Daily Archives: December 18, 2015

Jaago mat! So jao, warna big bad wolf aa jaayega!

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A long time ago in a faraway place there lived a boy who was given charge of taking care of the sheep. Since there was no-one to watch him, he craved attention and so he starting screaming and shouting that a big bad wolf was charging towards the sheep.
The people came in full numbers and saw that there was no wolf. They told everyone else the story anyway.

The second time he starting screaming and shouting that a big bad wolf was charging towards the sheep. The people came again in full numbers and saw that there was no wolf. They told everyone else the story anyway.

The third time he starting screaming and shouting that a big bad wolf was charging towards the sheep. The people came again in full numbers and saw that there was no wolf. They told everyone else the story anyway.

The fourth time…

The fifth …

The…

(This continued for years on end)

The End.

Note:
Boy = Sri Sri Yugpurush.
Sheep = Electorate of Delhi.
People = TV channels.

(This spoof by Sunil Rajguru)

Manmohan Singh and Narendra Modi are same to same…

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Manmohan and Modi did the same number of foreign trips in a year.
The former’s trips were just formalities however.

Manmohan and Modi gave the same number of official speeches in a year.
You just didn’t hear the former however.

Manmohan and Modi both worked in office all day.
The former just worked like a glorified clerk and not a CEO however.

Manmohan and Modi both didn’t take money.
The former allowed everyone else to take but.

Manmohan (2009) and Modi (2014) both won mandates for their party.
The former handed it on a platter to Pappu but.

Manmohan and Modi both sat on the nation’s highest chair.
The former handed over the authority to someone else but.

© Sunil Rajguru

The Kejri nautanki continues unabated…

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Priceless logic!
I will hire a corrupt official.
If that corruption is investigated, I will call the PM a psychopath and call his FM corrupt.

Accept unconditionally that Kejri is a dishonest power hungry man who used the anti-corruption plank to grab power and everything makes sense.

2012: Alternative to aam parties.
2013: Alternative to Sheila.
2014: Alternative to Modi.
2015: Alternative to Mogambo.
‪#‎CowardKejriwal‬

#‎CowardKejriwal‬ attacks the honest, hugs a convict, aligns with the corruptest party, selects MLAs who’ve been arrested and FIRed.

The support that Delhi’s Glorified Mayor and Crown Prince of the Failed Party get is simply mind-blowing.
‪#‎LetParliamentWork‬ ‪#‎CowardKejriwal‬

Before hiring someone, Kejri should have checked his background: Anna.
Arre baba had you checked Kejri’s background before hiring him, ye din nahin aate!

Anna Hazare ranted against bad political parties so much but ended up adding one more to the system.
‪#‎AAP‬

AAP makes its 123456th baseless allegation and will not follow it up because TV channels will give them great coverage.
‪#‎HitAndRun‬ ‪#‎AAPNautanki‬

Na khaoonga, na khaane doonga.
—Modi.
Na kaam karoonga, na kaam karne doonga.
—Congressman.
Na corruption hataunga, na hataane doonga.
—Sri Sri Yugpurush.

AAP.
Margdarshak Mandal from outside: YoYa, PrBh.
Virtual Chief Minister: Manish Sisodia.
Chief Activist and film critic: Sri Sri Yugpurush.

Sonia, Jaitley and Kejri are all darlings of the media.
If they all start fighting with each other then system overload ho jaayega.

At this rate Anna Hazare will launch August Kranti 2016 against Arvind Kejriwal.
Kiran Bedi could be the only consistent factor.

After August Kranti agitation…
Anna: Ye desh ke saath dhokhaghadi hua hai!
After ‪#‎CowardKejriwal‬’s latest theatrics…
Desh: Ye to hamaare saath dhokhaghadi hua hai!

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Subramanian Swamy musings…

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Swamy—I’ve sorted out Mansoravar, fixed Hegde, stopped Ram Sethu project, put Raja in jail, summoned Sonia… You?
Kejri—I’ve done 10,234 press conferences!

As a politician, Sonia is not even 1% of Subramanian Swamy.
But the Indian political system is such that Swamy hasn’t received even 1% of what Sonia got.

Why are you not appointing a Lokpal?
Modi: Kya zaroorat hai? Subramanian Swamy hai na!
‪#‎NationalHerald‬

The difference…
If Swamy and Modi really go after you, you find yourself in jail.
If Kejri goes after you then only media goes after you and then its Ghajini.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Modi finally seems to hit out…

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Modi increases the temperature just a wee bit and all the Opposition leaders start jumping like cats on a hot tin roof.
‪#‎IfCBIRaids‬

Past…
Attacked Modi in 2002, he won.
Attacked him in 2007, he won.
Attacked him in 2014, he won.
Future…
Attacking him for 2019.

Sonia: Tu jaanta nahin meri saas…
‪#‎CowardKejriwal‬: Tu jaanta nahin mera…
Kharge: Tu jaanta nahin…
Modi: Tu jaanta nahin main Pradhan Mantri hu? Dikhau?

Very soon Doordarshan will have to launch an ‪#‎AajKaRaid‬ bulletin.
‪#‎IfCBIRaids‬ ‪#‎IfEDRaids‬

Since all his opponents have rubbished his ‪#‎ChaiPeCharcha‬, Modi has decided to launch ‪#‎RaidPeCharcha‬ on all of them.
‪#‎IfCBIRaids‬ ‪#‎IfEDRaids‬

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Latest Bollywood musings…

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Bollywood superstar makes crappy film.
Some friendly critics praise it. Others blast it.
Indians see in large numbers, most say, “What bakwaas!”
Film makes 100s of crores.
Repeat.

Dilip Kumar did many great films before Sachin was born.
Sachin got Padma Vibhushan in 2008; Bharat Ratna in 2013.
Dilip sahab is getting the Padma Vibhushan only in 2015!

1964: Noor Ullah Khan born.
2002: Noor Ullah Khan died.
2015: Noor Ullah Khan never existed.
‪#‎SalmanVerdict‬

These versions by Sunil Rajguru