhu

You never know which way Sidhu will turn

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

2000? Or 2016?

In 2000, a Republican lost the popular vote but still won the US Presidency, the Left liberals were frothing at the mouth at a “Hindu Right-wing government”, only a female could get an Olympic medal for India, Sonia Gandhi was Congress President, Congress talked of “intolerance” of the RSS and ruling government, Lalu Prasad Yadav was ruining Bihar, a film of Aditya Chopra was released, a Castro was ruling Cuba, Salman Khan was romancing young heroines, a Kim Jong was ruling North Korea, N Chandrababu Naidu was Andhra Pradesh Chief Minister, Naveen Patnaik was Orissa Chief Minister, Manik Sarkar was Tripura Chief Minister, Parkash Singh Badal was Punjab Chief Minister, a Pope apologized for the Roman Catholic Church, Vlamidir Putin was ruling Russia, Ram Jethmalani was kicking up a ruckus, a film called Sultaan was released along with 3 Akshay Kumar flicks while SRK had a mixed year, Leander Paes-Mahesh Bhupathi drew a blank at the Olympics, the Indian hockey team failed to make it to the semis of the Olympics …
Sounds familiar???

Obama goes out with a stink…

2016—The year when the US President was trying to embrace Communism and the Russian President was trying to push Capitalism.

Obama thinks he’s destroying Trump with his late blitzkrieg.
But he’s destroying the Democrats and going out as a graceless fool.
#LameDuck

If a lame duck runs too fast, its bad leg will not get better, but its good leg will go too.
#Obama

8 years of Obama have left the Democrats at their weakest since 1828 and the Republicans at their strongest since 1854.
But Obama’s a great guy!

2010s: The decade everything liberals did backfired.
#Modi #Brexit #Trump
Now Obama banging the final nail in the coffin with his lame duck hyperactivity.

Obama has less than 4 weeks to sabotage Trump’s Presidency.
But Trump has 4 years to totally undo Obama’s legacy.

Obama is attacking America’s friends and strengthening America’s enemies in a desperate attempt to defeat Trump 2017 and beyond.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Yadav versus Yadav musings…

It doesn’t matter who wins the Mulayam versus Akhilesh battle.
Both are equally bad rulers for Uttar Pradesh.

The political dynasty does not teach you governance, development or great ideas for the nation.
It teaches only one lesson spectacularly.
“How to cling to power”.

Kya idea hai sirjee!
No development in Uttar Pradesh in last 5 years.
Now focus will be on split and secularism instead of development.

Actual law and order breakdown in Bihar.
Actual riots in West Bengal.
Actual governance breakdown in Uttar Pradesh.
#Demonetization woes were far tame in comparison.

The Bicycle should be split.
Mulayam party election symbol should be Big Unicycle.
Akhilesh party election symbol should be Small Unicycle.

Pre-split status…
UP MahaMahagatbandhan seat distribution…
Out of 403 seats, Mulayam will get 403, Akhilesh another 403, Pappu 100 and others 50.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru