When a draw and thriller can go together!

The last time any team won an India-South Africa Test series was way back in 2006. Since then the three series have been tied at 1-1 each. This is an oasis at a time when both India and Australia have been whitewashed and the England team is also looking at a whitewash in the current Ashes series.

The deadlock continued when the two teams played out what could be probably called the greatest draw in the history of Test cricket. Never had the commentators been so wrong about a pitch and in the end you didn’t know whether it was a bowler’s beauty or a batsman’s delight.

At the beginning we were told it would be a difficult pitch to play on and one must commend captain MS Dhoni’s courage in opting to bat first. India looked well set at 264-5, but then they crashed to 280. After that South Africa seemed to forge ahead at 130-1, but they crashed to 146-6.

A rearguard action took them past the 200 mark, but the Indian bowlers hit back to get South Africa all down for 244. When India batted again then at 315-4 it looked like India would set an impossible target, but the Proteas bowlers’ struck to make it a target of 458, which at least was in the realms of possibility.

Again the South Africans saw a see-saw chase. At 108-0, our opposition was sitting pretty and at 197-4 India would have thought it was just a matter of time that the wickets would start falling.

But one must say that at 402-4, India was shut out of the game and it was South Africa’s to lose. Even though they lost two quick wickets, then even at 442-6, the equation read in their favour:

16 runs required off 21 balls with 4 wickets in hand.

You might even back Bangladesh to win at that stage.

After the seventh wicket fell, both teams seemed to have shut down the shutters and the match ended tamely in a draw. That could be called the only low point of the match. In the end South Africa played 816 balls and had any two of these dot balls gone for boundaries or wickets, then the match would have swung decisively one way.

But the chase was a curious one. There were no genuine dismissals by bowlers and freak ones seemed to be the order of the innings. There were two run outs. Three batsmen dragged the ball on to their stumps. Jacques Kallis was not out and DRS might have turned the match on its head. Finally Hashim Amla left the ball and it ended up crashing on the stumps!

Rarely does one fielder play such an important role in the match and Ajinkya Rahane’s two direct hits and one miss were downright crucial.

First Rahane hit the stumps and ended a fine century opening stand.

At 318-4 he almost hit the stumps to affect a run out in something that could have swung the match entirely in India’s direction.

Finally he took the seventh wicket in a similar fashion and that probably put the match on the path of a draw as we looked like totally losing it at that stage.

Of course India will come back much happier at the end of this Test. For one, we have ended our 0-8 streak of lost Test matches on foreign soil. Virat Kohli was the man of the match and this was one of the greatest performances on foreign pitches we’ve seen by an Indian batsman.

Cheteshwar Pujara got a 150 and Zaheer Khan made a great comeback picking up five wickets in the match. Even Ishant Sharma, whose career looked over a few months back, ended up taking 5 wickets. Co-incidentally Mohammed Shami also picked up 5 wickets, making it one of our best bowling performances.

Even someone like Ajinkya Rahane will feel satisfied as he scored more than 50 runs in the match and affected two very crucial run outs.

It is a travesty that a 4-match series was reduced to a 2-Test one; otherwise we really had a mouthwatering 20 days of cricket on our hands!

© Sunil Rajguru

The difference between Narendra Modi and all the rest…

Congress leader…
Stage 1: The allegation is wrong.
Stage 2: The chargesheet is wrong.
Stage 3: The trial is wrong.
Stage 4: The verdict is wrong.
Modi…
Stage 0: Whatever allegation you’re going to make is correct. Hang him!

Congress…
They have 1969 (Gujarat riots), 1980 (Moradabad riots), 1983 (Nellie massacre), 1984 (anti-Sikh pogrom) and 1989 (Bhagalpur riots).
Modi…
But 2002 is a greater number than either 1969 or 1980 or 1983 or 1984 or 1989.

Congress…
Emergency, Section 66A, Article 356, Section 144, no elections for the Congress President when a dynasty member is around…
Modi…
Fascist! Dictatorial! No free speech in Gujarat!

Pappu…
What about work experience?
Not required. He is fit to be Prime Minister because he is well-meaning, inclusive and cute.
Modi…
His 11 years’ experience as CM proves that he is unfit to be PM.

Others…
There is no development in a, b, c… States.
Modi…
The development of Gujarat is not inclusive!

© Sunil Rajguru

A day in the life of the average Congress spokesperson…

1. Get up in the morning and sing, “Saare jahaan se acchha, Pappustan hamara…”

2. Check Sonia Unhappiness Index mobile app.

3. Scan the newspapers for…
a. Congress misdeeds to see how it can all be blamed on Modi.
b. Check how many times Modi has been trashed as a measure of their victory.

4. Tweet silently cursing how the Congress hasn’t conquered Twitter yet.

5. Shout non-stop on TV channels all day.

6. Watch movies like Wag the Dog and wonder at the spin that can be achieved by any government.

7. Try writing books like How To Make Enemies and Still Influence People and hope it will be a best seller.

8. While sleeping, gargle to maintain most precious asset: The voice.

© Sunil Rajguru

When the AAP comes to power…

Do you want to ban homosexuality in Delhi?
SMS Yes or No to…

Do you want a reduction of power tariff?
Email your response to…

Should the following minister resign on those allegations?
Protest at Jantar Mantar to make your views known…

Is the Delhi GPO doing a good job?
Post your letters to…

Do you want me to step down?
All the above mentioned options are open.

The government is short of funds.
Send in your donations to…

Slogan…
Kar lo governance aam aadmi ki mutthi main.

(But is it AAP democracy or Participative Democracy or Mobocracy?)

© Sunil Rajguru

Many a slip between the Lokpal Bill and Act…

The Lokpal Bill was presented in Parliament in 1968.

Since then… man walked on the moon, Pakistan was split into two, India and Pakistan became nuclear powers, the PC entered households, BJP created, an Indian entered space, the Russian Communist Empire collapsed, we entered the Internet age, 9/11 happened, India saw 10 more people become PMs, an African American became US President, Anna Hazare brought India to a standstill over the Lokpal Bill, Sachin debuted and scored his 1st and 100th international century and retired, India launched Mars probe…

Alternatively…

When the Lokpal Bill was presented in Parliament, Anna Hazare was in the army.

Since then… Anna served in the 1971 war, quit service, transformed his village Ralegan Siddhi, started a Grain Bank, launched many anti-corruption movements in Maharashtra, was jailed in Yerawada (Pune), got State ministers indicted, spearheaded RTI movement in State, helped pass Act stopping arbitrary transfers of officials, launched a campaign against Pawar, spearheaded August Kranti, was jailed in Tihar, saw the launch and electoral success of the Aam Aadmi Party…

Though some things never change…

In 1968 Pappu didn’t have any achievements because he wasn’t born.
In 2013 Pappu still doesn’t have any achievements.

Theme song…
Aayega aayega aayega aayega Lokpal ek din, aayega..

© Sunil Rajguru

More Arvind Kejriwal musings…

Debut: KejriWah!
For BJP in Delhi: KejriWall.
Power promises: KejriWatt.
For Anna Hazare: KejriWar.
In case of repoll: KejriWas?

Jab Anna-Cong-BJP raazi, to kya karega Kejri?
#Lokpal

Anna Hazare: Pahale aap bahut acche the, abhi AAP bahut boore hai.
Arvind Kejriwal: aap ka kasoor nahin hai, par AAP ka kasoor hai.

AAP ka BAAP (BJP + Anna Agitation + Pappu).
#Lokpal

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Arvind Kejriwal musings…

Avtomat Kalashnikova 1947: AK-47.
Avtomat Kalashnikova 1956: AK-56.
Arvind Kejriwal 2013: AK-13.

Then: Advani an alternative to Modi!
Now: Advani, who?
Then: Pappu an alternative to Modi!
Now: Pappu, ha ha!
Then: Nitish an alternative to Modi!
Now: Bihar bhi jar aha hai.
Latest: Kejriwal an alternative to Modi!

Jab Anna-Cong-BJP raazi, to kya karega Kejri?
#Lokpal

In retrospect, we now have August Kranti (Anna) and August Kranti (Kejriwal) agitations of 2011.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Another round of Congressi musings…

1942: Congress launched Quit India movement against British.
2014: If Congress gets re-elected, many citizens may want to Quit India.

If Sonia Gandhi is the entire country’s mother, then it’s time every citizen got his or her share of the inheritance.

If and when Pappu becomes Prime Minister, some will call it an Obama moment.
But it will actually be a Kim Jong-un moment.

If the most powerful person in India is “unhappy” and “disappointed” all the time, then I guess the average Indian can only be severely depressed.

Congress leadership: We are ready to sit in the Opposition.
Andhra Pradesh MPs: We are already there!

Nightmare…
2014: Congress decimated, but a Third Front joker becomes PM.
2016: Snap polls. Anti-Third Front wave helps Congress, Pappu becomes PM.
Protests begin yet again.

Looks like…
1. Pappu has failed as General-Secretary.
Make him Vice President!
2. Pappu has failed as Vice President!
Make him Prime Minister!

2004-14…
Manmohan Singh is the messenger.
Sonia Gandhi is the message.
2014…
The voters finally have a message of their own.

Old Sonia = Old Congress.
New Pappu = Old Congress.
No dynasty = New Congress.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Famous proverbs in the Indian context…

Speech is silver, but silence is gold.
#ManmohanSingh

People who live in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones.
#TarunTejpal

It’s better for a lion to head a lambs’ army than to have a lamb head a lions’ army.
#Pappu

Offence is the best form of defence.
#NaMo

I’m OK. You’re OK.
#MMS #TheekHai

Don’t count your chickens before they hatch.
#BanOpinionPolls

Familiarity breeds contempt.
#TenYearsOfUPA

Too many cooks spoil the broth.
#CongressSpokespersons

Beggars can’t be choosers.
#IndianVoters

Two wrongs don’t make a right.
#1984and2002

Birds of a feather flock together.
#Criminals #Politicians

Sticks and stones may hurt my bones but names will never hurt me.
#NaMo

A chain is only as strong as its weakest link.
#Pappu

If you want something done right, you have to do it yourself.
#ArvindKejriwal

Musings on Pappu The Great…

Nehru: Major leaders left him.
Indira: Split the party.
Rajiv: Halved Congress LS mandate.
Sonia: Could never become PM.
Pappu: All of the above?

Q: What is the escape velocity to rid India of the Congress?
A: Pappu!

Sad truth…
Modi: Mere paas 2014 hai, tere paas kya hai?
Pappu: Mere paas 2019, 2024, 2029, 2034… hai!

Pappu wants to learn from AAP.
Pappu + AAP = Paap.
Paapi pet ka sawaal hai!

Every time Pappu opens his mouth, Congress loses tens of thousands of votes.
2013 to sirf jhaaki hai, 2014 abhi baaki hai.

The Nehru-Gandhi dynasty desperately needs employment post-2014.
Pappu pet ka sawaal hai.

Pappu, please give extensive speeches in West Bengal, Kerala and Tamil Nadu.
Thanks to that, the BJP just might open its account in those states.

Pappu’s leadership is nonsense and should be torn up and thrown away.

At this rate just before the Lok Sabha elections, Pappu will call the Congress manifesto nonsense and say it should be torn and thrown away.

Post 2014, Pappu will act in a movie called Ek Tha Dynasty.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Musings on Congress The Great…

The Congress philosophy…
Give a man a fish and gain his vote for an election.
Teach a man to fish and lose a recurring vote forever.

CONGRESS =
Corrupt
Opportunistic
Nepotistic
Gasbags
Registering
Endless
Supersized
Scams.

Post 1947: Angrez gaye.
Post 2014: Congrez jaayenge.

Sonia=TINA Factor.
(There Is No Alternative)
Pappu=also TINA Factor.
(This Is No Alternative!!!)

2004-14…
Manmohan Singh is the messenger.
Sonia Gandhi is the message.
2014…
The voters finally have a message of their own.

What if Manmohan is still thinking now…
Shivraj, Modi, Sheila, Naveen, Sarkar… sabne hat-trick maara.
Ab mera number 2014 main aayega!

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

The Modi wave is here…

Na billi hai na parcha hai,
Bas Modi ka hi charcha hai,
Jo na samjhe ye aaj bhi ye,
Woh to waakahi baccha hai.

Sheila: Agar Pappu fail na hota to main CM banti.
Harsh Vardhan: Agar Kejriwal na hota to main CM banta.
Kejriwal: Agar Modi wave na hota to main CM banta.

2012: Is Advani an alternative to Modi?
2013: Is Pappu an alternative to Modi?
2014: Is AAP an alternative to Modi?
Deny karte karte Modi ka ek term poora bhi ho jaayega.

Kejriwal wave in Delhi.
Modi wave all over India.
Pappu waves Congress chances goodbye.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru