Secularly guided Sting missiles…

Every company and political party in the world buys out social media.
—Cool, let’s target Modi!

Every leader in the world, even Barack Obama, snoops.
—Cool, let’s target Modi!

Every defence deal in the world is corrupt.
—Cool, let’s target NDA!

Every party in India has seen a riot under its rule, especially Congress.
—Cool, let’s target RSS!

Every group in India can be bought over to commit violence.
—Cool, let’s change the script a bit but target Sri Ram Sena and attack BJP-RSS all the same.

© Sunil Rajguru

Never-ending Tehelka musings…

The Tehelka Crow and Red Chilli backfire…
1. Jhooth bole kauwa kaate.
2. Mirchi lag gayi.

If someone has started watching Indian TV in the last 10 days then he might conclude that it is Tarun Tejpal who is the main Prime Ministerial candidate.

Phata Tehelka, nikla CobraPost.

Jitni shaurat Tejpal ko dus saal main nahin mili,
utni infamy usko dus din main mili hai.
#Tehelka #TVCoverage

Next Tehelka cover story…
Rape accused.
Conspiracy charge.
Team divided.
The fugitive.
Financial irregularities.
An institution falls.

At this rate Tehelka will become a prison magazine brought out single-handedly by Tarun Tejpal.

Sounds like…
Jayanthi Natarajan: Tarun Tejpal won’t get a fair trial in Goa.
Q: So where will he get it?
Jayanthi: Why, where else but the rape capital of India!


2001: Operation West End.
2013: Operation The End.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Yet more Tehelka musings…

Wrong question…
How much is the BJP against the Tehelka chief?
Right question…
How much is the Congress with a rape accused?

“Don’t kick a man when he’s down.”
Predator + Rich + Powerful + Well-connected + Unrepentant + Still maligning the victim
= Howz that “down”?

What Tarun Tejpal seems to be saying…
I am so noble and honourable that I pleaded guilty for a crime that I didn’t commit for the sake of Feminism!

Step by step, Tarun Tejpal is behaving exactly like all the politicians and criminals that he has claimed to have exposed through Tehelka.
Shoma Chaudhury is a stellar assistant.

Even if there is a Tug of War between the Congress and BJP, then Tarun Tejpal is the rope and still may break.

Police building up case.
Victim escalating her fight.
Tejpal marshalling his forces.
Going to be one fight.
Victim’s victory would be a watershed moment indeed.

Na ghar ki (Victim+Tehelka staffers) na ghaat ki (Tarun Tejpal already blaming her for his email).

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Thus spake Tarun Tejpal…

I am JAG (Judge Advocate General).

I will choose the Judge.

I will choose the Advocate.

I am the General.

I will decide what crime it is.

I will decide the quantum of punishment,

I will choose victim’s testimony.

I will choose which State police to investigate me.

I will choose the investigating agency.

One second thoughts…

I am Judge Dredd!

I am the law!


© Sunil Rajguru

More Tehelka musings…

When the Hunter becomes the Hunted.
When the Sting gets Stung.
When the magazine is News and not reporting it.
When the Tehelka is within and not around.

With the way she has behaved I think it is Shoma Chaudhury who should lacerate and take a 6 months recuse while Tarun Tejpal should be handed over to the police.

Q: Why did Tarun Tejpal demand his case be transferred to independent agency?
A: Because Goa is under BJP rule while Tejpal is under Congress rule.

The only good Tarun Tejpal has achieved is that he has increased the vocabulary of the entire middle class India by a count of 2.
#Lacerate #Recuse

Months back…
Shoma: Death penalty not a solution for rapists.
Tejpal: You are stellar Shoma, what foresight!

If Tehelka had been anti-Congress instead of being so virulently anti-BJP, it would have folded up within 24 hours of the scandal.

By now it’s crystal clear that Shoma Chaudhury doesn’t give a fig for women’s rights and rape but is just another power drunk editor.

2 years’ incarceration
6 months laceration.
A recluse in solitary confinement
A recuse as a judgment.

Nadeem-Shravan collected romantic tunes for years waiting for a Romantic Era to come and then flooded Bollywood.
The anti-Modi camp has been collecting stings for years now, waiting for the run up to 2014, and have started flooding the media with them now.

How they treat a rape accused…
If not for this, then Tejpal is the greatest journalist in the history of India and Tehelka the greatest magazine.

2011: Interpol-Pakistan says Taliban trying to launch India operations.
2013: Tehelka calls Taliban leader to infamous Goa THiNK 2013.
And you really expected better from Tarun Tejpal?

They’re trying to portray Tejpal as a great man who suddenly fell.
Tehelka has always followed journalism of hate.
Plus sexual predators rule media.

Every Character will meet his comeuppance within these 140 Characters.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Indian media musings…

Indian TV channels…
Breaking Views.
Breaking Interviews.
Breaking Overviews.
Breaking Previews.
Breaking Reviews.
Breaking Nonnews.
But rarely… Real Breaking News.

Indian media coverage…
A scandal a day keeps the real issues away.

Coming soon…
Saheb, no Biwi aur media Gangsters.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Sonia musings…

Sonia: BJP is a party of poisonous people.
+ Sonia: Power is poison.
= What Sonia really said: BJP is a party of powerful people.

It’s absolutely rare in the world for a pathetic orator to be the leader of a political party.

In Congress, MP stands for Master of Poison.
#Power=Poison #Sonia #Pappu

Power corrupts (UPA1).
Absolute power corrupts absolutely (UPA2).
Beyond that is complete annihilation (UPA3).

All Congress spokespersons play a game call “Passing the Foot in the Mouth Parcel”.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

2014 in terms of Election Symbols for…

BJP voter: Kamal corruption aur gande economy ke keechad main khilega.
Rival: Kamal murjha jaayega.

Congress voter: Haath high five karega.
Rival: Haath malte raha jaoge!

SP voter: Cycle Delhi main daudega.
Rival: Cycle UP main hi puncture ho jaayega.

JD(U) voter: Teer nishaane pe lagega is baar.
Rival: Toota teer?

BSP voter: Haathi Delhi main raaj karega.
Rival: Haathi UP main hi extinct ho jaayega.

CPM voter: Loha garam hai, maar do Hathoda.
Rival: Hathoda ka zamana kab ka khatam ho gaya.

AAP voter: Jhaadu saare parties ko saaf karega.
Rival: Jhaadu apne hi armaano pe jhaadu lagayega.

TRS voter: Telenagana ke naye raaste pe Car chalega.
Rival: Car main pahale petrol to bharwa lo!

NCP voter: Ghadi ka zamana hai.
Rival: Tumhari to Ghadi band ho gayi hai!

DMK voter: Sunrise and Sonrise!
Rival: Sunset and Sonset!

© Sunil Rajguru

Tehelka musings…

Taliban justice…
Sexual harassment = 6 lashes to the back.
Tehelka justice…
Sexual harassment = 6 months leave and I’ll be back.

Justice Chaudhury: Death to smugglers!
Justice Chaudhury: Six months leave for sexual harassment!
#Tehelka #TarunTejpal

I apologize and go on 6 months leave.
—Tarun Tejpal.
Dear Tehelka,
Oh, that’s the kind of apology you want from Narendra Modi for Godhra!

For every action (against Modi), there is an equal and opposite reaction (against his detractors).

The hate industry against Modi is far greater than the hate they claim he propagates.

The foundations of the entire anti-Modi alliance are nothing but a pack of cards.
They are destined to collapse sooner or later.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Congress then and now…

What the Congress stood for in 1947…

Great leaders.
Raj gaya angrezo ka.

And in 2013…

Corruption + Crony Capitalism + Communalism.
Nehru-Gandhi Dynasty.
Generations of decline.
Emergency + e-mergency.

© Sunil Rajguru

Terms and conditions for the Bharat Ratna…

Congratulations! You are the proud recipient of a Bharat Ratna.

Here are the following terms and conditions that come along with it…

1. You cannot endorse Narendra Modi for Prime Minister in absolutely any way. That will severely devalue the Ratna. We may then consider withdrawing it.

2. You now rank seventh in order of precedence: Above CMs and Governors outside their respective States. That means outside Gujarat, you rank above Modi and hence he is beneath you and hence there is no need for you to endorse him in the first place! Plus if you visit Gujarat, then you will become below Modi, so under any circumstances, do not visit Gujarat!

3. You will sever all links (if any) with the Shiv Sena, the MNS, the RSS and any right-wing Fascist forces.

4. You will always be a paragon of secularism and shun anything to do with any form of communalism whatsoever.

5. This decision may be used for political mileage and we may invoke you in our election campaign.

6. We may be voted out in the next general elections and the next government may try to impose new terms and conditions on your Ratna. We hope then you will fondly remember who gave it to you in the first place!

Happy gloating!

Warm regards,

The Grand Old Party of India

This version by Sunil Rajguru

Parrot ka parrot ka parrot ka…

rotkopfara-1633096_640Sonia: I never wanted to enter politics. At times I feel like a caged parrot.

Manmohan: I am a caged parrot of Madamji.

CBI chief: I am a caged parrot of the PM.

Opposition leaders: We feel like caged parrots of the CBI.

Victims of Opposition leaders: We feel like caged parrots of…

© Sunil Rajguru