Kohli-Kumble-CT musings

cricket-players-2027502_640Gavaskar fought with Kapil.
Kapil fought with Sachin.
Sachin fought with Azhar.
Ganguly fought with Chappell.
Kohli fought with Kumble.
Same old same old.

What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas.
Kohli—What happens in the dressing room, stays in the dressing room.

Kapil Vs Sachin Vs Azhar = Everyone quit as coach/captain.
Chappell Vs Ganguly = First Chappell went, then Ganguly.
Kumble Vs Kohli = Kumble quit.

Indian cricket has currently many masters…
BCCI.
Supreme Court.
CoA.
Sachin-Dada-Laxman panel.
Kohli.
Coach just went, but will be replaced.

Politics cut short…
Kapil’s coaching.
Sachin’s captaincy.
Chappell’s coaching.
Ganguly’s captaincy + career.
Dravid’s captaincy.
Kumble’s coaching.

Most Indian captains have at least one tournament final crash…
Kohli = 158 all down, 2017 CT.
Dhoni = 173 all down, 2008 Asia Cup.
Ganguly = 54 all down, 2000 Sharjah.
Jadeja = 168 all down, 1999 Pepsi Cup.
Azhar = 125 all down, 1999 Sharjah.
Kapil = 187 all down, 1986 Benson & Hedges.

Virat Kohli has 76% ODI wins as captain, unheard of in India.
In Tests he has a 16-3 W-L record.
No replacement in sight.
He’s captain till the 2019 ODI World Cup.

Fact of the day.
Yuvraj Singh, Harbhajan Singh and Virender Sehwag became the first players to win the ICC troika of ODI + T20 World Cups and Champions Trophy.
MS Dhoni joined them in 2013—the first as captain.
Kohli needs a T20 World Cup to join the club.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

#IndVsEng series musings…

Jo shatak banayega wohi Sikander.
#Sachin
Jo Jeeta wohi Sikander.
#Sachin
MC-BC. Sikander gaya tel lene.
Shatak bhi mera, jeet bhi meri!
#Kohli

Test captaincy.
Test anchor.
ODI anchor.
iT20 anchor.
RCB captaincy.
RCB anchor.
3500+ runs in all the above.
Pressure? Woh kya hota hai?
#Kohli

Batsman Kohli—May surpass Sachin.
Captain Kohli—May surpass Dhoni.
Spinner Ashwin—May surpass Kumble.
All-rounder Ashwin—May surpass Kapil.

Batting Averages.
Great player…
Tests—55.
ODIs—50.
iT20s—40.
Kohli…
Tests—50.
ODIs—53.
iT20s—57.

Only two active cricketers have scored more than 650 runs in a Test series versus Australia in Australia.
#Cook #Kohli
Funny Anderson thinks Kohli needs pitches to score.

Prophecy: A Karnataka batsman will cross 200 at the Chennai Test.
Rahul out on 199: Damn! The prophecy was wrong!
Karun Nair: No it wasn’t!

#Dravid #Kumble #Laxman #Dhoni #Kohli
Greater match-winners than Sachin.
Sachin is not even the greatest in his own team.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Yet more RCB IPL musings…

Ashes to ashes and dust to dust.
If Gayle don’t get you, Kohli must.
If Kohli should fall, ABD will make you go bust.
#Qualifier1

Gayle gaya. Kohli gaya. Watson gaya. Rahul gaya. Binny gaya. Baby gaya.
ABD: Picture abhi baaki hai mere dost!
#Qualifier1

Sau sonaar ki, ek lohaar ki.
‪#‎IPL‬ ‪#‎RCB‬…
Teen sau sonaar ki, teen lohaar ki.
‪#‎Gayle‬ ‪#‎Kohli‬ ‪#‎ABD‬

Bengaluru boy/girl: Say the 3 magic words!
‪#‎RCB‬ fan: Say the 3 magic letters…
A B D !

Other players…
Gotta try to keep asking rate below 10 runs an over.
ABD…
I am in control till asking rate is upto 16 runs an over.

ABD and RCB bowlers finally telling Kohli…
Tu kucch jyaada hi batting kar liya boss!
Ab thoda araam karle!
#Qualifier1

How do we stop Gayle?
Gayle out of form. So now how do we stop ABD?
Before you sort out ABD, Kohli goes berserk.
And then Gayle comes back in form!

There should be a Yellow Cap or something for the fielder with the most wickets.

Changing times…
VVS Laxman in his 220 international matches career hit 10 6s.
Brendon McCullum in the very first ‪#‎IPL‬ innings hit 13 6s.

Kohli.
Century: Yawn!
Fifty: Underperformed.
Zero: Aaj sooraj kahan se nikla!

Hurricane Kohli.
Gayle Storm.
ABD Cyclone.

Sir, right now Kohli can emerge victorious from any hopeless situation!
Mallya: Then should we make him in-charge of UB?

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Kohli-RCB-IPL musings…

You need stitches!
Kohli: Wait. Let me first stitch up victory, then you can treat me.

Bruce ka bhai Koh Lee.
Cool-he.
K007hli.
SabKiLeLi.

Kohli to his bowlers…
Tum runs dete raho, main runs lete rahunga.

Kohli ko out karna mushkil hi nahin, namumkin hai.
Nau international teams aur saat IPL franchisees iska hal dhoond rahe hai.

Kohli singing…
Saare RCB bowlers ka bojh hum uthaate hai.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

My Virat Kohli Columns

cricket-players-2027502_640Kohli attacks, Ishant roars and India wins!
September 1, 2015, Sify.com

Kohli’s aggro mojo backfires
August 16, 2015, Sify.com

The Dhoni-Kohli show finally ends
March 26, 2015, Sify.com

Kohli: King of adversity
December 13, 2014, Sify.com

Why Kohli may one day be the greatest ever
April 7, 2014, Sify.com

World is not enough for Kohli
03 November, 2013, Sify.com

Cricketer of the year: Virat Kohli
24 December, 2012, Sify.com

King Kohli now rules all 3 realms
05 October, 2012, Sify.com

India’s new Fab 4 have to get in fast
29 August, 2012, Sify.com

King Kohli strikes yet again!
19 March, 2012, Sify.com

Virat is the right choice
02 March, 2012, Sify.com

Virat Kohli: The new King of the victory chase
28 February, 2012, Sify.com

Ab ki baar Kohli ka waar…

cricket-players-2027502_640Form is temporary, Kohli is permanent.

There is one department in which Virat Kohli is a total Zero.
He simply can’t play the dot ball!

Jab captain ho Dhoni,
Aur batsman ho Kohli,
Jab sub-continent pe spinners,
Tab India hai winners.

Gavaskar—King when Tests ruled.
Tendulkar—King when ODIs ruled.
Kohli—King when T20s rule.

Therefore, India’s slogan before every cricket match…
Ab ki baar Kohli ka waar.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

When India chased 350+ with Australia, again!

Aussie jugalbandi…
Batsmen: Aaj phir jeene ki tamanna hai!
Bowlers: Aaj phir marne ka iraada hai!

PJ of the day…
Hamne ek virat score khada kiya hai: Aussies.
Hamne Virat ko hi khada kar diya: Indians.

Kohli ke khilaaf 300 ko defend karna mushkil hi nahi namumkin hai.
Iska hal saare mulko ke coaches dhoond rahe hain.

Aussie fielders Darr gaye and the bowling stuttered…
I hate you K… K… K… K… Kohli.

The series is now tied at 2-2-2.
(India-Australia-Rain)
In Bengaluru, rain always has the advantage.

Batting ke Shikhar par ek Dhanwaan baitha hua hai.

Indian bowling….
Isssshhhhhh! Sharma ke bina bhi sharma raha hai!

These versions by Sunil Rajguru