What was it about Dhoni then, eh?

cup-1015644_1280As captains…

Sourav Ganguly won exactly Zero finals in tournaments that involved 4 or more teams.

MS Dhoni won 12 finals in tournaments that involved 4 or more teams.

Virat Kohli won exactly Zero finals in tournaments that involved 4 or more teams.

The Dhoni list…

2007 T20 World Cup

2010 Asia Cup

2010 IPL

2010 Champions League Twenty20

2011 ODI World Cup

2011 IPL

2013 Champions Trophy

2014 Champions League Twenty20

2016 Asia Cup

2018 Asia Cup

2018 IPL

2021 IPL

That’s 6 leagues and 6 international tournaments.

Dhoni was also the first captain to take India to the ICC No. 1 rankings in Tests, ODIs and T20s.

Fun fact…
Number of cricketing finals won by Team India in tournaments featuring 4 or more teams from 1996-2021 without Dhoni

You don’t speak a European language? You can’t win the Football World Cup!

the-ball-488700_640Number of FIFA World Cups won by official national language…

Portuguese: 5.
(Brazil: 5)

Spanish: 5.
(Uruguay: 2, Argentina: 2, Spain: 1)

German: 4.
(Germany: 4)

Italian: 4.
(Italy: 4)

French: 2.
(France: 2)

English: 1.
(England: 1)

EuropeMoral of the story: If your national language isn’t European, you can’t win the FIFA World Cup!

Also, co-incidentally, the languages that the countries come from…
Portugal, Spain, France, Germany, Italy and England are all neighbouring countries sitting in the map together!

© Sunil Rajguru

(First written after the 2014 edition, updated after 2018)

South Africa anti-choke musings…

banner-2024936_640Ref: South Africa versus Sri Lanka, March 18, 2015.

After AAP political realignment, a choking realignment is underway in the South Africa-Sri Lanka quarter final match at World Cup 2015.

South Africa needed 134 off 50.
AB de Villiers wanted to open but then someone reminded him it was 50 overs and not 50 balls.

Sri Lankan batting chokes.
Now South African batsmen have a greater chance of chauke pe chauka rather than choke-a pe choke-aa.

Dekh bhai, bahut choke kar liya aapne!
Aaj hamari baari hai!
—Sri Lankan batsmen

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

World Cup musings…

Total prize money up for grabs for 200+ players participating in 2015 ODI World Cup…
$10 million.
Yuvraj Singh’s fee for just appearing in IPL 2015…
$2.5 million.

The World Cup jinx…
Sri Lanka has never beaten Pakistan.
Pakistan has never beaten India.
India has never beaten South Africa.
South Africa has never beaten anyone in a knockout match.

A Tale of Three Summers…
Team India went from an Indian Summer to an Australian Summer and will return to an Indian Summer again.
Instead of a long rest, they’ll rush into a 1.5 month long IPL.

1992—India has beaten you in a World Cup. Will you give it back to them?
Pakistan—‪#‎WeWontGiveItBack‬—1996, 1999, 2003, 2011, 2015.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

April 2011 Status Updates

∙ Just because you want to make Brick plural, you use the word s.
Just because you want to make BRIC plural, you use South Africa?

(April 14)

∙ Tired of India winning the Corruption World Cup over and again, Anna Hazare throws a googly at the politicians…

(April 5)

∙ Lord of the Cups trilogy:
1983: The Fellowship of the Cup
1987&1996: The Twin Towers of Defeat
2011: Return of the Cup.

∙ No jinx jinxed enough for Dhoni to fix.

∙ Saare ICC rankings gaye tel lene!
We are world champions for the next four years!

∙ Prices will rise, politicians will philander, you too will get old and in cricket world cups, India will beat Pakistan, South Africa will choke, Australia and Sri Lanka will fight, the West Indies will crash and the minnows will always flatter to decieve.

‎∙ 1983: WC in England. 1985: Mini WC in Aus. 2002: Mini WC in Lanka. 2007: T20 WC in SA.

∙ 2011: WC in India! Finally tigers at home!

∙ The BCCI has foresight. No wonder we’ve been playing with Sri Lanka so much in the last two years. They knew the two would meet in the final and hence practice for that!

∙ Dhoni ko harana mushkil hi nahin, namumkin hai!

∙ First Politician: How do we sort out all these scams, corruption, public backlashes…
Second Politician: Forget it! India has just won the world cup!

∙ New post-World Cup theme song:
Diya ghuma ke!

∙ The Cup of Vengeance!
1996 WC Semis defeat to SL: Avenged!
2003 WC Final loss to Aus: Avenged!
2007 WC loss to Bangla: Avenged
General losses to Pak: Avenged!
Losses to SA in 2011: SA avenged themselves!

‎∙ 28 years baad is banjar sookhi zameen par baarish hui ha.
World Cup monsoon aayo re!

∙ Bockbuster: Main Hoon Na!
Starring MS Dhoni as SRK and Piyush Chawla/S Sreesanth as Zayed Khan.
Ashwin: To Main Nahin Hoon Kya?
Who cares? They all won the World Cup!

(April 3)

∙ Will it Sachin get a second chance at being third time lucky?
(2×3=Sixth world cup appearance)

(April 1)

© Sunil Rajguru

If wishes were horses…

After 20 years, Imran Khan is the Prime Minister of Pakistan and Sachin Tendulkar the PM of India.
India and Pak reach the final of the 2032 T10 World Cup. So Sachin invites Imran  to Eden Gardens where they meet and discuss a lot of things and end up sorting out the Kashmir issue! Cricket Diplomacy zindabad!
P.S. Manmohan Singh sahab, what an idea sirji! Deflecting all your problems in one stroke! If India wins the WC, you might actually win the assembly polls! What is 2G, CWG, WikiLeaks in front of cricket?
This version by Sunil Rajguru