Batsmen go crazy musings…

West Indians all…
Highest Test score: Lara—West Indian.
Highest ODI score: Rohit—(West) Indian. (Mumbai)
Highest IPL score: Gayle—West Indian.
Highest First Class score: Lara—West Indian.

With West Indies it’s either Gayle or Ghayal.
‪#‎SAVsWI‬ ‪#‎CWC2015‬

South Africa ne Indians ka badla West Indians pe nikaala.
‪#‎SAVsWI‬ ‪#‎408for5‬

According to the Theory of Relativity, Marlon Samuels 133 off 156 is one of the slowest ODI innings of all time.
‪#‎GayleStorm‬ ‪#‎Gayle215‬ ‪#‎ZimVsWI‬

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Latest political musings…

The RSS…
Making statements since 27-09-1925.
Ignored since 15-08-1947.
24X7 media coverage since 16-05-2014.

Bengal War I—CPM beats Congress.
Bengal War II—Trinamool beats CPM.
Bengal War III—BJP versus Trinamool (Result in 2016).
Beaten in all wars—People of West Bengal.

Congress: NDA repackaging UPA policies.
Means…
If you say NDA is bad, then UPA was also bad.
If you say UPA was good, then NDA is also good.

Indira and Sonia Gandhi became Congress President after exactly Zero years’ experience as MP.
That way Pappu has been MP for 10 years.

Congress leaders trying to convince people that Pappu is taking Make in India seriously.
“He’s holidaying in Uttarakhand and not Thailand!”

Now showing in 2015…
Return of the CM.
‪#‎ArvindKejriwal‬
‪#‎NitishKumar‬
‪#‎MuftiMohammadSayeed‬
Somehow hoping…
‪#‎Jayalalithaa‬

Congress worker: Actually Pappu went on leave in 2004.
We are wondering whether he’ll ever come back.
‪#‎WhereIsRahul‬

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

The Let’s give each other the Bharat Ratna Game…

The “You scratch my back, I scratch yours” troika of founding fathers…

In 1954, Jawaharlal Nehru recommended that Sarvepalli Radhakrishnan get the Bharat Ratna and Rajendra Prasad conferred it to him.

In 1955, Jawaharlal Nehru recommended that Jawaharlal Nehru get the Bharat Ratna and Rajendra Prasad conferred it to him.

In 1962, Jawaharlal Nehru recommended that Rajendra Prasad get the Bharat Ratna and Sarvepalli Radhakrishnan conferred it to him.

Like father like daughter…

In 1971, Indira Gandhi recommended that Indira Gandhi get the Bharat Ratna and VV Giri conferred it to her.

In 1975, Indira Gandhi recommended that VV Giri get the Bharat Ratna and VV Giri’s successor conferred it to him.

© Sunil Rajguru

When Pappu went on long leave…

Sonia will go on earned leave, Pappu on forced leave and Priyanka can’t take leave because she’s never worked in her life.

If Pappu quits the Congress, then it will be the biggest ‪#‎BlowToModi‬ ever.
A new decent leadership might actually put Congress on the path to revival.

Politics is in your shirt.
Politics is even in your sabbatical.

Pappu: Main chutti lena chahata hu.
Congress: Arre! Aapki ki toh May 16 2014 ko hi chutti hui thi.
Workers: Chhutta nahin hai bhai, aage jao!

Pappu is the only politician who went on sabbatical the day he joined politics.
He keeps re-appearing enough times to just to retain membership of his organization.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Has anyone heard of Windsor Manor?

I went to Windsor Manor (now ITC Windsor) after years.

Most of the autowallahs looked at me as if I was talking about a foreign country.

Old Airport Road? JP Nagar? They queried. I think only the 10th or 12th autowallah had heard of it.

Sigh!

When I came to Bangalore in 1988, there were only 3-4 5-stars including Windsor Manor which was a landmark and every autowallah knew it very well.

Windsor Manor was also the famous setting for Kamal Haasan’s Pushpaka Vimana film in 1987 (The Windsor Manor bridge scene with the dead beggar is iconic) and was once the hub of the high and mighty.

New Bangalore has slowly been crushing Old Bangalore out of existence and at least people like me have been denying it for years.

Columns on anti-corruption…

Why February Kranti is no August Kranti!
February 21, 2015, Sify.com

Why does India worship its criminals?
October 8, 2014, Sify.com

Dozens of politicians in jail soon? Possible!
October 8, 2014, Sify.com

Everybody loves black money in India!
June 23, 2014, Sify.com

You’re corrupt. I’m corrupt. We’re all corrupt!
13 December, 2012, Sify.com

Why the corrupt get away in India
28 May 2012, Sify.com

The A to Z of Anna Hazare
25 March 2012, Sify.com

Open Letter to Anna Hazare…
16 January 2012, Sify.com

Us vs Them: Where Anna scored heavily
7 September, 2011, Sify.com

Why any kind of Lokpal is necessary
4 September, 2011, Sify.com

The Anna revolution: Victory or defeat?
29 August, 2011, Sify.com

7 ways to end corruption in India…
22 August, 2011, Sify.com

Viva Anna! Long live the revolution!
18 August, 2011, Sify.com

An Open Letter to the Congress Party…
16 August, 2011, Sify.com

The A to Z of the Lokpal “nautanki“…
16 June, 2011, Sify.com

India’s long fight against corruption
30 April, 2011, Sify.com

Change begins in Maharashtra
15 April, 2011, Sify.com

Tatas vs A Raja: India’s corruption gap
13 April, 2011, Sify.com

Do we Indians actually want corruption?
25 March, 2011, Sify.com

When the Kiwis thrashed the Poms at #CWC2015…

Reference: New Zealand ODI 20 February 2015.

During supper break…
England team: We are not hungry.
The cook: Yeah I saw you all devouring huge helpings of humble pie all day.

Duke of Wellington won the Battle of Waterloo in 1815.
The English met their Waterloo at the Battle of Wellington in 2015.

England is not even the best ODI cricket team in the British Isles.

Some time back Ab de Villiers hit 149 runs off 31 balls.
Today England hit 123 runs off 33.2 overs.
Angrezo, chullu bhar paani main doob maro!

England lost an ODI.
Had Brendon McCullum not got out, New Zealand would have won a T10 match.

Pre-McCullum era = 123 runs off 33.2 overs.
McCullum era = 105 runs off 7.1 overs.
Post-McCullum era = 20 runs off 5.1 overs.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Miandad’s sixer and Harjah for India…

From the beginning of ODIs to before Pakistani cricketer Javed Miandad hit the winning sixer off the last ball of the final of the 1986 Sharjah tournament; we led Pakistan 8-7 in terms of wins-losses.

From the Miandad sixer to Sharjah 1991, Pakistan led India a whopping 17-3.

We boycotted Sharjah in 1992 and our performance improved slightly, but we came back to Sharjah in 1994 and played till 2000.

During that period Pakistan led us 44-21.

Then we boycotted Sharjah for good after 2000.

Since then we lead Pakistan 22-21.

It was also after the first boycott that we beat Pakistan in the World Cup and since then we’ve beaten them in 6/6 World Cups.

If the BCCI ever thinks of holding neutral Indo-Pak matches at Sharjah, then the Harjah days are sure to return.

World Cup musings…

Total prize money up for grabs for 200+ players participating in 2015 ODI World Cup…
$10 million.
Yuvraj Singh’s fee for just appearing in IPL 2015…
$2.5 million.

The World Cup jinx…
Sri Lanka has never beaten Pakistan.
Pakistan has never beaten India.
India has never beaten South Africa.
South Africa has never beaten anyone in a knockout match.

A Tale of Three Summers…
Team India went from an Indian Summer to an Australian Summer and will return to an Indian Summer again.
Instead of a long rest, they’ll rush into a 1.5 month long IPL.

1992—India has beaten you in a World Cup. Will you give it back to them?
Pakistan—‪#‎WeWontGiveItBack‬—1996, 1999, 2003, 2011, 2015.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

The curious case of the Communist Manifesto from 1848 right through 2015…

1848…
Karl Marx: Comrades! I present to you the Communist Manifesto!
World: Wheeeeeeee!!!! We are saved!
2015: LOL! What a joke!

1917…
Vladimir Lenin: Comrades! I present to you the Communist Manifesto!
Russia: Wheeeeeeee!!!! We are saved!
1991: USSR totally collapses and is struggling well into 2015.

1947…
Jawaharlal Nehru: Comrades! I present to you the Communist Manifesto!
India: Wheeeeeeee!!!! We are saved!
1991: India goes bankrupt and RBI airlifts 47 tons of gold to Bank of England and an additional 20 tons of gold to Union Bank of Switzerland (just to raise $600 million). PV Narasimha Rao’s bold reforms save the day.

1949…
Mao Zedong: Comrades! I present to you the Communist Manifesto!
China: Wheeeeeeee!!!! We are saved!
1978: Deng Xiaoping junks the Communist Manifesto to embrace Capitalism and saves the day to turn China into a powerhouse. The common people continue to live under political Communist dictatorship though.

1977…
Jyoti Basu: Comrades! I present to you the Communist Manifesto!
West Bengal: Wheeeeeeee!!!! We are saved!
2011: People totally frustrated as the State turns into Waste Bengal.

2009…
Sonia Gandhi: Comrades! I present to you the Communist Manifesto!
India: Wheeeeeeee!!!! We are saved!
2014: Congress routed in the 2014 polls and gets an abysmal 44 Lok Sabha seats getting less than 100 seats for the first time ever. In the 2015 New Delhi polls it gets 0 seats to head towards extinction.

2011…
Mamata Banerjee: Comrades! I present to you the Communist Manifesto!
West Bengal: Wheeeeeeee!!!! We are saved!
2015: Waste Bengal turns into Waster Bengal as the people don’t know what to do next.

2015…
Arvind Kejriwal: Comrades! I present to you the Communist Manifesto!
New Delhi: Wheeeeeeee!!!! We are saved!
<Watch this space!!!>

Communist Manifesto.
New Communist Manifesto.
New Revised Communist Manifesto.
Yet More Newly Revised Communist Manifesto.
Actually forget it…
Just take Ye Ancient Communist Manifesto and pretend that it is new!

© Sunil Rajguru

Mukhya Mantri Kejriwal musings…

2014…
Kaunsa film laga hai?
A—Dharna Zaroori Hai.
2015…
Kaunsa film?
A—Sequel. Dharna Mana Hai.
Par koi bolta asli naam—Dharna Zaroori Hai 2.
‪#‎DelhiTalkies‬

Same man with same ideology but…
2011: Great hope! What a challenger!
2012: Who is he? Media creation!
2013: Great hope! Modi challenger!
2014: Who is he? Media creation!
2015: Great hope! Modi challenger!
2016: ???

Wheel of fortune…
2014: BJP gets greatest Lok Sabha mandate since 1984.
AAP: 4 seats.
2015: AAP gets one of the greatest Assembly mandates since 1947.
BJP: 3 seats.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru